192. How to Receive More in Your Business

Transcript:

 Welcome to the Connected For Real podcast. I’m Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman, a marriage coach for women in business. And my mission is to bring God’s presence into your life, into your marriage and into your business. Let’s get started. 

 We are live. Welcome everyone to the Connected for Real podcast. Oh, this is so fun.  We’ve been live for a minute and I didn’t even notice. Welcome to rachel, do you go by Rachel?  Either one. I go by whatever people call me. Great. Between’s, those two and some other versions. Yeah.  Okay, great. So now I have to like recenter myself ’cause I just got caught off guard. I’m going to introduce the podcast. I’m gonna introduce you and then we’re gonna get right into it.

Our topic today is receiving and business. And if you guys know, we have four pillars, God, marriage, business, and you. And this month we’re talking about receiving. So this episode is specifically about receiving and business, which is so fun because you, Rachel, are the best person to have  as a guest for this specific topic.

And this is why I love the way that I scheduled my, my podcast is like, God just sends me the right experts for the right things. So introduce yourself, tell everybody what you’re all about, and then we’ll get right into it.  Thank you so much for having me. I’m also excited about this conversation as I was thinking about some of what I wanted to share and what we might talk about.

I got like even more excited about it from the first time that we chatted. In short, I am an entrepreneur, turn business mentor and strategist, and I help women grow their businesses from the ground up in a way that allows them to really love their life and their business simultaneously. So it’s rooted in values, it’s rooted in who they are at their core, so that everything is aligned.

And we are ditching, hustle, culture and really leaning into the idea that your business should feel like you, it should feel like the thing you wanna wake up to each and every day. And if it’s not, then there are probably some structures, strategies, and systems and tools and things that we can be tweaking to recenter and really get somebody on the right path.

So I deal a lot with foundations of business and helping people in their business models and developing their brands and their marketing strategies, and really just putting intention behind everything that they’re doing so that it works for them both in life and in business.  I love that. I love that.

And you also made an amazing event that I was part of that I, I just wanna like, give you so much credit for, ’cause I had so much fun. Um, Aw, thanks. Uh, I, I think that is, it’s a real superpower to be able to bring people together especially women together and create  a sense of belonging, such a large group, you know, because like, it’s easier when it’s a small group.

We can all sort of, we can all sort of do it, but you did it in a large group, which is really awesome.  Thank you so much. I think that there is real power in women gathering together and. Supporting one another and showing up for one another and sharing their time and talents. And I know we’re gonna talk a lot more about that today with this topic of receiving in business.

But I think that being part of community is essential for, yes, for us, thriving in our businesses, and really feeling like we are held in. A space that’s going to help us, like, reach our potential. I’ve just seen magic happen when women get together and gather and share their wisdom and their energy together.

And like, there’s just something totally unique about the way we do it, right? Like, we all come into the space and we’re hugging and, you know, there are tears sometimes, like we’re bringing our whole selves. It’s not like we’re checking anything at the door. And it is, it’s just so beautiful. So I’ve been very blessed  to be able to create these spaces for lots of women to connect with each other.

And then it’s really beautiful. So, to see where those connections and relationships take them when they, when they walk out the door, I,  I love that. I love it. Okay, so let’s talk about receiving in business. The first thing I wanna hear from you is, where does that take you? Because there’s so many different directions that I can go and it’s really fun to see like where, you know, the brain goes with it. 

Yeah. Like I said, I’ve been thinking a lot about this, you know, when we sort of set this up and we had a one day delay if you were tracking the schedule here. But I was thinking about like, what does it really mean to receive in business? ’cause I think a lot of times I encounter a lot of women who accidentally found themselves in business, right?

They call themselves these, either an accidental  entrepreneur or they just somehow started offering the thing that they do and then they’re like, oh, lo and behold, here I am, I have a business. So what does it really mean to like, get intentional  around this idea of receiving in business? 

And I thought about too, like, what holds us back from receiving? ’cause wow, there is, there’s so much. So I’d love to talk about that. And then maybe some practical steps that people can take. To open up that pipeline to receiving in their business. So those are just like a few of the areas that I’ve been thinking about.

Yes. You know, I’m just thinking of the basics. Receiving in business, your business will not be a business. It, it’s gonna be a hobby if you’re not actually receiving money. Right. And that’s like the basic, basic of anything. And just the other day I have a friend who’s starting a business and she said, yeah, but I feel so bad because if they don’t get the result then it’s a waste of time and you know, and then maybe I should just do it for free.

And I was like,  are you in business or are you not in business? So I think, you know, before we get into any of the deeper stuff,  I love to  bring to the awareness that business is about.  The exchange of value, the exchange of, you know, receiving money and paying for things and then you know, being able to also receive advice and receive guidance from your mentors.

Like there’s so much receiving on the superficial level  that we can’t ignore.  Absolutely. I think the first place to start is that it begins with us owning our worth. Owning our worth, right? If we’re not owning our worth, then that example you gave is a great one. I literally had a client call yesterday, same situation.

She has a client that she had a conversation with and he wanted some new levels of support from her. She had already been supporting him in his business for several months and she proposed the new fee and then she started working ’cause he needed it.  He didn’t, he didn’t sign on the dotted line and he didn’t and he didn’t end up paying her, and she’s like, maybe I should let it go.

