222. How to Handle Changes in Your Business

Transcript:

  Welcome to the Connected For Real podcast. I’m Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman, a marriage coach for women in business. And my mission is to bring God’s presence into your life, into your marriage and into your business. Let’s get started.

 And we are live. Welcome everyone to the Connected for Real podcast. I’m Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman. I’m a marriage coach for Women in business, and today with me is Lesley Kaplan. Lesley, introduce yourself and then we’ll get into our topic of change and business and we’ll get, you know, I’m so excited.

There’s so much I wanna say. So Lesley, introduce yourself. Thank you. Thank you so much for having me on your podcast. I feel honored to be invited. So we’ve uh, moved in different circles and similar circles a lot to the last couple of years. I work with small to medium sized business owners, SMBs in terms of building and branding their business, empowering them, helping make good strategic decisions, making their businesses stronger, more profitable without a burnout, better productivity.

And I do this via one-on-one business coaching as well as with different groups that I run different workshops and I also run different networking groups. Some in person, some online through the Israel Networking Hub. Yeah, I love it. I was once your guest, so I, I know you have really cool people who come.

Yeah, especially you. Right. Obviously I was cool, but I also was there when some of the other speakers were, were there like different days and every time it’s fascinating. It’s really, really great. And I’m also very excited about the conferences that you run. Anyway. Everybody should follow Leslie.

Okay. Just saying thank you and Leslie. Yeah, there you go. Let’s get into our topic. So let me just give you a little bit of a broad view on what my podcast is all about, just so that the listeners get where we’re at. My entire business and podcast is built on four pillars. There’s God. Marriage business and you.

So God is at the core. Everything we do has God in it and we do it for God. So we talk a lot about God on this show, and once a month we really take whatever topic we’re talking about and see how God has to do with this topic. And then we do the same with marriage and business and you, because that’s all of the main parts of our lives.

Every month I pick a different topic so that there is a monthly topic and then it’s addressed from four different angles, which is really fun. And this month topic is change. And today we’re talking specifically about change in business and how business changes us and how we can deal with change and all of the things that come up with change.

So what comes up for you when we say change in business? Okay, so firstly, it’s actually one of my favorite topics. You should know. Believe it or not, most people are afraid of change. They stay away from change. Shy away, resist it, everything. Don’t wanna hear about the word change, okay? Especially if you are in business.

People I find are a little bit more open to change, but still the average individual does not like change. And even if we think we do, very often I believe that we say we do. And sometimes when something happens, our impulsive reaction is to say like, whoa, like to resist change, or to just like put it on hold and then we’re often more open to it.

So for me, change, as I say, being one of my favorite topics, not only. In my own personal life, but also, you know, with my clients that I work with during workshops I run. For me, change is represented firstly within ourselves as a person, and only then do I believe we can apply it to our businesses. I don’t believe it’s so easy for a person to apply to their businesses because we are basically, our businesses are an extension of us.

If we are people that do not like change or are not willing to make the change or see the benefits of it. Right. I so agree. I was just telling a friend of mine, if you really wanna change this, then you’re going to have to get the support so that you’re not self-sabotaging all the time, because she’s constantly talking about how she wants it to be different, but she’s staying in the same exact situation and it happens to us in everything, right?

So you don’t always need. Paid support. You don’t always need to get a coach or you know, a, a therapist or whatever. But yes, you do need to realize that your brain is trained or built to keep you safe and to keep you nice and, you know, centered and structured and not out of comfort zone like this is its job.

So in order to get out of that, hmm, you need to work a little harder. Exactly, and, and growth takes place. You use the word comfort zone. It’s also a word or a term that I like to use very often and business owners are familiar with the word growth takes place only when we move beyond our comfort zone.

If we’re feeling very comfortable and nice and pleasant now in, as they say, then growth is unlikely. To take place in that area. It’s only when we move beyond that certain point and each and every one of us knows what that point is, that real growth can take place both in our personal lives and in our business.

Yeah, and usually fear will point the way. Like the thing you’re afraid of is usually the thing that is pointing you in the direction of like this way, right? Because it’s scary to get out of comfort zone. And one time we had a guest who says, but it’s not comfortable. I am in this situation and it’s not comfortable.

So why are you calling it comfort zone? And that’s one of the main things is realizing that your brain does not care if it feels good or not. It cares that this is what it knows. And that to your brain is comfort zone absolutely. And while we’re in that feeling of not feeling comfortable, this is when if we’re wise enough to recognize it at that given time, to say to ourselves, okay, good.

That means that I have a chance of making a change and making a difference whether you wanna call a change or not. The other thing, which I wanna say, you mentioned about fear. We are all motivated by two primary things. The one is by pain and the other is by pleasure. So fear and pain often go together.

So for some people, the, the pain or the fear motivates them more and pushes them to make that change. And for other people, it’s more the pleasure. So each and us, each and every one of us needs to actually know what are the things that actually motivate us, whether it’s on the pain side or the pleasure side, and how can we use that to our advantage to actually make that leap forward in both our personal lives and in our business life.

Oh, I love that. You know, I really love the imagery of two people running. One is running away from a bear and the other one is running a marathon, and they’re both running just as hard, just as, you know, energized. Like they’re running at their 100 level. They’re not just, you know, strolling along. One is petrified for their lives, and the other one is running towards a goal, and that is exactly what you’re talking about.

It’s either you’re running away from something or you’re running towards something and you’re working the same amount. So focus on what it is you want. And go for that. It would feel better. Even though you’re working just as hard in your brain, in your body, it feels exciting to reach the goal as opposed to the guy who’s running away from the bear.

