I have to share with you what went through my head last night, in the middle of the night. It was exactly 3:33 am.
My baby ended up in my bed because she woke up in the middle of the night crying. Back-story: My amazing husband (The Rabbi) brings the babies to me to nurse since our first daughter was born. I nurse, then I am already awake enough to put them back myself. (I am very grateful!)
So back to my story. I was super tired. My baby is around a year old and she hasn’t woken up in the middle of the night for a while now so I wasn’t so used to it anymore. This is where it gets interesting!
I started hearing the thoughts in my head – “Just let her stay, she is asleep next to you, at least this way you won’t have to get up” and “it’s so comfy in here, maybe later” but then I heard the other side: “If she stays here she will disturb everyone, you will not be able to sleep deeply enough and Avi will get up cranky cause she was in his space” and “Just go put her back, you can do it!”
I felt myself fighting the tiredness. My body didn’t want to move. It was like a rock. My mind was clear! After hearing both sides, it was obvious to me that the right thing to do was get up and put her back. I knew I would regret it if I didn’t; But I just couldn’t!
Then I said to myself – “Slow movements are better than none!” I don’t know where that came from, but it helped. I started moving in slow motion, first the blanket then myself. It felt funny and awkward. Usually when I am trying to fight the Yetzer Ha’ra I try to speed up my motions to create momentum. But here it felt right to slow down. I let my body take it’s time, get up slowly and eventually – success – I was back in bed, comfortable!
Comfortable for real because I knew I won! I made a decision and went through with it till the end. I kept repeating in my head “Slow is better than none!” Trying to figure out where that came from. Aha! It’s so appropriate for this time in my life.
Here I am, finally following through with the idea I had a while back to do something online. To be that Rebbetzin that helps people connect to Hashem on a deeper level. To be practical and real…
Two days ago I finally started. I created a free guide. I called it The-3-Steps-to-Clarity Guide and put it up on the web. I created a landing page where people can sign up and get the guide. and I wrote up the email that would deliver the guide. I did this in three days. And you know what? I did it quickly because I did it slowly.
Really, I wanted to design a website first, have the landing page match the website. Get the printout to be a-ma-z-ing. Put a better picture of myself, or maybe take new pictures cause all the pictures I have aren’t good enough… Also, I need a logo, and a color scheme, I am, after all a designer, I have been doing this for others for over 15 years, I need to do things “right” for myself – right?
Besides the look, also the content. I can’t start something from nothing, I need to have at least some content to put out there in my new website, to build up some consistency first, maybe pad it a bit with images I’ll create. I have to get the messaging just right and – and – get someone to look at it, cause I don’t trust that it’s good enough without approval!
STOP! It had to stop! I was paralysing myself by trying to be perfect. Ironically the name I chose is “Connected For Real” – perfect isn’t real. I don’t like when others put up facades to look like something they are not, or when social media only shows us one side of their life story. I am all about being real and authentic. As soon as I was able to align to my values I stopped myself! I decided the only way to do it is – SLOWLY!
One step at a time. No pressure.
Slow-motion is still motion!
This is the first post, not because I planned to have a blog, or write content, I didn’t! I’m writing because at 3 am this morning, it hit me, how important this message is. “Perfect is the enemy of good.” they say. Well, I want to say:
DONE is better than NONE!