Right? When we own our worth, we don’t just work for free, period. The end, we just don’t, right.  It’s moving past like, who am I to charge for this? Who am I to go back? I didn’t ask for him to sign on the dotted line and like reprimanding ourselves. No, you did the work.

 You showed up, you delivered, you stepped into your own value and your own truth and you’re owed for that right Now. Obviously there are things that we can do to put in place so that these kinds of situations don’t happen, but I think that all of us really does begin with saying yes to your own worth,  and  many of us are, I say like a lot of hard heart-centered entrepreneurs, they’re givers.

 They are the kind of people who say things like, I would do this even if I weren’t paid for it. Right. Right. Because they love the work that they’re doing. They love their businesses, they love their clients, they love helping. But like you said, without that, that what I call a two way. Yes.

Right. That two way Yes. Where like there’s that even exchange of somebody is paying you for what you are offering them. And there’s that balance. Like I’m picturing a weighted skill. Right. And it becomes completely off balance if we don’t have that two way. Yes. Right. When we are showing up with our time, our talents, our expertise, and our energy, it makes way for that receiving to happen.

And if we only look at our businesses as a place where we are giving, then we have completely cut ourselves off to that channel of receiving. Right,  right.  Yeah. And then I’m also thinking as you know, as soon as you set a scale, as soon as you pick up your part and you’re like, oh, I don’t need to get paid.

The other person has a down. It does not ever work as a win-win. When? When you just. You know, sort of relieve yourself of having to be paid because they need to pay in order to get the thing that they’re getting. Right. It’s, it’s,  I remember about Yeah, it’s like, it’s their buy-in. Yeah. It’s, it’s not just their buy-in, but it’s like, it’s them showing up and saying yes to themselves as well.

Like it’s their level of commitment. It shows their level of commitment to the thing that they’re looking for and that they desire or articulate it as a need. Right. And when they don’t put money behind that or some sort of a commitment, then yeah. That scale is, is completely outta whack on the other end.

Yeah. Yeah. I signed up for a course for like a very small amount of money. I didn’t open a single video,  you know, and when I pay for courses, you know, and I, I, I usually like them to be live because I like to show up live,  which is why we’re doing this live. I just find the energy is different about me, about showing up, about doing the work, about taking action.

I have who to ask and who to keep me accountable. Like there’s so much power to that commitment.  Absolutely. You know, in the coaching world, and I’ve transitioned to calling myself a business mentor and strategist because I think that there’s a lot that’s been going down in the coaching world over the last couple of years that don’t align with how I operate and show up in my business.

And so I have wanted to distance myself  from that world a little bit. But I think one of the practices and models that people were leveraging for a long time were these DIY courses. And people say it’s passive income and it’s like a no brainer. You make tons and tons of money while you sleep and it’s not. 

The reality for most people who go into their businesses, that they’re going to be able to create a container where people show up when they’re sleeping, right? Because there is that accountability, and that’s also another exchange.  And way to open up that pipeline is like opening ourselves up to that kind of support.

And the level of support that people get inside of a DIY course or something that you just buy off the shelf and are supposed to implement on your own might not be sufficient. I think data shows it’s not sufficient for most people, right?  And so they become really ineffective. And I think like receiving is, it’s staying in that place where it’s the give and the get where you want to be the giver, but you also know that you want the other person to be getting what it is that they’re paying for, showing up for. I mean, as a business owner, I can say like, I am most lit up when my clients are succeeding. Right.

And when they are, when they’re growing and achieving wins that they’ve set out for. And so this is a big piece of it  is knowing it. It’s like you don’t just wanna sell something, right? It’s not just about  getting the sale, that’s also not receiving, it’s also like knowing that person on the other side is getting the value that they’re looking for.

 Right. There’s a win.  We’re gonna get more into.  Okay, so let’s get into the, as of receiving.  My Bluetooth is doing something a little funky. What was the question?  Sorry, I said so let’s get into other ways. No, it’s all good. I just wanna tell you guys, this is like actually happening live. So a lot of my podcast episodes are prerecorded not like, not in this way, like all of them are going live live, but in the actual podcast.

When people listen in their ears,   I preschedule a lot of my content so that I don’t have to make sure that I’m like running behind the clock. And receiving in business was this one that we’ve been running after for a while and we were supposed to record a while ago. And then the tragedy happened with my sister-in-law and then the baby.

And so now it’s been a month later and it’s my, you know, it’s my, I think it’s my first time back. Maybe it’s my second time actually. It’s my second time back on, you know, live podcasting.  And I, I wanna give that some space ’cause I feel like,  a lot of, a lot of the people who’ve been following me and have been aware that this is happening, and then they go and they listen to a podcast and it’s like, I’m so normal, what’s going on?

So those are probably the ones that I prerecorded. And this one you could tell I’m not doing as normal and as like, you know, life as usual because it’s not, and it’s totally legit.  Yeah. Yeah. It’s very real what’s happening here, whether it’s my Bluetooth or all, you know, going live when we didn’t know we were live or whatever.

But I think that that’s, that brings us to another point, and this is something that we were talking about before we went live, which is really being.  Open to receiving and embracing support and, you know, with the tragedy that your family just experienced, I was asking you about the level of support around you.

I know that you have a VA who works for you and with you and has been tremendously supportive and your husband. And I think that, you know, there’s this myth that strong, successful women do it all. And we have to, we have to break that down. ’cause it’s just not the truth. You know, there, there was a saying for decades, like, behind every successful man is a woman who, blah, blah, blah.

