Transcript:

Welcome to the Connected For Real podcast. I’m Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman, a marriage coach for women in business. And my mission is to bring God’s presence into your life, into your marriage and into your business. Let’s get started.

 And we are live welcome everyone to the connected for real podcast. I’m Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman. I’m a marriage coach for women in business and successful careers. And my baby is with me today. So that’s very exciting. You may see her and hear her sometimes. And we’re cool with that because that’s how we roll around here.

And today we are talking to Hannah Mason, who is so awesome. And a person that I. Have been very, very inspired by, and I even got to meet. So I’m very excited. Kata Mason, introduce yourself and then we’ll get into our topic, love and business. Hi everyone. Thank You Bat Hain for having me. It’s such a pleasure to be here and to be able to share space and talk about things that I care about deeply.

I am originally from Columbia, South America. Grew up in the States and have been living in Israel for the past 22 years. I’ve been really over the entire course of my time here in Israel on a spiritual journey and also on a healing journey that has led me to really dive deep into how we as human beings function and how we can find more joy and peace in our lives.

And that has led me onto a path of becoming a coach and doing somatic therapy and breathwork and offering a lot of group experiences as well as one on one experiences and retreats. And constantly looking to explore and grow and share what I learn. That’s awesome. Okay. So let me just give you a little bit of background to all those who are listening and new around here.

I have four pillars. Everything I do is based on God is at the core marriage and business are my two big topics that I want to make sure work together and are not pulling you apart. And then you as the container to hold all the parts of your life. So with all those pillars, God, marriage, business, you, we.

Go and almost attack a topic from four different angles. And every time I bring a different guest to talk about a different angle. So today we’re talking about love and from the angle of business. How do I love my business? How do I love myself within business? How do I find that excitement and the ability to serve from a place of wanting and getting to, and not from a place of having to, and doing, you know, and sort of feeling the drag.

So, Chana Mason is going to kick it off and tell us how to do it! So It’s, it’s an interesting thing, Bat-Chen, I don’t know if you, actually, I know that you don’t know that the thing that I have been working on over the past three years, and we haven’t been so much in touch, I’ve taken a deep dive into the topic of love.

So at some point, kind of at the end of the, the COVID era that inspired all of us to stretch ourselves and grow. So where I was pushed to stretch and grow is in my capacity to. Experience love, receive love, and move love through me and share it with others. And like most of us, you know, I’ve just created a lot of protections around myself to keep myself from feeling that.

And I’ve put huge amounts of energy into expanding my heart space, doing a lot of heart opening meditations, a lot of deep heart work. And at a certain point, other people started to notice. And people say things like, I feel really safe with you, or there’s light coming off of your face, or there’s something different about you.

And at a certain point I started recording meditations. That was about, about a year and a half ago. And a few months ago, I shared one of these meditations with Uh, girl in her mid twenties who I’ve known pretty much her whole life. She’s my friend’s daughter, but she herself is also my friend. And I shared one of the meditations with her and she’s like, Oh my gosh, you are a radically different human being.

She could hear it in my vocal tone. She’s like, this woman, I don’t know. It was really cool experience because I grew up really strengthening all of my masculine faculties of how to build businesses, how to set goals, how to achieve them, even wrote books about it. Like I know how to do the go, go, go thing.

I went to an Ivy league school, total type A personality, really know how to manifest, but how to be in that feminine, huge, open hearted space. That was a challenge for me. That wasn’t something cause it’s so vulnerable. Most of us don’t really know how to do that. And it’s. Specifically that open hearted space that makes for beautiful marriages.

That’s what breeds intimacy. But we somehow think that in business we’re supposed to be like tight and, and masculine and protected. But what’s been huge for my business is actually the more I open my heart, the more I effortlessly attract clients my way, literally doing nothing. Like, it’s like they come out of nowhere and I’ve stopped marketing.

I stopped being on social media. The content I produce has not a word of marketing in it. So the past year and a half I’ve been producing meditations. When the war started here in Israel on October 7th, the night of October 7th, I got a phone call from one of the people in my meditation community.

And she said, we have to do something. You have to start recording meditations for the war. And for months I was doing one to two meditations a day live over zoom. I was, I was, I was there live on October 8th, first thing in the morning, we did amazing experience. It was the weirdest thing to wake up and really.

You know, what do you do now? And then you sent this message. We’re doing this, you know Massive meditation thing come on in and it was exactly what we needed It was so awesome and you’re saying like October 8th. I’m like, I remember that I was there you cannot forget it It’s what I needed You know It’s what I needed a place to put all of this pain and a place to channel it towards light instead of just falling into despair.

And, you know, hundreds of people shut up for these things over time. And I, I wasn’t selling anything. I wasn’t trying to grow my business. I was really just. What’s my piece? You know, am I really going to be cooking a ton for soldiers? I did that a little bit too, but I could I was like, oh no, this is my contribution.

I’m gonna do this thing I’m gonna hold this meditation space for people to come and feel Healed by and offer healing to the Jewish people. It was total service I wasn’t trying to do anything and then naturally from that place of heart opening from that place of service People started hearing about me and people started inviting me to run live meditation events out of nowhere Like it just happened because I was just in the heart space.

