Transcript:

Welcome to the Connected For Real podcast. I’m Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman, a marriage coach for women in business. And my mission is to bring God’s presence into your life, into your marriage and into your business. Let’s get started.

 And we are live. Welcome everyone to the connected for real podcast. As you guys know, doors are open to working with me in my private coaching program balance for God’s sake. If you want more information about that, go to connected for real. com slash coaching, and we’ll be able to see all the details.

Today we’re talking about. God wants you to be successful. And this is something that came up because I ran a free training called Four Steps to Guarantee Your Marriage Survives Your Success. And it was a real success. I’m so grateful to you for coming, for listening, if you were there, if you came afterwards and watched the replay.

Thank you, thank you. If you haven’t watched the replay yet, get on it. It is only going to be available for a week, but really it’s so good. And if you have no idea what I’m talking about, come on, get on my email list. Go on connectedforreal. com and just put in your email And respond to any of the emails that you get, and I will send you the replay. So Today’s episode is all about God wants you to be successful.

I titled it that because it is so. Mind blowing to me, how many people are living their lives, being in this world, walking around with this belief that God is out to get them. I don’t know where that came from. It doesn’t make any sense. But there is something so painful about that lie. It is not true. God loves you and he does not want anything negative for you.

If anything, he is good and good and good and good and more good. He is so much goodness that even the limitations that we have are for our own good. So, the first thing is this story that I once heard, that I really love. It was about, you know, this old fashioned shoe store, where the rabbi came in and he needed shoes.

And so the man got up and was like, Rabbi! Thank you for choosing my store. Come sit down. And then he screams to his son, Yossi, go get him the biggest shoes we have. And the rabbi is like, wait, wait, but I don’t need the biggest shoes. I’m like a size 10. And he’s like, nevermind what your size is. You deserve the biggest shoes.

And he’s like, Yossi, get him an 11. No, a 12, whatever you have the biggest thing, you know, and he’s like screaming to him in the back and. The rabbi’s like, but wait, that’s not my size. And you get like this is so ridiculous, right? It’s like, why would you want to sell me the biggest size just because I’m important or just because you think that’s what I deserve in reality?

If I try. wearing the biggest size shoe and it doesn’t fit me, I’m just going to stumble. I’m going to fall. I’m not going to be able to walk. And then what’s the point of having shoes, right? So it’s the same thing. When we have limitations in our lives, we’re thinking, I want to be a millionaire and I’m not there yet.

And I deserve to be there. And just. Because, you know, And the reason why I’m not is because God is out to get me or there’s a limitation on me or something is wrong because I am not there yet, you know, and it’s like. Even if you were able to, some magically, you know, grab that there yet and bring it to you and be like, I’m a millionaire right now.

There’s a big chance that you will stumble. There’s, there’s, you know, almost inevitable that you’re going to fall because you don’t have the capacity to hold what you don’t have, right? There’s a reason why it’s there and not here because you are. You are in a journey, and you are hopefully going to get there, sure, you can strive to get there, but being all grabby and annoyed about not having it yet, should make you realize that, hey, one second, let me pause.

There is something I need to learn. There’s something I need to do. There’s something I need to level up. There’s a skill and a muscle and a capacity that I get to expand in order to have that and truly be able to hold it, right? So obviously with shoes, you can’t grow your size, you know, just by pressing a button or wanting it to grow.

But the idea is that if you don’t have something that you think you should have, it’s not because something is wrong, but it’s because right now you have everything you need in order to get to the next level. And if you had something that wasn’t right for you, it would not be good for you. Okay. So that’s how good God is.

Everything you need, you have. And God is constantly setting up for the next stage, the next level, right? So if you think about your life from the minute that you were born, you have been set up to continue to grow, to keep doing the next thing. You were taught skills that were necessary in order for you to get to the next level and the next level and the next level and everything.

Good or bad, scary or annoying, or frustrating, or miserable, that you had to go through until this point. Was custom made perfectly designed tailored sewn To your size and to your needs so that you could be here so that you could have your story so that you can have Your beliefs so that you can have your journey so that you can have the experiences you had in Order to give you what you need for the next level.

