Transcript:

  Welcome to the Connected For Real podcast. I’m Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman, a marriage coach for women in business. And my mission is to bring God’s presence into your life, into your marriage and into your business. Let’s get started.

 Welcome to the connected for real podcast. I’m Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman and today with me is the most awesome person in the world. My husband, this is a really fun episode. If you guys didn’t know, we are in a series where every month there is a different. Focus a different word and we come at it from the four different pillars So we have god marriage business and you and every time We take the four weeks of the month to really address the same exact topic from different angles So now we are starting the topic of routine as you have noticed.

We are in september This is the time where people are like hoping to get back into a routine with their kids and with life There’s also a new year coming. So it usually comes with new routines and trying to change yourself and all that good stuff. So for this episode, I chose my husband to speak about routine and God, because he is really, really good at that.

And definitely my pillar for routine. So first we’re going to start with introductions and then we’ll get right into it. Rabbi Avi Grossman Introduce yourself and tell everyone why you are so awesome. I’m so awesome. I guess kids like me a lot That’s that’s a good thing. My own children like me, you know, I go to my son’s gun I’m the most popular father there.

They all want to give me high fives Yes. Okay. I’m very, I’m very nice with children because I behave like one myself. I don’t know. I try to study and also produce content like books. Right to show that I’m actually studying getting somewhere and I do my own weekly podcast like thing It’s chopped up and put on the internet also by someone else.

Yeah. Yeah, it’s very nice. Yeah, it’s very popular and We have some loyal students which are also nice to have around, you know, and that’s it. Sounds good.

Okay, let’s start talking about in general routine. Why did God create routine? Why do we need routine in order to serve God? All that good stuff. To be honest, I don’t know why God created anything. Okay. Well, I don’t think anybody knows him. Someone tries to tell you he’s probably a charlatan.

Oh, that’s sorry. That’s too fancy a word. He’s probably a fraud, a faker. But it is something that’s commanded in the Torah. One of the most interesting aspect is right at the beginning of creation. We have introduction of the work week, seven day cycle, right? So, it was one thing if, if we could say, metaphysically speaking, God created the world in six days and then rested on the seventh.

But what happens thereafter? Wow, from now on, human beings will have to live in a cycle of weeks, six work days, and a sanctified seventh day of Sabbath, a day of rest. So that’s, that’s the first routine that creation has and that we live in. And most people, if they’re in touch with their Judaism, you know, they’re living toward Shabbos.

So routine is built into the creation. Then we have on the fourth day, God actually creates the luminaries. Why does the sun, the moon, stars exist? I don’t know why God created everything, but I do know that this part of creation actually says why. You know, this is one of the first, only times, doesn’t say why God created man and animals, but does say why he created the sun, the moon, the stars, and that’s what to keep track of time.

And it turns out they’re cyclical in nature. Not only is it the passage of time, it’s the cyclical passage of time. Moons basically define a month, and the way the sun goes across the sky and returns to its, you know, different, you know I guess a different part of the horizon over the course of the seasons, that tells us that a year has passed by.

And also, It so happens that with the sun’s seasons, you know, it’s closer to the south, it’s closer to the north, it rises every day in the east, sets in the west, it also, the weather changes, you know, so God built routine into creation, right, and even if a person’s unaware of the week, he’s not counting toward the Sabbath, he actually just has to look up at the sky, and after a few days, he’ll realize, oh, there’s a routine going on here, and the Jewish people are commanded to keep the commandments, Bye bye.

Thank you very Command to keep commandments. Oh, wow. That was really fancy. And the most basic commandments are cyclical in nature. You know, we have to pray every single day, three times every day. There’s a morning prayer, an afternoon prayer, an evening prayer, sometimes additional prayers, you know, corresponds to what they did in the temple, which was the basic same service every day.

The only difference was on holidays, it was just more of the same service. Sabbath is just double what you do on a weekday. So routine is built into the creation. Apparently. Routine is what keeps a person alive. I’m speaking just for men. God gave men routines because without their routines they’d fall into, perhaps, doing things that are probably not the best use of their time.

Okay. So just because you said about men, we’re talking mostly to women on this podcast. What do you think is, no, it’s good. What do you think is the need for routine in regards to women or how does the fact that they. Are not bound by time commandments, by time, time bound commandments, not bound by time.

Not obligated to keep the certain time bound commandments. Correct. So how does that affect their routine or the way that they serve? Maybe we could still build a routine. It just makes it easier for them. Men are stuck. There’s one way. This is the right way. Men, for example, as has been pointed out, men wear uniforms, okay?

Whether it’s military uniform or otherwise. Men, when they go about their lives, like a form of uniform. And it’s even the case that among many Jews who don’t have an official mandatory uniform because they’re not part of, let’s say, an army, they adopt one anyways. There’s certain men I know, if they have a certain job, let’s say mine, they only wear white shirts, and most of the time they just wear ties.

