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In This Episode
God crafted us all beautifully inside the womb into unique individuals. For over 10 years, Deneen Troupe-Buitrago has been working with Christian business women create God-centered businesses that embraces their uniqueness and glorifies Him at the same time. The masterpiece that is our life that contains our personality, strengths, values, experiences, and skills, are infused by God to help us in our business and marriage. Deneen TB shares what she teaches her clients about aligning with God and responding to His call.
Highlights
00:56 Deneen Troupe-Buitrago is a Christian business coach, growth strategist, a clarity coach. She has been working with Christian business women for over 10 years first to help them create God-centered businesses based on how He has designed them.
02:58 We are created as a masterpiece, which Deneen calls the mosaic masterpiece model. God infuses our personality, strengths, values, talents and experiences to create a new mosaic, which can be transformed into something bright and beautiful.
05:30 Rebbetzin Bat-Chen reminds us to work smarter, not harder. We need to give ourselves breaks to focus on our plans. When you have direction towards your goals and simplify what you’re doing, you really understand each step and move to the next with ease.
08:12 We are called to serve who’s in our circle. The people we see monthly, weekly, and daily are those that we should be focusing on. God will brings those people to us when we have the right message.
14:23 Business can affect marriage if your spouse is not involved in what you’re doing. Deneen and her husband work together, if not all the time, on projects, and this has brought them closer together.
18:00 Rebbetzin Bat-Chen wrote her goal of being a guest on several podcasts. Her dream came true when she was featured on Yael Trusch’s Jewish Money Matters Podcast. Listen to it here!
18:36 God always has a plan for us. As long as we stay aligned with Him, we are going to go in the right direction.
24:23 Not everyone is called to do business, but for those who are, God is shaping your character through my business, which is not about money but transforming yourself and those around you.
26:58 People find it difficult to invest on skills, coaches, and mentors, but money and people are brought into your life by God to show you how and what to do with it/them.
39:08 It can be scary to invest in the beginning but there are also free resources you can use to kick off your passion.
42:51 Deneen shares one of her free tools, the Super 8 Day.
47:32 Open communication with your husband about your business and including him so that they don’t feel left out or disrespected contributes to your family.
Links
Deneen TB: Website | YouTube | LinkedIn | Facebook | Instagram | Pinterest
Christian Women Entrepreneurs & Business Owners Network Facebook Group
Super 8 Day by Deneen TB
5 Surprising Ways to Improve Your Marriage
Marriage Breakthrough Retreat
Let’s Connect!
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For more information about Connected for Real, visit the website!
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REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
Welcome to the Connected For Real Podcast! I’m Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman, a marriage coach for women in business, and my mission is to bring God’s presence into your life, into your marriage, and into your business. Let’s get started. The following is one of the many conversations I had with experts and professionals about real life and how it affects marriage. Let me know your takeaways on Instagram or Facebook, @connectedforreal. Enjoy.
And we are live. Welcome everyone to the Connected for Real Podcast. I am Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman, a marriage coach for women in business, and I have Deneen today and she is awesome. Go introduce yourself. Tell us what you’re all about.
DENEEN TB
So, hi. My name is Deneen TB, and I say that because my last name is unpronounceable to most people even when they practice, so I don’t use it when I’m on lives or on anything— because my husband’s Hispanic so I added his name because when you are in the Hispanic culture, you become of your husband so my name would be Deneen Troupe de Buitrago, but I just hyphenated it, kind of Americanized it and everybody—and then I make jokes like I’m a women’s liberer and but it’s not true. [Laughs] But it’s to honor his traditions. Anyway, I am a Christian business coach. I’m a growth strategist, really, and a clarity coach. I have been working with Christian business women for over 10 years first in networking and now in coaching to help them really create God-centered businesses based on how He has designed them because, of course, we are all crafted beautifully inside the womb and we’re all unique individuals and we can have a business that represents that. That is energizing to us and really can glorify Him at the same time.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN
I love that. So when you say unique, get a little bit more into that. Are you talking like strengths and weaknesses, personality traits things like that?
DENEEN TB
Yes. So, I am a teacher by trade. So, I was went into the teaching profession and I was a teacher for about 10 years and I loved personality profiling and all of those things to help my students really learn well, then I transitioned into homeschooling my own two children and helping other homeschoolers in all various areas but mainly with second language learning. I speak Spanish. Obviously, my husband’s Latino. So I did that as well. So, when I brought it into what I do now—because for me God just didn’t give me this big vision of what my business was going to look like. I stepped into the next thing. I said, “I trust God. I’m going to step into the next thing that I feel is the next step in what I’m being impressed upon to do.”
I love Christian. I love business women. I just love them because I love the way they think and I didn’t find those types of women in the teaching profession. At first I thought, “Oh, maybe I did the wrong thing. What was this, God?” “But I’m a teacher.” “So what? I want to show them now,” and what I can bring from all those things that I’ve done in my life is what I bring into my business as a coach—is what I call a mosaic masterpiece model because we are created as a masterpiece. God doesn’t just make us all like stamps. We all are unique and we can take these pieces of our life, which can be your personality, your strengths, your values, but they can also be things like the talents that are innate in you and, just your experiences that God has allowed in your life, your expertise—because you may have an expertise that is a certificate or a degree but you might have one that you’ve just done something over and over and over again and you’re an expert—and of course we have our spiritual gifts that are just infused by God on us to show up when we need them. So, I say we can pull all these pieces and we can create a new mosaic and it doesn’t matter if there are parts of your life that are hard, kind of ugly, because God—what He does, I kind of I liken it to He takes all those broken pieces that make up a mosaic, and he puts them in a tumbler and he cleans them up and he transforms them into something bright and beautiful that even if you look closely at each piece, it might still look ugly but when you step back from a mosaic, you see the new thing that it creates, and I love that He’s given me this kind of word picture to be able to pull what I do together.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN
That’s so cool. So yeah, one time, I was at this really fun class. We did a lot of art therapy type things, and one time, we were learning about how God works in mysterious ways and all these different things, and we had to draw two different things. One was draw a really beautiful picture and then add black on top of it and the other one was use black as part of the picture, and obviously, when you use black to guide the other colors and everything sort of works together, it comes out beautiful and if you come afterwards, and just scribble black on something beautiful—so it was just to illustrate how you were calling them the ugly parts but really, everything works together to make that pretty picture because it was pre-determined and pre-thought and everything is so aligned. So, I love that you say that.
