170. Make Space For G-d in Your Life

Transcript:

  Welcome to the Connected For Real podcast. I’m Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman, a marriage coach for women in business. And my mission is to bring God’s presence into your life, into your marriage and into your business. Let’s get started.

 And we are live! Welcome, everyone, to the Connected for Real podcast. I am Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman, and today with us is Rebekah Saltzman. And I absolutely love Rebecca, and you’re going to find out why in just a second. So as you guys know, we are talking about a topic Coming from four different angles.

And today’s topic is organizing. And the four pillars are God, marriage, business, and you. And today we’re really focusing on organizing and God. So Rebecca, first, you’re going to introduce yourself and then we’re going to delve right into it. Tell everyone why I love you so much. Hi, everyone. I’m Rebecca Saltzman, and I am the author of Organized Jewish Life, and I run a membership called Journey to Organization and a podcast with the same name.

And I help people all over the world declutter and get organized because that’s my tough key in life. And I have developed a system where I work remotely with people and people are like that. That can’t work, but it totally works and it really is helpful because it trains you to learn new habits and really reconnect with the problems that you’re struggling with and figure out how to bypass them because I’m all about solutions.

It’s so fun. So I am one of the first members in, in the journey to organization and I definitely got some real big wins from that. My laundry room has completely been transformed as a good word. Your kitchen and the, the kitchen. We organized the kitchen. Yeah, we did the kitchen. It works so much better than I did before.

Yeah. Yeah. Can you tell me, is the kitchen working better for you? I didn’t even remember, but we did. We shifted things around. We didn’t, yeah, like I, when I think of the laundry room, I think of the fact like, I actually had shelves made and I actually raised my washing machine and dryer, like I think of physical things I changed.

But in the kitchen we just changed things like from here to there, like. You know, all the aluminums used to be on this side and now they’re on the other side. It makes total sense and it works much better, but I don’t think of that as like a big transformation, but yes, it definitely was. That’s funny that you don’t think of it that way, actually.

Yeah. I feel like, I feel like it’s those small changes that can move us forward. And sometimes we don’t even notice what like a little tweak can do and it makes a big difference. Right. You know how I think it’s because things are in flow that I don’t remember how choppy they were.

That yeah, that’s a very remember how bad it was. I get it. I get it. That’s a good thing. I think that is Um, so I brought rebecca here because organizing Is her specialty but also her connection to god and her ability to merge the two Living as a religious person who is trying to observe all of these things and organizing yourself within all of that is hard for a lot of people and your book is all about that.

I love that you have checklists and you have explanations about every single thing and how to get a handle on living a Jewish life in an organized manner. So that’s super awesome. Thanks. You’re welcome. So let’s get into it. So I’m not gonna profess to sit here and be like, I know what God wants.

Cause I don’t. But what I will say is that if you don’t make space for God. Then he has no space to come into your life. So clearing out the things that aren’t useful to you helps you find that space to have God in your life. More than that, though, it allows you to align with your four pillars, which is to, you know, have space for yourself, have space for your marriage.

And also if you have a business to have space for your business, because when you’re not taking care of stuff, you can focus on other things that are more important to you. And the thing about life. And this is true for everyone. I can’t I don’t know one person who this isn’t true for is that no matter how organized you are, you can’t delay or or push away the onslaught of stuff that just comes at you all the time.

So the idea is to be able to. Be flexible and to pivot around all the situations that come into your life. And when you have that capability, you are stronger in all the areas in your life. But to me, the only way that you can really have that skill set is by not worrying about things. Because when you’re worried about all the clutter on your floor and all the laundry and all the cooking and all the kitchen utensils being everywhere and the dishes in the sink, you can’t focus on all the other things.

And I’m not saying you need a lot of help. I’m just saying less stuff eliminates or requires less time to care for it. So, in other words, the less stuff you have, the less time you need to dedicate to spend time to taking care of those things, which means. You then have room to do the things that are important for you and things that you might normally procrastinate are, are less likely to be procrastinated on, and you’re more likely to reach your goals because there’s less distraction around you, right?

It’s just really hard to let go of stuff. And I think that brings God back into the conversation. You know, when I told you that you said. There’s always more, yeah, God is abundant I think, okay, so we live in a very consumerist society, really? And the message that we’re always getting is more is better and you need this and you need this and that to live your best life, right?

Most people don’t need all that distraction, and in fact, it’s too much stuff for them to care for. There was a study a couple of years ago, maybe like 10 years ago, where researchers tried to see how many objects people had in their house, and most American families had like over 100, 000 items in their house.

And if you think about it, and even in things that are groupings, like, why do you need 100 pairs of socks? Because like doesn’t right. It feels good when you’re buying it, but then, you know, you’re storing it and you’re like, I don’t have room for all this stuff. And then what happens is all this stuff spills out of your closet and it’s on the floor and all your stuff is on the floor and you’re like, my floor is always dirty and the closet’s always full and I can’t put anything away.

The laundry is always a mess. Because there’s so much stuff. I mean, most of the stuff that we have, we use like 20 percent of our stuff 80 percent of the time. I always have to say that one really slow because the numbers always trip me up. But like, that’s very telling, you know, and people always say to me, they’re like, I have a big house.

