204. Starting Fresh

Transcript:

Welcome to the Connected For Real podcast. I’m Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman, a marriage coach for women in business. And my mission is to bring God’s presence into your life, into your marriage and into your business. Let’s get started.

And we are live. Welcome everyone to the Connected for Real podcast. Today is a solo   episode about Rosh Hashanah, the new year. And with it all of the new energy, we’re gonna talk about what I’m doing, what you could be doing, what you should be doing we’ll wrap up a little bit of last year and learn what we need to learn in order to sort of go into the new year with a new energy.

So let’s get started. First thing is the podcast. I love my podcast.

I love that it’s on YouTube and on all of the platforms for podcasts. I love that you can either listen or watch. I love that I did it this way, that I have to just go live and. Do it and not have to think too much about it.

I absolutely love the connections it creates. So obviously my guests are really awesome and it gives me the opportunity to talk to really amazing people. So those types of connections are really, really empowering and inspiring. And it is just really, really fun to think that all these amazing women are coming to talk to me on my podcast.

It feels really good. The other thing that I love about the podcast are the listeners. AKA you. I love that you’re listening. I love that you’re coming back and I love that you are inspired and that you react. So a lot of emails are coming in giving me feedback. Recently, I had someone call me and tell me that they found me on YouTube and we haven’t met in 20 years since high school. And as we started chatting about why she clicked and what she heard and how it was, it was so beautiful, those opportunities to connect. And by the way, that. One example of this friend who called me from high school was such an amazing reminder of how God works in such mysterious ways and how orchestrated everything is that she saw my video on the recommended side and then she clicked it because it was a good topic for her.

And then she heard something that reminded her of me and, and then, you know, it was like, woo, that was awesome. So things like that really light me up. Really light me up. And as you guys know, this past year had its ups and downs. It had a big, you know, boom, that shook up the last part of my year. And we weren’t perfect in the podcasts that were coming out. I made a conscious decision to slow down with the podcasts, the. Episodes that we had, prerecorded went live and everything was fine, but I just didn’t have the capacity towards the end of the year to record new episodes and fill in the blanks.

So you might have noticed that there were blanks. We always drop an episode on Sunday. Sometimes we even drop an extra one on Thursday, but. Recently we’ve just been dropping the episodes that were ready and easy and we weren’t putting in too much extra effort because it just was too much to handle.

But I have good news for you. We are back. I am feeling really good. I’m feeling much better. I am getting really awesome guests coming on. You’re gonna find out my brother is coming to speak next week, I believe about how he is handling the murder of his wife and baby. That episode is going to blow everybody’s mind because he is so amazing and I’m so proud to say he is my brother. Also just so heads up I never have men on my show, but I did make an exception for family. So you already heard my father was on my podcast, I think a year and a half ago, and I think that episode is the one that was most listened to.

So yes, it was worth it. I had my husband on. And now having my brothers on, and I’m feeling really, really grateful and really aligned with that decision because as much as I love that energy of women and having this beautiful sisterhood of, you know, conversations and inspiration, I also think that there’s something really special about having family members come on and giving them an opportunity to.

To shine. So thank you for letting me do that, and thank you for listening and you know, coming back every time, it really is inspirational. So that’s about the podcast you are in for an amazing year. We’re talking about criticism, we’re talking about perfection, we’re talking about change. There are really great topics that are coming up.

If there are topics that you are interested in, if there’s something you want me to address specifically on the podcast, if you have a guest that you want to suggest that I should have on my podcast, or if you wanna be a guest on the podcast, get in touch. I am available. I’m always here. I am listening, and as I said one of my favorite things to do is to.

Have these conversations with you, so feel free to give me feedback to tell me, suggest connect, whatever. Okay, so that’s about the podcast. I’m excited about it and I just wanted you to know that I am back. I am putting in all of my love into it, and it’s also part of the healing. I feel like it’s really a gift to be able to jump back into it.

Now let’s talk about my clients, because I don’t talk about my clients, obviously on this podcast or ever anywhere. I keep their identities very secret unless they come on and, you know, want to do a podcast or want to talk about their experience working with me. Most of my clients are anonymous, and one of the coolest things that’s been happening is that.