And they don’t have any variety except for maybe the color of their tie. Even their Yamaka doesn’t have anything. So there’s, you know, they wear uniforms that befits men to do such a thing. It’s about formality. Whereas for a woman, her expression of herself is she wears something different every single day.

And like, you know, Yeah, and it’s really interesting because we just ended an entire month about clothing and style. So that’s really fun. So for men, it doesn’t, that, that’s not works. They’re different creatures altogether. Is an expression from the Talmud saying women are like their own nation. It’s like, there’s the nation of men and the nation of women. Okay, men and women are totally different from each other. I know why it’s good that men like me have routines and we have uniforms, you know, that reflect our stations in life and what we’re trying to broadcast to the world.

But women have a totally different role in life. So they’re, they’re not bound by this because they, you know, it would probably change day to day. Just like a woman wears different colors and different outfits based on her mood, right? So to her. Form of service of God, whereas a man, let’s say is bound by chakras a certain time of day to say same words every single day.

For a woman, it’s more from the heart, you know, it’s I guess it’s open to, I wouldn’t even say artistic interpretation, but emotional interpretation. A woman is therefore more at liberty to find ways that she serves God, and perhaps even, yes, she should have some sort of routine. But a lot less legislated.

She creates her routine and her routine might very well be radically different from that of her friend next door. Whereas two men, they probably have a routine that overlaps majorly. Especially if they attend synagogue every single day, they’ll meet up at the synagogue and if they will go to the same synagogue, they’re, you know, it’s the same, same synagogue service going on everywhere else.

You could probably, you know, even though we say, well, ah, this one’s different, you know, they’re, they’re Spartan or something like that. To be honest. Here in Kochav Yaakov, how many Sephardim are at the Ashkenazim, Sephardic mini in the morning? Yeah, they mismatch. Yeah, it’s all the same, you know? But for women, you know, it’s like, I prayed this place, I went over there and I prayed.

I have my own special place of prayer, just like Abraham had his own place of prayer. So you’re saying there’s a lot more freedom within Routine for women to find the routine that works with yeah And is even routine a woman builds her own routine and then she could tomorrow, you know change it You know, that’s the thing even if she has a routine.

It’s not mandatory. Yeah, it’s not it’s not mandated by some sort of religious code Guys, this works really well with what we’ve been talking about which is like, you know, the seasons of life Something works really well when you have young kids, but then when they grow up you have to rethink everything.

Oh, man Or just the cyclical nature of our business, where sometimes we have certain things and certain needs and sometimes we don’t so it’s really interesting that this is very much built into the separation between men and women. Cool. Okay, cool. Yeah. Where else do we see routine? Let’s talk about marriage.

Well, don’t say it. Routine has two meanings in English. One is that which you do every single day. You know, it’s your They say Seder HaYom, the order of the day. Okay. Which, by the way, even part of the prayers, it’s like the final section, the additional section of the morning prayer for men is called Seder HaYom.

Okay. Meaning the daily routine. But sometimes routine, let’s say you use it as an adjective, you use It becomes too regular. We use a modern Hebrew word starting with the Sages, burgal, okay? It means it’s become too regular. It’s almost autopilot. You know, you have to watch out for that. If a person develops a Seder, his daily order, but it is too routine, such that it’s lacking all feeling, Their originality, or if there’s something new to it, you know, that’s bad.

That’s you know, they say, don’t, don’t pray on autopilot. What is that? Well, it’s the same, you’re using the same prayer book every day. So instead of saying it from the heart with sincerity, you might come and you might fall into the trap that’s now just by rote. That is bad. Rote and routine, related words.

So, routine could, like I said, magic devil form, could be pretty bad. And you have to get out of it. If it’s just a routine, then you have a major problem. If it’s just, you know, going through the motions, bow down, strap on those to fill in every day, do the same thing, that could be stagnation.

Stagnation. Okay, so watch out, you know, don’t don’t get too much into routine The routine is what God recommends you do but you have to supply the feeling the emotion, you know what they call kavana Yeah, so now we’re getting into something really interesting the routine That we’re going for Is, you know, I just want to know what to expect.

I want to know that I’m getting into a rhythm into systems that work for me and in which I can thrive. But then there is a The negative part of that, which is if you get into something that’s so autopilot, you lose yourself. How do we make sure that we don’t get to that extreme? That we don’t lose the reason why we put those routines in place to begin with.

Okay. So, first of all, sometimes you need a routine. In order to live your life, you need a routine for, let’s say, people like us. A routine is necessary. You have to know what time you’re waking up in the morning. Because the kid’s got to get to school in time, right? Okay. And things got to get done. You have to, you have to be somewhere, you know, at 9am in the morning or sometimes significantly earlier, right?