Let’s get into how we can work smarter not harder. When you’re aligned, because I do that a lot with my group and I want to hear how you do it and what do you think about it.
DENEEN TB
I think that one of the things that I know that happens to women is that we do have so many different directions that we’re going in and we feel like we need to do all the things all at the same time. I think that we need to give ourselves a break and we need to get a focus, and I think when we’re working smarter is because we have taken the time to have a focus to go in one direction, to create a plan and we don’t need to, like I call it, throwing spaghetti at the wall—I don’t know if you’ve ever done that but you throw it at the wall and if it sticks—“Oh, maybe that’s going to work,” but the thing is is that you’ve got to do it again and again and again and again. What is beautiful about having a focus, a direction, really simplifying what you’re doing and not trying to do all the things, is that you really understand the next step because you’re staying.
I loved your illustration about the black over the top because sometimes, we go and do all our plans and then we say, “Okay, God, please bless all the plans I just made,” but that’s the wrong direction. We gotta turn it around and say, “Okay, God, what do you want me to do?” Start there in prayer. I do a lot of journaling. What do you want me to do? What is the impression I get from you? What are you telling me in Your word that I need to follow? And it’s not that we have some responsibilities, especially if we have young children and all. We can’t do as much as we think we can do. We’re not supposed to neglect this part of our life because we feel some kind of calling or inclination to go into business. So, if we can simplify and say, “This is how much I can do,” if we can have a focus, if we can have a direction, that’s going to help you to work smarter not harder.
I don’t mean God promises us rest. I mean, he models it for us in creation. We are to take a rest and I talk about Sabbath a lot and I know it’s not the same Sabbath as you have but I talk about taking 24 hours off, an hour day off every single week and I start mine on Saturday evening through Sunday evening, and I say to my women, “Do you trust God enough to take a day off from your business? From your work?” I mean seriously if He modeled it for us way back there, it wasn’t because he needed a rest it’s because He knew His creation needed to rest and I know that for me, I come back with better ideas, more creativity, after that time off and just not thinking about that kind of stuff.
It’s like this. I think what we do as women, it’s like we want to help so many people but it’s like having a big lake and you’re making a little splash over here and a little splash here and a little splash here. You’re not really making the impact that you could make with a focus, with a direction, and it’s like scooping up all the water and pulling it down into one thing and really having an impact on those people that you are called to serve in your sphere of influence. We’re not called—all of us are called to serve the millions, the masses. We’re called to serve who’s in our circle here, who’s in—who do we see daily, weekly, monthly. Those are the people that we should be focusing on and God will bring those people to you if you got the right message.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN
I love that. I love that you brought rest into it because it’s so counterintuitive. We think, “You want to succeed? You got to do it. You got to work. You got to move,” and it’s like, “You want to succeed? Stop. Pause.”
Stop everything you’re doing—just don’t do anything and it’s like, “Uh, no.” But yes, so we have Sabbath also. Ours is Friday night to Saturday night, and this year, we also have the Shemitah, which is the seventh year. So there’s a seven year cycle and the land has to rest. So, we have a lot of laws, and it’s a beautiful experience, actually. It only happens in Israel, so people who are living outside of Israel don’t have those laws but the lands of Israel has to rest and so you’re not allowed to work it and you have to just let things grow on their own and let the land rest and stop putting in more and more, trying to get more out of the land. You’re constantly reaping and constantly sowing and rot, constantly, putting in the seeds—stop. Just stop once every seven years, and I know that teachers take a sabbatical, which makes total sense every seven years or so. Yeah, I love that—my baby’s talking. I love that my coach says that she takes every eighth week off. She actually schedules it into her into her program that the entire company shuts down.
DENEEN TB
That is a really great idea, actually. I run on an eight week cycle as well, and so I do all my goals and planning for every eight weeks. I tried to do what the gurus say and do a whole quarter, but as a wife, mother, woman, it just never worked out in that last four weeks, but I love that idea of actually taking a week off. I know my business partner and I, we’ve scheduled in some actual vacations this coming year that we didn’t do this past year. We would take some days off but we actually scheduled it so it’s part of that—is looking forward to that as well.
I know for me, every week, I have certain things that I actually save to do on my Sabbath that I can look forward to, whether it’s reading a book or spending time with a family member or just taking [an] extra-long walks or whatever it is—something that I know is going to rejuvenate me.
I love the principles that are in the Old Testament because of the fact that God knew the cycles. He knew how He created it and He knew that the land even needed to rest so that it could replenish itself, and we need to rest even more often because we need to replenish. I would challenge anyone that’s listening to go ahead, and I don’t care if you pick it on a Wednesday, just to pick a 24-hour period every week and just stop and do something different. Don’t think about your business. I know if you don’t even want to cook, plan that out, whatever it is you want to do and watch what happens because my experience has been, when I start on Monday morning that I saved that time period on Monday mornings for my writing time, whether I’m writing a script for a YouTube or I’m writing for my books—I have one book I’m getting ready to write another one—I have so many ideas and I just get so many things down and I will just tell you, you will be more creative and you will get to the place where you’re like, “I can’t wait till Sabbath starts because I need it.” It’s kind of thing— [Laughs]
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN
Yeah, so for us it’s actually also no phones, no social media, everything shuts down. You are forced to pause.
DENEEN TB
Yeah, I don’t go on Facebook or anything on my Sabbath. I totally don’t do anything to look over.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN
Yeah, such a blessing. It’s such a blessing.