I have the room for the stuff. Okay, but. It’s not just the physical space that the stuff takes up. It’s the emotional space that it takes up and the time commitment that it takes up and empty spaces. Okay. And it’s a good thing. And even more than that, when you have empty space, you not only leave room for abundance, but you leave room for God and to your original question, which was, it’s really hard to let go of things it is, but you can do hard things and it’s important to realize.

And to reframe for yourself that sometimes when you hold something, you’re just the messenger I received XYZ. I received, you know, a sweater. It fit me right one time, but then I gained weight or I lost weight and doesn’t fit me anymore. So somebody else can use it and. Reap the benefit of my bracha and I’m passing my bracha onto them and the beauty of when I pass my bracha on to you or somebody else is that I make room for abundance because now I have empty space to receive and that is a big deal because you need empty space in order to receive if you’re asking God to send you A new car, but you don’t have a parking space and you don’t have a garage.

Where are you going to put the car? Right. You’re going to park it three blocks down the road. That’s annoying. It’s almost not worth having maybe because it’s so difficult to deal with, or your garage is totally full. Wouldn’t it be so much more convenient if you could park the car in the garage?

So in order to make space for the car, you have to clean out the garage, right? Right. I’ve heard people who want to get married clear out half their closet. To make room for their future husband and yeah, and the amount of self work that takes is just beyond beautiful. You know, like we think we’re only doing something that is physical.

We think that we’re just clearing out half a closet, but really what we’re doing is we’re Letting go of things that aren’t exact. We are learning things about ourselves. We’re sticking to a goal. We’re taking action. We’re staying busy. So we’re not obsessing over other things that may not get us there.

Like there’s so many side effects to doing that is so awesome. Well, first of all, I’ll just say this in my decluttering sessions, the amount of people, especially at the beginning, when they first start with me, who find significant amount of money is it’s a lot of people, like, I would say at least every other person finds a significant amount, amount of money within their first 10 sessions.

And usually it’s within their first two or three sessions and it’s not just the money that people find, but it was like, Oh, I’ve been looking for this. Blah, blah, blah for, you know, a couple of weeks. I thought I lost it. One woman found her engagement ring, which is like thousands of dollars, you know, and she was really disappointed cause she thought she was going to have to replace it.

And I had her clean out her makeup and. She found it. It was in her makeup bag, right? Like, sometimes we put things someplace because we think it’s a safe place to put it. And then, we can’t remember where we put it, and then when we find it, we’re like, Wow, we found it, right? Or something like, maybe you didn’t bring into your house, so you didn’t necessarily know that you had.

But then you find it and you’re like, wow, this is going to be so useful. I’m glad that I have this because I needed this. So like when you open yourself up, I find that God has a funny way of just being like, Oh, you let go of the things that are not serving you. So I’m going to help you find the things that are serving you.

And I think that’s. God’s kindness and I almost want to call it mercy. I don’t know if it’s the right word here or not, but it feels like it is are amazing and abundant. You’re his child. He doesn’t want you to suffer. And yes, there are. Oftentimes when we have to go through hard and difficult things, and it feels like he does want us to suffer, but those hard and difficult things really move us forward and change us and propel us to the next level.

I think realizing that things that are sitting in my house, you know, just in case aren’t really allowing me to serve God in a way that. If let’s say they were serving someone who’s actually using it you know. So you guys have to know this about me. Before I started working with Rebecca, I had a lot of clothes and I believed about myself that I love all the different options and all the colors and all the things.

And I don’t want to stick to any like one thing. Cause I really like everything. And you know, I really enjoyed that choice except then we started working together. And the first thing I did. was I gave away seven gigantic bags of clothes. That is almost my entire closet. I only kept dresses because I decided I do not like wearing skirts.

I don’t like the way it makes me feel like all, you know, tight in the middle, whatever. And I let go of so many things. It was really hard to do. And Rebecca held my hand and it was life changing. It helped me get dressed in the morning. There are no bullies in my closet anymore telling me that I should or could wear something different or better.

And I’m also sticking to colors that make me happy. And I found that there were things that I like the color and I like the shirt or I like the sweater on someone else, but then when I wear it, it doesn’t look so good or it doesn’t make me feel so good. It was making me feel bad about myself every time I looked at it because it just wasn’t right for me.

So I gave away seven bags of my clothes and of course now it’s a lot smoother. I have a lot less stuff. And how does that make you feel like when you open your closet? Oh, I’m I’m so excited. I’m so excited. My closet works for me. My clothes work for me. It’s so fun. And I highly recommend you do this.

Everybody should do this. Get get through your clothes and just, you know, do this and It’s hard. It’s hard to do by yourself. I’ve done this before, I’ve done this before by myself, but never in a system that you teach and never saw so thought out that there is a plan and I know where I’m going. So that was extremely helpful.

But then the next step was I realized I had a lot of baby clothes that I was keeping because I have a lot of babies. So it makes sense that you keep the baby clothes for the next baby, right? So I ended up, I have four girls first and then a boy. So I had all this girl stuff that was four girls in a row.

And then I had a boy. So then. You know, then I had a girl and a boy and a girl. So, you know, but it ended up being that I’m actually keeping things for a lot longer than I’d like to, because if the next one is a boy now, that means that by the time this boy is six years old, I want to have clothes for him.