Yeah. You have to do your commute. So certain parts of your routine are innocuous, but also necessary. Okay. So, and that could lead to, like I said, the stagnation. When it comes to the service of God, how do you prevent something from being routine? Oh boy, that is the million dollar question.

I know that there are some men, pious men, who make sure to wake up extra early in the morning, okay, when it’s, you know, the world is still still, you know, like the last part of the night, every single day, so that they have time to concentrate, to meditate on these aspects. So, so the sages said that it used to be the, the pious men of old, they used to spend an hour in meditation before davening in the morning, that is before praying in the morning, an hour.

So, wow. So you have, you have time to think of something, saying the Psalms and even then, well, how many Psalms are there? There’s only about 150 of them or so, right? Yeah. Yeah. So you have to, even that can become routine. If you’ve been through the book of Psalms, you know it so well. So you have to, wow, you got to come up with something else.

Yeah, I think that’s, if I were an expert at this, knowing how to break the routine of service of God, then you know, I’d be a lot farther in life. But I, I really don’t know. For a lot of times also, for a lot of men, you wake up in the morning, and even if you have a decent time to daven. That’s to pray.

It might be that that’s your routine. It’s using the same prayer book. You still have 20 minutes. Even then you don’t, you don’t manage to get to somewhere new. Yeah. So one of the things that I did starting about, I remember first did this maybe 27 years ago was just mix and match the prayer book. I mean, you can, there’s so many different slight, well, slightly different formulas.

I’ll get back to the Ashkenazic Sephardic thing. There’s a lot more than that. So you probably see my collection of Sudurim. You probably know that I have my tefillin. I used to use a very specific Hasidic Siddur. And even that, you know, I’ve been, I’ve been through the Ashkenazic Seferhad, which is the Hasidic Siddur, the Nusach Yisrael Siddur.

Sometimes you need to say new, at least mix and match your prayer book. And even then, there’s only so much. You’re saying change, change the words so that they force you to think. Yeah. So you have to, you’re not, you’re not on autopilot and take some time also before prayers to say Psalms that you’re not used to.

Everybody knows the usual Psalms in that, that make up the beginning of the morning service. That starts with the 145th Psalm, if I’m not mistaken, going on from there. Perhaps you should, you know, mix it up a little bit. I definitely think that they should do this thing, I do, with regards to the extra supplications after the main silent devotion part of the prayer, which is called the Shemon Esri for those who were in it.

So there’s, there’s a time for what’s called Tahnu and supplications. So normally in the Seder, it’s just one psalm there, one specific psalm for Ashkenazic Siddurim has psalm six and Spartic ones, it’s like psalm 42 or something like that, or 43, I might be mistaken. Either way, I go through all the psalms that aren’t specifically the psalms of Thanksgiving.

If you could break up the psalm book, you know that a lot of those psalms are different forms of supplication. So I make sure to go through like today, I said, psalms one through five. Okay. That’s how often I don’t get to that. Maybe once every two months, I get to that. So that certainly breaks up the routine.

And you know, you could find other things, but this is great. This is highly technical. Okay. So what you’re saying is change things up and try to stay intentional. And we talk a lot about being intentional in our work here for women. A lot of the things we do are on autopilot because there’s a lot of repetitive things and there’s you know, a lot of things that.

We hope we keep reiterating things and we repeat things. We say it over and over again. Right. Exactly. I’m too repetitive and then you’re predative and you’re repetitive over and over again. It gets tiring and then we get really sick of it and then we don’t know what to do. And so bringing in a little bit of intentionality is always the best way to do it.

And we have a lot of different tricks that we use in order to stay on top of it and not let it pull us down. Let’s talk about marriage a little bit or, you know, routine and marriage, but we just met. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. We’re actually celebrating 18 years soon. 19. I want your take on routine and marriage. And when you think of routine and marriage, what comes up for you and, and is it good or bad for the marriage to have routines?

I don’t know. Don’t take your spouse for granted. That’s for sure. Don’t expect the Roche Cole tells us don’t come home saying, you know, where’s the food? Where’s this and that? Why isn’t this done? No expecting. Just be appreciative of what you get every single day. If you demand too much from your spouse, they’ll start keeping them to a higher higher standards than they could stand up for, you know.

Let’s say, just take our situation. Stuck with kids, you know, you can’t expect that someone’s stuck a few hours with the children. That they did anything beyond than just making the house, you know, rubble. If the house is still standing and there’s not, you know, god awful stuff on the floor, so you should be happy, you know.

Too many, too many men walk in, they want, you know, they want all their laundry done, their shirts ironed, and they want a sandwich. Look, I’m sure some men actually get that, but everybody comes in with that expectation. It’s not, it’s not going to help you, you know actual routine. Who knows? How about this?

