46. How I Got Started

January 10, 2023

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It’s so exciting to be here and it has been a while. So I want to take you back to where this whole thing started because recently I was speaking to a fellow coach and she asked me, I legit need to know how this whole thing started and it was amazing to have someone who, this is their first time meeting me.

They don’t know anything about what I do. They don’t know anything about what I used to do or how I came to this. And it was a lot of fun to start from the start and really give her the overview. And I thought, Hey, you guys don’t know the full picture or the overview. And sometimes that’s really exciting to hear.

Let’s dive into that. It all started . I don’t even know where to start, right? Because when I said that, I started thinking, oh, should I tell you that I was born in Israel and then we lived in Venezuela and then in Argentina, and then in Houston, Texas, and then in Detroit, Michigan. And then we moved to New York.

But that has nothing to do with it, but it, but then it does, right? Because it made me who I. So we moved a lot because my father is a rabbi, my mother’s a teacher and they wanted to give to the Jewish community and be there for people who don’t have who to turn to. And I think that’s where I got that really.

That seeped in very deep because I feel very much this need to be there for people and be the person that people turn to. And that’s what I have been since I was very, very little. So that’s the beginning. That’s the actual beginning. But then really I think where my. Beginning starts is when I was a graphic designer, so I went to Pratt Institute in Manhattan and I became a graphic designer and I worked on Fifth Avenue, and then I got married and then I had a baby, and then I came to Israel.

We made Aliah, and now we live in Israel. Since then, So for 15 years I was a graphic designer and because I really liked to do things top notch and I’m always trying to get to the top. So when we got to Israel, I got a really great job with, with the top graphic designer in Jerusalem. And then after that I, I think at that point I had three kids.

I went on my own and was a freelancer and I had really cool clients Intel in Tel Aviv and you know, all over. all over Israel. And then I got some from America and from France. So that was a lot of fun. That was really great. And I got very successful, like, you know, not very successful, like what people think of success, but I felt like I was really leaning into it fully and I was able to rise to the top.

And what happened was that one of the things that helps you grow in a business, and this is probably not news to anyone, but if it is, then take notes, is networking and connections are worth a lot more than. any, any other, you know, sale thing, like you could sell something to someone, but really if you become their friend and are able to help them and they can help you, you’re gonna go way farther.

And so I became really, you know, of course my nature is to like people and to be connected, but I got really intentional about networking and connecting and. . I went to a conference of women who are all in business, who are all trying to grow their business, who all live in Israel. And what was interesting is that they, there was this

feeling you can almost like, I can feel it. I’m a very sensitive person when it comes to these things. I felt like everyone was saying the same thing, which was. . I, I only wanna grow enough, like I just need to grow a little bit more. I, I, I don’t need to be a millionaire. I could just do with like, just a little bit more, right?

Or my business just needs to get a little bit more successful for me to be happy with it. I don’t actually wanna break through, you know, some glass ceiling or anything, because that would mean I would have to pay a price. And usually the price is my family, my marriage. My children. Right. There was it, and it was almost everywhere.

Everybody I spoke to, everybody’s response was, I don’t wanna grow too much, I just need to grow a little bit enough. You know, just, just, just a tid bit more, you know, get a couple more clients and I’ll be happy. and I thought to myself, why? Why is everyone holding themselves back? Why are we all being okay with?

Like, I just need to grow a little bit more. And that’s it. It’s fine. It’s enough. Of course, it’s enough. What you have now is enough. Everything’s a gift. It’s wonderful. You know, we’re really good at being content with what we have, but in reality, it wasn’t making people feel content. It was making them feel like they were holding themselves back because.

Everybody is talking about growing your business, is talking about getting more specific and getting more clients and getting, you know, succeeding and that pull that like, I wanna get there but I’m being pulled back. Why? And so I started getting into that and trying to find it also within myself because obviously I was hearing it from other people because I was feeling that.

I. Resentful of my husband , that, that I needed to, you know, it was all my, on my shoulders and I needed to support and you know, it’s not fair or it’s your fault that I can’t work enough hours and not make enough money, or that I can’t really go this way or that way, whatever. And it really wasn’t his fault.