That does not make sense. You know, like I was saving things for many, many years and it was weighing me down a lot. So I gave a lot, a lot of clothes away that were in perfect condition, beautiful things, like, I felt like it is so hard to give away, because like, you know, it’s easier to give the junk out.

You’re like, oh, this thing can go to the garbage, but maybe someone else can use it, so I’ll just give it to the gamak. Like, that’s not very nice. Or fair, but it’s easier for us to do. And when you look at something that’s like, oh, this is Carter’s and I just wore it twice and like the little kid grew so fast.

And oh, what am I going to do? It is so much harder. Well, you know how I feel about the just in case. But I’ll say it for everybody else. I mean, holding on to things just in case to me is a lack of faith and belief in God. And I know that sounds really harsh, and I’m not saying I’m perfect at this all the time.

I’m just saying it’s something that I work on myself even, but the truth of the matter is, is when you say I’m holding onto this just in case, and you don’t have a real tangible time when you’re going to use it again, then you’re basically saying to God, like, I don’t believe that when the time comes, you’re going to give me what I need.

And I’m not saying, okay, so there are things that as Jewish people, we hold onto that we use. Annually, like our Soca decorations or our Hanukkiot or our apple and honey jar, right? Like those are things we’re using annually and I’m not saying don’t hold on to them from year to year. That’s absolutely not what I’m saying.

It makes sense to hold on to those things from year to year because Then you also know that there’s always going to be Hanukkah or there’s always going to be Passover. Like there are things that you know, Because there’s a real solid deadline in it. That’s why it’s okay to save that kind of stuff because it’s not just in case it’s, Hanukkah is going to come every December, every Kislev, right?

So I know that I’m going to use this again. That is not a just in case. Okay. And the things that we have for Shabbos that we use are not just in case the things that we are not sure if we use for Shabbat are definitely just in case. And those kinds of things. Okay, so maybe that’s the discussion we need to have about passing them on.

But I have reservations about people who say to me that they have a six year old and they’re still holding on to infant clothing. And I’m like, but you don’t know when you’re going to be blessed with a baby. You might be trying, but it could still be another year. And then you have to hold on to all these clothes for all this time.

And so much could happen within that timeframe and clothing, even though we don’t necessarily think of it this way in storage, clothing and storage does. Kind of have a shelf life because it’s sitting there collecting dust. It can get bugs. It can get water damage. It could get mold stains that you might not have seen before especially on baby clothes could come out and they can yellow over time The elastic can wear out like if they’re not being used They’re serving no one and they’re not serving their purpose and so When you say, okay, it’s been six years.

I’m going to let these go. You actually bring space to have that new baby because it’s like, now you’re holding onto all this stuff. Right. And you might feel this tinge of regret, like, Oh, why did I get rid of all that stuff now I’m pregnant. Right. But, but the truth of the matter is, is that. Usually freeing something up like that, freeing up that space allows you to get out of the headspace.

And the truth is, is you always have a sister or a friend or a sister in law or a grandmother who’s buying more stuff for the kids. And you know, you can always get more. So I’m very conscientious about telling clients specifically with baby clothes and maternity clothes, like only save for the kids that you know, you already have.

And even within that, be very conscientious about what you save because you don’t want to save too much. And most people have too much of everything in every size. And this is what creates clutter and disorganization for us is that because kids have so many sets of clothing, it’s too much for them to manage themselves.

For like a four or five year old, for example, if they have 25 shirts, that is just way too much for them to deal with, narrow it down to two weeks worth of clothes. And it will be much easier for them to maintain it. Getting dressed will be less problematic, but more than that, the laundry will actually be easier and it will create more time and space for you.

And you might think, well, how can fewer clothing items make less laundry for me, but it’s. I don’t know. It just is true because it’s easier to let’s be real. I mean, if you have small kids, you’re running the washing machine several times a week, if not every day. I mean, in Israel, we don’t even have small kids and we run the washer almost every day.

Like it becomes easier to take care of your clothes When it’s easy to put them away and you have the space to put them away, because like I said before, you’re only using a very small percentage of the clothing each time, like at all. So, so having more of it doesn’t make life better. Right. It just makes it harder to maneuver.

I want to say something about this. And I also want to go back to my story. So about this, I also think that We don’t realize, but a lot of the clothes get washed for no reason when there’s too much clothes because they fall out and they end up on the floor and they end up being dragged around. And then you’re like, Oh, I got to wash this now. It wasn’t even used. It wasn’t even worn and it’s already being washed. So there’s a lot of things that I’ve found that decreased laundry because there was less of a mess. That’s definitely one thing. And then back to my story about getting rid of baby clothes. I told you I had four girls and then a boy.

And so I was like, what am I saving girl clothes for? Who knows what’s coming next? And at this point, whatever is coming next deserves new clothes. Right. So I gave them to my friend who had just like that week that we went through the clothes that we found them and my son and my you know.

That week, my friend who had three boys and just had a girl had a baby, right? So she had no clothes because all her stuff was boys. And I came and showed up with a ton girl clothes. And it’s, it’s almost shocking when you bring this much clothes to someone and they look at you. You’re like. I only have one, you know, like, I only have one baby.

