232. How to Connect to G-d Through Breathwork

Transcript:

  Welcome to the Connected For Real Podcast. I’m Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman, and today we’re talking about healing and God. And my guest here is Chanie Rosenberg. Chanie, introduce yourself and let’s talk about healing and God. Okay. Hello. Thank you for having me on. I’m Chanie Rosenberg. I am a breathwork facilitator and life coach helping people connect to themselves, connecting to God creating a life that is aligned with that and finding purpose in their life. And yeah, that’s what I do. I have been a speech therapist for 20 years and still am. I’m just bringing it all together. And that’s who I am. Yeah. Let’s tell everyone how we know each other, because it’s really fun. When I have people who I’ve met in real life on the podcast, it feels very different than random people who I invited or which, sometimes I find cool people on the internet and it’s a first interaction. But here, we actually know each other for a while. So do you wanna tell them? I don’t actually … Was it like a couple years ago I met you on, was it a summit? I met you on a summit. I don’t remember which one, but I’m like, “Okay, that lady is cool. I wanna get to know her.” And I think I actually messaged you or emailed you and said, “Hey I would love to get to know you. I feel like, I don’t know, I’m drawn. I want, I wanna learn from you. I wanna be next to you or hear what you have to say because what you said was really just, it hit me. ” And that’s how I got into your world. I started taking your course the Calm Method, the weekly, I took that probably how many times? Three times. Yeah, the marriage breakthrough retreat. That was awesome. Yeah, the marriage breakthrough retreat. And I actually I use that calm method throughout my daily life. And it just it’s I hear your voice in my brain and I bring that into my breath work also. Really that’s the same thing, yeah. And I have to tell you guys, I met Chanie when she was transitioning. So it’s really been beautiful to watch you going from speech therapists and your specialty within that helping people, process what’s happening, not only with their speech, but also all the other things that are changing in their life. I think if I remember- I’ve been … Yeah I’m a speech therapist. I’ve specialized in helping people with dementia and Parkinson’s and neurological diseases really just manage and live their best lives in their end of life stages. Yeah. And I love that because a lot of speech therapists are working with kids and working with people who wanna change their accent or whatever. And it, the things that you were doing just felt so, so interesting to me, because when we were talking, we actually got into a really cool conversation about how to build your business, how to grow it, how to, because it was already really doing well, and how to transition it. And what you’ve done with it is realize that really what they need is a more holistic approach. And there’s a lot of, of the coping mechanism around just the speech. It’s not just the speech. It’s everything that’s happening within that. So I have been really enjoying your journey, and I’m sitting here on the side going, “Ooh, she’s doing it. ” Yeah. I actually have a client now who is a speech therapy client that I’m not doing classic speech therapy. I’m using all my breathwork and coaching and holistic approaches and it’s beautiful how they’re actually tying together and I’m using all my tools, my clinical speech therapy, going to college, regular medical knowledge, and the back end, the holistic stuff. So it’s, it is beautiful. Yeah. Very cool. And then, by the way, when I went to to Lakewood for my speaking engagement, I got to meet you. Yeah. So that was a lot of fun. Yeah. Yes. A snow storm. And she went out in the snowstorm, just like I went out on the snowstorm. Was a very important snowstorm. I had to meet you. I had to meet you in person. I was very happy to see you. Okay. So let’s talk about healing and God, because every month we pick a topic and we talk about it from four different angles. We have, here in Connected For Real, I created my four pillars, God, marriage, business, and you. And so God is at the core of everything we do, marriage and business. They have to work together for you to have a good life. And then you are the container for all that holding all of the parts of you. And that’s how I built the structure of my podcast where first we talk about whatever the topic is as it relates to God and then as it relates to marriage and so on. So healing is actually one of the coolest months, I think because of the types of people I have on and the different angles that we bring. So it’s really very interesting, very varied, and I’m very excited about it. And I’m also proud of myself that I was able to pull it off, even though I’m marrying off a daughter. So I’m like, yay, we did it. So what comes up for you when we talk about healing and God? Really, what’s coming up for me right now is how my relationship with God with Hashem has changed from growing up younger years, even married years, till now, how it changed from being a God that is in charge of us, that we have to follow the rules. If not, we get punished, you have to be good or you get punished to, and really, yeah, to a God that is inside me, a God that is part of me, my soul is literally part of God, and we get to access that feeling and live our life with that feeling and how nourishing and supportive that is when we go through life, dealing with whatever it is we’re dealing with really as bringing God in as a partner as a support, as he loves me. Yeah. Yeah. It’s really going from, the Yira, which literally means awe, but a lot of people translate as fear to love, the Ahava, which is like really love. And a lot of people live for a very long time and most of their life and sometimes, their entire lives, believing things about God that create suffering, he’s harsh, he’s just out to get me you know? All these things that if you believe that, you’re really carrying a lot of baggage. And I like the term God- A god baggage. Yep. God baggage. I didn’t coin it. It was Rabbi David Aaron. Yeah. I think somebody told me that was him. I really like the evolution that you’re talking about. The more you try and the more you search and the more you look for it, the more you will see the love and the real presence of God in your life. I’m really connecting to that. It’s very beautiful. Yeah. When I think of healing, I think of the process of going from an open wound to something that has been brought back to some sort of closure sense. So sometimes there’s still, it’s not perfect or it’s not the way it was or it has, leftover whatevers, but it’s not an open wound anymore. Just like I think of, physical healing, I think of emotional healing and spiritual healing. It’s a process that you go through. It’s a process that life takes you through and when you lean into it and you bring God into it, I feel like there’s a lot of potential healing there and also just natural healing, god created this world in a way that allows for that. Like even just when I have a training, a whole training called How to Run Your Business like God Runs His World. And I talk about … Yeah, I know. People sign up for my program just to get access to that course. And we talk about time management and why God created time and why is time, here to begin with. And we talk about delegation, we talk about systemizing your business. Like we talk about a lot of different things, but like really from the aspect of let’s look at how God does it first and then figure out what’s actually gonna work because all these big words and fancy systems, they’re not really grounded in what we value. So anyway, when we talk about time, why did God create time? It’s really so that we can see a process, so we can, really process in our minds