DENEEN TB
It is and as a Christian, a lot of people don’t do that, and they just think that they get up and they go to church then that they’ve done their thing for whatever religious thing they think they need to do, but we’re not just following traditions of some religion. We are following what the Bible tells us, and if God has laid this out for us, then we can trust that whatever needs to happen will happen in His timing and we just need to trust Him, and this is our way of saying, “Okay, God. I’m surrendering my business, my life, my actions, my emotions, my everything. This is my weekly surrender. We already do it daily but this is my weekly—I do trust You.” I’ve done it for probably almost 10 years now and it’s just something and my kids and my husband, they say this thing. They’re like, “Oh, mom’s on Sabbath. You can tell she’s not doing anything.”
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN
Something that hit me one time, a long time [ago] in the beginning, of my business was when I said, “But I don’t have time,” and then I stopped myself and I was like, “Who created time? Who gave you the time? Let’s start from the basics.” We think we own time. We think time is ours, and we have the ability to control time. We have nothing and that makes me so much more calm about doing the things I have to do because time is gonna have to work itself out. If I’m doing the things in the aligned way, things are gonna work out.
So let’s talk about marriage because this podcast is all about how everything affects marriage. You’re talking about business. So I think it’s perfect to talk about how your business affects marriage, especially when it’s aligned.
DENEEN TB
Yeah, so for me, my husband, he is an engineer. So, he’s been going to work for years and then he’s been home for the last almost two years. He came home in March of 2020 to work from home, which is where I work. I work from home. I used to be very local. So, I used to go out and about, and I will tell you, I had a networking group for eight years and every third Thursday of the month, my husband would be, “Where are you going?” So, I mean he never remembered where I was going. I’m like, “I’ve been doing this for eight years, and what do you mean where am I going? It’s [the] third Thursday of the month.” So, for a lot of time that I was working on stuff, he had his job. He went to work. We had her home life he kind of didn’t know what I was doing, and it was okay. I’m an independent kind of woman and everything like that, but since he’s come home, it’s really hit home for me how much that he was disconnected from what I was doing and I really wanted him to be a part of that. Over this last year, and so I just went to God with it like, “How can I have him be part of this?” Because before, I would be like, “This is my job and my money and my bit,” and that was the wrong attitude. So, this year my husband has been helping me at the end of each month. We’re actually doing the financials, the in and out, and all that stuff, so he’s actually seeing what’s happening in my business in that kind of respect, and I was thinking how could I get him involved, where would it be a good fit for him so that I could involve him more, and so finances, for me was kind of my weakest thing. I wasn’t keeping his track of it as well as I could, so for me, it has affected the marriage in that—well, one that he’s home 24/7, which I don’t know if that’s good or bad but—
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN
It is good to see that people can relate. It is difficult to share the same physical space.
DENEEN TB
For a long time, I would say, “Oh yeah, I love being with Carlos 24/7,” but now that it’s been a real thing, it’s like that used to be a two-week stint or something like that.
One of the things my husband and I did realize about one another is that we feel the closest to one another when we are actually working on a project together. So, we’ve been on different mission trips, because we do speak Spanish, so we’ve gone with our teenagers at our church to South America and we always came back thinking we really enjoyed working together and that’s when we feel the closest—that when we have a project together to do. So, we’re pretty close to retirement. So, I don’t know what that’s going to look like in retirement but we’ll see what God opens up for us. [Laughs]
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN
Yes. I like what that you said that you sort of leaned into one step and then the next step and the next step because you can’t really know the whole road before you step into this type of work. I don’t think any of us know where we’re going. It’s like, I could plan for a big picture of what I think I want but really, if I would have known that this is what I’m doing last year, I’d be like, “Whoa! Really? That’s cool,” because there’s just so much more that God wants to give us and spill on us that we’re even aware we’re capable of holding because we’re just so behind. It’s just pretty amazing.
I just I had an interview in one of my favorite podcasts. The name of the podcast that was the top of my list of like oh, I’ll never get there but if I could, I would interview there, and I actually had it two weeks ago and I was just sitting there like, “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. It actually happened. How did that happen?” and it’s like, what nine months before I wrote it down on a list of ideal podcasts to be a guest on and the ones that are your level, the ones that are above you, the ones that are never but I wish it happens because you’re not really in control.
DENEEN TB
Exactly and when I was writing my first book back in 2017, that was something that I had planned as well. I was—and I think what you said it’s really important, to write out these things because if we don’t, it stays as a swirl in our heads instead of being in front of our eyes where we can be reminded and I remember thinking, while I’m writing this book, I should reach out to podcasts I should reach out to other writers who’ve written in this topic, and this this thing, my year of my word for the year that year was daring and it was something that was actually really daring for me to connect with other authors that had covered women in the Bible, because I was covering women in the Bible. It was to just see who the podcasts were that were out there, and getting on my book wasn’t even written and I was on a podcast talking about this book that wasn’t even published yet, but yeah it’s so true—that physical write it out then do the research it’s not like I don’t ever believe that if I just say it then I’m just gonna sit back on my hands and because God’s gonna give it to me because there are pathways, there are things, and yes, they will work out because God also has that plan for me and as I stay aligned with Him, my mind is His mind, and I’m going to go in the right direction. I’m not going to be in the total opposite direction. So—
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN
Yeah. I love that. Oh, I think there’s a big factor of trust. When you trust that I have no idea where this is going but it feels really aligned, then you’re really guided.
Oh, definitely. Definitely.