So instead of Believing all these things about God and, you know, My mentor calls them God baggage, and that’s what I call it when I talk about it in my program. God baggage is all the things we believe about God that are just weighing us down. They’re not true, and they just feel heavy. And they’re not serving us.

They’re not getting us to where we want to go. Okay? So, let’s talk about God baggage. I want to put this out here because I Got so many responses of like, yeah, I already got something good. So I can’t push it you know, I’m not gonna ask for the next thing yet because I’m afraid that it will like Undo the good thing.

I already got you know, things like that like trying to calculate for God what he It’s supposed to do or, you know, getting into his business, like, stop, stop. Okay. God is capable of give you good and then more good and automatically more good for no reason just because he loves you. And there is no need for you to calculate and to get into his whatever’s okay.

So get out of his wallet. Stick to your job. Your job in this world is to show up, to have a relationship with God and to stay in alignment so that you can do the thing you’re here to do. And the most important thing to do when, when doing that is Stay connected, but how can you stay connected with God if you feel resentful, if you feel angry, if you feel frustrated or like you’re being bossed around or, you know, told what to do and it’s just like a one way like, you know, shouting match of, just do this, do that.

You’re not good enough. Blah, blah, blah. Like, no. No. Okay. So let’s break this down. God baggage, as we said, all the negative things that you believe about God that are weighing you down. It could be that it came from the way that you grew up. It could be things you heard. It could be that from all the things that you saw throughout your life, you made certain assumptions about God that weren’t true, and they just keep reinforcing themselves. So, I know a lot of people have this thing when they’re little, Oh, God just, you know, tells me what to do.

There’s all these rules. There’s all these regulations. All these things are out to, you know, limit my life. I’m not free to do what I want. I’m not free to, just have my life. And that’s not true, right? It is possible that that was the attitude that you grew up around. And that’s what.

Attitude you adopted when you were trying to figure the world out, but in reality You have the freedom to choose whatever you want. And the reason why you are living the lifestyle that you are living is completely up to you and your choices. Now that will bring us to the next God baggage of you have, God is going to like burn me or get me if I don’t do the right thing. So I am doing things that aren’t for the right motives, right? And it’s like, I’m just selfish here. I don’t want to burn. I’m afraid of the consequences of what will be, you know, it’s like the lowest level relationship, right? If we’re thinking of. a relationship in this world like, you know, husband and wife or father and child.

If you’re afraid and you’re only doing the things that you have to do because you don’t want to get punished, then you’re not really doing them for the highest reason. It’s more like, I just want to survive. Right? And like, Eh, it’s great you still get the credit, but you’re not fully there and that’s not where you want to be.

And so if you are in a situation where you feel trapped, like I’m doing it because I have to, but I don’t actually feel free to choose. And if I chose differently, then I’d have to pay a terrible price and this and that and the other. So take a deep breath awareness. This is God baggage. We’re not going to get into how to solve it right here But we are going to bring awareness to the fact that it’s not true that you are swimming in a story that is not serving you and creating a lot of negative emotions within you and then what happens with those negative emotions the resentment the frustration the anger the feeling like a victim, it all bubbles up and eventually explodes.

And we don’t want that because when we explode, it doesn’t usually explode. Well, so let’s work proactively to take care of those. God baggage beliefs and sort of take away their power, look into them, ask, discover what you really actually do want. And then you’ll have a much easier time going for what you want, showing up the way you want, being who you really know you can be.

And when I say in my calm method, what do you really want? A lot of people get very scared. Like, what do you mean, I want all these worldly things, like, I want things that seem not the right things to want, you know, it’s like, I’m not just going to go for whatever I want, then I’m going to end up in like not the right place for me.

But when I say what do you really want, there’s depth there. And what you really, truly want deep, deep inside your pure soul. It is for you to be yourself, is for you to be you, is for you to show up authentically as yourself and do the thing you’re here to do. And all of that other noise is just distractions from that deepest, purest place.