I wasn’t doing business I was doing heart and over time I got good at facilitating meditations because you do that once or twice a day you get good at anything that you do You know for half an hour twice a day and I didn’t like how Zoom was so significantly reducing the quality of the sound that I could theoretically produce if I was with a good mic and decent production.

So last April, so this is like six months ago, I contacted a producer who produces podcasts and I said, Hey, if I recorded the mic, will you put the meditations out there? And he’s like, sure. He said, you know, if instead of you putting the music. If you let me put the music, he said, then I can get even better audio quality.

And I was like, Oh, okay. And then after a few weeks I said, you know, my real big dream is to have you produce sounds specific for the meditation and for what’s coming up in the meditation. And he said to me, you know, before I produce podcasts, I was a. music producer. I’d love to do that. That would be so much fun for me.

And I said, great, go and play, do whatever you want, do what inspires you. And that’s what he’s been doing. And he’s just a gem of a human being. And at no point in these meditations, do I say what I do for a living? How to find me, nothing. I just serve. And I go into a trans state, and I’m feeling the meditation as I’m sharing it, and there’s two things happening.

There’s the words coming out of my mouth, and then there’s the energy coming out of my heart, both of which are going into the microphone. And the energy coming out of my heart is, I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

I can hear it right now.

And every once in a while, I get a message from someone who says, I heard your meditation. Do you do therapy?

Wasn’t my intention. Just love. And it’s, it’s amazing because when I met you, it was very businessy. It was, you had the books you were doing, but. Very funnel. Very intentional. Oh, I was so in the hustle. It was so different. So different. And I remember it was so funny. And can I share this? It’s so vulnerable.

I remember thinking she’s doing business the way I don’t want to do business. You know, like complicated, she’s starting this funnel and she’s getting people to read her book for free. And then she’s going to get them to the, like, I just want to like show up. Right. And I remember having this real conflict, like a person I really appreciate and inspired by, but I don’t know why I don’t connect to the business aspect.

So I just. Like it was very hard. I actually had to do work on this. I gave myself permission to do it my way, and to just go with the guidance that I’m getting. Cause my guidance is, is very much straight from God. Like very intuitive. Do the thing that you’re being led to do and don’t look over to the sides because nobody’s doing it that way, right?

and Anytime I compare myself or I try to do something like someone else. It just never works So I remember very clearly that, and it’s funny to watch how your process has really shifted you away from that because there is something so true and so pure about what you’re doing now that was, you know, slightly missing for me.

I so appreciate your honesty. That’s a pretty vulnerable thing to share. And I’m like, I don’t even feel defensive about it. I’m like literally nodding as I hear you say it. speak. And one of the most helpful things that happened was there was a time that Dr. Ozzie was running these. women’s mastermind groups.

So we were a whole bunch of solopreneurs and I was in a few of these groups. So I’ve met like, I don’t know, 30, 40 solopreneurs over the course of these different mastermind groups. And everyone was trying to, or actually marketing themselves by, you know, having, the email sequences and doing the social media presence and doing the funnels.

We were all doing it and except for one woman whose business was. An Instagram business, like what she does is build people’s Instagram accounts. She loves it, right? Except for her, we all hated being on social media. So I’m feeling what’s happening inside of me of like, I don’t like doing business this way, but I’m hearing it outside of me from woman after woman, after woman, after woman.

And I’m like, God’s not that small, right? People have been in business. For way, way longer than social media has been around. And I noticed every time I would record a video, I’d get super ego driven about what did people comment, did people like, did people this, did people that. And now I just record and there’s just like no ego there.

I just want to love people. It’s really sincerely. And I’m trying to think of like what is the next meditation that I can create and how is it going to serve the Jewish people and how is it going to hit people in their hearts and how is it going to open their hearts? That’s it. And it’s such a cool thing.

And then from that, it’s like, Oh, well, I really enjoy doing breathwork. So I’m going to offer a breathwork event, but I’m not really going to hustle it. I’m just going to post it in a couple places and whoever shows up, shows up and I’m going to do this, you know, and suddenly people are wanting to partner with me to do events and people are approaching me about doing things like it’s just, it doesn’t feel hard.

Yeah. Let’s talk about that. The being and doing of business, because there’s, you know, there’s a real shift that’s happening. So I think that shift is a global shift. We are being called into being and out of doing. And my guess is the vast majority of your audience are people who know how to do the hustle and be well.

And they’ve probably maxed out on their capacity to squeeze the life out of that level of consciousness. There’s somebody named Kyle Sees, who my husband and I are really into, and he talks about there being four levels of consciousness, which we’ve been geeking out on the past couple months. The first of which is the victim state.

It’s I can’t. The second state is the hustle state. It’s, you know, life happens by me. I’m going to make things happen. I’m going to set a goal and go after it. From the perspective of the victim state, this is a huge.

And then you eventually hit a glass ceiling of what this can offer you. And above that is this, where you are working from, where you’re in this place of co creation with God. There’s still desire that’s alive in you and you’re still going after things, but you’re very aware that God is a part of the picture.