When I first got into this, when I first started, I gotten out of teaching and my husband and I had planned—we were training to be missionaries and that didn’t work out. God had another plan but my daughter was getting ready to go to college and I was like, “Oh, I hadn’t worked for a couple of years,” and I didn’t want to go back to teaching Spanish, so I tried to go back to just the classroom and I only lasted at that job for like two weeks. I know why it was my idea. It was something I knew how to do and God had a different idea because I remember coming home in the car that day praying to God, “What am I supposed to do now? I need to make some money. I can’t ever go to college and not even just be able to pay some for some books or whatever.” I always felt like I needed to contribute to the family and my previous teaching had always contributed to piano lessons and dance lessons and those kinds of things, so this never has happened to me since before, but this thought came into my head, and I don’t know if it was God or whatever, but it was that my sister did this this direct selling company and I literally out loud said so, “God, what does that mean? I don’t care,” but I got into business. It took me four months to wrestle with God about this because I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to do it because I was like, “A sales job—parties—what? I don’t want to do that.” I did. I went in. I did it really well, but that was the beginning of the taking these steps because like I said, I didn’t know that I loved business women and so I remember I was in for maybe a year, year and a half, to this company and I had already changed it up. I was already making workshops because the teacher in me comes out and I just don’t want to do these parties. I’m going to do workshops. I’m going to teach this. I’m going to do that and I really went to the Lord and I said, “You know, I’m tired of all these women telling me that they have to call their husbands to spend 40% at my party. Who has their own money?” and I was like Christian business women they have their own because I was selling Christian products. They had verses on them, whether they’re from the Old or New testament—the products for their home and I was like, “That’s what I need to do,” and so I started my networking group solely as a marketing thing because I wanted to be in front of my ideal clients, my audience.
I remember at one point before I started my networking group, getting this overwhelming feeling of Deneen, you’re walking into something bigger and I almost felt like I was on the edge of a cliff as big as a canyon in front of me, like the Grand Canyon, and I remember standing there feeling like I was standing there going, “Okay, God. What am I supposed to do with this overwhelming feeling?” It wasn’t a vision, really. It was just like I knew something bigger was going to happen and I was like, “What am I supposed to throw myself off of here? What is am I supposed to do?” and again, God says, “Do you trust me take the first step?” and when you take that first step, and when we’re starting something, that first step is the most the most the biggest. It’s like the most pressure you don’t know you, and I remember finally taking that step and feeling like God’s stepping stone was just right there under me. As I have followed this journey, like I said through the last eight to ten years it has been almost like I can run across that vast expanse and know that when my foot hits that stepping stone is going to be there, and it’s just a wonderful freeing feeling that it doesn’t matter what happens God has got it, and even if it doesn’t work out the way I expect it to work out, which I’ve had a lot of things not work out the way I expected, I learned something. God showed me something because I believe that God is molding my character through having a business. Now, He uses different things in different people’s lives.
Earlier in my life, He used something very physical and now He’s using this and the women that I work with. I know that God is shaping their character through the ups and downs of entrepreneurship.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN
What you said that I really enjoyed—He’s shaping my character or something like that. What did you say?
DENEEN TB
Yep. He’s shaping my character through my business—with my business.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN
So, this is something that I talk about a lot because it’s just so important. People think I’m in business to make money. I’m in business to whatever but you’re in business to transform to the inner transformation and if you’re not in business, by the way you’re getting this from your parenting and your marriage and whatever else you’re doing is going on in your life because life is here with mirrors all around you, showing you where you need to work and how you need to transform and where you need to be, but business is gonna really push you, especially if you’re an entrepreneur and you have to figure this all out yourself and you have nobody else to fall back on and say “Oh, He’ll take care of that. I have no idea how to do that.” We can’t do that. We have to keep figuring things out.
DENEEN TB
And I teach this. I believe it. I teach it. God brings those resources whether they be people, programs, books, podcasts, whatever it is, He will bring the resources that you need because as an entrepreneur, yes, He has equipped you to do what He’s asking you to do but at the same time, we just don’t know and he’s going to bring those people alongside of us to help us along the way, to get to where he wants us to go and that sometimes means we have to spend some money and invest in coaches or mentors and things like that.
I always say when I first got started, I felt like all the books at the library were just falling off the shelf at me and because I wanted to learn so much, and I just felt like everything I needed to learn kept coming in front of me, in front of me, in front of me, so God will put that in your path and it’s up to us to discern that. That’s another part of staying aligned with Him is that we will have that discernment because I don’t think when you get to this place in your life where you’re following God, it’s not that we have a choice between what’s good and what’s bad. What we have a choice of is this is good and this is good and this is good but what is really the best or the better that God wants for you and that’s our discernment piece. It’s not like, “Oh, are we gonna sin? Are we not gonna—” That’s not where we’re at. We are at the place where we have to really discern good, good, and better, and the enemy’s gonna bring up the stuff and go but you can do this because how to do this. You’re talented. “Yeah, but it’s gonna distract me from what God really wants me to do even though it’s good,” so—
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN
Go back to—let’s double tap on that. You’re going to have to spend money—because I find that a lot of people have a very hard time spending money on the things that are going to get them to the next level and I know I had this because raising a growing family and having very low income, and you’re trying to put this all together and you’re like, “I can’t spend. I have to make—” that’s the point. I’m here to make the money because we need to live on it and the first time I invested in myself and in my business, my business skyrocketed and the investment came in three times— three times the amount I paid within very short amount of time and then when I invested again. Again, it doubled itself, so I personally feel really strongly about investing in it also because it’s not really your money. It’s money that God has brought into your life in order to show you how to use it and what to do with it. So, let’s talk about that a little bit. I think it’s really important. People have a hard time with that.
DENEEN TB
So, we really are the stewards with the d—the stewards of anything that comes in God. Whatever gift God gives us monetarily, relationship wise, whatever, we are to do our best with it, and we are to use the gifts that He’s given us. For some of us, that means business.
Yes, a lot of people will try to get all the free stuff that they can but free only takes you so far. I’m like, “Yeah, go to YouTube University,” and learn all of those transactional types of things. You can learn how to make a sales copy, you can learn how to create a course, you can learn how to whatever and grow an email list. Those are all very transactional type of things. What you want to do when you invest is really look for something that’s going to be that transformation. It’s going to take you from where you’re stuck. I call it the pain to the gain and you’re right. If we don’t invest, if we don’t go towards people who have been there already, who are a little bit further ahead of us, then we aren’t gonna get anywhere. We’re gonna do that.