So if you say, what do you really want? Well, I just want chocolate. Chocolate’s fine. I love chocolate too. But that’s not what you really want. There’s something so, so deep and it’s hard to go down there when you’re afraid of finding out what you really want. And why are we afraid? Because we think it’s impossible.

We think, what’s the point of knowing what I want if I can’t have it? Then I’m just going to walk around being all annoyed. But the opposite is true. If you keep pushing away that calling, if you keep pushing away that soul purpose that is so clear to you deep down inside, because honestly you can’t run away from it.

You know it so clearly. In every part of your being, you are vibrating this need to shine glow and you know, impact. So, by pushing it away and not giving it any space or any time and not asking the question and ignoring and trying to distract yourself, what you’re doing is you’re suffocating your soul.

And you’re doing that only because of a God baggage. You don’t believe God can take you there. You don’t believe that you can get there. Or even worse, you don’t believe you deserve to be there. What is that garbage? We all deserve to be in our purpose because that’s the point. We were here. Like, you don’t even have to deserve.

You already are here. So, you already deserve to be in your purpose. You already deserve to be. Where you are, and all of the outside trappings, the limitations, the beliefs, the noise, are all limitations that a lot of times we put on ourselves because we don’t think we can, or we don’t think that we deserve, we don’t think that we’re worthy, and so we’re like, ah, nevermind, I’m just going to hold on to all these stories.

  Hey! Before we continue the episode, I want to ask you something. Are you ready to get answers from God directly? Feel more in love with your husband and more supported than ever? Run the business of your dreams without having to sacrifice any other part of your life? That is exactly what my one on one private coaching is for and I want to invite you, just you and me, for a free deep dive discovery call.

This is a 60 minute free call where I ask you lots of questions and we extract the three main things that are holding you back. I then put together a personalized plan for you where I create a roadmap of recommendations with practical steps. The call is free and so valuable in itself so go book yours today.

Now back to the show.

 I had, personally, a really strong story that, I’m not organized enough in order to be successful and deeper than that one of my biggest fears was when I’m poor, I’m connected to God and when I’ll be rich, I will probably not because in my mind they went together, right? It was like, you’re either connected or you’re disconnected.

And all the stories I’ve ever heard are all these poor people talking to God and asking for what they need and boom, they got it. So, you know, it’s, it’s a great way of growing up and knowing that God is always with you, but God is with you also when you’re rich. More than that, when you’re rich and you’re actually going and doing the thing that God wants you to do, you know, if they go together, not always, but whatever it is, God is always with you no matter what.

So exhale all that noise. Exhale all those beliefs. Let’s get down to the basics. God wants you to be successful. And someone asked me, How can you say, in your title, Four Steps to Guarantee Your Marriage Survives Your Success? How can you guarantee anything? And I want to tell you, I can’t guarantee a thing.

Because I’m human, and I am limited too. And I can’t even guarantee what we’ll be in one hour. But I can 100 percent guarantee. Guarantee that when you are in alignment with God and you are doing your soul’s purpose and you are finally shining and finally giving yourself permission to get out of the limitations, then God’s unlimited listness is going to be with you.

And there’s no way that anything can hurt you or your values. When you are in alignment, and I’m talking about marriage because I’m a marriage coach and I love that topic I think is the core of everything else But just the same if you have other values like staying connected to God if you’re connected to God Then you will not lose that value.

If your value is to be charitable You are not gonna lose that value even when you’re successful if your value is to be connected to your community You’re not going to be a snob overnight just because you made it It doesn’t work like that. Your identity does not necessarily shift when you go after your calling, when you do the thing you’re doing.

And I’ve been talking a lot about when you’re held back or holding yourself back, but I want to also bring your attention to the other side of the coin. There’s a lot of women who are already successful. They already have businesses or they already are. Doctors, lawyers, whatever’s a successful career in a successful place.