Well, I’ll say the same for us women, right Behind every successful strong woman is also  some level of support. And I think that creating that, that support system around us is what allows us to show up in our businesses as receivers. Right, right. And saying yes to that, it, it’s not a sign of weakness, it’s actually a sign  of strength and strategy. 

For sure. Oh my gosh.  The craziest thing was that when I was at the Shiva, my brother was, was surrounded by so many people and for the first time I understood  what it means to have the support.  You know, like I I to Rachel Rogers sometimes in her podcast and she talks about, you gotta get yourself support.

You can’t be doing everything because she’s right. It’s the best thing that happened to my business and to me was when I got my assistant and you know, I delegate a lot and I have a lot of really amazing people around me, which is such a blessing. But it feels weird to start, you know, ’cause as you said, we feel like there’s this need to do it all.

And in reality it’s like, no, no, it’s actually the opposite. Like, if you wanna be doing the thing that you’re here to do, you’re gonna have to let other people do the things that aren’t,  you know? Yeah. As,  as like unique to you.  Yeah. And I think too, like a business that can hold more, receives more. Mm-hmm.

So when you bring on a va,  your business actually grows its capacity, its ability to serve on a larger scale. Right. When you have that support team around you, because I always tell people, every single human on this planet only has 168 hours every week. We’re all the same. That way nobody has more time than somebody else.

But if we want to expand our time and our ability to do more, we have to expand the team behind us, right? So it might not be the people that you’re always seeing, but I think that this is a tremendous lever to, to receiving more. It’s growing your capacity to do it. I love it. I was telling my friend,  I have, you know this,  she’s been very supportive, so she’s been around for this past month, just like right there helping me with everything.

So we’re also talking a lot. And so I was telling her that if you want something done, you give it to a busy person.  And it’s not because  they have more time than everyone else, but it’s, they have the skills to know what needs to be done, what somebody else can do, and where they could cut corners. 

It comes more naturally to them because they’ve practiced it more.  Yeah. And that’s, and they know what to say yes to and what to say no to. Exactly right. It’s all about the boundaries and mm-hmm. Yeah. It’s the same concept of if you want things to happen, you can start practicing skills  that feel very uncomfortable  when you’re, you know, normal  when you’re like living in this regular life where everybody feels like they have to do it all and, you know, everybody takes care.

And like there’s these like norms of what a wife does and what a mother does and what, you know, and it’s like.  But maybe I could change things around and make it work better for me.  Absolutely. That’s, that’s my, you know, my specialty when I work with my clients is like, we gotta make this work for you and, you know, obviously for God.

’cause it’s all one.  Yeah. And, and we can’t do it when we’re depleted. Right,  right. So it’s all about like, how do we,  how Well, that’s a whole huge conversation. Yeah.  How do we keep our energy alive? But, but the, the small point here in this conversation is like, boundaries are what protect us Right.

And protect our capacity. And  we can’t be receivers when we’re completely depleted, when we’ve said yes to everything around us and so forth.  I love that. And also you were going somewhere and you said, oh, that could be a whole other podcast. But I do wanna touch on that because it’s so important.

In order to receive, you have to be a vessel, right? Like you have to have that bowl that contains all of the things that are being received. And if you are in a place where you’re not  capable, right, the capacity is just not there, it’s going to be very difficult to receive.  Yeah.  I think this, this is one thing that we were talking about earlier, but it’s embodying enoughness.

You know, a lot of times people think that  is all about strategy and all about the brain and like what we’re doing.  And I think in this conversation, and each of us in our work focuses also on this other highly important, if not maybe even more important element, which is our being. How we are being right and  our way that we’re embodying that level of enoughness in this business and enoughness as humans and as women throughout our lives.

And I think that this is where we can’t separate life and business, right? Like women. As women, we wear so many different hats. And we are balancing, not balancing in the equal sense, but we are, we are integrating all of those hats into how we show up in the world. And  that idea of like embodying and

preparing our vessel to be open to receiving. It takes this awareness even that it’s not just brain and strategy and doing, but this, this sense that we also have to nurture and nourish our being. Right. I love that.  Ah, I’m like, letting that seep in  is so this has taken me, this has taken me so long to come to, I feel like early in my business years, I heard people saying these things and I was like, no, they’re so wrong.

They’re wrong. I just know I need to like tweak a certain number of things. I just need to like do this one more thing.  Right. And it’s taken me a long time to see  how powerful the presence of this is.  To me as a woman, but also to honestly go straight to the bottom line of the business.

Right, right.  It’s crazy because   I was thinking,  I,  it’s so hard to receive,  and as women receiving is our superpower, like that is what we are built to be, but we have so much resistance to it. Could we get a little bit practical about what we could do to let go of all the judgment, let go of all the ways that we think it’s not supposed to be this way, and just sort of like, you know, settle into receiving. 

I think one of the more practical ways I see this come out.  Is that when we hear the word receiving  again, we feel like we are on the end that needed help.  That’s like the way that we hear this word. It’s been wired into us that the, the whole act of receiving is like for people that aren’t enough, don’t have enough need help.