the stages, because if there wasn’t time, it would all just be like a big mush. We wouldn’t really be able to connect to that process, the progress, the, being able to look back and say, “Oh, that’s where I was and that’s where I am and that’s where I want to be. There’s something really powerful there. Yes. And being okay with the time that it takes and your process is different than the other lady that’s next to you or the other person, it’s, this is your process and … It could take quick, it could take a lifetime and just you’re in a process and it’s going and it’s happening. Yeah. I also think that realizing that at whatever stage you are, you’re always healing. You’re always better than you were before and you’re always going in the right direction. And that’s something that I help my clients with a lot is just like collecting evidence that it’s not stuck, you’re not going backwards, we’re not back to square one. Like really you’re constantly moving in the right direction when you are intentional, when you can lean into God’s will, like where he wants you right now. This is- Yeah. Yeah. So I actually just came back from, I do breath work in a special school, in a boarding school for girls who’ve been through a lot of trauma and a lot of what I teach them and a lot of what I help them in the process of breath work is being okay that your session did not go okay or that you were all in your head and you weren’t able to focus. And it didn’t go as planned and just knowing that whatever you did, this is your process for today and you gained something just by being here. Even if you just listened to the music and weren’t able to breathe, you did it. You’re part of the process, you’re in the process of healing and being okay with where you’re at. Oh, I love that. First of all, I love the concept of having breath work as, you know as a teenager and it’s like giving a gift, how long did it take us to find all these different modalities that were actually helpful and weren’t making us feel like we were broken? And then also it brings me to what I just told my grandmother. It was really interesting because last week I was in a class and there were, it was, a get together and this lady was talking about the Tanya and it was just really interesting. It was very high level stuff, which I very much loved. And I was following along and listening to every word, and this lady next to me fell asleep. And my mother like elbows me and says “Look, she fell asleep.” And I said to her, “Her soul is right here with us listening to every word. Like she’s drinking it up. It doesn’t matter that she’s not consciously listening.” And then afterwards, at the end when we all got up and left, we were walking and my mother says, “Wow, you really are very tired.” And she says, “Yeah, it’s crazy though. I still feel like I absorbed something.” And I was like, “Yeah.” and that’s funny you’re, that’s, that’s exactly what a lot of ladies … I give weekly breathwork classes also, twice a week. Yeah. So ladies come, whether it’s the morning or the night I do one morning, one night, and there are times that a lady falls asleep. We go through a cycle, it’s a journey with music and breath and meditation. It’s really a beautiful journey. And sometimes after 20 minutes, a lady falls asleep and she, sometimes she feels so guilty and not guilty, so she feels so bad. She’s “I ruined my whole session. I paid for this and now my whole session is ruined and that’s not true. This is exactly what her soul needed.” Yeah. Whether she needed that deep relaxation or her body needed to be sleeping so her soul could still do the work. Even if she’s sleeping, it’s still happening. The meditation is going through the br- she’s still breathing. It’s still, her subconscious is still doing work- … even if her body is sleeping. Yeah. The first time I was introduced to guided meditation Avila was one of my favorite teachers, and she was the first one to introduce me to this. And she said to us that falling asleep in a guided meditation is your subconscious way of saying, “You’re not going there right now. You’re just not ready.” it’s better for you to just rest and take it easy than to go deep and go do some like hard work. And I love that. It was like, wow, if you trust your body and you trust your mind and you trust God to know exactly what you need right now for your healing and not try to control it with your brain and say, “This is what I’m supposed to do right now.” Just like be in the present with whatever’s happening, like the trust that it takes to lean into whatever your body says to do and thank God you’re not really in control when you’re subconscious you know, like it just does it automatically and it says, “It’s better for you to just rest. It’s all cool. I got you. This is the work you need right now.” it is so powerful. And also I was mentioning it to my grandmother yesterday, was it yesterday? We went to visit my grandfather and he is not doing so well. Please God, he should, live and be well. But he’s, he’s old and he’s in a bed with this he’s like coughing a lot. So they gave him this mask with the inhalation thing. And then so they put the inhalation in, it bothered him, they took it out, whatever. And my grandmother’s like, “He’s suffering so much. I just feel like there’s no point. Like he’s not really here with us. Like we’re trying to wake him up to tell him that there’s a wedding. My, my daughter came special to, to tell him that she’s getting married, you know, the countdown.” So it’s like one of the things she wanted to do was just like, go there. Anyway, so he wasn’t even able to get up from the bed or to have any interaction. And sometimes he does. Like he goes up and down, I know you get this because you, this is your specialty. But anyway, so it was hard to watch. My grandmother is looking at this and she says she feels really bad for him. Like she almost doesn’t know what to pray for anymore. And I said to her, no, this is exactly where he needs to be, just because he is not fully the way he was or the way you want him to be, we have all these like fluffy images about like how it’s gonna be when we’re old and how we’re gonna do all these things. So like, you know, in 91, you know- … mm-hmm. … it’s getting, It’s getting old. And I said, the fact that he’s alive, the fact that he’s with us, the fact that we could come and visit him, that is his presence right now. That is all we need, and that’s all he needs. Yes. I feel like just taking away the expectation of somebody’s performance of like you have to be a certain way, just be who you are right now in this moment and we’re gonna be okay with that and we hope you’re okay with that. And then we’re all good because I don’t actually think he’s suffering. Obviously if he was suffering, then, whatever, but like- there’s a difference of him being in pain versus him just- Right. …… being out of it and not being able to- He’s just, he’s just “Stop moving me. Stop bothering me. Yeah. You know? Like, Hey, he’s just so sweet, so cute. And it, it really is very hard to see someone who you know and you have memories of and then it’s not- Yeah. … different. I’m feeling you a lot like, I actually have kinda both my grandparents, 95, 96 years old. So I’m in that place also- Yeah. where you see the physical and the mental, emotional decline and it’s, it is so much harder for us the kids and the grandchildren to see that change than it is actually for … I mean, That’s what I believe. I do think that they are s- there’s physical pain and the confusion that could be very hard for them, but for the caregiver, I know I’m like, are we going to that route? The caregiver of someone with this chronic illness and end of life, it’s just, it’s so hard for them. Yeah. I know I see my mother, I see my mother just struggling and working so hard and dealing with that emotional pain and the actual physical labor of taking care of