Transcript:

 Welcome to the Connected For Real podcast. I’m Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman, a marriage coach for women in business. And my mission is to bring God’s presence into your life, into your marriage and into your business. Let’s get started.

 And we are live, welcome everyone to the connected for real podcast. I’m Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman, and this episode was inspired by the conversations I’m having about my private coaching program, balance for God’s sake. So if you don’t know, it is a three month. One on one program where you are fully held and uniquely guided to create balance between your marriage and your success.

So you can be your full self, like actually alive. If you’re interested, go check out the details at connectedforreal. com slash coaching. And the title of this podcast is you can’t afford it, but God can. This world is full of illusions. We’re living in a story, in a box, in limitations. It’s. You know, a facade, a hidden world, right?

That’s what it’s called. Because God is hiding behind nature. And God created nature so that we have to find him. Like a hide and seek game. And because of that, a lot of our beliefs are limited. And we are limited. And our reality is limited. So a lot of people will say, I’m really, really, really interested in joining the program.

I know this is for me. I want it so badly. I’m praying for it every day, but I just can’t afford it. And this is a reminder to you and to everyone else and to me that you don’t have to afford it. God does let me tell you why I’m saying that okay when we are caught in that nature Natural things the way things are supposed to go the way things are supposed to be or supposed to work Then we follow certain step by step processes that are supposed to get us to the next level and those systems and those step by steps were created by People who are limited Right?

All the systems were part of and the way that things seem to have to go is because we established those systems. And the problem is that when reality shifts, when there is a new generation and suddenly employment looks very different or opportunities open up, the systems haven’t caught up.

And this is good news. Because it really means that. You don’t have to be dependent on the systems and a lot of the people who are listening to me in this podcast are not necessarily typical. They want to find the ways to

Click out of all of that noise of the supposed to of this is how you’re you’re you know This is what we do. This is how we’ve done it. This is what works. This is what works for everyone right, so Instead, we want to tap into something deeper. Okay? And here’s the problem. Part of the story, part of the limitation that we live in is the story about our worth.

I need to do something to deserve something.

I need to do something to deserve love. I need to do something to deserve abundance or money. Or good things or to receive anything like I haven’t done anything to deserve this and I’m totally here with you because you know, we’re all living in this world. So we are very much experiencing the same universal experiences, which is things don’t just happen.

You have to. make them happen, right? So you find yourself in this world of limitations and norms, but you’re also find yourself outside of that because there is this feeling and this hint of um, it doesn’t have to be this way. It doesn’t have to be so hard, so stressful, so frustrating, so overwhelming, so exhausting, so draining. It doesn’t.

And that’s coming from your soul. Your soul is telling you that you want things that are bigger, that are more you feel like it should be possible, like it’s maybe possible, like you wish it was possible, but then your brain jumps in and is like, mm mm, I don’t know, man. I’m not seeing how. It’s completely impossible, don’t even bother.

And then, the heart jumps in and says, Well, if we don’t know how, then we’re not going after it. Because that’s scary. You can’t start a journey without knowing exactly what’s gonna happen. Without having a roadmap, and without having directions. Right? So, we have a lot of parts of ourselves that are all going against each other.

There’s like a conflict. Your soul is being called up, right? A soul is like a flame. It’s constantly trying to strive to go up, to move up, to reach for higher. And then you have your brain that’s very logical and practical. And then you have the heart that’s working with the fears and the what ifs and all the scary stuff.

So that’s where we’re at. So let’s talk about the fears a little bit. And especially the fear of failure and the fear of success. Because in this world of limitations, where we see things a certain way, and we feel that there are boundaries to our abilities, there are

walls we hit against, and that’s just life. And that’s true because we are limited. So when I say you can’t afford it, I’m Making it completely legit. Like, you’re right. You can’t. Because you are human, and you are limited, and you are not seeing how. But that’s not the end of the sentence, and that’s not the end of what’s happening here.

That’s just the beginning. It’s the awareness that I’m limited. It’s the awareness that I’m human. It’s the awareness that I can’t do this alone, and I don’t know the how. But, The second part of the title, but God can. God can afford anything. Good news, right?

