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In This Episode
Chana Mason gives a sneak peak of the Dream, Design, Manifest E-Course through impactful tools to transform your life and marriage. The course led by Chana and her husband, Dave, is based on their book, The Size of Your Dreams, which follows different characters’ journeys that help you learn ways to set and achieve your goals while elevating your self-identity. Everything they teach in the book and the course can be used to improve your marriage.
Highlights
00:51 Chana Mason is a vitality coach, and co-author of the book The Size of Your Dreams.
01:25 Vitality is our natural state but we can miss out on that because of our thoughts and actions, but Chana helps people grow their vitality.
02:31 Chana Mason and her husband, Dave, created a neurolinguistic programming-based program called Dream, Design, Manifest, which was inspired by their book The Size of Your Dreams. The course helps people clarify and manifest a vision for their life.
04:27 There are three factors that get us into our Peak State. Chana learned this technique from Tony Robbins. Try this exercise!
05:22 One of the concepts that Chana discusses in the course is the Peak State, which is affected by physiology, what we choose to focus on, and language.
08:22 People who have the habit of being in a down state don’t pay attention to the small, beautiful things in their lives, but make those that are frustrating really big.
08:41 Rebbetzin Bat-Chen shares that the Recipe for Happiness is grateful and overcoming.
09:14 How to speak and the language you choose to talk about something negative has an affect on how you overcome problems.
12:08 Clarifying your dreams is so important, and it can be visualized through note cards that are discussed in the book The Size of Your Dreams.
12:58 The first notecard is the outcome card, where you write a goal at the top and the steps you need to achieve that goal. Chana shares follow-up questions that help you align what you want with who you are as a human being.
18:03 Some people can feel stuck in their situations, such as in the example of a married woman who feels like it is impossible to be happy in her marriage.
28:27 The Masons recommend that anyone who joins their course should join with a buddy so that they have somebody to be held accountable to.
35:02 People can have multiple cards but Chana shares that it depends on the person on how they will handle their stack.
36:37 The Facebook Group run by Chana is very supportive, and you can have your cards checked by her and other members of the group.
37:18 You’re not alone on your journey. You can learn from others, and others can learn from you by sharing your cards with the collective.
38:33 Chana and Dave’s son helped write the ending of their book, The Cash Machine, during a hiking trip in Ecuador.
43:59 The E-course by Chana and Dave Mason is affordable! Chana recommends that you read their book, The Size of Your Dreams, before it starts.
44:46 There is homework in the course, but it will help you manifest the goals you set for yourself.
47:21 The website for Dream, Design, Manifest has all the information you need to learn about the course.
Links
Dream, Design, Manifest E-Course – Sign up for the waitlist!
Free E-book: The Size of Your Dreams
5 Surprising Ways to Improve Your Marriage
Marriage Breakthrough Retreat – Sign up for the waitlist!
Videos Mentioned
The Recipe for Happiness
Mindset Shift About Coronavirus Pandemic
Books Mentioned
The Size of Your Dreams by Dave and Chana Mason
Hold That Thought by Chana Mason
The Cash Machine by Dave and Chana Mason
Do Less by Kate Northrup
Let’s Connect!
Connected for Real is on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn
For more information about Connected for Real, visit the website!
Subscribe to the Podcast
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REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
Welcome to the Connected For Real Podcast! I’m Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman, a marriage coach for women in business, and my mission is to bring God’s presence into your life, into your marriage, and into your business. Let’s get started. The following is one of the many conversations I had with experts and professionals about real life and how it affects marriage. Let me know your takeaways on Instagram or Facebook, @connectedforreal. Enjoy. And we’re live with Chana Mason. Welcome.
CHANA MASON
It’s a pleasure to be here.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
Awesome. I am super excited. Well tell us what you do, who you are, and why everybody needs to know you.
CHANA MASON
[Laughs] My name is Chana Mason. I’m a vitality coach and I love helping people increase their physical, emotional, and mental vitality through learning tools that they can apply to their life on a daily basis–be they lifestyle tools, mental tools, or mindset tools–I just get really jacked up about it.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
That is awesome. Can you tell people who don’t know what vitality means because that’s a big word I feel it’s important to hear it down.