them, but also the deep emotional pain of this is not my parent and like I have to take care of them now and- No, I had a download that was really cool and I was like, “Wow, I don’t think anybody ever thought of this, but like maybe someone did.” But you know how like the, there’s a, one of the biggest commandments is to respect your parents. And anytime I go to my grandparents, there’s this like time warp that happens there. You go in, it could be eight o’clock, it could be 10 o’clock, it doesn’t matter what time it is. You lose track of time, everything works slower, nothing moves the way you want. If you wanna be somewhere at 12, you better leave at nine. There’s no, nothing moves and everything’s so complicated. I, every time I feel like I’m going and I’m losing time, really. Like I am consciously knowing that I’m gonna end there and I don’t know where my time went. Like I look at my clock and I’m like, “What? It’s 1:30 already? What happened to my day?” But isn’t that amazing? It is amazing. It’s like the real life extra stuff and structure and things you gotta do is just a way and like now it’s just me and you. Yeah. It’s like soul to soul. It’s like- But it’s so difficult for a young person who’s “Tech take, talk, talk.” And like you’re going from one thing to the next and then like you are doing one thing for a long time and then you are moving again, “Oh, I need to put on my shoes. Okay, here we go. ” You know? Very, very interesting. And I find it a little bit, comical because it’s bringing in different ages we have, thank God, four generations, so there’s a lot of sandwich and there’s a lot of this mishmash and every age and every stage and their expectations and what they think they need to be there, be when they’re there and how, what they expect of themselves and what they expect of the situation. It’s just very comical po- personally, I find it interesting. And then I thought about the commandment of respecting your parents and the, I guess the reward that God promises to people who respect their parents is that they’ll have a long life. And I thought about it, I was like, God is basically saying, “Don’t worry, I got you. All that time that you thought you wasted or that you thought you lost, it’s gonna come back to you at the end. It’s all gonna work out. I have it all, calculated.” I thought that was so cool. I never heard that anywhere. I never did hear that. Yeah, but I just like, it just, it hit me in like that moment where I’m sitting there going, “Wow.” It, it really is so cool to, to realize that it’s all so orchestrated, so beautiful. Thank you, God. And to be able to actually sit there and be in that moment of presence- … without feeling like you have to run and without them feeling like you’re in a rush and you have to go and you have a thousand things to do- you know how valuable that is for, what are you look- just that connection that, I know my grandmother has dementia and she doesn’t remember a lot. I don’t, I don’t even know if she remembers my name, whatever, but when I go visit, it’s like everything else is stripped away and it’s, she remembers me. She feels my love. She just, we feel each other, and just she’s calmer and there’s this connection. And however long I can stay, I don’t know, I live two hours away, I don’t get to go too often, but yeah, being able to just be present and not care about that time and everything else is super valuable. Yes. How did we get there from healing? I know, yeah. Are we talking that’s like our, am I supposed to be supposed to be going back to speech therapy, to dementia work, to Parkinson’s, but I think that this is where my work is somewhat going, is really bringing breathwork and bringing supports for caregivers so that they can help support their parents, their spouses who are struggling with dementia or end of life situations or someone with Parkinson’s who is struggling with, you know, Parkinson’s or any neurological issue. The coolest thing is that I’ve seen your journey and it almost is going back to where we started, where when I spoke to you about what do you actually wanna be doing? And you’re like, “I don’t know, I’m not sure if I should stay here, not stay here.” But this is exactly what you were describing to me is like- I treat the old people and I also want to give support to the caregivers and all the people around. And I have the skills and the tools to do that and I just don’t know how to put it together. And I said, “You’re going to figure it out because you have it. You just have to pull it together and you’ve done it. ” and really what I’m noticing a lot is more than just who I’m helping. It’s what I’m able to do and to bring to a woman, whether she’s a caregiver who’s 65 years old, helping her parent, or she’s a caregiver helping her family, or she’s a teenager, or whatever age she’s at, to be able to give that presence, that connection, that calm, the nervous system regulation, being able to just shut down everything, all your distractions, all your beliefs about yourself, let go of some of that pain and just connect, connect to Hashem, connect to your soul, connect to that place inside where from there is everything else can blossom. Yes. You’re talking and I started breathing more easily. When I think of the calm method, a lot of people ask me, step one is connect to yourself. And a lot of people ask me “How do you actually do that? ” “I can’t. I can’t connect. I don’t know what I want, blah, blah, blah, blah.” And it’s because you’re still in the trying to figure it out with your brain. Go to a breath work and just- That’s what I was thinking about what we were gonna talk about. And then I’m like, “Okay, your calm method.” I’m like, “How do you connect to yourself?” that’s the first step. So when we go through life and we experience stuff and we experience trauma or we experience pain or we’re just we have emotions, regular life stuff it’s all sitting in our body. We don’t always have the ability to express it and to let it out. So we just sh- you know, stuff it down and stuff it down and it sits in our body and that just, it can cause all different things, pain and distraction and numbness and all anxiety, depression, all these things that can happen from all the stuff that wasn’t processed. And when we start breathing in and using our breath is the same Shoresh, the same words as Nashima and Nashama, we’re breathing in straight from Hashem, straight from God. As we breathe in, Hasham is breathing out into, straight into our soul, we’re raising the vibration in our body, raising the energy in the body, and somehow that allows all the stuckness, all the stuff that we stuff down in our body to just elevate and leave from our body. And with that, without all our mind and our brain and all our messy monkey brain stuff going on, we’re able to connect and to feel ourselves and connect to our nashama. And yeah I just went on a rambling stage, but- I love it. I love it. I don’t know if I made any sense, but that there’s just by separating from our monkey brain, from getting out of our mind and how do we do that through breath work, through deepening our breath, going through different cycles of breathing and, I have different ways that we do that, we get out of our subconscious, we get out of our brain and into our subconscious and tap into our Nashama. Yes. And when we tap into Anashama, that’s like when we feel connected, that’s when we have our intuition, that’s just, that’s how we- I would I would say you tap into your soul, but you also tap into your body, and there is a real wisdom to your body that a lot of people dismiss thinking that maybe your body is just the, the vehicle that you’re riding in this world, and it doesn’t actually have what to add, but it’s just the thing you need in order to live. And I think that’s a big mistake, and it’s a disrespect to the body. When you realize that your body is actually part of the