And then the highest state of consciousness is, Life happens as me or life happens through me, where all of my energy is focused

on being on being a place where a lot of light can move through being a place where a lot of love can move through. And then, I send out an email to my audience and it’s like, yeah, but those are the little things you know that’s not the, that’s not what I’m spending my work doing I’m spending my time two to four hours a day in meditation.

You know, or some other form of personal work, I’m spending multiple hours a week doing body work or therapy or like a lot of internal work and constantly I’m checking with my body when I’m engaging in this act of business. How does this feel if I feel tight or closed?

No, that’s the hustler and every once in a while. There’s a thought that comes into my head. I really like my meditations How do I get them out into the world more and the hustler comes up to say hello? It’s like oh, well, we can did it up or we could do that. And then I’m like, hmm. No, I don’t want to hustle.

Maybe it’s not my job to get them out into the world Hashem has no prop gods gods like infinite in his capacity to get things out into the world No problem. I’ll just keep recording. Yeah. And it doesn’t mean the hustler’s not there. The hustler’s very there, but it’s the fact that there’s an awareness and a conversation with where I used to just be the hustler.

I didn’t even know that was like a, I didn’t have a consciousness independent of it. Right. Right. It’s your identity. It turns into your identity, right? Like you’re saying when you’re in victim mode, it’s. It’s the identity of the person, you know, they feel like they have to blame and they have to shame, they have to, you know, not take responsibility.

It’s just not part of my identity like, I don’t even have, not even open to me. It’s not a possibility. And when you realize it’s not actually you, then you sort of free yourself to choose differently. And like you said, you have to go through that middle state of. Taking charge and doing the thing for yourself.

And this is something that I find people get lost in a lot of the journey of a woman who always thought she has to do something, you know, everybody else comes first. She’s barely on the list. If she is even on the list and she’s mom, she’s wife, she’s this, she’s that she’s everything, but taking care of her own dreams.

One day when my kids grow up, when my husband retires, when life turns into, you know, like strawberries all around, then I will do this thing that I always dreamed of doing. And it’s really sad because The entire journey, there is a resentment that builds up that I’m doing this alone. I’m never being supported.

Nobody’s taking care of me because I’m taking care of everybody else and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And so, you know, that victim thing. Rears his head because it’s so easy to fall into that, especially when you’re such a giver. So Women go through some sort of process Therapy coaching whatever and they realize hey, I don’t have to be a victim.

I can take responsibility I can do my own thing and then wow, I can even open up a business and do the thing on the side And thrive and whatever and then it gets really good because you’re like wow in this business world thing I’m actually really in control and I’m being appreciated and I’m way more than at home or whatever it is.

I’m giving and receiving and people see my value and blah, blah, blah. I feel really good. And then I come home and there’s this drop in energy and I feel like nobody and nobody appreciates and values and blah, blah, blah. So then suddenly, and that is the point where I want to bring the attention to that is where people stop because they think, now I can control things.

And I got to the point where I don’t want to be a victim anymore. So I’m walking out. I’m leaving. I’m not doing this thing. It’s either this or that. It’s either this or that. And they don’t realize. That they’re not actually done with the work. They only had to go through that stage in order to get to the next stage.

They think they reached the end. But in reality, what you’re just saying now is so powerful and so important for everyone to hear. That is just a stage you have to pass through. Not stay in and not get caught up with. It’s just to get out of victim mentality and victimhood that you have to learn to be in charge and take responsibility.

Take action. Start to live based on your own values and things that really light you up. And then move along to the next level where you can bring God into it and really thrive and really see how You don’t have to work as hard in order to create the results. And you can be wife and be mother without having to show up in certain ways.

And, you know, like I had someone who said, I’m a bad mother because I don’t make meals for my kids. It’s like, you are not. Like, there is no such thing as bad mother, you just are mother, can you just be mother? Right, like, if we can learn to be, be mother, be wife, be business owner, I can just be. And nothing else has to happen.

I just am. There is a different consciousness there that is so powerful. As I’m hearing you speak, what’s coming up for me is like, the victim state is very externally focused. It’s on who’s hurting me. And then the second state is also externally focused. Who’s appreciating me? Right? Who’s giving to me, or who’s liking me, or who’s appreciating me, however you want to put it.

But the being state is taking my focus away from there and bringing it here. And the way I have been focusing on doing that is through Being in my heart through doing heart work and bringing myself back to center. And so I noticed that as I work with clients, this has been happening over the past decade, but over the past two years has just exploded.

Most of my time with my clients, they have their eyes closed. Because what I’m guiding them to do is to go inside. Like, I’m the container and the person who asks questions, but I’m guiding them to go here for the answers, to go here for the resourcefulness, to go here for the light that you’re the one you’ve always been waiting for. The love that you’ve, that you are hustling to get from out there. You know, when you were a victim, you just thought it wasn’t available to you because poor me. And when you’re the hustler, you’re like doing everything you can to get the love from out there, but when you understand that the love is right here and even as you’re talking about God, you’re, your personal experience of God is here, but a lot of people, when you say God, they’re thinking some dude out there.