Last year, my goal was to streamline the process of joining my program. So what is the first step is to get on a discovery call. Because as long as you’re on the other side of this microphone, or your earbuds, or your phone or your computer, I don’t know, you’re there and I can’t imagine who you are or what you are.

I could, I, I guess I could imagine. But it’s very amazing to see how many people, how many types of people, how many locations. You know, countries are listening to the podcast and recently got an email telling me that I made it to the top 20 podcasts of Jewish women and I am on, you know, number 12.

So that’s very exciting. If you haven’t heard, so now you heard I I made it, I made it. So I feel a little bit like, woo, it’s so cool. And then I’m like, okay. It, it’s just, you know, a number 12, that’s, it’s always what happens. Your brain is like, nah, it’s no big deal. It’s a big deal. It’s exciting and I’m giving myself permission to celebrate that.

It’s been more than four years that I am consistently on this podcast recording, having guests showing up, being vulnerable, telling it to you like it is, and I think I pride myself for that the most is my ability to be authentic. I know that that’s what everyone says they like.

And I also know that it’s hard because, you know, we’re all programmed to want to look good and want to be a certain way, and everything needs to be whatever. Perfect. You know, me and my perfection. But early on as a graphic designer, I had to learn that you can’t have perfect as your standard because you’ll never make it and you’ll feel not enough, and then you’ll beat yourself up for it and it’s not gonna work.

And so when I was sending things for print, I looked it over, trust that whatever needed to be caught is caught and we fixed it. And whatever we weren’t seeing is because that’s just how it had to be. And from the physical of having to send things to print and trusting that it is what it is, came the spiritual and emotional understanding that perfection is not what God wants.

And we’re gonna talk more about that in December because December’s all about perfection and you’re going to see some of these guests are just phenomenal. So good. I was gonna say perfect, but nobody’s perfect and there’s a good reason for that because. It’s what makes you come back and listen to the podcast.

And I’m proud of my journey to becoming less perfect. Being willing to be less perfect, let’s say it that way. So, yay, yay for me. So along with my clients, I do wanna tell you. I am the most blown away by, as I said, the types of people who I am helping. We have everyone on the spectrum, every single thing you could think of.

I have women who don’t have Internets in the house who have to go to. An office or an internet cafe to meet with me. I have one who meets with me over the phone because there is no technology. And then I also have women who are not Jewish at all and really connect to that the Jewish values, what I have to bring to the table.

I love it. I love it that there is such a wide range of people and that I am able to show up for every single one in the way that they need. So it used to be I had a mastermind, it was group, everybody sort of like fit into a mold or didn’t, but you know, worked together to make it happen. And now that I’m doing one-on-ones and I am only focusing on.

Me and you and making your goals a possibility and getting you to where you wanna be and all the good stuff that we’re doing. Magic is happening and being able to come back from the shakeup and, and, you know, the grief that we had to heal from. And jumping right into working with my clients again, it was such a gift, and I have to thank you for being part of that.

I’m getting emotional because it’s so beautiful. Okay, so um, let’s talk about what I am going to be doing. To get Recentered realigned, start the new year fresh. So first thing is I’m going to get back to my own time management system. I have a system that I put together based on all the things that worked for me.

I teach it in my training. I have a, like a series of trainings called How to Run Your Business. Like God runs his world, and it is exactly that. It’s instead of trying to run your business like everyone else is running their business or what all these gurus are saying to do.

Run your business, taking notes from God himself. So if God does it this way, then maybe that’s the way we should be doing things too. And one of the trainings there is time management. You know, why did God create time? What is time for, what is it here to serve in our lives and in general? And based on those understandings then how do we manage our own time?

How do we manage ourselves within time? What are the different practical tools that help us reach those goals and use the time properly? And I’m really proud to say that I put that training together because going back and trying to, you know, sort of like grab at my life from all the different loose ends.

This is something that is a real gift that I recorded for myself. That’s basically how I could say it. Everything I do I do for you, and then I end up enjoying it and thinking, wow, that was cool. So yeah, that is one of the most valuable trainings. And there’s a whole training library that I have that you get access to when you join my program. But that is just one very powerful.