He’s afraid for his life and the anxiety, which is basically lives in the same place as excitement is taking over and it’s not pleasant. So I think it’s the same. You just, you know, sometimes we do the same actions. But the reasoning behind it, the motivation is different. So I like that. You totally different.

I agree with you. I agree with you. And you know, one of the things that also I find with a lot of people, and I’m sure you find it as well with your clients, is that very often people don’t know exactly what they want and we can’t actually make that change or work towards a particular goal or vision. If we don’t know exactly what we want.

Now, that may sound strange ’cause people can say, of course I know what I want. Okay, can you put it into words? Can you give yourself, you know, certain 1, 2, 3 points or action steps that can actually make the thing happen? And without knowing exactly what we want, you know, how can we achieve it? How can we make that change to make it happen?

Yeah, so you know, I have a method called the Calm Method, which is Four Steps to Creating Flow. And the first step is connect to yourself and know what you really want. And that’s exactly what you’re saying. And I even go further. I don’t even care if you can put pointers and. Tell me, describe what you want, but can you see it?

Can you close your eyes and imagine it? Exactly. Can you see it? I, I It needs to take over your entire body. Can you see it? Can you smell it? Can you feel it? It, it just has to take over your very essence. Yeah, it’s so, it’s so beautiful. ’cause once you do that, then you basically just plugged it into your ways or GPS or whatever, and your brain will know how to get there.

You know. I like to work with the brain a lot and not against it. Right. So when you realize how to change the mode from staying safe and not wanting to go out to, oh, I have a goal now. I’m focused on that. Now I want to reach it. Your brain is still working with you, but now it’s actually working with you and not head to head.

Absolutely that is so important. And as I said, you mentioned it too, just, you know, close your eyes, envision something that appeals to you, but then it is important following that to actually brainstorm ideas of how can I get to that goal? Because it seems more overwhelming if we don’t actually think about it logically and break it down into small steps and also realize that it’s not gonna happen.

Right away. We don’t go from A to Z right away. You could stop A, d and B there for a while. You may hop all the way to one of the next letters and each one at their own pace and talking of pace. That’s one of the things that I’ve found, and you may have found too, is that very often if we are not realistic.

With our pace. I talk a lot about smart goals, I’m sure that you do as well. I dunno if you wanna mention the acronym or, I’m happy to do so, but if our pace is not realistic or our goals are not realistic, then that can actually, you know, torpedo the entire thing. So very often not to just say, oh, well, you know, I’m a loser.

I didn’t achieve the goal. Well, let me see. Maybe I just need to give myself an extra month, or maybe I need to have some kind of extra assistance in order to make that change to reach the goal. Yeah. Ooh. So when I think of change and business, I sometimes think of how business changes us, and I would love to talk a little bit about that too, because, you know, there’s a lot of different directions we can go with this, but this feels really.

Interesting how a lot of people, and we spoke about fear, so this is why it’s coming up for me. A lot of people are afraid of what having a business or running a business or growing a business is going to do to them and their lives, and they’re afraid of that change. That’s a very good point. And if I think about myself personally, and you know, we’re both in networks where we know tons of business owners and obviously our personality and our, our everything depends on the type of business we’re in, who our target market is.

Whether it’s Israelis, whether it’s Anglos, whether it’s a service business, whether it’s a product oriented business. If I think of myself, from my point of view with my business, my business evolved over the years from one thing more to another. And that’s, you know, it’s also the idea of change, and we can talk about that.

In terms of, you know, growing with our businesses or the other way around, letting our businesses more adapt to what we want at any given stage in time of our lives. That being said, if I think of how I’ve changed as a person since being a business owner I’m not sure if it’s as a result of. Being in business or as a result of living in Israel, or Probably a combination of both because I started my business while I, after I met Aliyah, I’ve been in Israel 35 years, 30 years, almost 30 years.

Of that I’ve been in business and I definitely see myself as a lot more driven, a lot more assertive a lot more of overcoming objections. Than I was in my younger years. Look, a lot of it could come as a result of maturity in years two. I believe that I was always, and I, if I think back to other examples, I was always ambitious.

I was always driven. I was always, I would say pretty assertive. I can think of one or two examples though, that at the time. I kept quiet as opposed to speaking up. Whereas like now for sure, I would speak up. Like I wouldn’t think twice. Right. So I definitely think a business makes us a lot more assertive and obviously the environment that we’re living in you know, compliments that too.

Yeah. Wow. And I can think of other points too. You know, I think I’ve always been an organized person, but being a business owner, if you’re not so organized. And systematic, and we both know many business organiz or, or owners who are not so organized. But I think that comes with the territory too.

You know, we need to learn systems. We need to learn to prioritize a lot more. We need to learn what to say yes to, what no, what to say no to. All these things I believe have certainly impacted me, whether it’s a result of, as I say being a business owner, living in Israel, or also just maturing with age.

So would you say that it’s a change that is positive? Ha has, you know, positively infe affected your bus, your life, or a negative? Because I think what most people are afraid of, it’s going to impact me in a negative way. You know, it’s going to affect my marriage, it’s going to affect my parenting, it’s going to affect how much time I have for myself, or it’s gonna take over my life.

Those are the types of things people are afraid of. And I think it’s legitimate to be afraid of it because yes, it will impact your life, it will impact your marriage, and it will impact your family life. That being said, the amount that you let it impact it and influence it. Comes with wisdom and maturity in running your business.