So they still don’t understand what you’re saying because they’re still thinking that there’s some being out there that if I do just enough good and I check off all the marks, then I’ll finally get the prize. It’s the same hustling thing. And a friend of mine once said to me, God is not a gumball machine.

God’s not a gumball machine. And so it’s all about here. And so can you show up in. The work that you do with other people by being present and really seeing yourself and being with yourself and then being really present and seeing them and being with them. And the part of me that hustles would go through client sessions, trying to accomplish as much as possible.

And over time, I spend a lot more time in silence. Just being and trusting that my presence is enough. Yeah. That’s amazing. Just that. Cause there’s something about someone being totally present with you. That’s what we all craved from our parents. We craved their presence. And even the most present parents weren’t as present as we wanted them to be.

Yeah. Because we wanted a hundred percent and nobody’s a hundred percent, right? But we can be a hundred percent present for ourselves, but it usually requires a closing of eyes. And it’s turning in and an energetic focus on this place right here on the heart,

you know It was so powerful for me when you explained What I thank god and what I this is what I do with my clients This is exactly it when people come to me and say I want what you have and it took me a very long time because for me this was Inborn. I always, it was so obvious.

You didn’t even know that you were the fish in the water. Yeah. I thought everybody speaks to God openly. I thought everybody just turns up and said, Hey God, I’m missing 20 bucks. You know, you want to like figure it out for me. Or when I’m looking for shoes, it happens a lot, you know, I say, I’m, we’re looking for Eliezer’s shoes.

Where are they? You know, help us find them. I have no idea. First of all, I guess the kids looking also, which is great, but I also find that it’s just such a great energy because it’s no longer me looking and I don’t have to have it. You know, if you don’t want me to find them, that’s fine too. It just, we’ll have to figure out a different way, but there’s something so obvious to me that isn’t in the world.

And it took me a long time to realize that that’s what people want from me. Like people sign up to work with me so I can teach them how to hear God. So I can teach them how to find the answers so that I can show them what it means to have a relationship with God, which, you said so beautifully is basically, going within, turning down the volume of all the noise and being able to hear the truth.

Hear the whisper, hear that inner calmest, you know, it’s so calm that you have to really get silent because it’s so relaxed, it’s so calm. Like the calm method that I created is, it wasn’t just calm for no reason. Like there is something so calming about turning to God and being able to listen.

And that calm is a prerequisite for clear thinking, creativity. Joy, connection. We’ve all been around people who are so energetically in the hustle that even when they’re talking to us, we feel like they’re not there, but that’s what we crave. And so, you know, and we crave all of us is to be seen and to be heard and to be in front of an accountant who really sees you and really hears you or to be in the presence of a lawyer or a banker or an internet marketer or or a teacher, like it really doesn’t matter what profession.

The person who’s offering you a good or a service is in. If they see you, you will continue to do business with that person. If they really are present with you and they really see you, because part of that really seeing you also ends up leading to honest business practices. Because if they really see you, they’re not likely to steal from you.

They’re not likely to be slimy with you. They’re not, do you know what I mean? And so, you know, if you’re really seeing that person is so present, you automatically feel like they’re honest. There’s something real there and you feel a connection, you feel a rapport and they sell something and you want to buy it.

Right. But it’s not because you’re selling.

  Hey! Before we continue the episode, I want to ask you something. Are you ready to get answers from God directly? Feel more in love with your husband and more supported than ever? Run the business of your dreams without having to sacrifice any other part of your life? That is exactly what my one on one private coaching is for and I want to invite you, just you and me, for a free deep dive discovery call.

This is a 60 minute free call where I ask you lots of questions and we extract the three main things that are holding you back. I then put together a personalized plan for you where I create a roadmap of recommendations with practical steps. The call is free and so valuable in itself so go book yours today.

Now back to the show.  

I think God is so good that he led me to bring you to talk about love and business where, you know, if I was hustling and thinking like, Oh, we got to get somebody who’s into business and is going to teach us how to love our business and blah, blah, blah. And it’s going to be very strategic and very, you know, doer, doer, doer.

And I’m sitting here going,

You know, because my listeners are sitting there going like, I’m excited. Expecting her to tell me how to love my business. And you’re like, just first love, forget about

into the world and love into yourself and love into other, like business just flows and that is exactly what it’s all about. But it’s so hard to sell that because it’s so fluffy. It’s so, it’s seemingly intangible. So I had an interesting thing happen to me this summer. Somebody who’s been following my stuff for a while had written to me a few years ago, I really want to put together a retreat with you.

And logistically it just kept on happening, whatever, and life and this and that. And finally we pinned a date that we could do it. So we did this retreat this summer, it was a three day retreat. And we book it like a month and a half, two months in advance, and she starts marketing it. And she gets messages from people.

Can I go for just one day? And the cap of the retreat was 20 people. And she writes to me, can people, come for just one day? I’m like, no, it’s a three day retreat. We’re building a really strong community of women who are going to be supporting each other through very intense work. We’re not having people coming in and out.