I don’t know if she can wear this. Even if she wears one every day for the rest of her life. Like there’s so much clothes here. And it made me realize how much clothes we have, you know, it’s really a lot. So. Wait, can I interrupt you for one second? Doesn’t it feel good to be the messenger? Like don’t you feel blessed that you’re passing on the blessing to somebody else?

But one thing I just want to say about that is that a lot of times people get hung up they’re ready to get rid of the stuff, but they want it to go to a good home. So what I always say to people is God can do anything. He can get it where it needs to go.

Take it to the donation spot. God, whoever needs it will get it. Like, don’t worry about it, let that be God’s problem, like, be like, God, this is your problem, I’m gonna just hand it over to you, I trust you, you’ll get it where it needs to go, or someone will call me saying they need it, or like, but I’m gonna plan on taking it X place on X day, and then I’m gonna, you know, be like, this is your thing.

It’s letting go. It makes a big difference to pass that burden onto God and be like, you gave me this, you gave me this blessing. And I’m going to say, thank you so much for this blessing. And I’m passing my blessing onto somebody else. And I’m going to let you get it to whoever needs it, because I don’t know who needs it.

  Hey! Before we continue the episode, I want to ask you something. Are you ready to get answers from God directly? Feel more in love with your husband and more supported than ever? Run the business of your dreams without having to sacrifice any other part of your life? That is exactly what my one on one private coaching is for and I want to invite you, just you and me, for a free deep dive discovery call.

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Now back to the show.

 Yeah. And that’s a big deal. It’s, it’s really cool. So ever since then, I’ve been giving away everything. I don’t save anything unless, unless I know a hundred percent that next winter. I’m going to need it or next summer, this next kid is going to need it. So at this point, the teenagers the top four, they’re all sharing clothes.

So it’s no longer a thing. Like they already are old enough to go through their stuff and give me bags of giveaway. I don’t have to go through it, but with the boys and the girls that now I have alternating. So I’ll save because there’s so many years apart because there’s a kid in between. I’ll save things if I know for sure that it matches up or that, it’s really worth saving.

But for the most part, I’m giving away all of the baby clothes. I’m giving away everything. And you know, it’s really hard. It’s really hard because this baby, number eight, got a lot of new clothes and a lot of beautiful blessings and a lot of wonderful things. And you think to yourself, like I finally have all this good stuff again, like why am I giving it away?

But then I have to remind myself that just like this baby came as number eight and still got beautiful new clothes next baby, if it comes and when it comes or whatever is also going to be taken care of. That’s the whole point of having brought in your conversations. So let me ask you a question. Do you feel that with this baby, you had fewer pieces of clothing?

And if yes, was that okay? Like, was that a comfortable number? Yeah. So I felt like a little disoriented at first because I thought I had clothing for newborn. Somewhere I just couldn’t find it. It still might be somewhere. I have no idea where it is. But I thought I had newborn stuff. So when I was like gigantic pregnant, I suddenly realized I can’t find it.

So I ran around and I tried looking for things that that was dis disorienting. And I think that the realization that I have nothing made me a lot more open to finding and figuring out things. So I ended up having a lot of clothes. Not all of it was exactly what I wanted. Like I really liked the one piece zipper or with

the snaps. I don’t like putting on pants and shirts. Just like, I don’t like wearing them. Like, you know, two piece. I don’t like putting them on my babies. I just feel like it’s extra things. So I kept looking for one piece things and it was hard to find. And I thought it would be much easier in the stores too.

Like it was just harder to, to find one piece things. And I don’t know why that is because. Shouldn’t they know designers out there that like one piece things are so much easier. So it was a little bit complicated, but then when I caught myself and I was like, okay, okay, okay. It’s not about me. It’s not about me having to control finding it and whatever.

I will let go and it will come. So it did. I did end up having everything I needed. This baby did not go you know, naked anywhere and then, then when I got more clear on what I want. I gave, anything that was tops and bottoms, I gave to the daycare so that they can have spare clothes and my mother in law ended up ordering the things I asked for, like the one piece things.

So she bought like, you know, from America and she was able to send this to me. So I feel like I ended up having way better quality stuff than with some of my other kids. But it took a little bit of organizing on my part to just get my act together to know what I want and what I need. Okay, so that, that is like a big key phrase.

A lot of people feel ill at ease about letting go because they don’t necessarily know what they want in the future. Like, it’s hard for my daughter, actually my daughter is a champion declutterer. She’s really great at it, but like, she does tend to hold onto things, even if they’re not in great condition anymore, only because she really doesn’t like to go shopping.

I know. Me too. She knows what she wants in her mind, but it’s hard for her to find it or to find the size that fits her. And she doesn’t like the actual, you know, going shopping. And so. In those situations, it’s not a hoarding sort of situation. She’s just holding onto it because like literally it’s her last resort.

And it’s not a, I’m worried that I won’t get what I need, but I’m actually still using it even though it’s not in good condition. And that is like a totally different slant on this side of things. Yeah. I would say in that case, don’t get rid of it before you find a replacement. You know, there are things that I have found myself wanting to get rid of and realizing that if I get rid of it, I will not find a replacement easily enough.

So I make it my goal to find. I mean, look, is it a full proof that, you know, just because you create space for something God will give you that thing or something else? No, my belief is God always gives you what you need. And if he doesn’t give you what you want, it’s because you didn’t need it. Sometimes we’re blessed to get both what we need and what we want.