I’m making a lot of money. I’m doing the things But there’s something that’s keeping me stuck. There’s something that’s holding me down. I feel like I can’t Get anywhere same thing same story because it does not matter how successful you are What matters is your connection with god And you cannot have a good relationship when all you’re thinking about is how mean, how bossy, how controlling, how annoying, how out to get me God is.

It just does not work. It does not compute. You obviously would not want to have any relationship with anybody who is human like that. So why would you want to talk to God? Why would you want to open up? Why would you want to trust Him? Why would you want Him in your life? So that’s where the core problem is.

Because if we can deal with the god baggage, which by the way is something we do very often in my program, I have trainings and we also go deep into it in our one on one sessions because it is the core.

So no matter where you are in your journey, if you’ve started, haven’t started yet, already dipped a toe, are already a couple years in, are already a bunch of years in, you’re already established and making millions, I don’t care. If you feel like you’re Unfulfilled in some way or if you feel like you are not a hundred percent in alignment with your marriage And there’s something that is holding you back because your husband isn’t fully on board Because there’s something that isn’t clicked into place I invite you to come and join me for a free discovery call.

Let me show you it is possible. And just knowing it’s possible is enough. Because then you will know what to do next. God will guide you. It’s so beautiful. It’s so beautiful. The skill of listening to God’s guidance is life changing.

And I want that for you. Not just because I want it, because you want it. Because you know that living your life with this Secret passion that is never seeing light because you’re waiting for your kids to grow up, for your husband to retire, for some magical thing to happen, for the financials to finally, fall into place, for all this stuff that seems very responsible.

In reality, you are not expanding yourself to contain it. Because you’re not making room, right? What happens when most of us are keeping ourselves back? Holding ourselves back? And by the way, we go through stages, through, you know, seasons. I have seasons where I’m like, Woohoo! I’m going to, do all these things and, and expand in this way.

And then there are seasons where I just wanna Not. It’s fine if I’m just doing the basics. And that’s why I love having this business and the ability to record ahead of time and just have things running in the background and automations and delegation and all the things I teach because I know that the seasons are real.

Because we’re women and that’s how we work. God made us that way. And so therefore God also guides us to how to make it work. But if you’re sitting there resentful, it gets harder and harder to light up because the muscle of pushing it down and dimming yourself gets stronger and stronger because every time you push yourself down the List of importance.

Oh, I need a nap. I need a break. I need a shower. But no, I can’t because everybody else needs me or You’re not talking about the things you want because you’re afraid of how others are going to react or you’re not honest about your wins because you know, oh, yeah, well that win came with a lot of neglect, you know, in other areas.

So why are you celebrating? This should be like a wake up call, blah, blah, blah. Right. There’s a lot, a lot of. The struggle between how do I find that balance and when we can stop that cycle, that loop of pushing yourself down and dimming yourself, what’s going to automatically start to happen is you’re going to start to see more and more light.

You’re going to start to be allowed. Give yourself permission to shine, to grow, to glow, to impact, to touch other people’s lives, to touch your own life, right? One of the biggest takeaways when I ask my clients, what did you get out of this? It’s the atmosphere in the home has completely shifted. My husband has completely reinvented himself.

I have no idea how he did that. I did not touch him. I didn’t do anything, right? It’s almost like me allowing myself to grow and change and expand has allowed him to grow and expand as well. So many women say their husband’s got a better job or a raise or are making more money in their business. Not because of anything they did, but because they stopped being so grabby.

They stopped being so negative. They started to give permission to themselves, modeling how others can do that too. And so your closest people to you are going to start to suddenly breathe better when you give yourself permission to breathe.

So my job here is to give you that glimpse of hope that will get you to keep going. I am bringing you examples of people who have done it so that you know it’s possible. And I am recording these podcasts and showing up because I believe that all it takes is. The belief in yourself, the belief in God, and then the belief that this is the right program for you.

And you know what? If this isn’t the right program for you, that’s okay because the other two are so strong on their own that they will guide you to whatever program is right for you. You know, it’s also so funny, like, when we talk about collaborations and stuff. I love collaborating. I love cross pollinating with other coaches and with other counselors and therapists and you know, just business owners because it’s not a competition.