Don’t worry. It’s going to fill out. A week later, I had a few more people who want to come for just one or maybe just the two, two days of, don’t worry about it. It’s just like that clear thing of whoever’s supposed to show up is going to show up. But I’m very clear on what we’re creating here. Lo and behold, we were booked and had to say no to people.

And then now in January, I have a retreat coming up in South Florida, and it’s the exact same schedule. The content’s going to be new, but the schedule is the same. Also three day retreat. And the organizer wrote to me a couple days ago, you know, there are a few people who want to come for just one day.

Can we maybe make it so they can come for just one day? And I’m like, and it was just such a cool feeling of just like, I’m very clear on what this is about and I’m just going to let God take care of the rest. And somehow the people are going to magically appear. I have no idea how that’s going to happen, but I’m not stressing about it and I’m not hustling about it.

I’ve made the website and the shopping cart and the things that need because, you know, things need a container, but it doesn’t feel like hustling.

It doesn’t mean I don’t ever go into that hut. The hustler comes up to say hello a lot. I’m still a human being very, very much, but it’s shifting less and less. And when I noticed that energy alive in me, there’s, there’s just like a, I go inside. I’m like, I don’t like the way this feels. Because the hustler has a way, a tightening of musculature, a shortening of breath, a fast beating of the heart.

And because I’m constantly checking in with my body, I know what that feels like. And it’s really uncomfortable. Like, mm, doesn’t feel expansive. And recently we had a challenging encounter with our landlord around some financial issue. And my husband and I both watched ourselves, you know, we watched the angry parts of us come up and try to deal with it through anger or through victimhood or through this.

And we just had conversation after conversation. Is there a higher consciousness approach that we can have to this? What is the highest consciousness way that we can address this issue? And it wasn’t easy to know, you know, really took a lot of conversations and a lot of davening, and it took up a lot of bandwidth, to be honest, over the past week, and then at a certain point, we just decided we’re going to make this choice, and then my whole body just like opened up really wide and just felt so liberated and like this whole thing is over, because the energy of constriction is, light can’t come in, in a constricted body, it just can’t.

That’s what they say. You have no happiness. Like the happiness after you make a decision and you have no doubt. You just are open and happy and like done. Done. There is something so beautiful about that moment and you just described it so well and also if God gives you a desire to create something, you know, let’s say the three day retreat, God’s like, okay, go create this three day retreat, someone’s approached you, they want to organize it, they want to put it together, you’re getting along really nicely, everything is beautiful, this is what you’ve created.

Trust that it’s correct. Meaning, she says, oh, can somebody show up for one day? No, that’s not what we created. You know, that’s not the ratzon, that’s not the desire that God put in us. Trust that the calling that God gave us is correct. And it could be that we’ll have less people show up. Or we’ll have just the right people show up.

But if we’re very quick to say yes because we’re scared, or we want to please those people, then they’re going to take up spots that really belong to the people who are supposed to be there.

You alluded to this and I want you to talk deeper into it because it’s one of the things that left the biggest impression on me when we first encountered each other. It’s about the lie detector test and how your body is the lie detector test. This is something that I really took, it really stuck with me and I’ve been teaching it.

I want you to talk a little bit about that because the listeners might be in that place where they’re not sure yet. What it means to have the feeling of expansion versus the tightness and what that he what is what is this? What does that even mean? What does that even mean? What’s my body trying to tell me and why would I listen to my body if it feels like it’s trying to you know?

Work against me What’s going on? What’s going on? It’s a great question. Yeah, it’s like one of those things I’ve come to take for granted, so I appreciate you asking me to kind of slow that down. So the first thing I want to say is when people talk about expanded consciousness, that language sounds so highfalutin that we think it has something to do with like being high on weed and like out in outer space and flying through the stratosphere.

It’s not. It’s not. Expanded consciousness is actually a physiological experience. It’s an experience in your body of being capable of holding in your awareness more than the limitations of your body. So right now, you can look forward and see all of the stuff in your peripheral vision. If you’re calm and you feel safe, your peripheral vision is accessible to you.

And if you pay attention, you can feel your toes. You probably didn’t have toes until I said that, but you could also feel a little bit around your feet, like beyond the limitations of where your physical body ends, you could sort of sense that there’s something around there. So all of that area around you has information for you.

Otherwise, you wouldn’t have the capacity to sense it. It would be useless. Your body doesn’t do things that are useless. Now, what happens when you are in a stress state, okay, if you go into an adrenal state, fight or flight, all of these physiological things happen. More blood flow goes to your extremities so that you can tighten your muscles and get ready to run or fight.

Your breathing becomes really shallow. Your heart rate goes up. Your digestion shuts down. because digesting a sandwich is just not particularly useful when you’re in the presence of a wild cougar. You know what I mean? The sandwich can wait till later which is why most people when they get nervous, they either get diarrhea or constipation.

That’s two different versions of digestion shutting down. And their hands might sweat or shake a little bit, all of their muscles get tense, their posture tends to close in, but their awareness also closes in. Your vision becomes myopic, meaning you get like tunnel vision and you lose access to your peripheral vision.