Why are we afraid of asking if God is capable of anything? Why are we afraid of receiving?

And so, it comes down to fear of failure and fear of success. I really feel like these two fears were my personal fears. They were extremely real for me, and I speak to a lot of people, and they’re very much the obstacle. Why are you not going after your dreams? Why are you not going after your calling?

Why are you not showing up? I’m afraid I’m gonna fail. And what they’re not saying is, I’m afraid I’m going to succeed.

And I’m here to shed light on that, too. Because if we’re not aware of it, then we can’t face it. So, fear of failure. What does it look like? I am going to be rejected. People are going to mock me. I’m going to invest all of my money, my time, my energy. I’m gonna put so much into it, and then it’s gonna feel like it’s just all went down the drain.

It was for nothing. Nothing good came of it. I wasted my time. I failed. That’s a terrible feeling. I am 100 percent with you that this is the thing that holds most people back. Because if you had a guarantee that you would succeed, then you wouldn’t be afraid of failing. Right, so this is definitely a risk and it’s a risk for a reason.

God wants us to Take a leap take a step move in the direction and you know, I’m gonna talk about how to deal with fear of failure But I want to just describe fear of success because that one is a lot deeper and a lot harder What’s going to happen to me? When I succeed, right? We talked about the failure.

Okay, so I’m going to be embarrassed. I’m going to have to deal with hard conversations. I’m going to have to face myself and, you know, I wasted my time, my energy, my money. I could probably forgive that. Right? It’s probably not going to be as bad as I expect it to be. My brain is, is a little bit catastrophizing.

You know, you’re not going to end up homeless or you’re not going to, you know, I don’t know, lose your life. It’s going to probably just be a couple of hard conversations and self forgiveness. And move on, start over, heal, and I’m making that, you know, little, but in comparison to fear of success, fear of failure is nothing.

Fear of success is what’s going to happen to me. What’s going to happen to my values? What’s going to happen to my relationships? What’s going to happen to my life when I’m successful?

When things open up, when abundance starts to rain, when I’m finally on track, when I have more time, more money, what’s going to happen to me? How am I going to handle that? When I’m suddenly not restricted, I’m not suffocating, I’m not feeling stuck, there’s this freedom, the expansion. What is that expansion going to do to me?

Right? I’m afraid that I will lose myself. I’m afraid I’ll go wild, crazy, I’ll make decisions that aren’t in my best interest. Maybe I will find things about myself that I’m not okay with. How am I gonna deal with that? Hard stuff, right? And that’s not all. anything near the hard conversations you’re going to have to have if you fail. This is bigger and scarier and heavier. So you can now understand why it’s so hard for us to go after our calling.

Because it’s not like we’re going after the money or we’re going after the fame or we’re just, you know, we want to succeed for success sake. We’re going for success. Because we’re feeling called because there’s something inside us that says, I need to do this. And when that happens, that voice inside says we can’t no way, because that’s too scary.

There are three main fears that I have found that are part of fear of success. We’re afraid of losing our connection with ourselves. Losing ourselves, losing our values, freedom is too much to handle,

we’re afraid we’ll do something we’ll regret, we’re afraid we’re going to become careless.

The second one is losing our connection with God. This was a big one for me. I can’t be successful because if I am, I’m not going to be as humble. I’m not going to be as connected, right? It’s so much easier to be connected to God when you’re poor, when you have to rely on God, where nothing makes sense, and you’re just living from miracle to miracle.

You ask and God delivers, and then you’re like, oh, wow, that’s amazing. Somebody just walked in with like, blah, blah, right? That’s life when you are Restricted, but what if you’re not, are you going to be able to stay connected? And that was my scariest part. Being connected to God is so important to me that I wasn’t willing to be successful because I wasn’t willing to give that up.

My friend, Hannah Mason, who’s going to be a guest in the podcast in a couple of weeks. She calls this a double bind. When you’re bound by two things that are stuck together in your mind.