Strive as a man to have a routine that you make sure you always give your wife compliments, right? And do the flowers. I used to say, I haven’t seen flowers around, but flowers are an obligation every Friday, right? Before the Sabbath. Sure. Sounds like a plan. The exact amount or how much you, you shell out for those flowers.

Doesn’t really matter as long as it’s something, but a man has to have a routine and how he honors and respects And you know, all that other stuff for his wife, but he should expect nothing in return. Okay. And that, that could be, I’m sure Bali must’ve would say, that’s a good thing. And also women should know the biggest, the best thing you could tell any woman and just to get her to understand this is just do what your husband asked for.

There are a lot of women out there who would say, I want to do something for my husband. He expects so much of this and that they go out overboard when maybe it’s just the husband’s asking for, you know, a nice beer and a chocolate chip cookie. You know, that’s very simple things. Men, men just want simple things.

I think I heard some women say there’s three things a man does just to make sure these three things. And you know, it’s very easy because men are, we’re pretty simple creatures. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. So it’s true. Okay. You’re cracking me up. Okay. Yeah. I don’t know. Okay. I don’t know.

But whatever God, God gives us routines in life. The most important thing, raising a family. means that God is already dictating your routine. And the fact that you have to get ready for the Sabbath every night, you have to get the kids ready for sleep. You already have God given routine, right? You know, the trick is just don’t, don’t let it get to your head.

And you know, just try to be nice. I’m one of my own. I’m an expert at this thing. I don’t know. I don’t know. You seem to be doing well. You know, my own, people think my own expertise. I don’t even know if I have an expertise. The thing that people tell me of an expertise is usually just stuff like finding something in a book and pointing that out.

They’re like, we’re combining two things in a book. Like, what’s the answer? Well, there’s two things in a book here. The resolution is this. But these really complicated real life questions that God knows. No, sure he is. He said, these aren’t the things you can find in a book or you can’t, You can’t do a few, you know, math problems, calculation on paper and find an actual answer.

Right. These are more like EQ stuff. Yeah, instead of IQ. Okay, fine. Next. Yeah, cool. A question came in that wants your attention. I mentioned last week in my episode that I am planning on going to the Temple Mount. I actually ended up going and you came with me, which was really nice. And a couple of questions came in. So how are you allowed to go up to the Temple Mount? And, you know, what exactly do you need to do in order to go there? You know, isn’t it not allowed or forbidden? And I wanted to just address that as a side point because I think it’s important for people to hear.

  Hey, before we continue the episode, I want to ask you something. Are you ready to get answers from God directly? Feel more in love with your husband and more supported than ever? Run the business of your dreams without having to sacrifice any other part of your life? That is exactly what my one on one private coaching is for and I want to invite you, just you and me, For a free deep dive discovery call.

This is a 60 minute free call where I ask you lots of questions And we extract the three main things that are holding you back I then put together a personalized plan for you where I create a roadmap of recommendations With practical steps the call is free and so valuable in itself. So go book yours today Now back to the show

 Let’s get controversial. The Kuzari, among others, brings an interesting argument for the veracity of our Torah tradition. And he says that all the Jewish people attest to the truthfulness of the revelation at Sinai. Okay. You couldn’t convince a nation of millions that here you all were at Sinai. You all heard God’s voice.

You all received the Torah at once. If it didn’t actually happen, you couldn’t convince everybody that it didn’t. Then they say, yeah, this tradition would be a prank. Okay. However, my faith in that particular argument, I totally believe in God and in the revelation at Sinai, but that particular formulation argument may be I question it because I have seen in our day and age the Jewish people convinced of a non truth.

Millions of Jews believe in non truth that was recently created, and that is that it is forbidden, objectively forbidden to go to the Temple Mount, and that Jews have always, let’s say, prayed at the Kotel. Nothing could be further from the truth. The Western Wall. The Western Wall, the Wailing Wall, as they may have called it. What was is attested to in history that At a certain point during the Ottoman stewardship, if I could call it that, that’s a nice way of saying it, the occupation of Eretz Israel, the land of Israel, which was classically called Palestine since Roman times. Jews, by the way, always called it Palestine.

That’s like, that was the foreign word, the non Hebrew term used for land of Israel. in non Jewish languages. So the, the Jews always used to go until they were forbidden from doing so. And they used to go to Temple Mount as much as they could. You know, there was, there was limited and of course, you know, various authorities in different ages didn’t want Jews rebuilding the Temple as an act of rebellion.

There’s conquerors and empires and, you know, the history, of the land being fought over. I say like Yaakov Kirshen’s example, like a bone being fought over by a bunch of dogs. You know, the whole Crusades, what was the point of all those, you know, centuries of conflict of the Crusades?