team, that it’s not, there isn’t a hierarchy, but, and we’re gonna talk about that next week also in Healing and Marriage. So guys, come back because it’s actually really great. I’m recording this one after that one, and so I’m already giving you a spoiler. There’s a really good thing I came up with that also, like a download that, that talks about that. But just, the way that you were saying we get to tap into our soul, but we also get to tap into our body. And there’s something really cool about our bodies, your brain, your mind, your soul. It can You can go past present future where you can be in the thoughts about what was and stressing about what will be and you could just like project into the future all the stuff you’re afraid of and you can go back in time and just like rerun all of the times where something happened. And so all of that’s creating suffering, right? Your brain is just all over the place. But your body can only be present. It does not have the capacity to go anywhere but the present. It can’t go back and it can’t go forward. It just is right now. And when you tap into that by breathing, by bringing your awareness to your body, what you’re doing is you’re forcing yourself to be right here right now. And everybody knows that’s really the answer. Like really, really, get out of suffering is to stop being in that past fu- past future loop. Past is what happened. Project. Future, I’m afraid that this will happen again. Past, this is what I’m afraid of, this is what I experienced. Future, I am afraid my kids will, experience that. So I am going to do whatever I can to, flip over backwards. We make ourselves crazy going past future. And if you could just stop and be in the present, you will see healing. And the beautiful thing is that the only thing that can really help you is your body. Like one time I was really in my head, really in my head. We were going through something so frustrating and so difficult and so complicated. I was constantly in my head twenty four seven, just trying to figure it out, control it, change it. How do I, what do I need to do? How do I react? Whatever. And I went to yoga and I could not get out of my head for the life of me. So as we’re doing cat cow, I have my hands down in front of me and I just started counting my fingers. I figured this is all I can do right now. I will just get into my body. So I started counting my fingers and looking at them. And anytime I got distracted and I started thinking of something, I’m like no. We were right here. Now we’re counting number four. Now there’s five. And now there’s another hand and one, and it sounds ridiculous. It sounds crazy because you, from a place where I am now, I’m like, oh, I’m not there yet, right? Like I’m totally beyond. But when you’re in that moment where you’re like shake, like you’re like this because you’re so All you could do is just count your fingers. So do that. If all you could do is breathe, do that. If all you could do is look at your feet and be like, “Oh, look, they’re touching the ground. That’s great.” it’s so powerful. So powerful. Yeah. And I think when we’re talking about the power of healing and especially when it, it comes to the healing in God, God is the source of all healing and he gave us these mechanisms to help us heal. So when you can lean into that, that’s where the magic is gonna happen. That’s where you’re gonna start feeling it. Yeah. So much of what I bring in and so much of healing is tapping into the body. And where are you feeling that now? Like your mind is “Oh no, I’m so overwhelmed,” or, “I’m so nervous about this. How am I gonna pay for this? ” Where are you feeling that in your body? Where are you feeling that? And your body is not at the same place as your mind. Your body is often seven years old or 12 years old or whatever. Like where did you feel that fear before? What is that fear of wanting, yeah. I do some IFS work, I do different inner child stuff also in my coaching and breath work. And I actually also do something called holistic pulsing, which is a body-based movement thing to help release stuff from the body. So I use the breath and I use the body and I use the mind and it’s like a full, whole picture healing process. I love that. Yeah. Yeah. So much of, yeah, our stuckness is just stored in our body. Can you come over here? Just like why are, why do you live so far away? I just need right here. Oh. I actually, there’s someone here who does the pulsing and is so cool to do that. She’s good. Yeah, I know. I got trained by someone there. In Israel? Yeah. I’m not like certified, so I’m not officially a holistic pulsing practitioner. Okay. But I can bring it into what I do. But yeah. Oh my gosh. She’s so good. So she explains it really beautifully, not, sometimes you just need to release it delicately and not have to push it out or force it. And I love that. I’m like yes. Because that’s very much in alignment. It’s so amazing. It’s just like that gentle flow, gentle rocking and pulling and like restoring that flow of life and vitality. And anything that is blocking that, that life force, whether it’s a, an old memory or a trauma or a stuckness in your body, it just rises up when, that comes out either as like a yawn or a shiver or a cry, whatever it is. It’s like your body keeps the score. Your body holds onto it. And sometimes it’s just the body that needs to release. Yeah. And I have people coming to breath work with just pain. Their body is killing them and they’ve been to physical therapy and it helped a little bit and then it stopped and they’ve been like, let’s bring in your breath and let’s bring in your body and actually let’s talk it out because we, it’s a lot of the pain is just, of course it’s the mind body. A lot of the pain is actually not physical. Even if it- I know. It is physical. Let’s make that super clear. It is physical. Yes. The pain is real. Yes. My hand is actually killing me and I know why subconsciously my hand is killing me right now. I’m- Right. …… not gonna go into all the details. It is pain. Yeah. Your back does hurt you. Yes. But why is your back hurting you? And just if you go to just physical therapy and just deal with that pain and not the subconscious what’s underneath that pain- exactly. Then it’s just gonna keep coming back if you don’t actually heal what’s underneath. Yes. So yeah, I love that. I wanted to just make it super clear that when we are saying your physical pain is in your head, a lot of people get really upset about that. They’re like, “But it actually hurts. It’s not my head.” It is. It’s physical pain. Yeah. We’re talking about the root is in your head. So the physical pain is physically hurting you and the root of the physical pain is in your head. So there’s something telling you, “Let’s make sure that you are distracted from whatever you need to be doing and feeling because the physical pain hurts less than the emotional pain.” And I think that’s something that, people don’t really take the time to think about, but if I am feeling emotional pain that hurts so much, then having a backache is such a non-issue. Oh, yes. Compared, Compared to that. And your body really is trying to help you and protect you from feeling the real pain. And the cool thing is that, it’s not that painful if you give it space, like if, the work that we both do is just being able to feel and not being afraid of the feeling and not being afraid nobody ever died from feeling their emotions. That’s the whole work- Yeah. … is being able to quiet down, connect to yourself and listen to the pain. And sometimes the listening to that emotional pain is just, it’s, they learned from long ago that it’s just too hard. It’s too painful. So what do you do? So rather f- feel the physical pain or rather just numb yourself out and feel nothing at all. And then you just go through life numb- Yeah. … and just doing the actions and, doing the carpool and the supper