See we go back to that God baggage. God has handpicked every single one of the ladies, who are going to work with me. Handpicked. Not only that, he’s preparing. He’s preparing you to be able to contain what I’m saying. He’s preparing you to know that this is right for you. He’s preparing you to know exactly how to pay for it.

Like every little detail is done. It’s all taken care of. So I’m not worried about you finding out about someone else. If you’re meant to work with me, you will. And if you’re meant to work with her, you will. So it’s to my advantage to make that clear. Connection, to bring her on and have you be introduced to her.

And this is like a mind blowing idea of how much that God baggage has seeped into so many parts of our lives. To the point where sometimes people are afraid to take certain actions because somebody will hurt them. Nobody can hurt you when you are In alignment, nobody can hurt you when you are in God’s hands.

The problem starts when we tell God, Leave me alone. Move aside. I will do it myself. Thanks, but no thanks. And then We’re on our own and that stinks. It does not feel good and that’s when you feel alone And that’s when you feel like nothing is working and I don’t know and I can’t figure this down and why I mean Why is this so hard?

It’s like my favorite thing. I used to say this all the time Why is this so hard and you know, why it’s so hard because God isn’t here because God’s missing the second you bring God in That’s it. You’ve completely transformed the situation because now instead of a limited person having this in their hands and Seeing only limited parts and only limited Options what’s happening now?

Is that God the unlimited, the creator, right? So he’s creative. He knows exactly what needs to happen next, and he’s going to help you and show you and guide you and take you there because now he’s a partner because now he’s in, so this whole podcast is about. You becoming aware of the God baggage that is holding you back. That’s it. Because as soon as you become aware, the rest is easy stuff. It’s easy stuff. It really is. You’re going to know exactly what to do. It’s going to come easy as soon as you’re like, Oh, that’s what she’s talking about. This is holding me back.

And I invite you. so warmly to come and talk to me. I am a real person and I am so nice and I love talking to people. One of the reasons why I opened my calendar to free discovery calls is because I need to have human interactions, and I’m a people person, so what works for me, maybe doesn’t work for other people, but it is my favorite part.

The favorite part of my job is meeting you, and meeting the other women who I meet, and then giving my advice. It’s what I do to come alive. It makes me happy. It fills me up. I go back into my other roles feeling fulfilled, being able to fill other people. It feels so good. So just so you know, it is not taking advantage of me.

I do it very happily and willingly. And not only that, it is a win win because I get to fill my cup and you get to come and get guidance and get the roadmap and get that clarity that you need in order to know exactly what to do next. I will invite you to work with me in balance for God’s sake, my private coaching program, which by the way, is three months where you get full access to me. VIP service.

You get WhatsApp support, which is Anytime you have anything to ask, to say, to, you know, I’m stuck. Tell me, let me know. I’m right here with you. I am in your pocket at any time. You also get actual sessions with me. One on one sessions. This is a private coaching program. It’s not group. It is not just do it yourself.

It is a hundred percent held, hand held. I am with you throughout the whole journey. And you get sessions and trainings and a library of meditations that you can tap into any time, and they are very, very powerful. And don’t worry, we don’t do overwhelm around here, so I will let you know as part of my roadmap what you should be consuming, what you should do first, what’s going to come next, and so on.

So, definitely Schedule your discovery call, come let’s see how I can help you get closer to that purpose, to that calling, to you feeling your best self and being able to be confident in your skin. I love you, I can’t wait to see you, and don’t forget to be connected for real.

 And that’s it! Thank you for listening to the very end. I would love if you can leave a review and subscribe to the podcast. Those are things that tell the algorithm this is a good podcast and make sure to suggest it to others. Wouldn’t it be amazing if more people became more connected for real? And now take a moment and think of someone who might benefit from this episode.

Can you share it with them? I am Robinson Bat chen Grossman from connectedforreal. com. Thank you so much for listening and don’t forget you can be connected for real.