Like there are all sorts of like negative connotations with this idea of receiving.  At its core I believe that receiving is,  it’s allowing, well, it’s several different things, but it’s allowing in what’s already meant for us. So it’s like it doesn’t diminish somebody else’s life. Light by shining brighter, right. It’s being open to stepping into what is already ours, like what is already meant for us. And if we believe in there being some sort of  God or divine purpose for ourselves, which is certainly what we’re talking about here on this podcast,  then  it’s abundant.

It’s abundant. You’re not taking from somebody else. And so I think that there’s this idea that one,  if you are,  if you are, if you’re feeling like you become like this needy person by being open to receive, right? We have to like unwind that story. And then the second story that when we receive, we’re taking from somebody else’s lot, right?

Like both of these are, are myths.  And so yeah, no, they’re complete nonsense because like you said, if you connect to a limitless.  Right. Like the, the, the God who does not have boundaries. We were talking about boundaries before, so we could bring that into here. There are no boundaries. It’s like playing a video game and you take two and then suddenly it reappears.

’cause it just never ends. I, once you see it that way, then that’s not the game you’re playing. Right. As it makes it easier to receive when you realize that   it’s almost like part of the game is for you to learn to receive because you were gonna get it anyway, but you needed to become the vessel in order to let it in. 

Yeah. Yeah. And also imagine that, imagine that you didn’t let it in. Right. And your potential is writing on you receiving that thing. And  I’m calling it a thing, but it’s not necessarily, I.  Tangible. Right, right. In a way that we can understand.  But imagine that when we are not open to receiving what is already meant for us, then we cannot then serve. 

Right, right, right. So it’s going from  like, it holds us back. It’s going from feeling like these, these feelings of guilt like that we’re taking from somebody else, right. To feeling like, actually the more I receive, the more I actually have to give as well, and the more I can then give to the other person who is looking for the thing that I have.

It’s like this beautiful ecosystem. Right. So you said the thing, and now I wanna get into that. What is this thing that we’re all talking about, like receive and receiving and open yourself up and it’s like, what’s the thing?  I mean, first and foremost, like if we’re specifically here, we’re talking about business, right?

What are some of the things, there are a lot of different things, but what are we receiving? We’re, when we’re designing our businesses, we’re doing it from a place of strategy, right? Because if we are not,  let’s say we’re not getting visible, right? If we don’t show up, people don’t know about us,  right? So getting visible is, it’s a way of saying, I believe in my worth and I’m gonna show up and share my expertise, my voice, what I have to offer.

And when we do that, the thing is  we’re being open to receiving clients. Right, people coming our way. It also shows up in the way that we craft our offers, right? If we are crafting our offers in ways where our, we are putting a monetary value, and we talked about this earlier, but a monetary value behind the value that we are offering the other person, and there’s that exchange,  right?

That we have to make it easy for people to pay us. We have to make it easy. And the way we make it easy is by expressing the value of what they’re getting, right? So the receiving comes in. Again, we are open to receiving clients. How do we become open to receiving clients and opportunities? It’s not just clients, it’s also opportunities, right?

Opportunities could look like getting on bigger stages on any stages. It could look like being invited to podcasts. It could look like being invited into collaborations, right? There are lots of ways that that thing of receiving can show up in our businesses and there are some very practical doors that we can leverage to, to keeping that open. 

Right? Yeah. And I’m, I was thinking, receiving, we were talking about receiving help, receiving support, receiving other people’s input, receiving advice. Sometimes we are so wrapped up in our own story, wrapped up in our own, you know, need for control that we don’t let those things in and they can really get in the way of you being able to go after those things like money and clients and, you know, more, visibility, whatever the thing is, but  I was thinking more on on that, which is fun. It’s just really fun. And of course, I’m a marriage coach, so my brain always goes to like receiving the love, the validation, all of the emotions that, you know, you just naturally enjoy  when they are present, you know? Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

 And I think that that validation, like it’s a tender balance between looking at the results, right? And looking at what we create around us and the people who are giving us that validation, and also finding that validation from within, whether or not the outside world is expressing it.  Yeah. Yeah. 

Huh. This is such a great, you know, I love the tangents that we’re going on, and I’m sorry to all the people listening who are like, oh, can you just stay on topic? So we are on topic, but we’re doing it our way because this is what we’re up to today. And I’m, I’m grateful for all of you being here, really.

 Let’s get into more practical things. So I took you off a little bit, but we’re gonna back on the, the practical train. How do we practically prepare our, our bodies, our businesses, our homes, for the,  you know, receiving of the next level, whatever that looks like, you know, wherever everybody is. 

Yeah. Okay. A few things, and I wanna kind of actually look at this from energetic and the being space as well as the practical space because I think that and when I say practical, I mean like practical within your business. But on the energetic side, you know, we talked about  feeling worthy, right?

Really just deciding that you are worthy, that you’re enough as you are today with everything that you bring. There’s a concept in business that you just need to be two steps  ahead of the clients that you’re looking to attract, right? So, so knowing you don’t have to be Mel Robbins, if you’re looking to help somebody, let’s say relieve some anxiety in their life or relieve.

Like some stress around how they’re juggling everything in their life, right? You don’t need to be Mel Robbins. You can be somebody who is two steps ahead of the client that you’re looking to looking to attract. And so that’s where it begins. There’s also this idea of releasing this, this need, right?