If I think of myself, and I’ve spoken to many business owners, when I started off my business, I did not set so many, you know, borders and as they say, borders and choosing like when do I answer the phone? For what time do I answer the phone? I also had a US number. In the early days as well, so many people didn’t know that I was not based in the us.

And as time went on, also, also as I changed my business model over the years, I became stricter with that. So that’s one thing. That if we can try, be strict in the beginning, but it doesn’t mean it’s so easy because the difference, as we all know with being an employee is in most positions, unless it’s something that you need to take your work home, you leave the office at the end of the day and that’s says goodbye to you tomorrow.

But when you are a business owner, it’s not so simple. So it takes a lot, a lot of self-discipline. And I will share with you, I’m very disciplined in most elements in my business. With my work Life balance, I find it more difficult. It’s easier now that my kids are older and one of my sayings and my phrases is, work hard, play hard.

So I work very hard also into very often, you know, the late hours of the evening, but I don’t have any young kids in the house anymore. But I do play hard and take off time during the day a lot of the times. To be with my family. I have a senior father as well who needs attending to. So it’s about finding that balance and that comes with time.

So that is something that in the beginning, a business owner will find challenging and it’s just a matter of adapting to the new routine and trying to find, you know, the lines of words for you. Yeah, but what I, one of the things I love is that when I told you change in business and how business affects you and changed you, you right away went to the positives, the things that it, you know, forced you to become and pushed you to learn and allowed you to explore.

And I love that. And I feel the same way. I feel like you can either look at it. As, oh, it’s taking away my time for my kids. Or it’s, you know, a big part of my life and now I no longer have time for other things or whatever. But I also see the opposite where my kids are aware of the work I do and they’re proud and they’re excited.

And sometimes when we’re walking, you know, in Jerusalem, in the old city and people see us and say, oh, are you Rabbit Grossman? My kids are sitting there like, ah, somebody knows. Oh, so excited. They’re like, you’re famous. It’s so fun. And you know, famous, if you call that like one person recognized me in the street is, you know, that’s nice.

It’s nice to feel, but it’s fine. I think it’s important for our kids to see that because they know us in one role. Exactly. And our clients and friends often us in another role. And it’s important for that to see it, you know, especially when we’re working long hours or maybe not available for them. At certain times as much as we’d want to.

Right. And you know, you touched on the the half cup full and the positive attitude. I think that that is one of the crucial things about being a business owner, and let’s be straight, let’s be honest. Being a business owner is not for everyone. It doesn’t mean that one is better than the other. It’s totally okay to be a salaried employee if you are satisfied in your job, if that’s the way or your, your career even.

And you know, some people don’t wanna even touch on being a business owner, and I’m all for someone saying that I prefer to be the one. But if you are a business owner, if you decide to go that route, then yes, having a positive mindset, obviously with anything in life, especially with running a business, can actually literally make or break your business.

Seeing, you know, the whole, we, we, although know that image of, you know, the, the stepping stones in the water. So instead of seeing them, you know, as stepping stones, some, sometimes people see them as, you know, to fall between. So looking at the positive side, looking at them as stepping stones, looking at.

Failures as growth and steps to learn and knowing that actually making mistakes is one big way that we learn and one big way that we grow. And it’s nice if we can hear other people’s mistakes. And actually, I wrote two books. I’ll just mention it now because the one is relevant to that. I wrote two books.

In fact, you know what, I actually had them here. I wanna just hold them up if you don’t mind. Recently in the last year and a half, can you see them? One is Power Talks with Women Entrepreneurs. The other background is blocking it and the other is Small Business Success Toolbox and Guide. Here we go. Yeah, you can’t see it so well.

So the Power Talks with one Entrepreneurs. The whole idea was to learn from other people, learn what works for them, learn about their mistakes, learn what challenges they had. That being said, it’s fantastic to learn from other people and all our networking groups and everything. That’s one thing that we often do, do.

However, there’s nothing better than making our own mistakes, that we don’t actually repeat it, and that’s the important thing, not to repeat it. And having that positive mindset to move forward once we’ve made that mistake and allow that change to take place in whatever needs to be done. Yes. I remember when I was working with Debbie Sasson, that was my first, first, first business coach, and I made some sort of mistake and she says, now you squeeze that mistake for the $500,000 it’s worth, you know, and we made lists and lists of all the things I learned and all the things I now know, and all the things that who I became through doing this thing and now that I made this mistake, I learned about these other things that are possible and whatever. I feel so excited about the mistake anytime I think back because we were able to squeeze so much positivity out of it that it actually changed its essence.

Exactly. And that’s the whole thing. Yes. Make mistakes, however, learn from them. And if we find ourselves falling into it again, that’s where we’ve gotta catch ourselves really, really quickly to make sure that it doesn’t get taken to the next level, that it can be detrimental. I love that. I love that.

You know, I was also thinking just to go back to how positively it will impact my kids, or how positively it will impact my marriage. That is the reason why I was able to pivot. ’cause I used to be a graphic designer and I used to go to these networking events because I was looking for clients and you know, I had a service, but.

Very quickly I realized, I mean, I was working as a graphic designer for 15 years. I realized that most of the women who were sitting at my table were all afraid of growing their business because their marriages mattered more. And they were afraid that it will impact their marriage. And I came home and I started screaming at my husband, it’s your fault.

I finally figured out who was holding me back. It’s the husband. All these girls are all being held back. It must be this is the issue. And he says, I don’t understand what you’re talking about. And that was the thing that really started the ball rolling. Wait, so you are happy for me. You do want me to succeed.

You want me to make more money? Oh, okay. And then I went and I did it, and actually my marriage got better thanks to my business because I had that opportunity to have these hard discussions or, you know I guess that’s the word with my husband about something that was external.