But a lot of times. That’s not always a blessing to get what we want. Right. I’ve always tried to go down the path of not always, but I try to go down the path of if it’s good for me, it will happen. And even though it doesn’t feel good when there’s something that you want and you don’t get it, it means that it was not the right thing for me. Maybe the timing isn’t right or maybe, you know, not getting this 1 thing means that it sets me up for something better down the road. And I think that.

Oftentimes we get confused with the material bounty that we have versus like the spiritual bounty that we need. And, and we think that, that the stuff will bring us this level of happiness, but actually a lot of times I think having Less stuff actually brings us a lot more happiness. I remember right after we moved to Israel and we were living in our rental house that was furnished temporarily.

And we just had like whatever suitcases we brought with us. And I remember feeling completely calm and at ease, even though. It was a new surrounding with a new language new products to figure out, right? And new systems to figure out. It was like, I took, I had my sheets, I had my towels, I had the soap, I had my clothes, right?

The basics were covered. And even though I didn’t have all of my stuff with me, it still felt really good to be in that situation with less stuff. And I really don’t know anybody who’s moved to Israel. In that kind of situation who said to me that they didn’t actually really enjoy that time period with less stuff.

It was actually hard for them when their containers arrived with all their extra stuff or their shipments arrived with all their extra stuff. And then they realized like just how much stuff they had. And it’s true. There are sometimes things you can’t put in a carry on bag

that makes you happy. Like when my artwork got hung on the wall, that really made me happy. But, you know, if I didn’t have a good percentage of the stuff that I, that I have, would it be the end of the world? In fact, I told the shipper, I said to him, listen, if you put my container on the top and it falls into the sea, I’ll just collect the insurance money and move on with my life.

I’ll be happy. And he was like, are you serious? And I’m like, yeah, I’m moving to a new country. It’s an opportunity to get a fresh start. Almost everything that I have, I can get something else. It might not be the same, but like dishes are dishes. Candlesticks are candlesticks. Like would I be a little bit upset if my artwork and my candlesticks fell into the sea?

Yes. Would it be the end of my world? No, because there’s more of those things. Right. And it might not be exactly the same, but it doesn’t mean that I can’t create a beautiful home even if I don’t have those things. And so I think it’s really what it comes down to is reframing this conversation we have in our mind.

Like it must be these things. And that is a very limiting belief. We limit ourselves when we say it must be this way. You know, I had a problem, like a technical problem yesterday. I’ve been having a lot of technical problems actually this week with some of the systems and automations I have in place.

And by the way, I’ll just say this because. Even though I’ve been having so many technical problems this week, I’m still a really big fan of outsourcing and automation. And I really think that having these kinds of systems in place frees up a lot of time so that you can focus on God, on yourself, on your marriage, but also because it makes your business run more smooth.

But This week something happened with my automations and a lot of stuff in the backend of my business. And it’s been really, really frustrating. And I said to the person who’s helping me, I’m like, I need a simple, cheap solution, like a workaround. It doesn’t have to be the final answer.

It just needs to be, and she’s like going, no, this is the only way. This is the only way finally. I woke up this morning and I’m like, that is not the only way. And I figured out another solution and it took me 45 minutes to fix it. And that was it. And what she had been proposing was like three or four hours worth of work.

And is my solution perfect? And does it fix a larger problem within this, the automation that was happening? Not necessarily, but it solves the problem in a very big way in the automation that will save me a lot of time. And I can add back in those other elements later on, but this way I can finish what I need to get finished.

And it only took me 45 minutes and I did it by myself and it didn’t cost me $850 to fix it. And it felt like such a relief. Like she was like bogged down and seeing it like this is the only path you could take to get the result that you want. Right? But really there is. Almost always another way, and it might not be perfect and it might not be the solution that you were hoping for, but it works and it’s good enough.

And I think one of the big things that we. As Jewish women, as women in general, as mothers, as wives, as businesswomen is we get bogged down in this perfectionist vibe and we’re like, I’m only going to do things that are perfect, but I’m not perfect. You’re not perfect. No one is perfect. We can’t do things perfectly all the time, even if it’s 99 percent right.

It’s not 100 percent right. Like there’s always something that’s like a tiny bit, you know, that you wish was a little bit different. Right? So. Yeah. My point to you is, if you let go of the perfectionism, and you’re just happy with good enough, and you start chipping away at problems in your business, in your home, in your relationship with yourself, if you start just chipping away, slowly, slowly, slowly, It makes a really big difference.

You’re a lot more productive. You get more out of every situation and everything makes you feel so much happier. Like I went to bed last night really upset because I was like, nothing is working and nobody is giving me solutions and everybody’s just focusing on. And I woke up this morning and I’m like I know the solutions for this. And then a second problem that I was having with an integration between payment provider and my invoicing service, where I wasn’t getting responses from either company to find out where the technical problem was on their end, all of a sudden, bam, I freed up that space with that second problem, the first problem is getting resolved, just because I kept looking for a solution, I didn’t get stuck in that space and I said to myself, okay, I’m going to bed.

I’m going to sleep on it and tomorrow things will be better. Right. And I just let it go. And I let it be God’s problem. And I was able to then receive. Like a download almost. And I actually think that it’s super related to this week’s Parsha, which is that this week’s Torah portion where Jacob is down he’s fleeing from his parents house and he’s going to his uncle’s house.