European Christians tried to take away the land of Israel from, you know, foreigners, Muslims, infidels, as it may be. So, the Ottomans had a system of keeping the Jews away from the Temple Mount, officially, and they’re the ones with their waqf, that is, the Muslim Trust, created a very small, limited Jewish prayer area near the Western Wall.

Right. And that is what people in, let’s say, by the 1800s, late 1800s, were familiar with, that the Jews cannot go on the Temple Mount, and they have a place to pray near the Temple Mount, and that’s it. And when the mandatory period came about. That was the British Mandate of Palestine, between World War I and World War II

this basically was reaffirmed by the newly formed Chief Rabbinate of the Jewish Community of Mandatory Palestine, as Ralph Cook himself eventually wrote, as a matter of political expedience. That is, they declared, it was like by fiat, the Jewish people should not be going on the Temple Mount, you know, for quasi religious reasons, that was what they officially said, but really it was for political reasons.

And Perhaps, let’s say as a temporary measure, it had its utility, but after the founding of the state, when the Temple Mount and anything in near the old Jerusalem was out of Jewish hands, it was basically irrelevant. And after the six day war, which was in 1967, June, 1967, when it suddenly became through miraculous, you know, reckless Providence, that the Old City of Jerusalem fell back into Jewish hands and once again became permissible or possible and great rabbis who are aware of this fact, tried to go to the Temple Mount and advocated for it.

I don’t think the Jewish people were ready at the time. Really, they should have been rebuilding the temple because there’s a commandment to do so. But the old ways that which had become ingrained. The problem with Jews is that we have certain stubbornness to us. That’s almost like a genetic thing. Came, not went to the Temple Mount.

Is now saying that’s a religious imperative. It must be forbidden. Our good friend. Dr. England says That, that’s an unfortunate Jewish tendency, almost a routine, if you will, that once we’re used to doing something, let’s say staying in the diaspora, we then concoct Talmudic sounding justifications for such thing.

And almost we create so much of a justification to explain it, that we almost declare that it must be that way, whatever it is must be that way. So the Jewish people haven’t broken out of this. This by the way, existed. On a very similar level for the idea of Jews moving back to the land of Israel and settling the land of Israel and even having an autonomous state in the land of Israel.

It didn’t exist for so long that when that push began to, I don’t know, that push began among Jewish people to resettle the land of Israel and immigrate to Israel in, you know, in large numbers and even found the state, there was extreme religious opposition. He didn’t believe that. Nowadays such a thing doesn’t exist.

We all forgot about it. It may exist in some places. They still say we shouldn’t have done this. But no serious Jewish community believes such a thing. Now we’re used to this. We’ve gotten over that hump. So too, Am Yisrael has to get over this, prank, basically, that they’ve been told that this is forbidden.

It’s nothing farther from the truth. The Jewish people are actually commanded every single day. If they don’t have a temple to build a temple, if it exists to upkeep the temple, that’s one commandment. And there’s many other commandments. We say, what’s the, what’s the most routine commandment in the Torah from which we learn daily prayers?

You have to offer sacrifice in the temple every morning and every evening. And by evening, I mean late afternoon, and that the order of those two services is exactly the same every single day. You know, the priest has to offer the lamb and burn it and set up the fire, like the menorah offer the incense.

It’s the same every morning and every afternoon. Every morning is the same as the afternoon, slightly different between morning and afternoon because it’s one’s morning, one’s afternoon, but it’s the same service twice every single day. Every single day of the week, every single day of the year, right?

The repetitive, repetitive. So that God, God’s routine demands us to be on the Temple Mount. We’ve forgotten this. We think we say that we shouldn’t be there. So if someone’s telling you it’s forbidden, it just means that he’s stuck. If he’s supposed to be a knowledgeable person, let’s say someone who, or at least someone who’s, who should aspire for knowledge, someone who’s supposed to be spending their time studying Torah, it means that they’re being prevented from studying certain aspects of Torah.

When I was in Kutzlarz, that means when I was abroad, outside the land of Israel, I knew that many Jews were deprived of certain aspects of the Torah. Right. It’s true, but it wasn’t, there was some acting there, just that’s not part of their routine, that’s not what they did. But then they came to Eretz Israel, the land of Israel, and something even crazier happened.

So that there were people who might’ve been aware that, yes, studying certain aspects, certain sections, you know the Torah, you know, the five books of Moses, studying certain parts of that with the commentaries and let’s say Maimonides, what he wrote will bring you to, the obvious and necessary conclusion.

So, they’re actively preventing people from studying these things, lest they come to realize that the status quo, especially with regards to the Temple Mount, is not what God wants. Can you believe that? You exist here. I think there’s people conspiring here to make sure that people not learn these things lest they come to actually say, Hey, maybe we should be doing things differently.