What’s the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again, and you’re just not gonna get anywhere and that’s the part of investing. Once you’ve exhausted all of that free stuff, you still will not have a transformation that you need you need to go to someone who has thought this through already, been there already, done that my own, coaching. I tell people exactly what to do and they still don’t trust me, and I’m like, “Do you see how many people are coming into this this community that we have?” That’s because I’m doing exactly what I’m telling you to do so if you want people in your community. There’s that social proof. So, I would say, yes, there are programs out there. There are coaches out there that you will not get what you pay for but be discerning. Ask God if you’re bringing these people in front of me then point me to the right person. Point me here. Let me hear the person that is right for me so that I can get to the next level. But yes, if we’re not willing to invest, you will not change. Nothing will change because you can’t learn anything new unless you have some of that rapport with someone. It’s that you let someone help explain things to you, be able to ask questions, and you know, coaches and mentors, their time is worth it, not just because they know a little bit more than you but also because at least for me, I’m willing to be in the thick of it with you and figure it out with you kind of thing. So, yeah. I think that yes, we know we don’t—when we have a budget, we need to be really cognizant of that and honor the fact that we’re taking maybe money from our family. Maybe we need to budget that out, wait a little bit, or find a coach that’s willing to give you a payment plan that you can actually work with. I know God’s called me to do that. It is called me when I feel it’s the right person. I have a price. I don’t make the price go down but I get I want to work with a person I feel that God’s impressing on me, that this person needs you let’s get them in, and so you can find coaches and mentors and programs like that.
Just keep looking for what will be helpful to you. I’ve had people on my Clarity Calls, which are my discovery calls, say, “You know, I just don’t have any money right now and I don’t know how I can afford this,” and I actually can go down like what they’re spending on and I’m like, “We’ll get rid of this—get rid of this—get rid of this—and then you’ll have $300 a month.” sometimes in business, we’ve taken so much of what everybody tells us that we are—what I say is like we’re spending $50 over here to be on this scheduler and we’re spending $55 over here to be on this. I had someone the other day tell me that they paid for LinkedIn and I’m like, “No, no, no.”
So, don’t get all the advice of everyone. Find someone who’s there and get their advice because everybody will have something different and also, what is the focus? If the focus is—yes, we want to make money with our business, but if our business is only focused on trying to make the six figures or the seven or the eight figures or the five figures a month or whatever it is, that’s not God that’s not what God wants. God’s gonna take care of you. Does that mean you need to make a million dollars this year? Probably not. What is it that we’re supposed to do? Well, we’re supposed to have an impact to make someone else’s life better their pain, help them to their game. We got the zero to hero story. We’re the hero of our own story and we want to transform people to get from where they’re stuck to where they’re really flourishing, and that’s what we need to [do]. Invest in that and that’s going to be a higher investment too because of the fact that it’s not just giving you one thing. Like, here’s how to grow your email list and I used to do that. I had workshops for everything. I was 100 dollar-ing myself to death and running myself ragged because I would have this social media workshop over here and this procrastination workshop over here and no focus direction—you make more money, you earn more money, and then you can invest more money. It’s never over. If you’re an entrepreneur, you can never stop learning.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN
Right, right. So, I have a very interesting twist on it. I want to add to what you’re saying because it’s not separate, it’s not different, but it’s just another layer. When I was signing up for the coaching program that I’m in, that was already almost a year ago, and I one time—I won’t forget this. I was standing in prayer and I said to God, “I haven’t been fair. I don’t think I’ve been clear. I keep asking for abundance. I keep asking for You to guide me and show me but I’m not being specific. I need you to tell me exactly where to go, who to turn to, and what to do.” Very specific—“And these are the results I want so that You can show me that this is the right direction. If somebody says this exact, the exact words, I’m gonna know.” I ended [like] that and maybe half a day later, I get a message from a friend, “Hey, look there’s this freebie thing that I think you’d like,” so I signed up and forgot about it and then I suddenly got a message from the person who’s running the freebie like, “Hey! What’s up? I want to hear more about your business. How can I help you?” So we got into this conversation, and by this was on Sunday. I prayed on Tuesday. I met with her on Zoom on Friday. I already bought the program.
Now, the crazy thing is that I did not have the money for the program. It was a really expensive program but then I went back to God between those days. I’m watching, listening. I’m like, “Okay, how do I make this work? God, if this is what you want me to do, show me how,” because just like he sent me the right person, he’s going to show me where the money needs to come from. He’s going to show me what I need to do. He’s going to show me if this makes sense or not. It has to all work out together. It’s not like he sent you one thing and now you’ll go figure it out yourself. He’s still there with you holding your hand, showing you through, so it is amazing when people actually get really, really clear.
I have a Mastermind where one of the ladies—once her husband said, “This is what I really want,” and really thinking that. I’m going to do it and he says to her, “How are we going to pay for this and she said I have no idea but Bat-Chen said to ask God how he wants to pay for this?” and He’ll show us. The craziest thing happened the next day. They get an email from a lady who owed her money. “Here’s a part of the money I owe you,” and the money just went into the account so poof. We think it’s magic but in reality, it’s you asking and looking out for the answer and being really, really awake because you can’t fall asleep on the job. you can’t be like, “Well I asked now I don’t know what else to do.” No.