Right. And he’s on the road and God forces him to lay down. And to sleep. And in that sleep, that’s where he has vision. And Rashi says there, one of the comment, the medieval commentator says, that Jacob, Was always busy learning and he never slept and he was always waiting for God’s revelation while he was awake.

But the simple act of going to sleep, lowered his level of consciousness enough that he was able to receive God in a dream. And when he woke up, he even acknowledges that like, Oh, I’ve just been in a holy place. Right. And it is so key and important that. We get like hung up. It’s like, I can receive God this way.

Right, but maybe the alternative is really this way and the alternative might actually work better. And so it’s really important to reframe those scenarios for yourself. And, and when something happens, especially with an organization, because I feel like I’m an organized person. Right. But these. Situations just came at me and there’s nothing I could do and so you spend time investigating and it’s true you spending time and then you have to flex and pivot to fix these problems that are coming up to you, but sometimes when you say, okay, I did all I can do. I’m going to go to sleep. I’m going to let it be God’s problem.

And in the morning when I wake up, things will be better. Is that going to happen every single time? No, but it gives you the space to pull away. Okay. And look at it from a different perspective, which often is what moves us forward. It’s that different perspective. Right. Yes. So true. I love what you said about Jacob being forced to this pause, you know, we’re go, go, go, go, go.

And God is like, just pause, just pause. God is in the pause. And there’s whole like lines of commentary talking about like the pause in the dark and God actually brings the night early. Some commentators say, like, he brings on night early just so that he can pause. That’s interesting. Like, I, I felt compelled after I finished my sessions last night to go on and keep working on the problem until finally I was just like, you know what?

No, I’m too frustrated. I can’t like, no. That’s amazing. That was the solution just to pause. This is so powerful. I think everything we’ve said so far, you know, connecting to the fact that God is in control. He is abundance. He is the source of abundance. When you let him in, he takes over and When we try to hold on to the control of I need to make sure my kids have clothes I need to make sure that we have this in case of emergency.

I need to make sure that right So it’s like all about you and being in control and thinking you’re the one who made sure we had this in case of emergency Like are you able to let go of? Your solutions and you’re having to have it all just right perfectly in place and Letting God show you that actually there may be a better option, you know in case of emergency You might not want this half broken thing Maybe you’ll want a brand new one from your neighbor who just happens to throw it out or you know whatever it is like there’s going to be all these like You know, we call them miracles or synchronicities or random things that are definitely not random that are going to happen for you to suddenly end up in a better place without having to hold on to it, you know, physically and emotionally.

What happens if in an emergency, you can’t access your stuff? Like I’ll give you an example on October 7th, I mean, I live in Israel. And on October 7th, it was Sukkot and we were visiting my father in the United States. And we got stuck there. So, you know, right then in October in Maryland is like when the seasons really start to change.

Right. And so we didn’t really bring appropriate clothes. Well, I have my appropriate clothes in Israel, but I didn’t have any appropriate clothes there. Like I’m holding onto them. I wasn’t even holding onto them just in case I can be certain every year that winter will come around. Right. But, but. In the short term, like I didn’t have what I needed.

I had to get new stuff. And thankfully the thrifting and where, where my dad lives is great. And I put out a shout out and like a local Facebook group. And I’m like, these are the things that we need that we don’t have. And the community was like, great. And they dropped off stuff at our house and it was great.

And you know, you go in like a panic for a minute and you’re like, I don’t have this. And I need it and all the emergency planning in the world is not gonna help you if God doesn’t want you to be in the situation where you have access to it. Am I saying don’t emergency plan? Absolutely not. That is not what I’m saying.

It is incumbent upon us to plan for emergencies. Should every Israeli have like a go bag? 100 percent. Should we have some food stores? Yes. Should we have clean water and reserves? 100 percent. I’m not saying don’t have those things. I’m just saying there’s no guarantee that even if you have those things, you’ll be able to access them in case of an emergency.

And you have to be prepared for the fact that even if you do your part, your Ishtar Lut, you may not have What you need exactly the moment you need it, but that doesn’t mean that it won’t come to you. And this is something that I work on very, very hard on myself. You have to sometimes have patience and give God a minute to, to get to you.

Like sometimes there’s a line. You just be patient, wait on line. It’s coming. And believe that it’s coming. It’s coming. I love that you say to have patience. I do not think that there is a line. You know, God is capable of getting to you exactly when you need to be gotten to the patient timeline, right?

The patient comes to make you realize that is not about you and your control. A lot of times. God is sitting there waiting in your face for you to finally recognize that it is not in your control. Right? Like, so the patience part isn’t so much about God not getting to me, it’s about me not getting to him.

Right? So I just want to make this super clear. Yeah, I mean, I always think about it as like you’re in line at a bureaucratic office and the person’s looking at you and looking at you and they’re like, they’re available, but they’re just not serving you. I think about it like, for whatever reason, they’re like, I don’t know, it’s not your time.