Well, because they were taught that it’s not allowed. So if you, if you believe something is forbidden, then you, you have responsibility to make sure everybody knows and keeps away from. So how do we deal with this? Almost, I would say new phenomenon. Cause for me, it’s pretty new. I mean, I’ve been going up for Let’s say seven years.

So what’s new? What’s new to you? I’m saying it’s new in that it’s this generation versus the previous generation I mean going to the temple mound is new. Yeah, I know my parents My father especially says we don’t do that. It’s not what we do. Yeah, that’s just what are you gonna do? and it took me a long time to get over that because it’s hard to go against what you were taught and and it’s really For Jewish people, it is important that we know that we should know what we do.

We do this. This is what we do as Jews. But we are also bidden every single day to study the Torah and study it Talmudically. It means question, ask for proofs to a position. You know, come to conclusions. Everybody has to do that, including women with regards to that, which they’re involved. You know, they’re certainly not as obligated as men to study every aspect of the Torah.

As a matter of fact, and we might even be forbidden to teach them certain aspects, but that which is irrelevant to them and obligates them, that which they run, you know, kashfers in the kitchen, a woman has to know. So the problem is that this characteristic of ours is being used to our disadvantage.

Yeah, this is what we don’t do. But you have to ask the question, is it right that we don’t do this? Imagine you keep a Jew locked up in prison for long enough. You know, if you kept them in Europe for long enough, they say this, maybe we’re supposed to stay here. Like I said, it will come with reasons. You have to break them out.

You have to, one of the ways you can break them out is stick to the Torah study, show them the sources. If someone’s objective about Torah study, then eventually you’ll have to come across the clear, Passages, the numerous passages that demanded him, for example, to live in the land of Israel and cultivate the land of Israel.

And of course, participate in temple related matters, which are impossible without going to the temple mount. So we’ll say, yeah, but the temple isn’t there. Yes, we have an obligation to build it to this. These are concrete steps towards the re institution of the temple service and the rebuilding of the temple.

That’s what the goal is. We’re working toward this people say, but there’s no temple. How do you expect it to show up? You know, it’s it’s not this isn’t no, we don’t live in fairytale land We have to actually work toward these goals and that’s what we’re trying to do So if you pray here as a Jew you pray for the restoration of the temple And also you say the same Shemon Esri three times a day This Shemon Esri concludes with a number of prayers for the restoration of the temple and the temple service Then you’ll realize, oh, I have to be part of this.

But people actually have to think about that. You have to show it to everybody. I think that’s now, that’s the challenge I think is of today. For the Jewish people on the whole to show them that, these are facts and that’s what they want. It’s amazing. You’d think it’s saying so simple, so obvious would be obvious, but it’s not.

Okay. So for someone listening and thinking it’s intriguing, maybe I should try it out. What do they need to know before they go up? Because it is, you know, the holiest place in the world. Okay. And there are certain rituals. That you have to perform. So we certainly don’t have time to say, what do you need to know?

You have to ritually purify yourself before you go. Okay. So there are things to know. The most basic form ritual purification is immersion in the ritual bath. Okay? And , they say ish. So if you want, we have other resources that tell you how to prepare for doing so, right? But by the way, immersion in the ritual bath.

Ritual purification used to be a part of daily life. for Jewish people. So these laws weren’t kept for a while, but, you know, they do exist, and they’re, they are legislated, and there are, there are those who study them in depth. There are basic Talmudic and halakhic texts that describe this, and fortunately, many women, especially the married ones, are familiar with preparing themselves for ritual immersion in the ritual bed.

It’s the same, the same mikveh they go to for their own personal reasons. is the one they should go to to prepare for ascending the Temple Mount. And men also have ritual deaths that they could go to. It’s certainly easier for a man to get ready for Mi’kvah. Right. So that’s what they’re supposed to do.

So learn how to do it and and go do it. And like I said, there’s much more details, but remember you’re going to God’s house. So there’s specific rules. You can’t even wear your shoes. You’re not supposed to carry your walking stick. I saw a guy go to the Temple Mount wearing his shoes and carrying his walking stick.

I went to one of the regulars and said, maybe, maybe you should tell him, it’s like, specifically, he’s not supposed to, oh yeah, but he’s, he’s got a boo boo, he’s got an ouchie of some sort, he hurt his foot, so he needs to wear these special shoes, and he has to, you know, have a cane. Like, so he’s exempt. The Torah didn’t say like, oh yeah, but if, if you, you know, you’re uncomfortable, so you can break the rules.

There’s rules you should know. It’s the most, Governed place on earth where the rules certainly apply. That’s what makes it holy. The definition of the holiness of the temple bound is that more rules apply to it than other places. So, but here’s the point though. A lot of people say, so because we don’t know the rules or we haven’t been taught the rules, or you’re bound to get people going up there that aren’t keeping the rules, then we should just make it forbidden for everyone so that nobody has to break the rules.