and the homework and the this and the that without feeling anything. So if you don’t allow yourself to feel the hard stuff, you, if you don’t allow yourself to feel like, oh my gosh, this life is so hard. It is it’s actually very hard what I’m going through. If you don’t allow yourself to feel that, you’re also not allowing yourself to feel the joy, the aliveness, the presence, the connection, and you just go through life on that low level numb. Yeah. So what we do in, what we do in breath work and what we do is just give you that space to feel, let these emotions come up. You’re in a safe space to feel whatever you have to feel. All those emotions come out, you start crying, you start laughing, we st- we dance, we move, we … It’s like a whole journey and all this stuckness comes out, but then after that is the real magic. It’s bringing in that aliveness, bringing in that, that God, like Hashem is with me and you just feel amazing. You feel alive. Yeah, totally. I have to tell you thank God my brother is engaged, the one who- yes. … the one whose wife was murdered. And so nine months ago when she was murdered, the month before that, I went to breath work and I felt like every single one of us said that we felt like God was preparing us for something big. That was the thing that made me able to stay like half here. I think it was obviously difficult and I, wasn’t fully functional or present, but it was so amazing just to think of the fact that I went to breathwork just a month before and I went through my entire experience with death and why we have to die. And I wasn’t with- Wow. And I had to sit down and feel that and, you know, I cried and I cried and all the people I had to, lose and whatever. Like I really processed death. Oh my goodness. And it was crazy. Who does that? Who has like- Yeah. Who takes the time to take a whole day off from work or from everything you’re doing, go to a retreat thing that just focuses on breath work and, processing and then whatever comes up for me is all this death stuff and then suddenly I have to be faced with, the actual super tragic baby and wife and this and that, whatever. So it feels great to be able to say that he’s engaged now because I’m very proud of him of how he dealt with it also. He also says he was feeling like God prepared him with all of the trust and faith classes that he was listening to on YouTube. Like he says, “I don’t know what got to me. I just started listening to them all the time.” It was just fascinating. Every single one of us said that they were feeling something that was preparing and like you almost put it, like you can only see it when you look back and you’re like, “Oh, that’s crazy.” But yeah, the breathwork really does something that I think is hard to find in other modalities, which is like the flow, the ups and downs, the flexibility, just like the whole gamut of whatever’s showing up right now, that is what is right now. And you could be laughing and crying and upset and, and then the next minute you’re like totally like confused at why you were upset. Like the whole thing is just, it’s great. It’s great. Yeah. And all is welcome. It’s all- It’s all. There are times where we’re rolling and laughing and then there’s crying and screaming and it’s just it’s all just one big just beauty, you know? yeah. And I think the coolest thing is that what we’re talking about is being present, just not trying to be where you’re not, being completely where you are and that’s the healing. The ability to stop trying to control the world because there is a God and he’s in control and he’s doing a very good job. Yeah. And that, yeah. This whole breath work is, it’s a complete … Maybe not everyone, not, maybe not every facilitator leads a spiritual breath work, but what I definitely bring in it’s like a, it’s a Tephila. It’s a prayer. The whole breathwork experience it’s a process where you come in, a lot of the women come in just feeling overwhelmed, numb, life is just like a never ending hamster wheel. Just keep on going. What is my purpose in life? Is this just like suffering? Just, it’s hard work. All these relationships and kids struggling and str- you know, relationship problems and money problems. And it’s like, this is just horrible. What on earth is this? Or they’re just not feeling anything and then they come and they go through this process. And some people come once a week. Every week they come and, and- Oh, if I, if you lived here and you had a one-week class, oh, you better believe I would sign up. I have ladies that are religious I’m not telling you to stop your therapy. I happen to think, breathwork goes hand in hand with therapy and it helps cement the therapy and bring it into the body like 1500 times, but I have ladies that did stop going to therapy and they come to breathwork every week, cut down their antidepressant or anti-anxiety and this is their medicine and they’re just, their lives have changed. Their lives have changed from being alone in their suffering and their struggling and everything is to like, “Huh, I can breathe. Hashem is with me. Hashem is and not just knowing in your head, yeah, Gamzula Tova, Hashem is here, Hashem is there.” no, Hashem is in me. My soul is a part of Hashem and he is walking with me, guiding me on every step of my life. Yeah. And my struggles that I am going through, I may not know the reason, I may know the reason, I may not know the reason, I probably don’t, but I know that I can just put my head down and God is leading the way. And when you have that in your bones, in your system, it’s just, it’s a little bit less suffering. Yeah. It’s a little bit less painful. Yes. It’s a lot less, definitely. It’s a lot less painful and it’s still there. You’re still struggling with that thing, but you can be okay. Yeah. You know what? And I, you’re saying you could still struggling. I’m even gonna go farther and say that you’re going to be able to turn around the struggling to actually see it as a gift. And a lot of times I see that in my clients. I do guided meditation, it’s different, but it’s similar- I do guided meditation in my breath work, so it’s definitely- yeah. … part of it, yeah. You know, Similar things. I, I have my method, which is really amazing. One of the things that came up for me as you were talking is a couple of people who I’ve spoken to lately, and specifically I’m thinking of one lady who says, “I really am not the type. I can’t.” Anytime they tell me to start breathing, I check out, I just can’t do that. And I think that, there are people who might be listening and being like, “Yeah, if I was that type, I would totally sign up.” And you’re talking to the choir type of thing, the whole choir’s gonna come over and be there, but the people who aren’t really into it or haven’t experienced it, they’re not really that type, they don’t fit in, they’re feeling very external from what we’re talking about. What can we tell them? How can we help them like, approach it differently? Yeah. There are a lot of people that are not willing to even try, first of all, or ready to even try because you are forced to look inward when you do breath work. So that, that is one thing to put on the side, and sometimes it actually is you’re not the type, you’re not I feel like I’m rambling now, but all I can think is- I’ll tell you what- what breathwork is. Breathwork is not, doesn’t have to be some long journey of an hour and a half, but yes, I do breathwork classes, but breath work is just bringing a relationship to your breath. So if you can even connect to your breath, what, what happens when you breathe? Your breath is a tool that can help change the state, if you’re highly activated and nervous, your breath can help you calm down. If you are sleepy and depressed, your breath could help you, depending on what kind of breath you use, your breath can help you feel alive and activated. If you’re feeling slumped during the