So in this time management system, I have a clipboard and I have everything in one place. So I track the most important things that are going to move the needle for me. I stay focused and do the things that actually matter, and I plan my week. So I know what’s coming up. I know how to manage myself within the week, and I also am able to make sure that I’m taking care of myself.

That’s in a nutshell, but really the training is worth it.

  Hey, before we continue the episode, I want to ask you something. Are you ready to get answers from God directly, feel more in love with your husband and more supported than ever? Run the business of your dreams without having to sacrifice any other part of your life? That is exactly what my one-on-one private coaching is for, and I want to invite you, just you and me.

For a free deep dive discovery call, this is a 60 minute free call where I ask you lots of questions and we extract the three main things that are holding you back. I then put together a personalized plan for you where I create a roadmap of recommendations. With practical steps, the call is free and so valuable in itself.

So go book yours today. Now back to the show.

 The next thing I wanted to talk about when talking about a new year is planning, and I just want to legitimize and verbalize for all of us how difficult it has been in the last two years to plan anything. I wanna take you back to the beginning. Before the war hit two years ago, we had an entire August with the kids, and every woman I knew that was in business was already.

On like pins and needles to get back into life. There was all of August, then there was the holidays right away, so there wasn’t even time to land and like start the new year of school and everything. And then the end, the last day of the holidays, when. We all had already like this, like light at the end of the tunnel.

Tomorrow they’re going back to school and life will be back to normal. That was the point when October 7th happened. Okay. I wanna tell you, honestly, I did not even know the date was October 7th because it, it didn’t make any sense. Okay? Like the whole thing was just like, so. Like we were so out of our planners that I didn’t even know the Gregorian date.

And then afterwards when people called it October 7th, I’m like, oh, that’s what it was. Because I didn’t even realize October started. I was still in September in my head. That’s how like up there in Lala land. We were, we were so exhausted, we were so overwhelmed. There was so much going on all of that August and all of those days and weeks leading to, let’s just get back into a reality.

Could we all just go back to our routines? That’s what the energy was, and this thing just like exploded all plans, everything was canceled. The world came to an end. And I think the biggest thing I had to deal with was, so you’re not going to school tomorrow. Right? Like that was the thing I cared about the most.

Just like, I’m not gonna get any time for myself. Like everything we planned for after the holidays was just deleted. And that was the hardest part for me and for a lot of peers. Women in my network are all saying the same thing. It was so hard and I think that moment created this inner trauma of like, I just can’t plan.

I can’t plan because I don’t know what’s going to be. Every single time we plan, we plan the month, we plan the year, we plan. This is the quarter something happens and it takes the the ground. From under our feet. And so I invite you to rethink all of planning. Okay. I have a planning training in my program.

I do, and it’s called the 90 Day Plan. And we talk about it and it, it works really well because it’s flexible, but really I want to, I want to make you think about this just a tiny bit deeper. Two years ago when we all wanted to get back to routine, we just wanted to go back to normal. That I think, is the core of the problem.

It’s the core of why we had to have the wake up call. It’s the reason why we were shaken up. It’s because we don’t get it. We are not living a reality that is ideal and. The fact that we think this is normal and the fact that we got so used to living this way that we don’t even think there is something missing, we just wanna get back into routine.

Made it that we had to be woken up and shaken up and, hello. It’s not supposed to be this way. You’re not supposed to be in a routine and a rhythm that is lacking God, that is lacking the, the Temple, the Beit Hamikdash what, what is going on? Why are we okay with sickness? Why are we okay with war? Why are we okay with, you know, all of the things that are happening, every suffering in this world is because there is no God’s presence in this world.

And that’s mind boggling to think that when I think back to the emotions and the thoughts and the feelings right before the war, I realize why I had to go through the war. I’m not saying you, I’m not saying the world. I’m, I’m gonna be very personal here.

Obviously, you know, every person should think about this on their own, but I’ll backtrack a little bit. Okay, I used to have stomach aches when I was in like 10th, 11th grade, and my stomach would hurt all the time and it would hurt most after Shabbos, like after Saturday.