You know, we are not fighting about something. That feels really, really like, ah, right here in our face. It’s like, I don’t know what to do about this in my business. I feel like I’m being held back. And that was a really great opening for a great opening and a discussion. And I’m gonna actually share something with you that I don’t usually share and I haven’t actually shared in public, certainly not on any podcast.

So this will be a first. Firstly, I’ll just speak more in general and then I’ll get more personal. I think before any woman or man opens up a business, it is applicable to both that you work with women. It is very, very important to have your husband on board if we’re talking about a woman or to have your family on board.

That being said, okay, because we all are, especially in the former years of starting a business. It’s very challenging. It takes a lot more hours. Usually in the beginning. Our focus is gonna be on that a lot. Very often it takes businesses time to know, get up and coming in terms of bringing in a decent income.

You could need to take out a business loan to start. In other words, we all know that when people start businesses, usually the money doesn’t come flowing in right away. It does take time to get going. And if you have a product oriented business, then you also have the additional expenses of setting up, whether it’s another office, whether it’s the products, whatever.

So. Number one most important is to discuss your goals with your husband. Why you want to if you’re a woman, of course, why you want to start this business, what it means for you personally, what it means, and what it could mean for your family. Discuss it with your children, especially if you’ve got younger children that you need to be home by a certain time.

Then you not gonna be working so many hours on your business in the very beginning. Or it means that you’re gonna be necessarily, necessarily need to work in the evening once the kids have gone to sleep, if you’ve got younger kids at home. So that’s just talking on the general side in terms of, of really, really needing your, your spouse or your partner to be on board because it can directly impact your relationship.

Okay, so that being said, I’m not gonna say something personal and the fact that your podcast is about, you know, marriages, business guide, everything. Okay? I’m thankfully in a second marriage. Very happy ham and a second marriage. My ex-husband and I today are still good friends. Believe it or not.

We do joint family events. In fact, people are amazed that we can actually co-parent our, our kids are adults. We have grandkids, but we do joint chanukah parties. Thank God we’re still good friends. I feel very comfortable in his presence. He feels comfortable in my presence. I’m still in contact with his family.

He’s in contact with mine even though it wasn’t an easy divorce. But thank God we are mature enough to get to that point. That being said, okay, I absolutely did feel while I was in my earlier years that I had the support. In terms of, you know, emotional support and let’s say even financial support in the very beginning when I started my business, and as I said, it’s almost 30 years ago, so at the time my kids were young, I actually gave birth to my fourth child of my five children, Ashem, just before starting my business.

So at the time, I had the support. However, as our marriage evolved, I felt that I did not have the support once he then saw what was involved in starting a business and running a business. And I think I also, you know, now I’m a business coach and I have been for many years, and I can share this, you know, with my clients before you know about what’s involved about starting a business.

Although most of the clients that I do work with are already, you know, in business, they’re not just starting. I think it’s something that’s important to know that it can change the dynamics, but it doesn’t necessarily have to mean that it could change it for the negative. I think it’s up to both partners to be mature enough and to be aware of how to solve the problem.

And I didn’t get divorced because of my business. Let’s let that be be said. Okay. Is that, you know, we should have been divorced many years before that, but having a business did add to the pressures. Because we didn’t know how to handle it properly and manage it properly. And I think also, and you know, I know many of your clients also Anglos also not having family around us in this country to help support and to ease the gap that also, you know, made things more difficult.

Right? Yeah. Right. So it doesn’t mean that yes, having a business means bad marriage. Not at all. It can be exactly the opposite. One just has to know what they’re getting in for and know that you have the full support of your spouse, not only with what sounds rosy in the beginning. And as I said, I did have it very much in the beginning, but also as you move along.

Yeah, and I think that’s really what is one of the things that makes me unique in the business coaching world is that. I have both parts, you know, the business and the marriage, and my focus is on how to create that balance. So especially people who were in those shoes of your early days where you started your business and you’re sort of started with support and the support sort of like dwindled because it’s hard and you’re not really figuring it out and, and then there’s other things that are getting in the way.

This is the time to get help, you know, and specifically with someone whose entire life and specialty is in that intersection. And I think it’s really powerful to, you know, speak about it. And I, I am so grateful that you’re bringing this up because a lot of people aren’t willing to say it was hard for me and I didn’t know who to turn to, and I didn’t have someone like that who was going to sit down with me and say, how do I deal with, why do I feel like I need to make a decision between am I more in my business or am I letting it go?

Where in reality, you don’t have to choose. You can have both. We just need to find, you can have both. Exactly. And the role that you fulfill is crucial, and I think it’s so important that you’ve merged these two elements together. Yeah. Yeah. Thank God I’m really grateful that you brought that up and I’m.

I feel blessed that like, Hey, it was on my podcast. Yeah. I’m telling you, I haven’t shared that, but my personal friends know, but I haven’t shared it publicly at all. And I’m actually not embarrassed or afraid to share it because I think it’s very, very important in fact, one of, of the things that I discussed when I was dating my now husband, we’ve been together seven years, B Hashem was that I’m.

Committed to the marriage. And I’m also committed to my business and to my career. And I’m more of a night owl. He is more of an early riser and an early to bed person, and we’ve kind of found the balance and that he should know that I am going to be, you know, putting a lot of energy to my business and staying up late.

And I don’t wanna ever have to feel apologetic. That’s one thing that was important to me. Now, it doesn’t mean that I don’t need to compromise. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t need to compromise. It doesn’t mean that I’m successful all the time. Sometimes I make mistakes, but it’s something that I’m aware of to try find that balance as much as possible.