This one was one of the biggest ones for me. What’s going to happen when I start feeling, seeing, experiencing success. Something’s finally working. Am I going to take credit? Am I going to say, oh, it’s all me. Look at me. I did that. Ooh, that was scary.

Am I going to forget that it’s all from God?

And then losing our connection with our husbands, our marriage, our family, relationships matter most. And a lot of times when they’re not working. But success is working that feels better. So we tend to lean towards that. We end up choosing success over our marriage because marriage is hard and it’s uncomfortable.

And there are things that. I don’t want to face and I have things I don’t want to do. And I, you know, maybe I made a mistake or maybe this isn’t right for me. And something isn’t sitting right. And I’m just not,

it’s so much easier to not, right? So we choose the success that’s finally working. That something is finally, you know, this is what I’m good at. I’m not good at running a house, but I am good at running a business.

That’s a very scary thing. So we’re not willing to go out on a limb. And try success if success means that we have to choose, and you know, don’t get me wrong, obviously you don’t have to choose, but these are the thoughts we’re having. These are the fears that are underlying almost everybody I speak with.

What’s going to happen to me? What’s going to happen to my relationship with God? And what’s going to happen? To my marriage,

and the problem is that we keep seeing examples of people who tasted success and then went off the path. It was one of the things that freaked me out the most. People who reached milestones and then got divorced. Or people I looked up to who ended up proving, showing me, that, mm, no, I don’t want to be like her anymore.

Right? They really showed how dangerous the real world is. So your brain is like, you see, I have evidence this is dangerous. I’m telling you it’s not good. We’re not going there. And my heart gets in like, no, no, no. And my whole being, your brain, your heart, your stomach, everything clenches.

Everything squishes down into the smallest space and chooses to just contract. It’s like, no way, I’m not going there. I would much rather stay small and poor and suffocating and stressed and struggling and limited and squished than have to give up

the most amazing Important connections that I have.

I would much rather be small and poor and suffering and stressed and struggling and limited and squished than have to face success. It’s scary to think about it, right? So what do we do in this reality when you’re feeling called to show up, to grow, to glow, to shine, but the risks are too high and the price is too much. You’re not willing to take that.

So pause for a second. Take a deep breath, tap into yourself,

just arrive into your body for just a moment.

Ask yourself, what do I really want?

I want to be aligned with my values. I want to be authentic with myself. I want to do things that work for me. I want to be successful. I want to leave an impact.

I wanted to work with my lifestyle, with my family, with my relationships.

Not only that, I want to strengthen my relationships. I want to strengthen my connection with myself, with God, with my husband. I want to know that I’m stable, that I have the frameworks and the boundaries in place to succeed.

So I can grow safely, sustainably, with alignment and balance.

Those are some of mine, and they may be some of yours too, and feel free to steal them. But when I think of what I really want, and I give myself permission to think, what I want is that balanced success. That success for God’s sake. That doesn’t have to come at any price.

So now step two is to ask God. Ask for abundance. You know what you want. Ask for it.

God, I want to grow safely, sustainably, with alignment and balance. I want to have flow. I want to improve my marriage. I want to grow my ability to contain all this goodness.

And then you’re going to tell me, But I don’t see any way that it could be done. Things are so stuck so limited. Well, good news is God is unlimited. He is limitless

That’s why we’re turning to him or bringing him into the situation When you know what you want, and then you bring God in

you’re going to be able to Break the limitations

not because you will But because God will. So here’s the thing, God put those wants in you, right? You’re feeling called not because there’s something wrong with you, but because God put that in you. And if you have that calling and you know that you want to do something bigger, then doing it on your own is going to feel very heavy and very scary and very hard.

Who wants to work hard? Who wants to push and push and push and constantly push.

But when you bring God into it, you say, Hey, God, you gave me this will, you put me in this world with this purpose so that I can serve, show up for you. So now you figure out the how.

And God is so limitless with his ability, with his love, with his peace. God has no question about it. He loves you so much. He wants you to have it. He wants to help you. He wants to show you. And you don’t have to do anything to deserve that.