And it’s probably because of the foods I was eating or something, and. I had such terrible stomach aches. Eventually my mother took me to the doctor and eventually the doctor did all these tests and eventually he said that I need to eat more fiber and I need to stop eating white bread because white bread is hurting my stomach.

And you know, so I switched over to whole wheat and that was like the beginning of my, you know, trying to figure out what foods are hurting my stomach and why I am feeling a certain way. Thank God I feel much better. Much, much better. Like I probably forgot about the fact that my stomach ever hurt.

’cause now I’m an adult and I’m living a life and thank God I am choosing the things I eat and I’m trying to, you know listen to my body tangent. But one of the things that I came to understand after, and something that somebody once asked me is before you try thinking, what did I eat that caused this stomach ache?

Think what did I think before I had the stomach ache. What was going on in my life right before my stomach started to hurt? And it’s so powerful and I think I just realized that that’s what I was doing when I was talking about the pain of the war is what was happening right before the war. What is the thing that.

Feels like it’s not connected. It’s almost like what’s the correlation? But it also can give us a little hint into what’s going on. So

thanks to the war and another war and all of life just being shaken up, I have realized that planning has to change. Our plan process can’t be so rigid anymore, and it has to be a lot more aligned and a lot more flexible. And that’s what I’m going to be doing with my clients this year is we’re going to have a planning session where we are taking those lessons and implementing also because.

For our nervous system to feel more in control and more okay with the lack of co control and lack of knowledge and feeling of like I don’t even know what’s gonna be tomorrow, so how can I plan for the month? You know, that feeling. So that’s what we we’re going to be focusing on in the next couple of weeks.

And the last thing I wanna talk about is mindset. Going into this new year, I am listening more to the narrative. In my head. I am questioning more the beliefs that I have, and I know that I talked about this many times and I know that this is something you hear everywhere, but there’s something about the way that we.

Believe the world is or should be, that

has to be reevaluated.

As I said, this world is an illusion. There’s a lot of suffering. There’s a lot of things that aren’t as they should be, but it’s exactly as it should be in order to get us there. Okay. Does that make sense? Can you relate to what I’m saying? So as it is now is how it should be because those are the wake up calls.

Those are the things we need in order to create the next step or reach that ideal reality. And when I’m talking ideal reality, I’m being very clear. And yesterday somebody said to me, oh, I don’t wanna be a guest on your podcast. ’cause I’m going to say all the things that nobody says. I’m like, that’s exactly why I want you on my podcast.

But really everybody is going to be saying all this like nice fluff, fluffy, fuzzy, feel good things. But at the end of the day, if we don’t bring God into our lives, if we don’t live with intention, if we are not creating a better ideal world, then what are we here for? So I’m gonna say it straight out and I hope that that’s okay with you.

Let’s light up the world with more of God’s light this year. And in order to do that, we need to question a lot of the things that we believe are quote unquote normal. Like she says, I’m not gonna say the normal things. I don’t need you to. The power that we have is in saying the things that no one else is saying is in doing the things that no one else is doing is in showing up and loving in a way that nobody is loving these days.

And you know how I told you that my goal for last year was to streamline the process that people find me and then work with me. I just wanna tell you, the coolest thing that happened was that two people reached out out of nowhere during a month that I was not working and signed up for a discovery call, and they both joined.

They were perfect clients, and they joined seamlessly without any objections and I think it’s because I reached my goal. I think it was because I became so intentional about being very clear about what I do, about being very honest about how I do it, and not being afraid to be different than other coaches not being afraid of not looking good. So going into this new year, I am blessing you. With the ability to streamline your business so that you have more time to invest in the things that matter and in your ability to lean into your business so that your business could be more aligned and serve God in the way that it’s built for.

Right? There’s a reason why you built a business. It’s probably so that you could serve God. So let’s realign it. Let’s make sure that it’s really working for you and in your home front. I bless you with so much harmony and love and balance and the ability to love being home as much as you love being out there.

Doing the work that you’re here to do. I bless you that you find joy in the small moments I bless all of us with the full redemption. I think we’re ready. I know we’re ready and even if we’re not ready, we’ll get ready.