And by the way, like it’s really comical to think back of it, like now I have a smile on my face. I think it’s funny. . But obviously then I wasn’t laughing so much. , . . And this exploded one day where I told it to him like, it’s all your fault. You make me feel guilty for, you know, working, for making more money, for being more successful, for, you know, going and having meetings where I feel important and then I come home and I have to like lower the volume on myself and.

During that explosion that I, I just told it to him like, it is because I’m so sick of, you know, holding it in, whatever. He turned to me and said, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Like, I want you to be successful. I want you to be happy. I am supporting you. Like anything I do is in order for you to be able to do what you do.

And I was like, what? So, It made me realize that I had to do a lot of inner work, , and then something wasn’t as it felt or was, you know, I was, something wasn’t in alignment. And that was a really beautiful journey where I was able to find alignment where I can thrive and love what I do and also, Be a really good wife and a really good mother.

And by the way, just as a note, there’s no such thing as good mother, good wife, right? Just like there isn’t a thing of bad mother, bad wife, you just are . I am a wife, I am a mother. And I learned that from Hannah Mason, one of the coaches who I really love. And when someone said, I’m not a good mother, so she said, what’s the turnaround?

And she’s like, I am a good mother. I was like, actually, no, no, it’s just, I am just be. Allow yourself to be. And that was so powerful because when you stop trying to be a good mother is when you finally become a good mother, right? That’s what I feel in my, in my journey I had to learn is that all they want is for me to just be present and not have to do anything or, you know, fake anything or expect anything of myself.

So that was pretty cool. So as part of my journey, lemme take a drink one second.

As part of the behind the scenes on the journey, what happened was that I,

I became more successful, more at peace. I. Optimized my business to work better and be more in alignment with what I really wanted to be doing. And I got over a lot of fears. Fear of success, fear of failure. Fear of success was harder to get over . And then,

and then I started getting my friends and. Network to ask me how I did it. And I thought, what do you mean? And they wanted to know how it is that I am able to do both so well. And I thought, I don’t know what you’re talking about, . And then I realized, I do know, I do understand because it all is coming together now.

When I was able to lean in fully. into my, my calling, my gifts. Then I was also able to be fully myself when it came to my marriage and my parenting and being able to be fully in both places allowed me to be full and whole. And I wasn’t being pulled and e either direction, and I didn’t feel like I was giving up anything or paying prices for something.

I wanted, and that’s when I realized I. I have something to teach. I have something to give. And I wasn’t really interested in teaching it because both my parents are teachers and I was like, I will never be a teacher. You know how that is, right? Does anybody else have that where it’s like, you don’t wanna be your parents?

And also I didn’t believe in myself. First of all, I was petrified. Of speaking in public, which people who hear me now are like, nah, that can’t be, but I would shake and I would not be able to get the words out of my mouth. I was so scared to say the wrong things, to mess up, to stand in front of everyone and make a fool of myself.

I was worried about what people would say about me. I was so. Paralyzed by the fear of speaking in public. And I know this is not something that I made up. People have it all the time but it was something that I had to get over and God is so good to me. He like designed the roadmap to getting over speaking in public.

for me. Like first he gave me something small and then I got over that and then he gave me something, you know, a little bit bigger and I got over that. So that was really cool. That was very interesting. But with all of this journey the big transition point was when I was pregnant with my sixth baby and now she’s four years old, so this was about five years ago.

Well, she’s over four. She’s four and a half. So I was pregnant and I started feeling like I don’t wanna do graphic design anymore, and I’m not sure why, because I love graphic design and this is what I love to do. And so that back and forth and, you know, trying to figure it out together with taking upon myself to pray every.

And so every day I stood in prayer and I asked God for clarity. And I’m like, what do you want? Because if I know what you want, then I’ll know what I want. And if I don’t know what you want, then I don’t know what I want because I want to do your will. And I started listening. I started listening to what was coming up and you know, what is going on around me.

And I couldn’t figure out what God wants for me. And so one day I just banged on the stender. It was like a table. That, that I had my prayer book on, and I just banged on it and I said, show me, show me what you want. And I was so serious. I was like, I can’t, I can’t be guessing anymore. Like I can’t do the guess guessing game.

So I, I finished praying and I continued on my day and that day three people came to ask me for, Out of the blue, there was one person knocked on the door, they went to the park and their kid needed to go to the bathroom and they live too far away. So is it okay if they come here? So, of course, yes. And how are you?