Not just like needing or wanting, it’s an energy that is, that cuts us off from, from receiving and from abundance, right? Is like desperation. So  we wanna release that. And this is one of the harder energetic doors to open and to release ourselves of. Because  when we are in a place where we do need to receive opportunities or clients it’s really hard to, to. 

Reframe that and get to a place where we’re like, but we don’t want to come up in that graspy sort of needy energy. But genuinely, if we can lean into this idea that aligned opportunities are what attract our aligned clients, then,  we’re releasing the control around it, which is another energetic shift that, that helps us get into that state of being able to receive.

I am sitting here nodding. One of the, you guys don’t hear it, but I’m nodding. I’m like, yes, yes, yes. Because I totally hear that anytime I get this, like desperation or like grabby energy, I like nothing. Zero. My whole, like, my whole being drops and especially now and I’m like so super sensitive to all the emotions going on.

I really see it. I really see it. You, you very much  remove God from the equation when you go into desperation mode.  Yeah. ’cause we’re trying to, that is us showing up, trying to control a situation that actually we don’t control. Yeah. Yeah. And it’s amazing because we have, you know, we sit there like looking at the past, projecting onto the future, like thinking worst case scenarios and that’s not, not necessary at all.

Like, does not, is the worst way to use your imagination.  Yes, absolutely. So one of the practices that I invite my clients into and actually sort of like make them do   when we’re working together, but then most of them end up continuing on, like I hear from them after we’re finished working together, is showing gratitude. 

And it’s like gratitude for what already exists. I call it wins, right? Let’s honor the wins. They could be micro wins. They don’t have to be big. They don’t have to be something that you’ve shared anywhere else, but just taking a moment to honor and show appreciation for what does exist already, I believe is one of the greatest ways that we can open the flow of that abundance and  the energy of receiving.

  Hey, before we continue the episode, I want to ask you something. Are you ready to get answers from God directly, feel more in love with your husband and more supported than ever? Run the business of your dreams without having to sacrifice any other part of your life? That is exactly what my one-on-one private coaching is for, and I want to invite you, just you and me.

For a free deep dive discovery call, this is a 60 minute free call where I ask you lots of questions and we extract the three main things that are holding you back. I then put together a personalized plan for you where I create a roadmap of recommendations. With practical steps,  the call is free and so valuable in itself.

So go book yours today. Now back to the show. 

  I love that I’m gonna add something to this. ’cause it’s so important, you know,  in Hebrew, it’s called ha  or ha,  where you recognize the good, so mm-hmm. It’s, it’s almost like gratitude.  It’s even more basic. It’s the recognition of the good. So when you just notice, just recognize  it starts to turn on the gratitude, right?

Yes. This morning I was walking down the steps and I was like, okay, everybody let’s you know good morning. And I’m like in a really bad mood, so like, thank you God, that I have kids, that I’m alive, that I have a stroller, that I’m, you know, walking down the stairs. Like there’s so many things that I can recognize without really being in gratitude yet.

Mm-hmm. That can turn on  that  engine.  Hmm. I actually really appreciate that you just offered that up and in thinking about my clients, I think that could really help them as well, because a lot of them aren’t ready  to. To appreciate the wins that they’re experiencing. So even just by calling them wins, it is sort of forcing them into right and, and over time I see that they do adopt it, but I love this idea of just recognizing first, right?  We don’t have to put any emotion behind it, just, just look at it like very black and white. And there is always good, always,  you know, there’s a concept like in tzedakah that even, even the poorest of the poor have to give tzedakah. Like, it’s important, right?

Because everybody has something to give and we don’t have to measure it. We don’t have to measure like the way you’re able to give the worst, the way somebody else is able to give. Likewise, we don’t have to measure the way that we’re able to receive or what we do receive, right? Because what has been allotted for us is going to be different for each person.

 And it looks different. And it’s not all physical where we can understand it or see it in, in real time right here. Or where it equates to like what, what we’re seeing in our bank account.  But I think that getting to this place of recognition, it sends this, there is an energetic exchange that is happening in the, in, in our sphere.

And when we start to recognize the good, I think it just opens up our awareness to all. That is good.  And I think like these days with the hard times that we’re living in the, the scary world that we are, that we are finding ourselves in right now, I think it’s really easy to stay down in the dumps and to be noticing all the tragedy around us.

And, and it’s important to also take the time to recognize what is good. And I think that this is what keeps us above the line to be able to, one, continue to function, but also be in that, in that state of reception. For more, for more of it.  Yeah. I think, you know, you were just saying the hard times and I’m thinking the thing that that keeps my brother going that  I am just like blown away by the amount of,  well, you know, my, my daughter really gets annoyed when I say good because everything is good and we’re all in good.

But like, how good is it that this is how she was killed? Like, I keep thinking, could you imagine if, let’s say, you know, that was her, you know, her end of life was supposed to be that night and, you know, whatever. She could have died from, you know, childbirth. She could have been in a car accident. I’m talking about my sister-in-law.

But she wasn’t, she was killed by a sniper that was waiting there to kill very intentionally, you know, did it in the worst way possible.  And that  created the biggest light.  Like  when I was feeling for like two months, I was feeling there’s a breakthrough coming, there’s a breakthrough coming.

And it really bothered me  that I’m feeling this way. Like, oh, I’m, I was excited about a breakthrough. And then when this happened, I was like, oh, that’s the breakthrough. Maybe I shouldn’t have been looking so forward to it, but like the amount of people who were touched by her light  could not have happened any other way.