You know, my husband says a compromise leaves nobody happy because the one who wanted zero has to give 50. The one that wanted a hundred only gets 50, so they’re both unhappy. Right. So, right. Well, well, well listen that it’s, it’s funny what you say, but there could be a true element in that as well. Yeah, of course.

  Hey, before we continue the episode, I want to ask you something. Are you ready to get answers from God directly, feel more in love with your husband and more supported than ever? Run the business of your dreams without having to sacrifice any other part of your life? That is exactly what my one-on-one private coaching is for, and I want to invite you, just you and me.

For a free deep dive discovery call, this is a 60 minute free call where I ask you lots of questions and we extract the three main things that are holding you back. I then put together a personalized plan for you where I create a roadmap of recommendations. With practical steps, the call is free and so valuable in itself.

So go book yours today. Now back to the show.

 One of the things that I really work at, and I love that you brought this example of, I’m a night owl and I want you to understand this is who I am. I. Like you said, it came with a lot of years of wisdom and experience and being willing to own who you are and the type of personality and how you work and what works best for you.

And I told you we work a lot with the brain as opposed to against the brain or with the body as opposed to working against your body. If you are a night owl, and this is when you work best, a lot of women and this, you will be surprised at how often I hear this. My husband’s upset with me that I’m staying up late.

That’s the only time I get that creative flow. It’s the only time I can work. It’s the only time I get things done and then I feel guilty and then I feel worse, and then he makes me feel worse. And so this is one of the things that we really touch on and that thing that you said, awareness. I am a night owl.

And it’s okay. It doesn’t mean you’re broken. It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. It does not mean that you have to apologize. It means that you have to figure out how to make it work. So sometimes we will find compromises. Hey, listen, I used to be, you know, staying up till three, four in the morning, but my husband is also a morning person and he wants to go to sleep at nine 30.

And sometimes. I move up my timing because I want, not because I’m compromising, but because there’s something I want that I want more. Right? Exactly. Exactly. Instead it’s trying to find the balance. And some days it’ll work and some days it may be off. Right. But if we have enough self-respect and care for each other in the marriage, then we’ll be happy for that person and understand it.

You know it’s not only in terms of work hours, it’s also just in terms of development. If somebody wants to go back to college and to study further or to, you know, purchase something large in their business, and you know, it’s related to are you keeping your finances together? Do you have a separate account?

And I’m sure the money issue something that also comes up a lot with you and your clients in terms of business and match a lot, a lot. And, you know, it’s fascinating. Ooh, wow. There is so much that’s going through my head. Like I wanna hear a little bit more about your business and how it evolved because you, you mentioned it a couple of times and peaked my interest and I’m really interested in like, you know, that journey.

Sure. So as I said, I’ve been in business for almost 30 years. When I started off, firstly when I met Aliya, I’ve been in Israel say five years. When I say approximately five years, when I started my business, when I met Aliyah, I actually came to Israel with almost zero Hebrew, and that is a very, very big thing.

So before I start getting into my business model and how I evolved, I just wanna say that’s one big thing also with change, because you have a lot of Anglos listening to this. Mm-hmm. Is that. You know, just the change of moving to a different country being open to make that change and, you know, not to stay stuck in another country.

If you wanna be somewhere else, that is also a big deal. So I think that I’ve always been open to change. It’s funny, I actually joked with my ex-husband about this a while back, is that, how did I land up in Israel? It was really his idea. I’m forever grateful. Because, you know, Barak, I love this country and I wouldn’t wanna be anywhere else, but it was his idea when we were dating, he was only gonna date girls that were interested in moving to Israel.

And I agreed to move to Israel. I say that I was either adventurous and open to change or stupid. I agreed to move here without ever believe this or not having visited the place. I only visited Israel for the first time once we were engaged to be married, and I’d already committed to move here. So I guess that also shows something about personality, being open to change, being willing to take risks, being willing to, you know, go with the flow.

So when I started my business just for everyone listening, where were you coming from? I was coming from South Africa. Where you can probably tell by the accent. Many people think I’m Australian, by the way. Actually a lot of my family is there now, not in South Africa, but I came from South Africa without having family here in Israel.

So it was agreeing to make the change. I was obviously, you know, mad in love besides probably being adventurous, but being agreeing to make the change with the 10 month old baby. Wow. Which isn’t simple. Who’s now em in the thirties? So, you know, making that change. You got, you got married there and then you only moved later.

I got married there. We lived there for two years. I had a baby 10 months old. We made Aliyah. So, you know, it’s it’s making that change. That’s the one I would say the first big set of change. And I mean, I’m sure I can think of things that changes that I made when I was younger, but in terms of big change that made an impact on my life, that’s one of the first big things that I could say.

Mm-hmm. And then deciding to start my own business and being adventurous a couple of years after making aliya. Still with a not so good Hebrew, but I learned along the way. And one of the things also about being open to change, by the way, was we moved to a place that did not have too many Anglos. Now, today, I’m not sure if I would recommend it because I think to, you know, that to settle and to adapt to a place.

The social side is, is, is the most critical. So I wouldn’t say that I recommend that now, but for us it worked because it helped me learn Hebrew too, and starting off a business where most of my negotiation, training, speaking, everything was not in my own, you know, native language. Right. So, moving along to answer your question, I just wanted to share that background with you.

Is that my business when I started it was a product oriented business. I had come from being in services in South Africa. I was in career consulting, recruiting, matching businesses with people looking for jobs hr, but not having much of a Hebrew. I couldn’t do that when I first landed in Israel, and I had the opportunity of starting a business on the product, the product side.