DENEEN TB
Exactly. I mean, I love what you said because you actually put out Gideon’s fleece. So you put out the fleece and you said, “Okay. I need a concrete answer from You,” and I think that when we are the most—not desperate. I don’t want to say desperate but when it’s on our heart and it’s pulling at us, that those putting out a fleece like that and saying, “God, I need you to show me exactly because I can’t figure it out and I don’t want to figure it out,” that’s totally appropriate. That’s totally what we need to do and the same thing—I know that I’ve had people that said the same thing, I said, “Go. Let’s follow up with a call. You go talk to God and see how you can afford this because you do need this,” and I’ve had people walk away because they haven’t really listened to God. I can tell by what they would say. They get scared, they’re coming at it in fear, and I can hear that in the words of their choosing and those kinds of things.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN
But I also want to tell you it’s okay if the answer is no right now—not right now or it’s not the right time or that’s not the right person for you. Those things are all great. I, as the coach, I’m very respectful when they say it’s just really not working out and I don’t think that I can fight this. Like, “I keep fighting into the wall,” feeling like, “This isn’t the right thing even though I really want it,” and I’m really happy because it means they’re actually doing the work right.
DENEEN TB
That’s true too. That’s the other side. I love that. I love that. Yeah, I mean and like I said, God’s really called me to help work with people so that they can get in because they’ve been so—I guess other coaches, they haven’t worked out well for them—whatever. They know that they need it and they want it and sometimes it’s up to me as the coach to be that discerning with God saying, “Okay, let this person come in for what they can afford, what they feel like they can afford,” plus, I also know that the coaching that they’re going to come into with me, and you might feel the same way, I know that they’re going to make the money to pay me so maybe I don’t need the money all up front, maybe—because I do trust the process that I’m doing and I do have those kinds of agreements with people because I know that what I teach them and if they put it into practice that they will make enough money to pay me, so I’m not worried about that. If I really feel that God’s pushing me on my side as the coach.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN
Luisa said the client has to be ready.
DENEEN TB
And that’s true but what’s stopping them is the fact that it may be that first time that they’re investing money and there’s still that fear there and I think that sometimes the enemy does that, uses all of our own natural fears, obviously to thwart us to what God is spurring us to do and so we really do have to discern and if I can be the person that gets them over that then that’s part of my responsibility.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN
I think that it really helped me with my fear of actually jumping in the water because it’s scary in the beginning—you’re like, “I’m gonna invest money in my own growth now.” So I think of it as steps. So, just like I want to, let’s say, add some a bedroom to my house so that my kids have more room, first I have to get the architect that costs less than actually building the thing. So let’s just take the first step or let’s just look out for—so what I did I said. I’m not buying anything but now I’m in the lookout for who the person I would buy if I had the money and that was my first coach. I hired a money mindset coach for six months because I was open to finding who is right for me so I was following all these different people and really loving all of them and listening to all the things they had to say. I learned a lot really because you said free stuff is going to get you this far so use it up. Use that free stuff because that’s going to get you this far and eventually when you’re ready, then it’s going to be so obvious. It’s going to be so easy because you’re not going to have to start looking. You’re already ready. You already know who you like, you already know what they’re talking about, you already feel the trust in that person that they’re going to be able to help you. So something free to do is just start following people, start looking, start listening.
DENEEN TB
Definitely. I always tease I have 14 different lead magnets or freebies. I have all these different things and it’s like, “Why do you have so many?” and I don’t say everyone should have them but if I I’m a teacher—so every time I want to teach something, I want to give you a tool. We just had a round table in my Facebook Group this past month and one of the women that was—they are all my clients and one of the women that was with us, that’s what she said. Jennifer goes, “I got all your free stuff. I watched you for a really long time,” so if you are in business as a coach, people are watching you and you just need to continue to have a consistent message because you don’t want to be wishy-washy and that comes again with that focus and the direction and not be wishy-washy and say, “This week, I’m talking about this, and the next week I’m talking about this.” You’re going to confuse people because they do. That sales cycle is the awareness of you, like who you are and you’re coming from the other side. Now you’re looking for somebody. So those you need to as a person, think how are they looking for me? Well, they have to be aware of what I do and who I am and why I might be—why I’m credentialed enough to be their person then you get into that consideration phase, when you are inviting them to like lives, like this, or you’re inviting them to a master class or just to get a lead magnet from you because you have something that a small solution for them, that’s going to get them to their decision about you and as a person who’s looking for that next level in their business. Those are the things that you need to be really aware of. Is the message consistent? Do they show up the same way all the time, and is it a message that is clicking with you? Like, Is it, “Oh my word, she’s in my head. That’s exactly what I’m saying.” Are you hitting those pain points so that people know that you can help them from their pain to their gain? Yeah. Lisa [comments]: Clients have watched me for months. I’ve had people say I’ve been on your email list for two years.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN
I have people say I live in their head. They hear my voice telling them what to do like, “Listen to me all the time.”
DENEEN TB
I have a couple of people that tell me, “God told me that you were my person.” I’m like, “Okay, that’s kind of scary but that’s okay,” but whatever they need to get to the right person.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN
I love that. I love that. So, I remember you said one of your freebies is the eight things to do and then be done.
DENEEN TB
So my super eight day, so the super eight day—it’s part of my whole way that I do my goal setting and my action steps. So there’s eight goal areas, there are eight weeks and then the last is the eight things a day because they build towards your each week, getting your things done and then ultimately to the goal. So, there are four areas and they are two items that are income producing for you, two items that are business maintenance for you, two items that are relationship building which is can be personal or professional, and two things that are self-care every single day. Self-care, meaning, get sleep, eat. I’m not talking about taking a bubble bath. I’m talking about basic things that you need to take care of yourself because what women do is—I liken us to a three-tiered fountain and a three-tiered fountain, it bubbles up from the top, that small cup and then it pours over to the other parts. Well, we’re actually—that’s us. That’s us. You are the small cup and if you’re not filling up on God, filling up on good things, you are not going to overflow to the other parts of your life, that second tier, your family, your business because it’s your responsibility to your family then all the volunteer stuff. What we do though is we turn it upside down and we think we can go do all the stuff outside of our homes first and the community stuff and the church stuff and whatever it is, and then we take care of our family, and then we take care of ourselves. No. Turn it up and that’s what the Super Eight does. It, really, as an entrepreneur, it allows you to stop for the day because if you do at least these eight things every day, you have done enough to make your business move forward believe it or not, and as you get more and more used to it and it becomes more of a habit then you can actually fit in some other things. I have a couple of videos on YouTube as well. That one’s about the Super Eight Day and how that works and I have it on my website.