CHANA MASON
Okay, how do I put all of the things that I do into one word, and vitality is really how alive you feel, how much vital force is in you. So, when you’re walking down the street and yet it’s all concrete, yet there’s this tiny little crack in the concrete and you see some funky grass growing there, that is the vital energy. You can use heebie-jeebie language that but it’s just everything is just dying to grow, thrive, and reach towards the Sun, reach towards light, reach or something greater–that’s our natural state but sometimes, either because we engage in behaviors that dampen us or because we have mental processes that hold us back, we miss out on experiencing that life force that’s constantly running through us at all times. So that’s what I love to help people do.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
I love that. Yeah, I just think of it as the most alive. That’s what thinking. Okay, cool. So come on try it on me. I’m all excited.
CHANA MASON
I know that you and I are really excited about this course that’s coming up. A tool that I get particularly excited about that comes from neurolinguistic programming that we’ve included in the course. The course is called Dream, Design, Manifest and it’s based on our book The Size of Your Dreams. In the course we help people clarify a vision for their life and manifest it. Along the way, one of the things we’ve learned is that people struggle to have the courage almost to actually dream, and then it’s scary for people to go after their dreams because the fear of disappointment is so massive for so many of us that we’d rather do nothing than be disappointed if we try and things don’t work out. For me, and this was something that my husband had less of a hard time understanding but I know it in such a deep way–this fear is something I know in a really deep way. The fear of disappointment is definitely my biggest block, and so I wanted to make sure that we included in the course–resources that we could hand to people that they could use to infuse themselves with more light and more courage. One of those tools is learning about what gets ourselves into a Peak State. I’m gonna give you an example that we learned from Tony Robbins. I want you to throw your hands up in the air and really stretch them as high as you can. Get your posture really high, put a smile, and start talking about something that normally makes you sad.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
What makes me sad—
CHANA MASON
Or frustrated, or angry.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
Now I have to think first. [Laughs] You’re talking to a very happy person here.
CHANA MASON
Something that annoyed you last week.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
I’m really frustrated that my daughter doesn’t have a high school yet. Can you see the smile?
CHANA MASON
So one of the things that I noticed was that you kept having your arms wanted to go down and then you’re like, “Oh yeah, I need to keep them up so you thrust them back up again.” Do you know what I’m talking about? You’ll notice that when your hands are up in the air, it’s really easy to smile. It’s really difficult not to smile. Throw your hands up in the air and try to frown.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
It’s uplifting once again.
CHANA MASON
So one of the things about being a human being is there are certain things that are wired into just part of what it is to be human in the same way that there are laws that are wired into nature. If I have an apple and I let go of it, it’s gonna drop there. It doesn’t matter whether I believe in gravity or not. Gravity is gonna do its thing. It couldn’t care less about my feelings, what I’m thinking, or whatever. It’s gonna do its thing.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
So this is like a pencil and a smile. You’re physically smiling. It boosts your smile your happiness.
CHANA MASON
Yes, oh my goodness. So when we’re holding certain physiological postures, we can’t help but experience what Tony Robbins calls a Peak State. There are two other things that help us get into our Peak State, or that define our state in general. So one is how we hold our physiology. Another is what we choose to focus on, and the third is language. So if you’re thinking about your daughter’s high school and you’re trying to figure out a high school solution for here, and there you are. You’re looking for a high school solution for her, and you’re holding a down physiology and what are you focusing on?
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
The fact that she doesn’t know what to decide.
CHANA MASON
Okay, and what else do you have to focus on in order to feel down?
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
Oh, down? I did a lot of work on this. I was really upset with the system. Not anymore.
CHANA MASON
So, you’re focusing on all the things in the system that aren’t going your way.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
Right. The whole system is just wrong. [Laughs]
CHANA MASON
Okay, so now throw your hands up in the air and think about your daughter’s high school situation with your hands up in the air. Do you notice any shift in your focus?
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
Yeah, well first of all she’s right across from me on the table. So, my focus is on how capable she is, how awesome she is, and how it really does not matter what school she ends up in. [Laughs]
CHANA MASON
So, that’s what the cool thing is that all of these three things, focus, physiology, and language–they kind of play together and they affect each other. You can play your arms down. One of the things that Tony Robbins does at his event that his live events is he’ll ask someone–he’ll ask the audience who here is depressed. Then he’ll ask them, “What do you have to do to get yourself depressed?” and then he’ll tell them a joke and they start laughing he’s like, “No, no, no, no,” go back to being depressed. The whole entire crowd is–we’re all watching. We’re all students of watching how this person is getting themselves depressed, and it’s like their physiology has to be down, they have to focus on what’s not working, on things that are fearful, what’s dark in the space, and then language can also have a huge effect on us. So what you did when your physiology was down and you were talking about the high school, you started talking about the system, and all of these bad things about the system. You may or may not have noticed it right but even the word system feels very heavy because it feels like this morphos, huge, super beyond human blob that’s scary.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
Beyond human–that’s exactly what it is. You create this thing. Yes–
CHANA MASON
But then when your arms were up what you chose to focus on was your daughter and then your focus became a lot smaller on things that you appreciate, and that are beautiful.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
Awesome. She is beautiful.