Which is also taking a risk. Anyone that starts a business does take a risk, of course, as we know. I think for the first month I was still working somewhere, but I left straight after that because the idea was to go full-time into this and I was producing. Products, brand promotional products, which is a separate division that I do have still in my business though almost 30 years later.

Totally separate from the consulting. It’s still to do with branding and strategy, but I was working with branded promotional products as well as creating and manufacturing products for the retail markets. Which I loved, and I did it for 20 years, but after 20 years, I didn’t wanna do it anymore. And my kids would always, you know, laugh at me that they would see whenever I walked into any store or when I was in Chut, LAIs when I went abroad, that I was always, I would always look and feel and touch and look at things and see things, and my mind was just forever flowing.

So that being said, it started in the product line, which meant that I actually needed place in my home to also have and house these products. So initially we were in a smaller apartment, so literally it kind of took over the house, which is also not so easy for a family. And then we moved to a larger place.

Where we had an attic and that’s where I was able to store a lot of these places. And in my at least 20 years, I actually had two employees working working for me. And they were actually working from my home, which I also would not recommend so much today. I would say rather take it out the home, but we all know the advantages.

It was a separate area. It still meant that if my kids wanted it during the vacation, come home, come down into the kitchen in their pajamas, that they knew that there were two other people in their home. So, you know, all these things, we, we become wiser over the years. Today I wouldn’t do it, but at the time we had thankfully a big enough home with a separate area that it did not make sense financially to have to hire a place and to store stuff somewhere else.

And it also gave me the benefit of working in the house, but as we know, that also can be negative because right next to the kitchen is your office and you are often hopping between the two. So you have to be really, really very well disciplined to do that. Right. Then over the years I moved away from the retail side and more into my passion, which is the coaching, developing and empowering others, business owners, individuals.

And I still kept the product side, but not actually storing products in my home where I was manufacturing anymore. Very small amount, but mostly working with branded products where literally it’s like drop shipping. Nice. Wow, that’s cool. I did not know you had a product based business, and that is, yeah, for many years.

For many years. And I loved it, uncle. I didn’t like it anymore, and that’s when I decided to make the change. When we talk about evolving with our personalities, once we’re no longer passionate about doing something. Need or when it doesn’t work for us any longer. And em, I was still making a lot of profit from it, but I didn’t enjoy it anymore.

I didn’t wake up and want to work in the business. It wasn’t doing the same thing for me as it was anymore. And that’s when we need to realize we need to make a change. And I was able to keep it under the same umbrella, my same company name. That I rebranded, changed the logo, but I was able to basically bring in the new stuff, which I was more passionate about, and continue with the stuff that I wanted to and get go of the other.

I love it. You know, when you say I wasn’t passionate about anymore, it reminds me of my graphic design. I went to talk to the rabbi that we go ask for advice when we need like, big things. And he says, what are you waiting for? Holding your chair till you know, God kicks you and you know, out.

Like, just do it. You know? And, and a lot of times a lot of people are walking around holding their chair, don’t wanna leave, don’t wanna, you know, change and. Eventually you’re either going to be kicked out by not liking anymore, something’s really wrong, things aren’t working, or you figure out, oh, it’s time.

You know? So it’s like there is this line that is sort of like a timeline of like when it’s just a whisper and you’re feeling it inside and it’s starting to form to like the other extreme of like, okay, this is the end of the. Timeline. It’s like something’s gonna explode if you don’t do something. So I feel like we have to become a little bit more aware of ourselves, aware of the messages that we’re getting from God.

To be able to pick them up before it gets too urgent or too uncomfortable. So I like that you were able to pick up on that and see like, okay, it’s time to move on. Right. Absolutely. I think it’s a combination of time and maturity. Maturity as a person and also as our business matures. I think that’s super, super important.

Yeah. Whew. Wow. This was fun. Is anything else coming up for you that has to do with change? There’s a lot of things I think one thing that I do wanna mention is that we all have what we call dramas in our life. Okay? Hashem, who is wonderful, didn’t promise us that, you know, that everything would be free sailing and smooth sailing.

So I think that it’s important to actually expect the challenges can arise. I think that it’s important to look at it once again, the half cup full, as you know, a challenge to solve rather than a problem. I don’t like using the word problem, and I think it’s important that when we do see and have these kind of things, that the idea of bouncing back as quickly as possible.

What can make a huge difference. Now, obviously depending on what the drama is in our life, or God forbid, a trauma, you know, there is that process of needing to go through it before bouncing back. You know, that’s not my specialty. It’s more your specialty, but that we all know that certain things take time and we need to give ourselves that time.

That being said. Especially being a business owner where we need to be self-motivated and self-disciplined. If we give ourselves too much time and let the dramas take over our lives, when we wake up one day, we may no longer have a business, or we may no longer have that same client. So each one obviously at a pace that works for them.

And I’m not judging anyone because different people have different resilience levels. I think, you know, Barak Hashem, thank God that’s one thing that I feel blessed that Hashem gave me with was a very strong and high resilient level. I’ll share with you just on that, you know, I’m sharing a lot of personal things here with you today.

I’ll share with you on that note. I did mention it when I did my own podcast. I had, when I, I’ve, now I, I’m in my sixties, my mature sixties. I just turned 60 a couple of months ago, six months ago, and. One of the things that the two, two stories I’d like to give here with your permission.