There’s nothing that you need to do in order to deserve God’s love, God’s peace, God’s love. assistance.

How does that feel in your body when you no longer have to interact with God like a business dealing? Like, okay God, I’ll do this and then I’ll deserve this and then I’ll take that and then I’ll receive it but only partially because I don’t want to overtake because then I’ll have to pay for it later. What is that? Why are we taught that? So, let’s leave the how for God.

In the case of working with me in Balanced for God’s sake, I say, talk to God. I want it. I want to join. I want to be in the program. I want to Go after my dreams. I want to figure out systems. I want to get my husband on board. I want to change the atmosphere in the home. I want to know what to do when things blow and everything is out of control. I want to figure out my business. Get focused. Stop feeling like a hot mess.

But I can’t afford it. So go for it. You can so show me how. When you ask God to show you how, when you let God take over, you’re no longer holding it and pretending that you can do it. Because you can’t. We’ve already established you are limited, but God is not.

When people say I can’t see how to make it work. I say that’s great because you don’t need to. To you This is impossible because you don’t see the how so leave the how for God. Your job is to focus on the why. Why do I want to do this? I want to show up for God. If he’s calling me, I can try to be like, no, you got the wrong gal. Go look for someone else.

But as you know, as we’ve seen with Moses, it doesn’t work. You can’t shake off your purpose. So instead, Just say, okay, I am feeling called. I get that you want me to show up.

Why would I do this? Only for you because you’re calling me. So I’m gonna show up for you. See from the moment I was born every single experience Has been tailor made customized uniquely created for me To get to this point.

And it’s the same with you. Things that we thought shouldn’t have been that way. I should have had different parents or whatever.

You have been brought here to this moment with every single skill you need and every single gift you have. in order to do a very specific job. So instead of trying to figure out how I’m going to do that job and how I’m going to get there, leave the how to God and focus on the why. I am doing this for you.

I am doing this for you. Because you brought me to do this and you’re going to guide me to get there. I’m not in this alone.

I’m becoming the person that you are calling me to become for you, for God’s sake. And since you got me this far, I can trust that you’re going to guide me and get me there. Doesn’t that make sense? Can you take a moment and take a deep breath and say, God, I need your help. I need you alongside me the whole time.

I need you to show me how to pay for it. It’s not just theoretical. It’s not just up in the sky. It’s practical. When you bring God into it, you ask for every single thing. So right now, when you think I can’t afford it, yeah, but you can. So let’s click into that special place that you just tuned into.

Ask God, how are we going to pay for this?

How are we going to do this?

What are we going to do to get the money? And

just listen for the answer, whatever comes up for you.

Maybe it’s a. picture of someone or a name that popped into your head that maybe you can ask them for help. Maybe it’s the thought of some available money. Maybe it’s nothing. Maybe you’re just blank. And don’t worry about it. That’s normal. And that just means that when you’re ready to receive the answer, it will come to you.

So now your job is to stay attentive, to figure out what thoughts, what people, what messengers. Are going to be between this conversation and the answer, okay? so in conclusion, even if you can’t afford it, you can’t see how it’s gonna work. You can’t figure out how to make it happen. That is not the end of the sentence because God can.

And today’s podcast is all about reminding you something you know already. That God is capable and God loves you and God wants you to have what you need in order to succeed and if coaching is what you need then you will have coaching and if a specific tool is what you need then you will get that tool and if a specific skill is what you need then you will get that skill.

God is setting you up all the time in order to get to where you need to go. It’s not something you need to deserve. It’s just built into the job description, right? If I hire someone and they’re a plumber, they come with their tools because they are a plumber. So it’s not extra, it just is. Right? One time I was in class and Leora Mandel said, could you imagine opening up your box and seeing like all this doctor stuff?

And you’re like but I’m not a doctor. Why did I get this? You know, or like somebody who works in an office and they say, why did he get the car? Well, cause his job is to drive around. Your job is to be in front of the computer, and you have a phone, you have a computer, you have notepads, you have pens.