And that’s helpful so that you can hyper focus on the wild cougar who’s chasing you. So your vision gets really, really keen, but when we’re running our businesses, almost never are we actually in danger, in physical danger. We don’t need to do any of this stuff, but you know, our mother in law or, you know, the guy who didn’t pay you last week for the service that you offered him or whatever it is might put you into that state.

And it actually limits how much access you have to everything out here. And because you lose access to everything out here, you’re dumber, you’re less creative, you’re less capable. And part of how you experience that is when you’re talking to someone and you ask them, Hey, how did your weekend go?

They’ll either look up, or to the side, or down. They’ll say, Oh, well, I was with my parents and then I took a nap and you know, I read this book and Oh, I saw this really awesome movie and Oh, what was the name of that actor? See what my eyes are doing. We all do this. We actually search in our periphery to access memory, but we also search in our periphery to invent a new future.

This is where our creativity lives is here. When you’re myopic, every time I ask a client, when you’re believing that thought or you’re believing that story. Are you more creative or less? And they always say less. Do you feel smarter or dumber? Dumber. Is your thinking clear or cloudy? Cloudy. Every time.

Everybody has the same experience. And do you have more energy or less? And they always say less. So when you are in that constricted, stressed out place. You are less resourceful, less capable, and dumber. Period. So, it’s not a great idea to be believing things and believing stories that put you into this state.

That’s just if you want to be happy and resourceful. But it also happens that the way lie detector tests work. function, is they’re actually assessing the level of stress in your body. And they do that depending on the lie detector, but usually based on heart rate. And also they can sometimes test like if your palms are getting sweaty, but it’s usually based on heart rate, that if your heart rate starts going up, they know that you are lying.

Meaning when you lie, unless you’re psychotic and like a, not a psychotic, what is it called? Whatever like, someone who psychically manipulates other people, right? That’s like a very thin slice of the population.

For most of us, when we lie, we get stressed out. Yeah, it’s an automatic, it’s an automatic. You cannot control it. Your heart rate will go up. So the opposite is also true. If you’re notice your body doing this, you know, immediately you’re believing a lie. You might think it’s true. It might feel true to parts of you, but if it were true, it would create a feeling of calm and expansiveness.

And in that calm, expansive place, you’re smarter, you’re more creative, you can find more solutions. And we’ve all had that experience where, you know, the kids are screaming, and it’s right before Shabbat, and we’re all stressed out, and da da da da da. And you can’t find anything, you burn your food more, things break.

Like, you’re just less coordinated, less capable, more snappy. You can’t find solutions to really easy problems, because you’re believing things that aren’t true. Because it’s not that the kids are screaming, it’s that you’re believing the kids shouldn’t be screaming. Or you’re believing that they don’t love you, or that they don’t respect you, or something like that.

That’s what leads you into that totally stressed out state. It’s not the behavior of the kids itself, it’s your story about it. I usually cut myself when I’m believing I’m not doing it well, or I should be doing this differently, or, you know, like, the kids are, you know, usually there’s kids in the

I’m trying to do it faster. I’m trying to do the, like, I’m in a different energy than I should be and I’m like, Oh, it’s because you know, when you start, when you get into that, I know for sure, I’m going to have to get like a bandage. I need a bandage just to have it ready. And so now I’ve learned to pause and stop cutting.

I’m like, okay, we got to stop before something happens. I take a deep breath. I need to figure out what’s going on. And then. What is it? What is exactly the moment like what do you what do you notice in your body that makes you pause? Yeah, and I I feel the jitters. I feel my body vibrating from thinking I need to do more and that’s the point when you said let’s talk about doing and being Like doing versus being.

I think that’s the point. That’s where I, I always catch it when I have this, like, do, do, do, do. We got to make the food. We got to do the thing. We got to get these kids out. We got to, right. It’s like, because you’re not enough and there isn’t enough.

Yeah. It’s so different. The difference between doing from the place of not enough versus doing from the place of abundance. There’s so much, it’s like there’s so much beauty that I want to participate in it as opposed to there isn’t enough and I’m not enough and I have to figure out how I’m going to earn it and how am I going to get that love?

And so the cut is a gift to make you stop. So now I don’t need the cut. Thank God. Thank you. I’ve grown out of the past. Really like a lot of my memories of stressed out times, like, thank God I’ve been out of that for a long time. And I’ve been doing this work for many years. But anytime I think back to like, where was I then?

I’m always Somewhere trying to cut the cucumbers fast so that we can get this show on the road so that we could get the kids in bed so that we could just do this thing, you know, and it’s always the do, do, do. And like you said, not enough. I remember going to a retreat with Lea Roni and she did a meditation where you had to find the thing in your body that is causing you stress.

And it was this thing, you know, on my, the corner and the back of my neck and. And it felt like plastic or something like that. And we had to ask, what’s your name? And so I said, what’s your name? And it said, Nuffie. And I was like, Nuffie, what’s that? And he’s like, I, I, you’re not enough. So I’m Nuffie.

And I was like, wow. And so I went into a whole conversation with Nuffy about how I’m not a good enough mom, and I need to figure it out, and I’m not making meals, and I’m not on top of things, and blah blah blah, and this whole conversation. And then, I don’t know what she said in the meditation, but it took my attention to a different part of my neck, the other side, that was also, you know, sort of tense.