One of the things that I mentioned that drives me and makes me so positive, you know, we mentioned earlier about either being motivated by pain or pleasure was having my mom pass away at a very young age in her fifties. And when I got to that same age and said to myself, you know. And I realize this even long before, but Leslie, your, your mom or mommy, I called her in those days, mommy did not get to live to this right age to actually fulfill and see her dreams or to get to retirement.

So as I matured with age, I think it made me even more determined to go off to certain goals and to make the change that I wanted, because knowing that my mom. Sadly did not reach that or was not able to achieve it. So one of the things, for example, was three, four years ago, my husband and I moved from Jerusalem to Natanya to the coast.

And that was like the main force driving me. Thank God he was on board. He also loved the coast and I still am very involved in Jerusalem. Consider myself literally a half a jerusalemite, half living in Netanya, naan, as I say in Hebrew. But that was the driving force saying, well, you know, who knows if retirement will come, if I wanna make the change?

And if we wanna make the change, then let’s make it now, because no one knows what’s gonna be in the future. I love it. You know, so, so that is is the one thing. Beautiful. And the other thing I do wanna say, you know, I mentioned earlier about, you know, dramas and things in life. Is that so, you know, we can all pinpoint major areas in our life where we say, this is what forced change, or this is what may change, or this is what caused us to reconsider.

So with us, with me, should I say, I can really pinpoint three things. Three major things. One of them was the passing away of my mom at a young age. I was in my thirties, but she was, as I say, young, you know, young fifties. That was number one. Number two was realizing the fact that I wanted to get divorced and actually take the plunge and the courage, ’cause it’s not easy to actually make that change and make it happen.

Thank God. And I like to say, you know, you’re going through this tunnel and you, when you do it, and you’re making this change, it doesn’t have to be divorce, but you don’t see the light at that end of the tunnel in the beginning. But as you move through the tunnel and evolve, you’ll start seeing that little bit of glimpse of light.

So that’s the second thing. And the third thing was having in five children and my one child, my youngest child, who is an amazing 20 something year old kid today. He was born exactly one week after my mom passed away. So it was this whole trauma of not only be not being able to go to her funeral, only being able to go, she was in a different country one month later when we went for the unveiling and taking one month old baby with me, but also.

Having a child that was born with certain medical issues and needed to have surgery one day after he was born, and went on to having about 10 surgeries after that over the years. So there were, as an independent business owner, I couldn’t just totally leave my business aside. I mean, there were days that I worked less in it and days that I worked more, but over the years as he needed this medical attention.

I needed to make it work and I needed to know who to turn to for help. And if I was an employee, I would’ve just taken off sick leave. And who knows? If they would’ve given it all to me, I would’ve taken leave. Well, I’m not sure what I would’ve done, but when you have your clients that you’re representing these, sometimes these dramas and traumas in your life, you have to just learn.

And I know it’s easier said than done, and it sounds very harsh to say, but sometimes we have to just learn how to do it and how to manage it. And how to bounce back as quickly as possible, because otherwise our business may not be there when we wake up. Right. Wow. Oh, I can’t imagine all that. You know, the timing sometimes feels crazy, so Yeah, right.

And just being resilient. Being resilient can really help you being successful in a business. And our topic’s, not resilience, but resilience and change do go hand in hand. And I believe that we can also learn to become more resilient and learn to manage change better.

You know, you may not think that you’re a type of person who can, and some people are stronger internally than others. However, I do believe that it is something that we can learn the tools, how to make it work more. Yeah, so let’s get practical a little bit for the last couple of minutes. Let’s sort of pull it all together with practical things that make us more resilient within life so that when change hits, it’s not the end of the world, and it’s just like it could shake you up a little, but how do we get ourselves through the change?

Okay. Very, very important question. So, number one, what I mentioned earlier, to actually expect that the change can happen. Now, God forbid if one has a tragedy or trauma, you know, that’s not something that we, you know, expect or wait for and live for, and that can just suddenly hit us.

So it’s trying to train our bodies as much as possible that things do happen and can happen. And when something like this happens. The first thing is okay to, what I would do and what I did is to pause, look at the overall situation and not to take on too much in that time to actually give ourself a little bit of space, give ourself a little bit of slack, saying we’re going through a tough time.

All right, let me think. Logically, let me plan one or two things that I need to do no more. In other words, only take on the most important and prioritizing. That’s a whole topic on its own and, and time management, but only taking on the one or two most urgent things that we need to undertake. Number two is knowing who to reach out for help to okay, and not being afraid to reach for help.

Many people are very proud. They don’t like to show. I’m sure you’ve seen this way more than I have even, is that people don’t like to ask for help and we like to believe we can do it all. You know, I, I definitely fit into that category. However, when I did undergo these challenges that I mentioned that I had, I knew who I could reach out to.

I knew who was there, who I could reach out to and who not to talk to. And you often very much discover who your real, genuine friends are in that time as well. So, so these are a couple of things. Prioritizing only dealing with the most important things. Nurturing yourself, you know, eating properly, sleeping properly.

I’m not a good one on the sleeping side because I don’t sleep as many hours as what I should, but at the time, whatever your body needs and, you know, just doing, if it means treating yourself with a bar of chocolate, the entire bar, so, so be it. Go and do it. Right. You’re like, well, right. Knowing what you can do, what you can’t do, and prioritizing that is the most important thing.

Yeah. I love how you say eat well, but then also eat the whole chocolate. Right. Listen, chocolate is our go-to when we’re feeling down. So, so it’s, you know, don’t deny it. Right? One of the things, first of all, today was funny ’cause I actually bought chocolate today, which I haven’t done in a long time. But what was I thinking? Oh, so yeah. You know how we both said we were both night owls? One of the things that really helps me function and move through the day is I take a nap and I highly recommend anybody who is a night owl and needs to function for your kids, or you need to, you know, show up in this world in some capacity.