We’re also very supportive of each other and we can hold each other to rise, so let’s do it.

Some goals for the next couple of months. Number one, I wanna go up to the temple mount in purity. So that means going to dunk in the ritual bath, the mikvah, the night before, and ascending the temple mount without leather shoes and without, you know, a walking stick and a big backpack. All the rules and all the things that, you know, we follow in order to do it right. If you have any questions about is it allowed, is it not allowed?

But I thought we weren’t allowed. All those are addressed in the podcast with my husband. Also, you can ask me and I will answer whatever questions you have. I wanna go up with a bunch of my friends, so if you feel like you’re ready to come and join me, come and join me. This is a goal for this year.

I wanna go up as a group, not just individually. And I wanna shake it up a little. I wanna shake up the, the gates of heaven. So that’s happening very soon. Send us an email if you’re interested, and I’ll give you more details about that. Another big goal I have is to create a retreat. I’m feeling ready.

I’ve been dreaming about it. I’ve been thinking about it. I’ve been talking about it. I’ve been planning it, I’ve been researching. I really wanna make it happen. So if you’re interested in an in-person retreat here in Israel, it’s going to be beautiful. It’s going to be amazing.

I am bringing in sound bath. I am bringing in yoga, I’m bringing in obviously a lot of what I do and experiential things and also art. We’re gonna make jewelry, we’re going to do intuitive painting. There’s a lot going on. So if you’re into this type of thing and you’re ready for a real awesome retreat experience, probably going to be two nights, three days.

Get in touch as soon as possible before it fills up. ’cause I usually make these very intimate small groups. So I’m excited about it. I’m feeling it coming. I don’t have a, an exact date to give you yet, but I will definitely go live to tell you about it when I know. So that’s another thing that’s happening this year.

And lastly, I’m also working on a networking event. So something that’s going to be like a full morning probably going to be near Jerusalem and Shaar Binyamin mean it’s going to be really, really fun. Also connecting. And I can’t wait to see you there because that is not something you have to sleep over for, and it’s just something you have to show up to.

And these have been really successful. I was doing them like you know, throughout the year, but I wanna make a big one, like a real legit morning experience. So, sign up for that too. Just send me an email. I don’t have any signups right now for anything. I’m just throwing out my ideas for the goals of this year.

These are the things I wanna be doing. I wanna be more around people. I wanna be more in person, and I also want to do the things that help us realign and get connected and sort of like gather ourselves because I’m seeing. That a lot of what we’re doing is sort of scattering. Okay. Like, let’s regather, let’s refocus, let’s realign. So coming up this year, as I said, an ascension of women coming with me, going up to the temple mount, praying, aligning and then celebrating. Maybe we’ll go out to eat afterwards then.

Not maybe we’re gonna go out to eat afterwards. Okay. Then I am also planning an in-person retreat that’s going to be a three day experience and Israel, and also I’m planning a networking morning. That’s going to be a lot more. Connective, interactive, fun, and exciting ’cause those are the types of things I’m looking towards.

So I look forward to seeing you. I’m excited about this coming year. I pray. I really pray that we get to the ideal reality. We’re ready for a beit Hamikdash. For a holy temple in the land of Israel ah, I don’t even have words anymore. I just want it to happen. Hashem. Let’s do it.

Okay. So that’s me being me. I love you very much. Thank you for listening. Thank you for being here. Don’t forget to be connected. For real, for real, okay? And I wish you a wonderful year. Can’t wait to see what this amazing year brings. Enjoy the coming podcast guests, and don’t forget to keep in touch. Give me feedback, let me know how you’re doing.

It really fills me up. So, nah, I love you. I’ll see you next time. And as I said, don’t forget to be connected for real.

 And that’s it! Thank you for listening to the very end. I would love if you can leave a review and subscribe to the podcast. Those are things that tell the algorithm this is a good podcast and make sure to suggest it to others. Wouldn’t it be amazing if more people became more connected for real? And now take a moment and think of someone who might benefit from this episode.

Can you share it with them? I am Robinson Bat chen Grossman from connectedforreal. com. Thank you so much for listening and don’t forget you can be connected for real.