You just go to Deneen TB—the T and the B are my last name but they’re also truth and business and then that’s kind of the name of my show, but my channel is Deneen TB and you can go to my website and just go look under resources and I’ve got all those freebies and you’ll see Super Eight Day but it’s just a way for you to really focus on am I doing things that are income producing and in every industry, they’re different so there’s a place to brainstorm all of those things. Am I doing business maintenance because we need to schedule our social media and do our books and all of those kinds of things. Are we building relationships every single day? I always say you have to reach out to five people at least every single day and touch base with them. It used to take seven touches to get a client. It takes four times that, at least 28 times of touching someone and that doesn’t mean that you’re gonna have necessarily a conversation but maybe it’s sending an email inviting them to a master class and putting a post out that they respond to and you go into a private conversation, just something that you’re touching people, and then we have to take care of ourselves. I liken our self-care is to really creating the routine of your day and of your life that fits for you so that you can do the things that God is asking you to do without feeling the pull, the stress, the pain because that’s not where God wants us.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN
I love that. I love that and ironically you put self-care last. I would have put it first.
DENEEN TB
They’re just the fourth thing. It’s the first thing that I think. I personally have to do self-care first. I have been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis for 20 years, so that is so important to me but again it’s not about the indulgence of I’m going to go have—I do have a massage every three weeks but that’s part of my self-care, but it’s not that bubble bath, having chocolate, drinking champagne or whatever people think self-care is. It is actually getting enough sleep, drinking water, getting up from my chair every hour, moving my body, exercise, walking, those kinds of things so that is very much the forefront of everything that I do.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN
I love that. I love that. So now I want to ask you about your clients. Do you see that there’s a pull between growing your business and being afraid that when the business grows? It will sort of tip the scale on the balance that is in the home. I mean, those are the people I help, people who have a good marriage and they want the marriage to stay good and they believe that if they succeed too much—if I become too successful, if I make too much money then everything is going to throw out of balance and it’s going to pay a price, and we end up holding ourselves back from growing because we’re so afraid this is a really important priority for us. Our marriage is our most important thing. So to give that up for business is really not what we’re here for. How do you deal with that?
DENEEN TB
I think that one of the things that, like I said earlier that bringing your husband into your business in some sort of way, whether that is sitting down and brainstorming or pulling out the three-year plan the year plan however you plan deciding those things so that could be one way it could be the finances it could be all of these different things.
I just know that since we my husband and I have done this over the last year just the other day we were having a conversation. He was in a class about sales, because like I said he’s an engineer but now he’s kind of in the sales part of it and he said something—I go, “Oh, yeah—” Blah, blah, blah and I knew way more in but it was a great conversation and so I could pour into him and he was like, “Oh, I need to use that I need to say that when I talk to the people in the class again,” and I think that for some of us and I know I’ve seen this online as well, the big thing is, “Let’s retire our husbands. Let’s get our business so good that we can retire our husbands,” well that could be a goal. As a couple, you can make that a goal.
I know that like I said, we’re close to retirement and for me, I’m not going to stop doing this. We’re moving back to South America. We’re building an apartment and all this stuff, and I don’t know what he is exactly going to do yet but I know I’m continuing to be a coach, and what happens is my money gets to be the extra spend money. We have all of the stuff to take care of, the bills, based on what he’s done but—so I think it’s a collaborative thing and I think that’s the most important part but definitely holding yourself back because of what you think your husband might think, that right there is the pr is a problem because now you’re not communicating what is really going on you’re and I think I did that for a few years I didn’t tell my husband that I was spending money on coaches and it was because it was my money, it was my credit card for my business. I didn’t have to tell him but coming clean and telling him that kind of stuff and now I can be proud like, “I’m paying this down. It’s almost done. I’m not in debt anymore,” and being able to share that with him. I’m not hiding anymore because that is what can put a wedge in everything, so I think I think creating that, “That my business is going really well, honey. How can we work on this together? What are your thoughts about it?” All of those things. I think just being totally honest and not trying to think, “Well, he’s going to think this so therefore I shouldn’t.” That’s just the enemy trying to put a wedge in between [the two] of you. It’s not a competition.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN
I love that you found what works for you, and I just want to make sure that all the listeners know because I want to be really clear, not everything is going to work for everyone and you’re very unique as a couple. So, some people it’s going to be really fun to bring your husband into the business and for some people you actually have to take a stand and be like, “I know what I’m doing. I’m really competent. It’s really okay,” and really you don’t have to say that to him but you have to believe it because a lot of what we think is that we need him to be involved and I need him to tell me what to do, he needs to be part of the decision making and sometimes you have to get really confident and say, “I could do this. I’m on the right track. I have the right people around me. I have the right mindset. I have the right guidance from God. It’s gonna be okay,” so I have I see it from all the angles because this is my specialty, so people—
DENEEN TB
Definitely. My husband doesn’t tell me—let’s see he doesn’t understand enough of my business to tell me what we do, what to do, but he sees when I say I come downstairs and I go, “Oh, got another client,” [and] he’s like, “Wow!” So I understand that and you’re right, if God has given us this purpose to us, to be in business, then we have to remember we are equipped. How does that relate to our marriage? It relates in staying open to communicating with your husband so that they don’t feel left out, don’t feel disrespected right, and just know that if this is going to help your family then this is part of your contribution to the family, that we just need to hold that space of whatever God wants to bring in together but not to hold back or keep from because we’re afraid of something in their brain that they’re thinking that we don’t know that they’re thinking we just we need to ask them.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN
Usually it’s just what we think they think that we think they think.