That makes sense. If you’re not getting enough time to sleep or if you’re not giving yourself enough time to sleep, make sure you make it up. Make sure that you give yourself those boosts that will hold you through because there’s just so much you can drain yourself and not. Replenish, you know, like you were saying before we started, I told you I was hungry 20 minutes before the call and I thought, what do I do?

Do I just grab something junky and move through it? Or do I take the time to make a salad? And I, I really, I cut the salad and I washed the lettuce and I did the whole thing. And I came, and, you know, we started a little bit later, but actually, I had a nice salad and I feel really good. So it’s really important.

Like you said, nurture yourself. Be aware of your needs. Don’t cut corners on yourself. When you need to cut corners. Cut corners where it doesn’t matter. Like you said, prioritizing. I love that you said that because one of the things that I love to do is the big three, the big three things that have to happen this week and nothing else matters, you know?

And when you have that. Oh, then, you know, okay, fine. I sent an email to my list. That’s one. You know, I sent out my podcast. That’s two and another, you know, big thing that I want in my business. That’s three. That’s it. That’s all I have to do. If I don’t do anything else, at least I did that. And it gives you wiggle room to then cut corners, move things around, maybe cancel or reschedule things when things are really on fire or whatever it is.

But don’t feel like you are stuck in a jail of a business because then the whole point of building a business is for nothing. Exactly. That’s so important. And, and you know, on that note, which you said, anyone that builds a business, we have to make our business work for us. We have to make sure that our business is representing our life and that we’re not living and working for the business.

And it sounds cliched and at times it is cliched because when we’re under pressure, when we’ve got a lot of things going on. There are times for sure that we feel we, our lives are being represented by our business, but at any given stage, it’s important to ask ourself what is the most important use of our time right now?

If it’s out being with family or self-care, self nurture. So then that’s what we have to do. If it’s doing something in the business. So then that’s what we have to do. And it’s all about finding the balance. And as I say, I, I don’t, I don’t like the, the term work life balance. I, it’s something that I struggle with because then what does it mean it’s work or life?

I think it should be like work personal. Does that mean if you work that you don’t have a life? So it’s all about finding that balance. And it’s never gonna be a solid line. The balance isn’t gonna be working all the time. Sometimes it’s gonna be one up, sometimes it’s gonna be the other. And that’s what is involved in, in having a business having a marriage and life and family and just trying to make it work as best as possible.

I love that. I love that you said, you know what, so if you don’t, you know, if you’re working, then you don’t have a life. That cracked me up. I never thought about it that way. I know, I don’t know where the term came from. I think it’s such an incorrect term. Totally. I have, I have my, my offer is a three month coaching program.

It’s called Balance for God’s Sake, because really what do we want? We wanna serve God and everything that we do, and so can we create balance. For God’s sake. You know, it’s not for me. I’m not doing it as a selfish thing. Oh, I need balance. It’s because I am here being given all these gifts that I am supposed to use, right?

I am not supposed to push my gifts aside because I’m, you know, only mother now, or I’m only wife. Now I have all these other things that I’m excited about. So how do we make it all work And, I think once I pinpointed that name and it like finally like, settled in, I was like, balance for God’s sake. It’s so exact.

It’s like that is what it is, so, oh, I love it. How can people find you, Leslie? Best case, I’m on social media. The best case is actually through my website, lesley kaplan.com. That’s Lesley, L-E-S-L-E-Y. Many people think it’s LIE Lesley kaplan.com, and through there you can reach all my other ventures.

You can reach my podcast, you can reach my social media links. That is the best place. Awesome. Any last words before we close? Yeah. Firstly, I’d just like to say I really enjoyed this conversation with you and thank you so much for the opportunity to join you. I’m here if anyone would like to chat further about.

Challenges or good things in work-life balance or anything to do with advancing their business. And I’ll just close off with some of the things that I’ve said. Just a summary in terms of that your business can work for you. There’s no right or wrong either being in business or being an independent or being an employee or whether you work at US hours or local hours.

You gotta do what works for you as your personality. You gotta do what works for your life. You gotta do what works for you as a family, and the more you share with your family and bring everybody on board that they know challenges that you’re gonna be having, things that may come up in the future. I think it can help avoid problems or challenges in the future.

If you address them in the very beginning, but just enjoy it. Just enjoy your business. If you’re in business and you’re listening to this podcast, enjoy it because you chose it for a reason. You decided to go into business for a reason. So always, whenever you are having a doubt or things are a little bit stressed, always go back and remind yourself what your mission statement is.

What is the reason? What is your why? Why did you start your business? And I believe that’ll help, you know, get through whatever you’re going through at the time. I love it. Thank you so much. Thank you for listening to all those listening and please make sure to come back next week for another amazing episode.

As I said, we are in the month of change, so next week is change. And you, and it’s actually fascinating. It’s already been recorded, so make sure you come back for that one. Thank you, Leslie. You’re amazing. Don’t forget to be connected for real, and I will see you next time.

 And that’s it! Thank you for listening to the very end. I would love if you can leave a review and subscribe to the podcast. Those are things that tell the algorithm this is a good podcast and make sure to suggest it to others. Wouldn’t it be amazing if more people became more connected for real? And now take a moment and think of someone who might benefit from this episode.

Can you share it with them? I am Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman from connectedforreal. com. Thank you so much for listening and don’t forget you can be connected for real.