Mm.  And so, like in my mind, as much as like, it’s hard for me to say like, oh, I’m grateful my sister-in-law was killed this way. Like, that does not come out good. And it’s not what I mean, but my recognition of this is the only way it could have happened for this impact to really like blow up. Like she, her light went viral and that was incredible.

That was incredible. It gives me chills just to think of like all the people. Who connected.  Yeah.  It’s really hard to respond to that. Because I think, and I’m sure others who are listening are thinking the same thing, like your level of faith and belief in  Hashem’s Goodness.  And you know, I say things like I, I truly do genuinely believe that everything happens for a reason.

And I say this with regards to my life, right? And that sometimes the challenges that we’re facing in life  do not reveal in the moment  the goodness that is forthcoming as a result of that challenge. And I think, you know, sometimes it happens in this world, sometimes that we don’t see that until the next world perhaps. 

But your level  of faith and able to articulate.  How this works. And the truth of how this works  for you and your belief in how it works for all of us is  it’s astounding. And I find it just hard to respond to because, because  that is a level of receiving and acceptance and ability to recognize  the good hand of Hashem, good hand of God that I think so many of us are aspiring towards. 

Thank you.  Yeah.  It’s taken a lot of practice. You know,  we were laughing. Me and my brother and I we’re very close, so I was I was like, Hey, how you doing? You know, as if it’s like a real question. As he is like, yeah, I went to my psychologist yesterday  and he is like asking me how am I doing?

And I told him like, this is what I’m doing. This is what’s happening, and dah, dah, dah. And you’re like, there’s so much going on now. Right? It was like meetings every, every day and, and like all these things he’s doing, he is like, you know, paperwork and, and I don’t even wanna know, like, all the things.  And his psychologist is like, so, so like, how are you really doing?

And he is like, fine. You know, like, I just gotta get through it. Like life, you gotta live. Right? And he is like,  are are you crying ever? You know, do you ever get to cry? I was like, oh yeah, sure. In the middle of the night. Like, oh, okay, good. I thought you weren’t normal. You know? And so we’re, we’re laughing about this because on one hand  we’ve gone through so much, and especially my brother, like he has had so many  opportunities to grow this muscle throughout his life.

And,  and this just, you know, this just,  I feel like, you know how like there’s, okay, there’s this saying about why did the coffee spill.  Because that’s what was in the cup.   If it would’ve had tea, the tea would’ve spilled. And so like they were saying in that meme of like, whatever is inside you is going to come out when there’s a shakeup and you decide if it’s coffee or tea or orange juice or apple juice or whatever, like, you have to be conscious about what you are growing inside yourself.

So when this came out of my brother, I was very proud of him because I know the amount  of work he has put into himself and into his belief and into his,  you know, like the, it’s, it blows me away to see how somebody can go through so much and be so strong and fill himself up with so much God that when he spills, there’s just God everywhere.

Mm.  Wow. What a, what a vision and what a concept. Yeah. And and the fact that it hurts. And the fact that like our bodies, I was telling you before, like the mind is very clear,  but the body is having a hard time, so the body needs to go through the motions. And I was going, like, the first day I was shaking. I couldn’t stop shaking.

My body just didn’t wanna receive the information. It was like shaking it off.  It was very weird ’cause I’ve never had that effect before. Like I also never had to deal with this before. But anyway,  and also like the whole week or even the month I’ve been just drinking, drinking, drinking, drinking. I’m nonstop drinking.

And I feel like my body is trying to like wash off the news. Like it’s not real. It’s not real. So in the physical, like here and now, we’re definitely dealing with a lot of difficult emotions and our bodies are reacting to the resistance of wanting to believe it’s real. But anytime we start talking, anytime we  turn the brain on it, turn it takes over because that’s what. 

That’s what’s in there. 

There’s so many, there’s so many directions we can go with that. And I mean, I, I don’t even feel like we could talk about business. Like it feels trivial, but I do wanna say this because Yeah, let’s go back. Let’s go back because I think, well, I think a lot of times,  a lot of business owners do feel like,  how is it possible for me to show up in these times and to sit and talk to Bat-Chen Grossman, Rebbetzin, who. 

Who has endured what you and your family have endured,  and  there’s a lot of that. I think that there’s a lot of feelings of guilt for those of us sitting in my seat, and I hear this from clients, I see it in the way people, what people are posting online. Like, how am I supposed to post anything about business today?

And I want to share something that I share with my clients, which is that there’s, there’s always somebody out there waiting to hear from you.  There’s always somebody out there who needs to hear from you, not just waiting like they actually need you to show up today. And I don’t offer that  as pressure, right?

It’s not about, like yesterday I was really sick. It’s not about like pushing yourself when you’re sick and you needed to be in bed. Like there’s, there’s a level of self care that is, that should be intuitive. But unfortunately, sometimes we, we feel like we, we can’t accept. But  on the, on the just general, like average day, there’s always somebody out there who still needs you and 

we don’t need to like, equate our hardship with somebody else’s hardship. Like that too is not, it’s not. It’s not for us. It’s not what we need to be doing. We wouldn’t even know where to start to do that, so let’s just not even go there. Right. And I think, I don’t think it’s, I don’t think it’s even measurable because  any anybody’s experience is so unique that when you say, oh, you know, I’ve, I have it worse, or whatever, it’s like.