You don’t need the car, but then, you know, the bus driver would be like, Oh, why did he get the plumbing stuff? Because he’s a plumber! So, let’s not look around and say, hey, it’s not fair. They got something else, or they can afford something, or they have I don’t know what. Let’s focus on what we got. God is going to give you everything you need in order to succeed in the job he gave you.

Isn’t it amazing when we realign and we finally see that there’s one connecting element? It’s not that I am going after my calling and I don’t have the way to get there. No, it’s that I’m going after my calling for God’s sake. And because God is in charge, he has put every single thing I need in front of me.

And all I need to do is just put one foot in front of the other and go in that direction. And if I ever feel like, I don’t know, I just look up and say, Hey God, could you Help me out here, and then if I don’t know how to afford something I just need to raise my hand be like I think I need help. I need you to show me I need you to guide me.

I don’t know right the less I can own the better Cuz holding all that stuff is just heavy.

So after we’ve said all that I want to remind you that balance for God’s sake is a three month Private coaching program it is one on one You will be super held Because you get sessions with me, you get what’s up support that gives you access to me all the time. And you could just ask me anything and I will respond, please God, as soon as I can.

And people find this to be the coolest part. There are trainings and sessions and everything that you could imagine necessary for you to get to where you need to go. I. I’m trying my best to provide you with as much as I can because that’s my way of being an integrity. I’m not going to sell you a program that I don’t think can get you there.

So obviously I’m going to do whatever I can to get you there. So there’s a lot I’m offering and I’m going to also help you know what to choose, what to pick, how to proceed so that you don’t get overwhelmed. We don’t do overwhelm around here. We stay focused. We have three months. People think it’s not a lot of time.

It is enough time to completely change your life. Change your marriage, change dynamics, change atmosphere, change your ability to handle things that come up. It’s enough time to figure out your focus, to start taking action, to start seeing results. It’s enough time to get your husband on board with your dreams.

It’s enough time to work through obstacles that are getting in your way. If you’re dealing with fear of failure, fear of success, it is enough time to unravel all that and more.

And three months of balance for God’s sake costs 2, 500. And there are payment plans. And the biggest payment plan, or lowest, I guess, is 50 a week for 50 weeks. Notice I’m not taking any extra. I’m not charging you. Interest is my way of being able to give a free loan, but it’s so that you can start working right now and pay it off at your speed. 50 a week, then you can Start immediately but only if it’s right for you. Only if you’re ready to change your limiting beliefs, if you’re ready to get out of the limitations you’re living in, the constrictions, the suffocation, the stress, that feeling of it’s impossible. If you’re ready to get out of that, only if you’re ready to take deep breaths and let it go deep. If you’re ready to take off the armor, to lift the mask, to get out of the illusion, this is for you. If you’re ready to get out of that conflict between your marriage and your business or your success, or being afraid that it will take over. If you’re ready for flow, for balance, for harmony, for alignment,

then schedule a call. When you schedule a deep dive discovery call, you get 60 minutes with me. It is 100 percent free. No strings attached. We’re going to listen to everything. I’m going to collect all the information, put it like a puzzle into a roadmap. I’m going to tell you what I think are the specific steps for you.

This is all customized. It’s not one size fits all because I don’t think life is one size fits all. And that’s something that I really pride myself on. is my ability to be very, very exact to what you need.

So, come on. If the only reason why you’re not scheduling the call is because you can’t afford it, Listen to this podcast, take some notes, journal, some ideas, let God through, allow the answer to come. Let’s make this work because you are ready. You’re just a little scared. So borrow my confidence.

That’s it for today. I look forward to seeing you on the inside. And like always, don’t forget to be connected for real.

 And that’s it! Thank you for listening to the very end. I would love if you can leave a review and subscribe to the podcast. Those are things that tell the algorithm this is a good podcast and make sure to suggest it to others. Wouldn’t it be amazing if more people became more connected for real? And now take a moment and think of someone who might benefit from this episode.

Can you share it with them? I am Robinson Bat chen Grossman from connectedforreal. com. Thank you so much for listening and don’t forget you can be connected for real.