And I was like, wait, so what’s your name? And it wouldn’t tell me. And I was like, okay, I gotta come back to you, because it seems like you’re not ready to talk to me, but we gotta have a conversation. Because if this side is telling me nuffie, and I’m not enough in parenting, this other side is probably about my marriage, and I need to get to the bottom of it.

So, you know, it was really beautiful. Meditation was great. We come out of the meditation. I start writing down everything Nafi said and then whatever happened, happened that night. I took the time to get it back into the meditation and talk to the other side. I was like, I really want to know what’s your name.

And it said, I am who I am. And I thought, what? That sounds very similar to what God says about himself. Like, you know, I am. So Moses at the burning bush, man. Like what’s going on? Like, what does this even mean? And the whole takeaway of that whole conversation was that being a wife means you just are wife.

You do not need to do anything. I came to a very big realization and this is totally not the subject for today, but it’s coming up. So we got to say it. That led me. Many years later to realize something very important. There is a concept in Jewish law That a man and a woman are not allowed to be together in a room because it’s you could it’s you know they’re together and Even just to get something from the room and even just to have a meeting and even just whatever and no nothing not allowed But if they’re married They’re allowed to be together in the room.

Obviously, they’re married, but what if she’s not allowed to him? You know, she just got her period. She’s not allowed to be with him. What now? Why are they allowed to be in the same room locked up when they’re not allowed? And the answer is something very strange. They say Pat besaro. His bread is in his basket.

What does that mean? It means that he knows he has lunch. Like, you go out to work and you know you have your, your lunch. So you’re not starving, and you’re not looking where you could get food, and you’re not searching for it. You just know you have it. And just knowing you have your bread in your basket makes you calm and doesn’t bring up all these, you know, Searchings and things, whatever.

And I thought to myself, isn’t that amazing? The concept of Pat Vesalot, the bread in his basket, is global. It’s not just for this one moment where they’re allowed to be together in the room because they’re husband and wife and he knows that eventually she’ll be available to him.

It’s that he has a wife! That’s all he needs. He just needs to know he has a wife. So when we think we’re not enough, we don’t get it. We don’t get it. We just are. Just being wife. Yes, you are wife. You are enough just by the fact that you are wife. You are here. Here I am, I am here, I exist, and it, it hit me again recently when we had the tragedy of Adina Zehavi, who was an amazing woman, and she’s, you know, it was a very tragic fire, and she saved her kids, and then ended up suffocating.

And when she passed away, then you suddenly realize what it means. To not be you know, it was these kids are still getting fed. They’re still being driven around everything the mother thought, you know, she she was always enough but everything a mother thinks She is not enough in I don’t feed them enough.

I don’t take them enough. I don’t spend time enough I don’t blah blah blah enough. They don’t really need those things as much as they need to know you are there You just are. You are my mother. They just want your presence. They just want her presence. That’s all they want. Like, even if you’re in a different country, when you know you have mother, you have mother.

You have nothing to worry about. And then when people lose their mother from a different country, they suddenly realize, Oh, I don’t have mother. Like what, what is this? Right? That feeling there is something that you feel as mother and wife that is so being and so not doing that when we can tap into that, everything else we do flows with such calm energies.

Suddenly, you’re like, you are. And the calm energy produces more efficiency, more productivity. Like one of the errors that we have in Western culture is we think that we have to be tense in order to be productive. People are like, oh, if I’m relaxed, I won’t get anything done. And it’s like, no, if you’re relaxed, you get a lot more done.

You make less mistakes. You think straighter. You find how to get from here to there more efficiently. Yeah, I used to see it as the graphic designer, right? When I would just be like, okay, God, let’s do it. And I’d focus and be all calm and not like grabby about it. Like, I have to figure it out. I would design things in zero time.

And it would come out amazing. And anytime I think I’m in control and I need to get this done, I need to get this right. And these people are paying me a lot of money and I better get, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I was so attached to the result and so icky that I could work for three days straight and not get something that was.

Satisfactory and everything about that felt icky and then I would bring it to them and they’d be like, I don’t know It’s not what we want and I’d be like, I worked so hard on it and like why am I not getting paid per hour? You know like that energy was not not aligned Not aligned, not aligned, which is why it’s so powerful to not be paid per hour. It’s like you, to, to be paid for results, you know, to, the people who are the, you know, the big entrepreneurs creating businesses where they’re innovating in such huge ways like Elon Musk. It would be so constricting to Elon Musk to pay him by the hour.

Right? There’s just so much expansion there and his capacity to believe in what is possible and the amount of presence he brings to everything he does, just like huge. It’s like otherworldly. I’m thinking about when you said about the being. There’s this book Christians We Know recommended that we read on parenting that I wish I read before my son was born.

And we read way, he was too old to really apply most of the principles in the book because they really apply to toddlerhood more than anything else. It’s called Raising Godly Tomatoes. And it’s based on the premise that you are the steaks on which the tomato vine wraps itself around.