That’s silly. Yeah. Did we do that with any other aspect of life? I don’t know. We tell people. No, of course not. We have Koshvers. Koshvers is complicated. You know, if you slaughter the cow the wrong way, or even after you slaughter it properly, you don’t properly remove the blood and the forbidden fat, so you have extreme Torah prohibitions.

On the same level, by the way, as those entering, involving, entering areas of the Temple Mount that you’re not supposed to. By the way, Temple Mount is huge. There are areas you’re not supposed to go to. Those usually involve going up steps and going through barriers. Things that they won’t let you go to anyway, so you’re probably not going to do it.

To say that, oh, this could involve severe Torah prohibitions, doesn’t mean you should just say, okay, don’t do it. Otherwise, by the way, we wouldn’t allow marriage, by the way. Right. If you, if you were involved in any sort of physical relationship with a member of the opposite sex, or, you know, you’re intending to do so, just to know you’re flirting with severe Torah prohibitions.

But if you do it right, so you’re fulfilling a commandment. And by the way, also consumption of food. Consumption of food involves You know, trying to avoid the severe prohibitions. We don’t tell people, you know what, just eat broccoli every single day. Even broccoli is a problem. , okay, I don’t know. Eat cucumbers.

The ones that cucumbers and tomatoes and, and is that it? The only things that don’t have bugs, I don’t know. You, we don’t, we don’t do that. We don’t tell people they have to be vegetarians. We don’t tell people they have to be celibate. We, we say. There’s a challenge and we will learn to do the challenge, you know, we could we learn to beat this challenge And we are like the says appear.

It was low. I’m a colleague more you know, it’s not upon you to finish the job. You can’t get learn everything Well, it’s i’ve been really able to tell you manna, but you’re also not free to just say, you know I can’t do it gotta keep trying and these rules are quite simple.

They’re made available for you know, layman, okay All right. God wanted every single layman to You Make the pilgrimage to his temple at least three times a year. So this is science that’s doable This isn’t impossible since you’re not used to it trust me if you’re as you should expect of your husband if he’s the type of man who is yeshiva trained or Even he’s just a or less.

Okay, but he does respect torah scholars and he’s good enough to Learn a little bit to run a shabbos. He should be able to learn how to attend the temple mount according to the halach Yeah, and you know, some of my clients have gone up with me and we’ve made it into a fun outing. So if you’re interested just get in touch and we can, we can get it, get it going.

It’s really a very special experience. Think, you know, from all the different things that we learn as part of this podcast and also working with me, becoming intentional, becoming grounded, connecting. Strengthening your relationship with God and the people around you. This is probably the best way to do it is really just physically being in that location Is really special.

Yeah, you just gotta get there, you know, yeah, come get it. Okay, cool I invite you guys to get in touch with me Also, if you are interested in working together, I do have a three month private coaching package It’s called balance for God’s sake. And it’s really awesome. Tell him, tell him to work with me.

Okay. I don’t know what that particular package is about because you have a few things that you say, a fly into this and a few acronyms, but I do know this. What I could attest to you’ve helped a lot of people. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. And you’re very good at it. That’s why people are seeking you out. It’s just like, yeah, we’ll hire you to be like the graphic designer so that we can really just keep you as our actual TR and HR more importantly.

You know, human resources, but also human relationships. That’s what should be advisor. Yeah. You helped a lot of people, you know, you found what you’re good at. The trick is to find what you’re good at and, and stick to it. So if you, yeah, I would say if you have problems, but whatever, even if you don’t have, even if you don’t have a particular issue, this is your, this is the address, that’s where I go to, to, , you could need good advice, need someone to walk you through the right thing.

Right. Whatever, all those other women are getting out of it also. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It’s really great. They’re getting a lot of balance out of it. I know people are jealous. You know, they’re, like I said, people, people come by, you know, for excuses. I want to like do something with you so that I could get free advice, you know, you know that, that’s how it goes.

Like, I want to just talk. Oh, good. Come for, come for a barbecue. That way you get to talk to you for two hours. Yeah. You know, look, there, there’s a reason people do that. Yeah. They don’t do it to me. Yeah, they do. Yeah. Yeah. You have guys coming here all the time. The same thing, you know, if you’re, if you’re a 19 year old Yeshiva guy and you’re trying to understand why the Rambam wrote this and the Rite wrote that and, you know, what’s the relationship between the B’avim so they come to me hoping that maybe I’ll have an answer, but they don’t come with like these, you know, the type of stuff that you help people with.

Yeah. Yeah, it’s very, it’s very important. So what, what do I help people with? I know, I know it’s like women’s things. Women have their issues and you talk it out with them, but even some men have girly issues, right? Girly issues. I think it’s like I don’t work with men. I know I’m just saying even men have those types of things.