Oh, so no, that’s God baggage right there. That’s what we work on in my program. No, no, no, no. When I picture being patient. That’s the kind of situation I’m saying that that’s where you need to like exit. That’s what it looks like to me in my mind. Like, okay, I’m sitting in Misrata Panim in the office in the interior waiting for someone to call my name and they’re all available, but I just have to sit there and be patient because I mean, to me, in my mind, that’s what like bureaucratic heaven looks like.

Yeah, so that’s called baggage. Yeah, God is not a bureaucratic office. And there are there are no lines. God is actually right here right now. And he might be like pie in your face. Like, I am right here. I am ready to give you what you want. It’s, you know, like, I picture it like a bucket with all the abundance is like half Tilted and like ready to go.

And all you need to do is just open up yourself and allow it in. Like it’s just, it’s being, it’s pouring in, but it’s not being received. It’s not being captured. So become a vessel, allow things in, allow more of yourself to expand and to create space for all those amazing things. That’s our job. You know, the, the reality of God is so beyond good.

That is hard for us to even imagine it. Yeah, we just can’t even imagine the full capability. A lot of us have like an ideal timeline or or plan of how things are supposed to work. I’m supposed to be by this marker by this time. Right. But I think we forget that. It doesn’t have to be that way, and it could be better than you thought it could be.

And even when it’s worse than you thought it would be, that doesn’t mean that the long term is worse. Maybe, one thing didn’t happen to you the way you thought it was. And you’re like, this is terrible. And then six months down the line, you’re like, Oh, it’s a good thing that happened because it’s set off this chain reaction of things that got me a better end result. And when we’re in it, we can’t see always that it’s, it’s because it feels like.

You know, and like, yes, that is not a good feeling and it’s hard to be in that feeling and say, God is good and he’s gonna do the, the best thing for me. It’s really hard to say that and do that, and I’m, I’m not saying that it’s not. Difficult or challenging to be in situations where you’re feeling that way.

I’m just saying it makes the situations easier when you look for the light at the end of the tunnel. When you focus on the solution instead of the problem that makes a big difference. And within organization to me, the solution is 90 percent of the time. That the simplest way to do things is usually the solution.

Like we tend to overthink the solution when really there’s something very simple that could propel us forward. And it might not be perfect, but a very simple solution. And so you think like, well, how could having less. Not you. Royal you. Thanks. How could having less net me more? But it does. I like to think of the amount of stuff like God on the Jewish New Year on Rosh Hashanah says, like, you’re going to get this much in assets, right?

And so if you’re supposed to have 100, 000 worth of assets, right? And you have, you know, 10, 000 or 15, 000 worth of assets that you’re not using, and you really need 10, 000 or 15, 000. You’re like, I really need that. Why isn’t God sending it to me? And it’s like, do your part.

Let go of the things that aren’t serving you. Focus on on building and curating the best selection of things that in your house, the things that really serve you, because if if things aren’t serving you, you’re serving them. So when you take the time to focus on curating your best collection of things, finding the things that really serve you, letting go of the things that don’t serve you when you free up that, that first of all, the physical space, but also the monetary value of it.

It’s like, whoa. I can let all these good things come into my life and I have struggled with weight my whole life, all my life. And the minute you decide to lose weight, it takes time, right? Because first of all, it’s not healthy to lose rapid amounts of weight, you know, all at once, you know, it’s not, you can’t just lose 30 pounds in a week. Right. That’s really unsafe and not healthy.

And it’s really hard to lose one pound a week, even. And when you lose one pound, you don’t get to determine where it’s from on your body. Right. You have no control over weight loss, but with decluttering, you’re in total control. Like you get to make the decisions about what you keep, what you toss. You can decide where in your house it’s going to be clean and, and where you’re going to have less and where you’re going to free up space.

And there is a lot of control. And the best thing about decluttering is you can decide to do it right now and spend an hour doing it. And that’s it just an hour. And it will make a big difference. Does that mean you will never have to go back to it and do maintenance? Absolutely not. But what it does mean is Is that you have the power right now today, this minute to go into any area of your life and say, I’m going to make space for something new and better to come to me and actually make that happen right now.

Will that thing come to you right now? Maybe, maybe not. I don’t know. I’m not God, but you have the power to create space for it now. And that is a very good feeling. It is an incredible feeling and it makes you feel like you’re 10 pounds lighter, emotionally, physically, whatever it is, but I cannot tell you the relief that people feel just from having a clean floor.

You know what’s beautiful? You said something now that I think we have to double tap on. Can I guarantee that by letting go, you will get new things? Can I guarantee that by decluttering new things will come into your life? No, cause I’m not God. And that’s, you know, that’s the same in everything that we’re trying to create.

We’re like, you can create your reality, do this, this, and that. Yes, you can do your part and changing the dance and, and. allowing for new things and, and creating space and all the great stuff. But at the end of the day, if you’re doing it with this grabby attached feeling and energy for the result, like I’m going to let go of half my clothes so that God sends me new, beautiful clothes and I need to have this one thing and I know what I want and like very grabby and very energetically not aligned at all.

It’s going to be very hard for you to be happy at the end of this tunnel, right? Because the energy isn’t there. It’s you’re, you don’t go into, and by the way, you know, people go into business thing, like I’m going to make this amount with this amount of clients and, you know, and then like, you feel their grabbiness.