day, I’m so tired, I I’m not creative, your breath can help you, changing your breath can help you feel more alive and creative and alert and you can get downloads. And so really just getting to know, have a relationship with your breath, whether you’re coming to breath work class or not, whether you just knowing that you can have a relationship, whether you’re in, in, in bed and you can’t fall asleep at night, right? Your mind is racing, you’re thinking about this, that, and the other, the money and the kids and the this and the that. You can just connect to your breath. You do one of various exercises, just breathe in for four and out for eight. That’s just something simple, in for four and out for eight, do that for two minutes and you’ll just start calming down. And once you could actually relate to your breath and realize that your breath can be a tool for you, it doesn’t have to be a deep process that you’re gonna open up old wounds and have to go inside to all the stuff that you bury deep and all your trauma and all your pain and all your suffering. It doesn’t have to be. You could just take what you need. Yeah. I love that. So two things come up for me. The thing that I wanted to say about, this specific lady, but also I want you to start thinking for, after I’m done talking of what practical ways we can help women who are feeling sluggish in the middle of the day. Like you said, use your breath, having that feeling of “I really need a nap. I need to shut down. I’m not capable of continuing this day, but maybe I don’t have a chance or maybe I can’t or maybe I’m still watching kids, whatever.” So that’s gonna be your next assignment. Because I like it- I get the answers already. Yeah, I know. I got the, I got, I like being practical around here. And then what I was going to say about the lady, which I actually told her, is that she thinks she’s not the type or she doesn’t want to go in there because it’s too scary and awareness that, you’re scared, but not only, you’re not only scared of your inner process, you’re not only scared of your own emotions, you’re scared of connection. Yeah. Like you’re saying, it’s all the same coin. It’s just the two different sides of the coin. Yeah. You’re, you’re not experiencing sadness, so you’re also not experiencing the happiness. So the same thing, you’re scared of good things, you’re scared of- Yeah. … successful, you’re scared of having a loving relationship, you’re scared of being happy, you’re scared of things working out. So your brain is constantly coming up- Yeah. … ways to check out so that you don’t have to deal with that, but it’s not your desired result. So- Yeah. A lot of times it’s just easier. It’s like the unknown is scary. So- Yeah. … your hard suffering life is easier to deal with than to actually, how does it feel to actually feel alive? How does it feel to feel connected and good? That, that’s a scary feeling. Subconsciously, even though your mind wants to, your m- yeah, you wanna feel good, you wanna feel connected, you wanna feel light and trusting, but subconsciously it’s “Oh no, that’s danger. That’s a change. I don’t like change.” Exactly. So what I told her is that I actually don’t think she needs to sign up right away. I think she needs to wanna be ready. Yeah. Like until this point, until the point that we were talking, she signed up for a discovery call. I helped her find what the root problem is, which I do with everybody for free if- definitely come sign up for a discovery call. We went through what she really wants and how, how I would tell her to get there. And then she said, “I didn’t even think it was possible.” her life is so hard and so difficult. There’s so much trauma, there’s so much baggage, there’s just so much of that looping belief that nothing will change, that having this sudden open door of “Yeah, but if you come through here, we can actually help you. Okay, that’s enough for today. Bye. Knowing that it’s there, putting it on the side and being like, when I’m ready- … I know where to turn, but I don’t think she was ready because she was still too shocked to believe that there was a way out. Yeah. So step one, awareness that there is hope, that there is what to do, that when you are ready to tap into something deeper or something more interesting, maybe an experience that you’ve never experienced before, it’s here for you, but also no pressure to have to sign up tomorrow, no pressure to have to jump in all the way, to commit to anything. Just knowing it’s there and trusting your body, like we were talking about before, that full trust that if my body’s falling asleep is because it’s protecting me and it’s okay, and this is exactly what I need right now. So when my body is ready, it will let me know. I will feel ready. I will know it’s time. And it’s very interesting because I remember signing up for one of my earliest masterminds that I paid the most amount of money I’ve ever paid in my life to be in this mastermind and I was petrified, but petrified does not mean that you don’t feel ready. It just means that it’s scary. Yeah. What you’re doing is scary. I went to my husband and I said, “This mastermind will lead me to becoming a leader.” And I know I need to be that. I know I need to lean into that, but I’m so scared of being a leader, I’m scared of what people are gonna think of me, I’m scared of saying the wrong thing and people judging me and all this stuff. And he was like, “If that was, if that’s what you were made for, then this is what you need to do. ” And it was so clear and even just the fact that my husband said that, which was like so not character of, spending so much money on something so ridiculous it changed my life to sign up, not even to do the course, not even to be in that year long program. It changed my life to step over the line and say, “I found something that I know I’m ready for, and I’m actually taking the step to sign up.” That in itself, that was all I needed. Of course, technically, I learned so much and I did- Yeah. … Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But, and I say to my ladies also as soon as you sign up and as soon as you are committed, you feel it. Your whole body just has this like, “Oh, wow, look at what I just did. I committed to myself. I signed up to become the person I want to be. ” Yeah. I walked through the door of hope. Hmm. It’s like, I can change. My life can be different. Yeah. Even if the past 40 years says otherwise that my life is just rotten through and through. It’s that step over of okay, I can change that. There is hope. Yes. I know it’s- and we can, and if you’re having that fear, if you’re having that, that’s where … I know I have a lot of my coaching clients are in that fear of sitting with the feelings and going inward. And breathwork does bring up a lot of anxiety and panic and the body shuts down, but there’s ways to taper it and there’s ways to train your body to build capacity to sit, to quiet down, to sit with the feelings and develop a desire for something more, and help build that dream of what you want and take the steps that you can. But it’s building that inner capacity of “I can be here.” It’s scary, yes, and we talk to that fear, we talk to that fear, what is it afraid of? What is it afraid it’s gonna happen? And we work with it and we help build, back to your grounding in the body. It’s every time you’re feeling that overwhelmed feeling of, of that scare, that fear, it’s like, “Okay, now let’s put your feet on the ground. Let’s take a deep breath and come back to the body and help build that capacity.” Yeah. Yeah. So I love that you said just knowing that all you need is to become aware of your breath is enough for someone who isn’t used to it to try and start in baby steps, which is really great advice because I feel like, that’s where everybody starts. It’s just oh, I actually can control my breath. It’s not a heartbeat that I can’t