DENEEN TB
We have a lot of layers.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN
That is a lot of layers but I think one of the things that, just to wrap it up, it’s really, really important to be honest with yourself and say, “This is important to me, and this is important to me.” What’s her name—Gina DeVee, she said on her podcast early on, one of her first podcast episodes was Stand for the And and it was like this and that. I don’t have to choose. I don’t have to choose between my marriage and my business. I can have both and they can work together and they can support each other and they could be aligned to what God wants and nothing has to go. This is amazing and the way you do that is by widening and opening yourself up to more room and more abundance and more the ability to contain all of that. So really, you don’t have to try to fit them into the little you right now. You can grow as your business grows and then you can hold both. So, I think that’s really beautiful.
How can people find you?
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN
Oh, yes. So I hang out on Facebook, obviously. I have a Group. It’s called Christian Women Entrepreneurs and Business Owners Network. DeneenTB.com is my website and I love LinkedIn. So, that—my whole name is over there Dineen Troupe-Buitrago. So that’s over on LinkedIn. Those are probably my best places to get to know me, and of course, my YouTube channel if you want to see more of just me talking to you on the camera. So Deneen TB on YouTube.
DENEEN TB
That’s actually how I found you—was on Facebook. I clicked on your YouTube and then I found you. So, I love that.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN
They’re all connected. My beautiful Mary, my tech person, has all my SEO done. I love it.
DENEEN TB
That’s awesome. I’m so impressed and inspired, and I just want to invite everyone who is listening to my seven day free virtual retreat connectedforeal.com/retreat. It is free. It is virtual. It’s one hour a day where you come and—on Zoom of course. It’s called the Marriage Breakthrough Retreat so we break through to the next level and make sure that your business is really you’re—not business, your marriage, is really where it can ideally be and we really get amazing results. People who come to the retreat are blown away, which is so much fun and this is going to be the last time I’m doing it live, so do not miss this one because after that, it’s not going to be the same.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN
It never is. Live is best.
DENEEN TB
But you said something really true that I think is goes along with my retreats. When I signed up for this program, I committed to four retreats and I had a baby in the middle so it was two retreats before and two retreats after the birth, and now that I’m reaching the fourth one, I was thinking am I really going to take this over to the next year, 2022 or am I done and open to new things? And that was a really difficult decision right because you’re like, “But I already got so good at doing this,” so—but I prayed on it and I think that what came to me is that I’ve perfected the retreat, fourth retreat. I am tweaking and perfecting to the point where it’s going to be just so awesome and exact and precise to what people need to hear that I don’t have to continue refining it. I could go on to the next thing so I’m opening myself to new things and I’m actually not sure what those are going to be yet, but it feels really good to be able to say this is the last time I’m doing it live. Make sure you come because it’s really worth it.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN
Yeah. Putting it on evergreen. It’s going to be an amazing thing but the iterations happened and now they’ve got the best product. I love it.
DENEEN TB
Exactly, and I like that you said, “Stay focused,” because what I used to do before is I would do one thing, it didn’t work. I did the other thing, it didn’t work. I did the third thing but here, I’m doing the same thing and then when it fails, I’m like, “Okay, how do I make a better?” “Do it again because I already committed. I can’t give up on this.” So it totally changes everything when you commit to doing something multiple times.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN
Oh, definitely, definitely.
DENEEN TB
So, connectedforreal.com/retreat, and don’t forget to go to deneentb.com. Yes, and thank you so much, everyone, all the listeners. Thank you to Louisa for commenting and being so awesome and with us. It was such a pleasure. We will see you guys next time at Connected for Real Podcast. Thank you so much, Deneen.
TOVA RINA SCHIFF
Hi! This is Tova Rina Schiff. I attended two of Rebbetzin Bat-Chen’s Marriage Breakthrough Retreats. She takes you a very smooth 7-day journey together with like-minded woman, who all wanna bring balance to their marriage. She has homework and a personalized phone meeting, and other amazing bonuses, and through the 7 days, Bat-Chen helps you change your habits and patterns one small, simple step at a time on a short 7 days. I highly, highly recommend this Marriage Breakthrough Retreat, and I cannot wait to see you there.
VIRGINIA TOWO
I attended Bat-Chen’s retreat in May. Actually, it was last minute because I jumped on as a helper from behind the scenes. But what I can tell you guys is life changing. If you are in that space of a married woman, businesswoman, entrepreneur, you’re starting your business or you’re juggling parenting and being a mom and a wife with that space in the business sector. I want to highly recommend this retreat, and because I was from behind the scenes and observing how she delivered her content, these are the things that I was able to actually see delivered her content, the way she connected on a one to one in a really sensitive, visible way. I could see that she saw every woman that was on that retreat. She connected with all of them. She heard and she listened to them, but she was also able to carry the whole group because it felt safe. She was a safe person to engage with, to speak with, to converse with. The content was also quite very high class. It was very applicable easily and simply into our normal day-to-day lives as working women and working mothers and women in the business sector. So, I want to highly recommend that if you’re thinking or you’re on the sidelines of attending this next retreat in November, it will be worth your while. This woman is gifted. She knows her stuff. She knows what she’s talking about. I was able to just sit back and observe her deliver this content that s life changing, and I think I will go again, even though I jumped in last minute. I just want to actually receive this time and be a participant in the retreat. So, I encourage you to attend. I encourage you to sign up for the retreat. I encourage you to get in touch with her. She surely is gifted. She’s an amazing, amazing encourager and she will build your faith up. She will build you up in that business space and thank you for listening.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
And that’s it! Thank you for listening to the very end. I would love if you can leave a review and subscribe to the podcast. Those are things that tell the algorithm, this is a good podcast and make sure to suggest it to others. Wouldn’t it be amazing if more people became more connected for real? And now, take a moment and think of someone who might benefit from this episode. Can you share it with them? I am Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman from connectedforreal.com. Thank you so much for listening, and don’t forget, you can be connected for real.