Okay. And at the core is the Ten Commandments. Honor thy father and thy mother, meaning You are father. You are mother. God chose you to be the parent of this kid. When you ask yourself the question, am I a good parent? Which I asked all the time when my son was young. And it was the biggest mistake I made.

Because it kept me from being mother. And it made me insecure. And it put him in charge instead of me in charge. And what he needed was an adult who was in charge. A fallible, constantly making mistakes adult is so much better than a kid being in charge. Always. And that book was just so clear on it.

You are the parent, period. You are exactly what your kids need, and God put you in this role. And there’s a lot of faith in that. There’s a lot of faith in that, to just know that you are exactly, God put you exactly where you’re supposed to be. Serving the people you serve, taking care of the people you take care of, being friends with the people you’re friends with.

And the more you go into being, the more you attract higher order people into your space, and it’s gorgeous. It is. In the Schaeffer Method, they say, if your child was meant to have a perfect mother, Then you would be perfect. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Yeah. There is something very exact about the fact that you are messed up.

Every single one of us has to grow up in a situation where the adult wasn’t perfect. because we are learning to be imperfect. And if we were meant to have a perfect parent, then our parents would be perfect. But obviously they’re not because that’s not what God meant.

Yeah. I love how we came full circle. We touched on everything possible. That’s the goal. Yeah. It’s been such a pleasure speaking with you. And your baby has just been this sweet presence, probably very calming for you. Look at this. So cute. So cute. It’s so sad to see someone not feeling their best, but it’s so mushy.

They’re also so cuddly. I know, I know. So I wish her, you know, lots of health and lots of cuddle. And to all of Amistral that we should all have good health and good protection and our soldiers should be protected in everything that they do. Amen. Hostages should be returned home. Yeah. You know, things keep coming into my mind and I’m like, Hashem, you really want me to say that?

Anyway, so, I will! But there was, there’s a book I bought at the latest retreat I was in, and it’s called Write Your Way Home. And it’s really beautiful. It’s a whole bunch of prompts and it has a little clock on the side. Like this is a five minute prompt. This is a 10 minute prompt. Like just write as much as you can for 10 minutes about this or five minutes about this.

And then they have longer ones, you know, with a process and a journey. And they broke it down by topic, you know, if you’re, if you want to work on anxiety, if you want to work on depression, if you want to work on expansion, whatever, they have a ton of topics, but I actually find it really fun to randomly open it to anything and just read the first thing that comes into my eyes.

And, this week. I opened up and it said something about write a letter from God to you telling you of all the things that he has in store for you, it was so amazing to your jerkhead. Oh, you know what? The first thing was that you’re going to live to see the temple. You’re actually going to be part of the story.

You know, you’re going to get to be in there like with me dancing. And I was like, yes, that’s what I’m in for. That is my entire life. I every time I go up to the temple Mount, right. And I first, you know, I prepare myself, I go and I, and I dunk and I’m ready. And, you know, I do all the proper things and I go in the proper places, but every time I’m there at the end, I say, thank you.

You know, I say, thank you for letting me come here. So we can cry together because the fact that I’m here means that I will come back here to dance and then suddenly to be told that in the, in the meditation journaling session thing, it was so beautiful, but like, it’s just just thinking about when you think of the big picture, right?

We’re talking about love and business. When you think of the big picture, All right. It’s not about this specific funnel and this specific thing that you’re doing in your business and you’re trying to get this client or, you know, this launch, it’s so much bigger and when you can expand your capacity to.

See all that love and all that abundance Then what you need to do right now will just have to flow It will just have to work because you’re on the track and that’s what meditation for me is and that’s what? Prayer has become a meditative act also. So I’m spending all these hours every day just blissing out with God And then I come back into my regular day and I’m like, okay, how do I bliss out in conversation with Barghain?

How do I bliss out, you know, in conversation with my clients? How do I bliss out while I’m chopping the cucumbers? You know, it’s like, how do I bring that frequency into this world? And that is Olam Haba. We are building that world of bringing that kind of consciousness into the simple acts that we do.

And if you don’t bring it into your business. And you’re spending eight to 10 hours a day on it or four hours a day on it or two hours a day on it. Like that’s time that you’re not with God, but God is supposed to be everywhere. Love is every, God and love to me are, are synonyms, right? So it’s, you know, and yeah, so I do, I do have to go cause I do have a client who I love very much and I want to spend time with, so tell everybody where they can find you.

Cause even though you’re not telling anyone, but they still, we’re going to ask you. Oh, so yeah, so at hannahmason. com. And anywhere you listen to podcasts or Insight Timer, you can find my meditation podcast. It’s just, it’s, it’s not a talking podcast, it’s just meditations called Inspirations by Chana Mason.

And that’s like my big love right now. I would love for your audience to just check out. meditations and see, you know, and I would love feedback. And if people have a specific area of their life or something they’re struggling with, I would, they would love a meditation for it. So please reach out to me because I’m always looking for ideas of what to create next.

Yeah. Awesome. I love it. Thank you so much, Hannah Mason for being with us. And come back next week for another amazing episode. Don’t forget to be connected for real.

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