You, you don’t have it the same as apples and orange is like, not even fruit, it’s like a giraffe in apple. Like, it doesn’t, it does not compute because each person experiences their own experience differently and it’s also, their experience is tailor made for them. So it’s a very difficult thing to even say like, oh, you know, I don’t compare, or  my little problems like, you know, aren’t big enough for me to stress.

Like, no, you’re stressing for a reason. They’re your problems. Like it’s custom made. Yeah. You know,  my favorite example of this was, and I love talking about it because I love talking about my dear friend Meet your Blessed memory who passed away I think 13 years ago, or 12 and a half years ago. But I loved talking about her because she is forever 27.

’cause that’s when she died. And her energy, she was such a bright light in this world. But when she was dying of cancer, I had, I think my kids were. Two and a half years old and I have triplets. So we would talk on the phone and I’d say, how are you feeling? Blah blah. And then she’d say, okay, tell me about you.

How is everything going? And I’m like, seriously, I’m not gonna fetch about how hard it is to have two and a half year old triplets when you’re dying of cancer. And I would literally say that to her. We had such a raw and open conversations all the time and she said to me that same thing, Rachel, what I’m going through doesn’t make what you’re going through any less than Like it’s not,  that has stuck with me for the last, I think, 13 years because  I think it’s shaped my ability to be able to show up when there is so much trauma going on around me.

If it’s not, if it’s not in my small little lane, I feel like it’s my. Duty actually. Like it’s my job to keep showing up for those who still need us. Yeah. And  yeah,  and there’s, and there it’s just this whole exchange like we  Right. So we don’t have to equate it. Right. We don’t have to equate it. There’s no way to try to equate it.

But there is a role for us and this is where, this is where I think a lot of us need to really work on relieving and relinquishing that feeling that like, we need to be holding everybody’s trauma. There’s  a space for it. Absolutely. If you don’t think I’m affected by what’s going on around me, ugh.

I’m totally, there is a space within me that is carrying that and so difficult and it’s heavy and it’s hard, but I can’t allow it to be my entire being because it’s not all meant for me in that way. And I think like we each have our path and listen, I’ve had my fair share of hardship. I talk a little bit about it here and there.

I’m working on it in the book that I’m writing, but  I. You know, it’s not all that. Everybody’s hardship and trauma and challenges are meant for all of us simultaneously. And it’s such an important message that I think we all have to internalize.  I love that. You know, I went to treatment last week  and she said something so powerful.

She said, where there is pain, there is life  because, you know, death doesn’t have pain. Like, you know, you don’t feel it. So, so she said you have to feel the pain and you have to go through the pain to find the gifts, to find, you know, what’s coming, what’s what’s happening. And I think part of receiving is also being able to  go through the things you are going through in order to receive the gifts that come with it.

And it’s very hard to say. To someone who’s going through something hard and you’re like, just go through it. But really sort of like letting go of the resistance of like, it’s not supposed to be this way. You know, somebody is not supposed to be killed on their way to having a baby in the hospital. It doesn’t make any sense.

So that resistance of it’s not supposed to be this way and something is wrong and something is messed up and, you know, the, the lack of  going through it, like you can’t live backwards. You can only live forwards like this already happened. Mm-hmm. So it’s just part of life. It no longer  something I can control or change. 

Now I’m feeling the pain and I’m feeling the emotions and I’m going through the motions  of coming back to living my best life.  That’s where the gifts start to really come. Where you’re able to show up and like you said, show up raw. You know, I went, I came out with a sale, like I’m giving a free month to anybody who’s signing up this week because I want the light to continue shining.

And I know the work that I do is so impactful. And, you know, my sister-in-law, Tela, who was also in, you know, treating traumas and marriage, you know, marriages and, and  all sorts of.  You know, illnesses. She was so powerful in lighting up the world. She wouldn’t want us to sit around and cry. She’d be like, okay, get up people, let’s go.

Woo, boom, boom, move. You got a lot of work to do, you know? And, and I know that my work is to show up. My work is not to sit around and cry. So it actually fills me up when people sign up and work with me. So like, the best thing you could do for me if you wanna help me,  is just like, yeah, come work with me.

But also, that’s such a good shameless plug. That’s so good.  But also that’s you. Yeah. It’s, it’s, but that exchange is amazing, right? You’re like putting that out and you know, you know that when they say yes, you’re also gonna light them up from the inside out, right. And it’s like, it’s a win-win because they get a month off free.

I get to work with someone extra time, which I love, and I get to light up the world in memory of my sister-in-law on the baby, which is like something that. Is, you know, feels like this is what we’re here to do now. Like, it is like,  continue the legacy, continue the light, continue the goodness. She left my brother such a clear message of like, I want you to live.

I want you to live well. You know, like she used to always say like, if you’re ready alive, you might as well enjoy it.  Hmm. You know, like,  you have to go all in. You have to go all in on life. You have to enjoy everything you’re doing. You have to live to the fullest. You have to really show up.  And the way you’re saying, like, I’m having a hard day.

I’m not in the mood. I don’t feel like showing up. Somebody’s waiting for you. Somebody needs you. Somebody wants you to show up and say, Hey,  I’m here for you. I am, I’m in this world for you.  Yeah. And it feels really good.  Yeah. Yeah.  It’s, it’s, it’s so powerful and I know that it might be counterintuitive or  it might go against, you know, the beliefs that you’ve been led to, to subscribe to, right?