And by the way, can I ask you a question? And it, we got into this whole deep conversation about what really, what God wants from you and what is your mission in life and all that stuff. . Then a phone call came in from somebody who hasn’t spoken to me forever, and she’s like, I knew I could turn to you because I don’t know who to turn to.

And she started telling me her problem. And I was like, what’s going on? I’m seeing a pattern. And that night that night, some, one of my friends walked in, knocked on the door, walked in, gave me her iPad, and said, Hold my iPad for me because my husband just broke my phone and I don’t want him to break the iPad too.

And then I, you know, of course I sat her down and we had a whole session where I helped her through it. And at the end of it, she walked out happy and like knew what to do. You know, it wasn’t about confrontation anymore. It wasn’t about suffering anymore. And now it was more intentional and, and she knew where to go from here and.

The next day when I prayed, I said, oh, I get it right. . I didn’t think it would be so fast when you asked to be shown that in three day, in one day you get three. That’s pretty impressive. But it was, and it’s what kicked the ball into, oh, I need to be doing this more. And then of course I had to get coaching.

I got coaching by Debbie Sasson who said what’s the problem? Like you can’t charge money to help people, right? My parents did everything for free. They were the rabbi of the community, the ENT of the community, and they just, people just came and got free advice. So, who am I to charge? Like, that’s just wrong.

And you know, of course now was a grownup. I’m like, wait a minute. They were paid by the community, so they weren’t doing it for free. In that respect, It’s, it’s, it was such a limiting belief for me to be able to charge for, for my services, for my gift, for my ability. That was such a block, and that was the first thing that I tackled.

And after I tackled that and I started charging, I charged the people who already knew me and then, you know, they were blown away in one session, their entire. Perception of the whole situation changed and they connected to God through the situation. And then they started seeing miracles and I was like, oh my gosh, I can’t believe I haven’t done this and I didn’t know about this.

And it just kept rolling, right? Like a snowball just takes over and you don’t know how, like how did we get here? Right? That’s how it was. Pretty much. And then we flew to America right before Covid. That was really fun. And I had six speaking, engage. I was flown down to Florida, Jacksonville. Hi people. I’m probably coming back soon.

So yes, that was really exciting. I spoke in wood mirror and in, you know, Brooklyn and in Queens and I don’t remember where. But anyway, there were six, that was three years ago. And, and then I was, wow, look at that. I got over my fear. I’m speaking in front of like 40 women at a time. This is pretty cool.

And people are coming and talking, talking to me at the end saying this was impactful for them. So it started giving me a little bit of a push to move on, get going. This was actually pretty good. And when we got to Israel four days before Covid, I committed to hiring a coach in order to get me on track to actually doing this properly, like the right way, the full way.

I’m not taking any shortcuts like I want to get there. Whatever there was you know, to being able to do my, my mission in this world. I guess that was the, the there and. With the help of Debbie Sasson, my coach those six months were the most amazing transformation because every single week I saw progress and I had to, to clear out all of the junk.

Behind the scenes that was in the way of my success and my moving forward. And I started the podcast and I started a bunch of other things and I started one-on-one coaching. And those one, on those first, one-on-one sessions clients, I would say their feedback made everything come alive because sometimes you realize that you have a gift but you don’t underst.

To what extent it is a gift the ability to turn around an entire marriage from almost divorce to, oh my gosh, I love my husband and I can’t even imagine why I was thinking that. Or from a boring technical marriage where it’s like, yeah, we’re obviously not getting divorced because we have, you know, one of my clients has 10 kids and has been married forever.

And you know, we already went through therapy, we already went through couples counseling, we already did all these things, and things are just not good, but they’re not bad. Ooh. To be able to go from there to things are amazing. And I’m thriving and I’m happy. Oh, those are amazing. Okay, I see that I cannot get through.

So we’re gonna say that this is part one and tomorrow I will continue part two because I want, I don’t wanna leave you hanging, but I have to go to a session, so stay tuned. Part two will come tomorrow and I will let you know what happened. So far, I mean, since then, but yes, definitely stay tuned because we’re coming back to America and I will be coming to speak near you.

So be in touch if you’re interested. I love you all.

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