I wish I could understand it. They’re called emotions. So that, that, that’s that feeling. Okay. Now we get to say, okay. So happiness. Okay. And I’ve understood that. Yeah. As far as I could see for many men, it’s usually a technical problem. They want to say, how do I go about doing this in my job?

But for women, it’s an emotional issue. They have to talk out what they’re doing. And you’re very good for doing that. I’ll tell you something I discovered about my wife. You know, they say true beauty lies within. So most men are blind to that. Men look at outward beauty. They see like, you know, they, especially when they look at women, it’s like, oh, they, that’s why men shouldn’t be looking at women so much.

They’re saying it’s attractive or not. That’s what a man thinks. But a woman that doesn’t look at men necessarily that way. And a woman doesn’t look at women necessarily that way. You don’t see the physical beauty. You’re entirely Already beyond that, you actually know how to see people’s inner beauty.

And that’s all you see. You actually see people’s personality. Like you can understand people’s emotions and personalities as though you’re actually seeing it in front of your face. You know, you’re almost blind to people’s physical imperfections because that doesn’t even exist. You’re already x raying them.

You’re seeing their, their mind, which is something I can’t do saying, I don’t know anybody else can do, but you can do it. So, you know, that’s the more power. So that’s why you’re so good at what you’re doing. You know, thank you. Yeah. So yeah, that’s pretty accurate. I never thought about it that way. Yeah.

It’s just that I heard there was one guy who’s a well known. Professional psychiatrist. He told me that certain musicians like the most gifted musicians like to take a Mozart, for example, was just gifted in music. He was a real pervert and really not the type of role model, but people like him could see music as colors.

You know, so you see emotions and personality traits and the way people are behaving, you actually like see it in a way that most of us can’t even perceive it. And let’s say a guy like me who can barely perceive other people’s emotions. You know like that that for me that to me that’s a superpower, you know, as you say, that’s it must be a superpower It is a super I’m, very grateful.

Yeah. Okay. Here’s the fun last question. What is that? That’s what you’re paying me for, right? Yeah, exactly What does the calm method stand for?

I knew this once upon a time kong. I I don’t know. Give me give me the first thing. I maybe I could start with you. Give me the scene next No, I still don’t know it. Connect connect to yourself, connect yourself. What else? I don’t know. You, I don’t know. Always laugh more connect. Always laugh more. So it spells it out.

I don’t know. Connect to yourself. Ask for abundance. I’ll be loves meatballs. I don’t know. I’ll be loves meatballs. That’s true too. I don’t know. Connect yourself. Abundance. Okay. Love. Ask. Okay. Connect to yourself is step one. Oh, it’s a verb. So you see, ask. Ask for abundance is step two. Okay. Listen for the answer.

Okay. Listen to the, okay, fine. And step three. And move on with your life. What? No, it’s the exact opposite of move on with your life. It’s master a higher level of consciousness, which is pause and celebrate what just happened before you move on with your life. Okay, fine. What does Yalka Gum stand for? I have no idea.

It’s not a method I created. Lo Adu Rosh. You know what that stands for, Adu? Yes, I do know. Really? Oh, I told you that? I, I grew up on that before I knew you. Fine. Before you were born. Okay, fine. So I don’t know, I don’t know what calm stands for. I’m sorry. It’s okay. I think everybody will find that very comical.

Really? Yeah. Like comical or comical? I don’t know. I don’t speak English. This is how we actually behave at home. Yeah. Set them a lot more impatient with the cameras off. Oh boy. Oh, thank you so much for being here on our podcast. Thank you for being my own house. Yeah. Okay. Well, for being my podcast, thank you so much for putting on a tie for the camera.

Okay. If you guys have any questions let us know and maybe one day we’ll do this again Wait, we have to do it again. No, I don’t know. Maybe maybe next year. Okay, fine We’ll give him some time to cool off. Okay. Wow. Thank you so much for being with us for this episode of the connected for real podcast.

Make sure that you go and subscribe. Tell all your friends, this is an awesome podcast. Usually I have a guest every single week and sometimes I sprinkle in some solo episodes. So look out for those. They’re really great too. I look forward to seeing you next week and don’t forget to be connected for real.

I won’t be here next week. No, you won’t be here next week. Thanks so much for being here this week.

 And that’s it! Thank you for listening to the very end. I would love if you can leave a review and subscribe to the podcast. Those are things that tell the algorithm this is a good podcast and make sure to suggest it to others. Wouldn’t it be amazing if more people became more connected for real? And now take a moment and think of someone who might benefit from this episode.

Can you share it with them? I am Robinson Bat chen Grossman from connectedforreal. com. Thank you so much for listening and don’t forget you can be connected for real.