That like, the world is hard and that, you know, when hard things happen or meant to stay down. I’ve actually struggled to articulate this concept for many years because I have in my core just sort of operated from that belief that you know, the hard  is to propel us into the light right?

In some way, or to shine a light for someone else. Sometimes our heart is, is also meant for somebody else’s light  to shine brighter.  But  it’s a hard concept to, to adopt and to articulate and you do such a beautiful job of that. But what I’ve  seen in not being able to articulate, but what I’ve experienced is that it works.

It really works. So where’s the work? Like if you are looking for your business to grow and for your voice to be heard, for your light to shine brighter, right? We’ve shared some very practical things that we can do here, and it does start from the inside out. It does start with that inner work of shifting the energy and the the faith, right?

Really leaning into the belief that you have a, a very special, unique path that was meant for you. And if you stay on the Derrick, if you stay on your path,  everything that’s meant for you, you will be open to receiving. And  yeah. So we talked about the energetic and we didn’t get to the practical, and I wanna just touch on that a little bit before we end.

What type of practical things can you tell someone who’s going through.  You know this like, ah, you know, resistance to receive, but I know that something’s coming and  what could they actually do? Like actions. Okay.  Okay. One, the gratitude, it is actionable, right? Mm-hmm. It really is actionable. It shifts the energy, but it is actionable every single day.

Notice three things. Notice three things that are good. Notice three wins. Again, they can be micro, they could be macro. It doesn’t matter  if you haven’t put any strategy behind your business, right? You’re clear. You need to be really clear on what you’re offering, right? When we’re not clear, we’re not open to receiving.

We’re not able to attract people who are wanting to say yes, right? We need to make it easy. That’s very practical. If your offers are messy, if you’re not able to articulate what they are, let’s get them dialed in. Okay? That’s a very practical tool that you can use. Boundaries, know what your boundaries are. 

And hold the boundaries and hold them and hold them. Right? Because we said this earlier, we can’t receive when we’re depleted. We need to know upfront, not when we’re presented with the opportunity, but upfront. What are our values? What are those boundaries? Where is our line of capacity so that we know  where, when we’re in it and when we’re starting to exceed it.

Right? Right. And that’s when we need to pull ourselves back in. Visibility. It’s a very practical pipeline to, to receiving.  We have to be visible. So where are you being visible? I often like to talk about aligned visibility or your communication love language, like you are an excellent speaker in order and somebody who can show up very naturally and just share your thoughts verbally.

Some people  feel more comfortable and are excellent at writing, right? Some people wanna be on big stages. Some people wanna be behind the screen. Think about where you are able to show up best and then lean into a visibility strategy that’s going to work for you. Okay? Any visibility strategy will work for your business and attract the right people into it, but it has to work for you for first and foremost, right?

So that’s another one. Systems. Systems support growth, right without them, things feel, feel messy, and when things feel messy and overwhelming, we are. Sort of sending out this message to the world, like, we can’t handle more, right? So we want to have systems in there. We talked about sometimes that means different levels of support, people behind you, a team, right?

Because when you are able to hold more, your business is able to attract more as well, right? And lastly, I would say ask for what you need. I think that this is one that can be very difficult for women in particular, but asking for what we need spiritually, strategically,   and when we  open ourselves up to actually asking, right?

I talk a lot about the give and get model. And the give and get model is showing up to give of ourselves, our expertise, our wisdom, our support, our affection, whatever it is.  And also get, and that get piece is, is so critical to that exchange. We have to be open to asking for what it is that we need and want to receive right now.

And when we put all of those pieces together, I believe that  abundant reception is just, it’s there for us. It’s there.  I love it. I love it. This is so fun. You know, by the way, that my biggest fear was speaking in public.  It’s funny now.  It’s funny now, but I was, I would freak out anytime I’d have to talk in public anytime, like more than two people, I would be like,  ah, I like shake and stuff.

Like, I could be cool when I’m normal with my friends, but like, as soon as you put me on the spot, I’d  black out. I made a big, it’s a big one for people. Yeah. I’m gonna go look it up. I made a video. If you go on my YouTube channel, one of the earliest videos is about my biggest fear.  Okay. And how I got over it. 

All right. Let’s link it in the show notes so all of us can check it out. Yeah, I will. Thank you so much for coming. Thank you for having this amazing conversation with me that went like a roller rollercoaster and is exactly what my life looks like now.  Thank you for having me. I appreciate being here and being in this space with you.

 And I think that there’s, there was a lot of honesty and just real authenticity to this conversation. And sometimes it’s messy. Sometimes it’s messy, but all the time it all works. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love it. How can people find you? Where can they, you know, work with you?  Thanks for asking. You can find me on my brand new website@rachel-lubchansky.com.

I’m sure you’ll put it in the show notes because my, my last name is a whole mouthful. I’m also on Facebook at Rachel Lo Chansky and LinkedIn as well. Awesome. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for the listeners for listening. Thank you to all those who came live. It is so fun and I look forward to seeing you next time.

Don’t forget to be connected for real.

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Can you share it with them?  I am Robinson Bat chen Grossman from  connectedforreal. com. Thank you so much for listening and don’t forget you can be connected for real.