control. There’s certain things that are a default and it’s like behind the scenes working for me. And then there’s things that I can turn onto intentional. And it’s very cool because the breath is one of those things that is always going. You’re either conscious or not conscious of it and nothing happens if you’re intentional and then suddenly forget or get distracted because your body still will just catch you and continue breathing, it’s not “Oh, I started and didn’t finish or I wanted to do four eight and then I got stuck in the four.” “Don’t worry, your body- It’s all good. You’re here. You’re breathing however you’re following along great. You’re doing your own rhythm. Great.” it’s all good. You chose to be here that enough is progress, and one other thing that I wanna bring out is that a lot of people think, “Oh my gosh, breathwork, that’s for like woo-woo, strange, strange ladies doing these funny things.” No, we’re regular ladies. We’re regular people. I’m a mother just like you. We have a family, we have regular stresses, regular life. The ladies that come to breathwork are normal ladies. They have careers, they have families, they are not just these funny woo-woo, interesting ladies with hippie clothing. No we’re doing this together and you come on this journey and we do this together and it is s- it’s like a beautiful sisterhood, a beautiful sisterhood of we’ve got this. We’re choosing life. We’re choosing to live life. Yeah. And that’s what it is. You’re reminding me of the class that I signed up for. I signed up for a course this year. We’re learning to weave the. Wow. So they’re, they’re training 24 women in Israel to learn the entire process of dying the wool and then spinning it and, weaving it and creating the loom and everything from scratch. Not so much from scratch because we’re not starting from like the wool that, you know, whatever. We’re getting already- You’re not sheering the sheep. Yeah, I know. We’re not sharing the sheet. But we’re doing a lot of great stuff. And I really felt called. The whole time, they were sending out the flyer, they were talking about it, they were doing a Zoom about it, and I was like, “Man, the people who sign up are so cool. It’s probably all these ladies that have nothing to do with their lives, and they have time on their hands, and they’re so lucky that they can do this, but I’m so busy And I’m a mom and, or I’m gonna drive an hour and a half to some like Yahupitsville to just do this thing. Like who has time? Anyway, the whole time I was just feeling really jealous of them. I thought whoever is there is so cool, is probably so connected and so aligned and is like has no, nothing else to do with their life but to be like, spinning wool. Meanwhile, I listen to the Zoom call just to be interested in what they’re actually doing. And I hear them talking and I’m thinking to myself, “Man, if I could only sign up for this thing, like if I had less to do, if I was maybe 10 years older or if I had, my younger kids weren’t so young, like I came up with every single reason why I can’t go. And I’ll be honest with you, like I really believed it. I really believed I couldn’t go. And then one day I just asked myself like, wait, you’re so jealous. All these ladies sound like so cool. Why aren’t you one of them?” I’m like, “Yeah, why am I not one of them?” So I picked up the phone and I called the lady in charge who I actually knew from a previous workshop because she also teaches how to do the the Semolin, like the Soleit. So we went to a workshop in her house that was really fun, highly recommended if you’re in Israel or coming to Israel to visit. So I started talking to her and I said, “I don’t know why, but I feel called to do it and I feel jealous of the ladies and I just don’t think I’m that type and I don’t feel like I belong and I don’tda, whatever, like all the things.” And she’s like, “Sign up. Just do it. ” It’s gonna be great. I go once every two weeks in my car. I travel for an hour and a half each way to go and hang out with the most normal women. I showed up and I was like, “Everybody has kids. Everybody is like so cool. Everybody’s like me. ” and they’re not all like me because we’re all different, but like nobody had this glow around them that like they’re a certain type that this is what they’re doing for fun. Everybody has a life. And it was amazing. There’s a 16-year-old there who takes off once every two weeks at school because this really matters to her. And there is, a sixty year old there who’s really excited because this is giving her something that is aligning with her values beyond her work and everybody in between. And it’s such a gift. It’s such a gift. And so you’re talking about who are the types and should I really go and should I, and do I belong? And all this stuff and the noise and the junk that we have running in the background, and like just take a deep breath, take a leap. Even if it’s signing up for one class- Just try. Yeah. Just try. It’s hard for me to explain what you’re gonna experience, how you’re gonna feel. It’s like you have to just experience it. You just- Exactly. You’re gonna feel different. You’re gonna feel it. There’s no doubt about it and there’s, it’s … Yeah, you’re gonna feel calm, you’re gonna feel relaxed, you’re gonna feel like, what does that mean? You have to try it. You have to just experience it. And I feel like worse comes to worse, so you experience something that was weird. Yeah. Or you experienced something that wasn’t your thing. Like it’s not gonna do anything bad to you. It’s, it … And anything that happens, you’re like, wow, I tried something, it wasn’t my thing or I didn’t like it or whatever, but I tried it. Just I feel like with yoga and Pilates, you’re either one or the other. There’s something about the two of them that just feel like they’re opposites. I don’t know why. My mother used to be so into Pilates. So when I was growing up, I thought I was gonna be into Pilates because my mother loves it so much. I went to Pilates and I hated it. And it took me time to find yoga. And when I did find yoga, I was like, “Oh, this is why I hated the other thing because I really like yoga.” So it’s so funny because now I really like yoga and my kids hate yoga and they’re all- Yeah, they do Pilates, yeah. … and they’re all into Pilates. And I think isn’t that interesting, but really it’s because it’s your responsibility to find what you like. And the only way you’re gonna find what you like is if you try different things and if you figure out what, what feels good. And to really just allow yourself to feel that like I, I’m nervous. I don’t I’m afraid. I’m afraid to try it and just feel it and acknowledge that fear and then do it anyway. Give it a shot. I’m not telling you come to my breathwork, whatever. Try it. There’s breathwork facilitators all over the world. There are breathwork facilitators on Zoom, just try it. Yes. Yeah. And I have to say, I’ve done it on Zoom and I’ve done it in real life. Maybe me too. In person is so much fun because I’m a, connective person and I like community, but on Zoom was very powerful too. 100%. There’s definitely nothing like live. The live music and the c- like the energy in the room is just like palpable. It’s like we are all in this together. I’m like with you breathing, moving, dancing. It’s just like a connection of healing. It’s fascinating. But on Zoom also, I’ve experienced it’s so powerful. Yeah. And sometimes people are actually more comfortable at home when they know that no one is gonna hear them scream if they have to cry. No one is gonna, if they’re struggling and they’re crying, nobody’s gonna hear them. So like they could turn off their volume and they could put themselves on mute. So sometimes they may go deeper if they’re on Zoom. So each person is different. Exactly. Yeah. Okay, let’s get practical. I asked you a question and now we’re gonna learn what are we doing