You’re like, man, you got to chill. Business is a long term goal. It’s a marathon. Yeah, this is a process you’re gonna have to learn about yourself. You’re gonna learn about your people You’re gonna learn about the things and you’re going to try things and it’s going to work and it’s not going to work And and it’s going to be you know, really fascinating and it’s going to be a journey, but it is not what you jump into in order to be grabby and really icky like that.

So same thing. We’re not really talking about declutter in order for God to give you more stuff. And we guarantee that when you declutter, you will receive. It’s more like when you bring God into the situation, like if we were just to bring someone on to speak about organization from a very plain, Perspective.

The conversation would be very different, but we’re doing here is we’re bringing God into the conversation and saying, God is here. He runs the world. He is abundant. He is good. He wants you to connect with him and you can connect through the actions that you take. So if you are able to let go. Of the things that don’t serve you of the things that were once blessings are now weights and are now you know Not a blessing then Help me out with a word It’s not that they’re not a blessing.

It’s that they’re not a blessing for you And that’s when the messenger exactly for you. It becomes a weight becomes something to have to take care of but it’s just like with tzedakah sometimes stuff like The, the sage teach that tzedakah, if you have tzedakah to give, you should think of yourself as the messenger.

So when you declutter the same thing, like if you put yourself in the messenger position where, where that’s your job to be the messenger. Like even if it’s used. As long as it’s in good condition or it’s something that somebody else really needs, like that is your new role. Right. You, you are now not the receiver of a gift.

You are now the messenger of someone else’s gift. And isn’t that beautiful? Because it feels really good to give and it feels really good to be able to help someone else and make their, their day and, and assist them with what they need. And think about it. You know, There was once some my neighbor had taught me this many years ago.

She started this group where like they swap every month. They all bring their stuff that they don’t need anymore. And they swap things and take from someone else’s piles, like just put it out on the table. And she says the first couple of times you have all the garbage, like people are giving away the things they’re never wearing, the things that aren’t fitting, right.

The things that are not in good condition. And after a couple of months. You meet up and people are bringing their good stuff, the stuff they were saving for, you know, okay, now I’m ready to let go of this, you know, brand new dress that I never wore because blah, blah, blah. And, and then it gets really fun because at first when you’re decluttering, there’s so much stuff you have that it’s easiest to go for the easiest stuff.

But then with time you realize that I don’t, there’s things that aren’t bad, but they’re just not for me. You know, this thing, it came into my life and isn’t necessarily ugly or dirty or broken or anything. It’s just sitting here and somebody else might be really happy using it. So let it go. Allow it to go on to the next place it needs to bring blessing.

A hundred percent. And I just want to be clear to your point earlier, which was, you know, when you are decluttering it’s a process. People are really hard on themselves. They’re like, well, it doesn’t seem like it’s like a big difference or, you know, I only got, I only got rid of 5 things.

I’m like, well, that’s 5 things that we’re holding you back before. It takes time to change your habits and change yourself. Maybe you’ll be a decluttering superstar overnight, and that’s great if you are, but focus, on just the self improvement aspect of it and being in a relationship with God, like knowing that you’re letting things go for abundance to come into your life.

And by the way, when I say abundance, it doesn’t necessarily mean material objects. There are many things that are abundance in our life that are not material. There is spiritual abundance and happiness and more time, more energy. Those are things that are abundant also, or can be abundant.

And Most of the time when we have too much stuff, those resources get sucked out of us because we’re focused on the stuff all the time. So, spiritual endeavors or things that we do with our family, like, to make us happy end up becoming really stressful because we’re focused on the stuff. And we lose track of being in that minute where it’s like, wow, this is a really great minute.

Because we’re focused on what isn’t right with the physical aspect of things. So it’s a journey. And it’s a process and you have to be kind to yourself throughout the process. I mean, one of the things we say is no negative self talk, right? Like you can’t say bad things about yourself. Did you hit it out of the park?

Did you get a home run on your first try? No, but maybe you got the first base. That’s great. You know, you don’t have to hit a home run every time, just little steps, little progress or that’s good too.

I love this conversation. I want everybody to know where they can find you, how they can work with you.

I obviously highly recommend it. I’ve been telling all my friends and all my clients about you and your membership because it’s really, it’s really great. It’s really great. I don’t like to put out products that I don’t think will push people over the finish line because I don’t want to waste your money and I don’t want to waste your time. I really stand behind my product and believe in it.

Is it for everybody? No if it doesn’t work for you, that’s okay. You know, there’s somebody else who will work for you, but if you do want to work with me, you can add to balaganbegon. com and you can request a free trial session for the Journey to Organization for a Tidied Together session there if you want to try to work with me, and if you want you can check out my book on Amazon, Organized Jewish Life. I have Organized Jewish Life Shabbat and Holiday Planner and two other planners there that are also on Amazon.

Yeah. That’s very cool. Thank you so much for being with us. Thank you. And I’m so excited you spoke about organizing and your business and systems and automations, and that’s coming in two weeks because Tamima is coming and she is amazing. So that’s Oh yeah. Don’t miss, miss Tam’s. Great. Yeah. Don’t miss her.

She’s great. So thank you and make sure you come back next week for another episode, and don’t forget to be connected for real.

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Can you share it with them? I am Robinson Bat chen Grossman from connectedforreal. com. Thank you so much for listening and don’t forget you can be connected for real.