with our breath when we’re feeling really sluggish midday. What are we doing? Okay. First of all, turn on some music, put on some AirPods and get your body moving. First of all, get your body moving. One thing you can do is to activate is some, is the fire breath. You do yoga. So increasing that fast pace in and out, that will help increase your energy, increase your … Yeah, help get, help me get out of your sluggish. The kind of breathwork I do, I’m an elemental rhythm breathwork facilitator, so I breathe, help people breathe according to the elements. So we start off in earth, which is a full deep breath in for four and out for four, like full body, long breath in, long breath out. Then we go to water, which is in for two and out for two. Then as the song goes on, we go into air, which is in, out, in, out. And then the last 30 seconds of the song is in and out as fast as you can, that fire breath. Really activating, rising your, increasing your energy in your body, and then we suck it all in, you hold your breath, and you let it out with a hum. Mm. That’s one cycle of just basic of one of the kinds of breath works I do. And doing even one cycle of that, starting with full deep breath, quickening it up, and then ending with quick, that will just instantly raise your vibration, increase your energy. And yeah, but if you don’t remember any of that, even just quickening, doing in and out of your nose for 30 seconds, on some fast paced dancing music and get your body moving, that will just do it, or have a cup of coffee. Yeah, I was trying to avoid that answer. This is actually tea. It’s not coffee, but, you know- yeah. You can use your breath. I don’t drink coffee, and I, that was a conscious decision ever since I was little, because I saw my mother was so addicted to coffee. She doesn’t drink coffee anymore now, but at the time when I was young, she was so addicted that she could not start her day without coffee. And anytime there was a fast, she would have a headache and- Yeah. I saw the effect of having to be dependent on something external, and I said, “I’m never going to get to that point. I’m never going to- You never did.self drink something that gets me to a, into that. ” It felt like, it felt like- And it’s interesting, my, my two-year-old, my two-year-old, he see, he’s “When I get bigger, I’m gonna learn to like coffee like you. He sees my coffee is like my ceremony. It’s my time to unwind and put my feet up and drop everything that is going and give myself 10 minutes of just hot drink, coffee, and heaven. And my two-year-old’s “When I get bigger, I’m gonna learn to drink coffee with you. ” it’s interesting how the way you interpret what for sure. For sure. And you know what? I do that when I drink smoothie. Yeah. I look forward to the summer just so we can have smoothies and just sit there and drink them slowly. Yeah, favor. Uh Okay. So let’s wrap it up. What is something that comes up to you that you want to still say that we haven’t spoken about or that you wanna just, pull it all together? Suffering is a choice and you can choose to change that. Yes, you can live a hard life, you can have struggles in your life, but with the proper tools and support, whether it’s breathwork, whether it’s coaching, whether it’s whatever avenue you choose, you can make a conscious decision to live life and really enjoy your life and be present with your day-to-day life with joy. And this is Roch- it’s where an odds are now. Choosing joy. It’s choosing that, that, that decision to just live and to bring joy into your life. I love that. I love that. Turning the volume up on your joy, on your life, on your vitality. Yes, it is a choice, and we are encouraging you to choose something, even if it’s this tiny little one second of focusing on your body or a 10 second focusing on your breath, or an hour and a half session that you sign up for just because you heard it and you’re like, “Okay, fine. I’ll give it a try.” It does not matter what you choose. It matters that you chose something. Yeah. I encourage you to connect to yourself, connect to your body, connect to your breath, connect to God in this way that really helps you become present and then allows you to live forward. Yeah. And with coaching you can be taught how to connect to your breath and how you could use your breath to really create a different life. You’re done with the way you’re living life, you’re done just feeling like you’re feeling whatever that means to you and with your breath and with coaching, you can change that and you could really, yeah. Yeah. I feel like talking today about healing and God, the tapping into that limitlessness that we’re s- we’re feeling so, so limited in the options that we have, we’re feeling so stuck in the situations that we’re in, we’re feeling so suffocated by what’s going on around us, that being able to just open up the mind a tiny bit, just open up that tiny little hole in this facade that you’ve created, and it’s “Oh, there’s a light. Oh, there’s, there is something that is unlimited, something that is limitless and God has the opportunity to help me get out of here. God has the healing that I need and all I need to do is want it and search for it, seek it. ” I think that’s really the takeaway for me from the whole podcast topic of healing in God, is that when you tap into God, you no longer feel stuck, you no longer feel like there’s no choice, you no longer feel that. And instead, you go into this amazing opportunity of what is possible and what is available and people call it hope, really just creating hope and being willing to want it again. I think everybody- Yeah. … everybody wanted it at some point. And then they’re like, “Nevermind. Bye.” Yeah. And realize when you tap into that God in you, really your soul is a part of God, you are a part of God, it makes it that I’m not the one that, I’m not the one that’s gonna get me through this. It’s not me. It’s the God in me. It’s my soul Hashem wants this for me and- Yeah. … it’s him that’s gonna take us through. Yeah. It’s so funny because yeah it’s fascinating. But I really love having God as the core of everything I do. And in the beginning, I actually remember very clearly how scary it was for me to be public about my relationship with God. I want everybody to talk about God openly and not have to apologize and try to say God or the universe or whoever you believe in. It’s no, God. And that is what we believe and that is what is orchestrating this world and that is what we’re here for. And when you do that, suddenly everything just goes away. There’s no more confusion. It’s so clear. And the path is so simple. I think we’ve just overcomplicated everything by trying to be accepting of everything else. Yeah. This is who … Yep, this is our God. That’s it. Yeah. Plain and simple. It’s in us. Awesome. So okay, how can people find you? Where can they sign up to your stuff? If you live in Lakewood, New Jersey, please, you could email me, you could call me, my phone number. I don’t know how you could put it- Yeah. … in the email. We have all the links below. I’m on Instagram if you wanna follow me. You could just say hello, see, sometimes I offer some Zoom classes or some different events. I, I run retreats. I bring breathwork to retreats. So those are really exciting and yeah, you’ll be able to see what’s going on. Actually, we’re almost done our website, so once that’s on, you could check us out. My husband does this for men That’s so cool. Yeah, we’re the, this cool power couple. So he does the men, I do the women, and soon you’ll be able to see it on my website, and you’ll be able to see everything that’s going on. That’s amazing. All the links are gonna be below. If you are signed up to our email list, you’re also gonna get an email with everything. So thank you. Thank you for coming. Thank you for listening. Thank you. You’re welcome, and don’t forget to be connected for real.