CHANA MASON
So one of the things I notice in my clients who have a habit of being in a down state is that they pay zero attention to all of the small things in their lives that are really rich and beautiful, and they make the small things in their life that are frustrating–they make them really big.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
Yeah, we talked about this I have a class. I just put it up on this week on YouTube called the Recipe for Happiness, and the recipe for happiness is grateful and overcoming that two-sided coin. Either you’re grateful for what you have or you’re working, you’re overcoming something difficult, and you’re really proud of yourself but there is no room to focus on something negative because if it’s negative, then you’re proud of yourself that you’re overcoming it. If it’s positive, then you’re grateful and you keep going. It’s like you’re just happy all the time.
CHANA MASON
Sweet, sweet. Yeah, and a lot of that has to do with how you choose–what language you choose to tell about the thing that you just called negative. So, one of the things that I’ve shifted in my language is rather than talking about something being a problem, being wrong, or being broken, I call it a challenge. For me the word challenge, and everyone is a little bit different in how they relate to language, but for me the word challenge feels like an invitation towards overcoming. It’s like, “Oh, there’s an obstacle but I can do it.” It’s a challenge but it’s not impossible.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
Miriam Adahan was here ten years ago, and she was talking about the way the brain works and what turns on the chemistry in the brain to celebrate. Overcoming a challenge is the thing that makes you the happiest. It is one of those things that turns on the biggest party in your head with sparkles, sprinkles, balloons, and everything, and the most awesome music. We’re so used to shutting it down because it’s like, “Big deal. So you did the dishes? Everybody does the dishes.”
CHANA MASON
But even more so, we try to keep our lives small and avoid challenges and discomfort, missing out on the on the concept that those challenges are the key to that party. That party’s so good.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
Oh, that party’s awesome, and you wanna keep it alive–you keep doing it and you choose to get out of your comfort zone for growth because it feels so good. You get to the point where you turn it all around. It just it all fits in so beautifully because we were just talking with one of my friends is calling me with something or we’re talking about how you keep keeping yourself in this comfort zone because you don’t believe that there is anything different. The size of your dream–that’s exactly what it is. You have no dreams because you’re hopeless. You’re just staying in this comfort zone, and it’s not even comfortable. Just get out.
CHANA MASON
It’s not comfortable. It’s very small, yucky, and augh. It’s a discomfort that we know. It’s theoretically comfortable because we’re used to it but it doesn’t feel good.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
I don’t know if you saw. I made a three-minute video on the mindset shift we need for Covid-19 when it just started, and it was all about how when you’re in the middle of birth and you’re at the worst part when it hurts the most and you’re that close to the end, and you’re like, “Oh, now it hurts too much. Let’s just go home. Put the baby back. Bye! I was happy being nine months pregnant,” and you’re like, “No, you weren’t. You couldn’t breathe. You were wobbling. You were humongous,” but you rather that than having to go through the birth to get to the other side. We do it because we know in our head that the other side is better. We have proof. We know that this is part of this nature. We’re gonna get to hold the baby and be all on the other side but when we have dreams, we don’t see it like that. It’s not so obvious that the other side is guaranteed to feel better.
CHANA MASON
That’s why clarifying that dream and keeping your eye on the prize is so helpful. Really successful athletes picture that. They picture the baby on the other side, and they’re very good at it. That’s something that we are really passionate about also in teaching people through our note cards so–
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
I love the idea of notecards. Go ahead tell us about—
CHANA MASON
They’re so simple. They’re inexpensive. They’re just these little cardboard pieces of paper and we have three different types of note cards that we teach in our book, The Size of Your Dreams, and they’re kind of the pins through which we’re gonna follow our course but the course is all–
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
Yeah, I was gonna say–are we going through all three of the cards through the 6-week program?
CHANA MASON
Yes, so two weeks are dedicated to each of the cards.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
Okay, awesome.
CHANA MASON
And the concept of a card–it’s so simple. So we have a goal. We have an outcome card. You just write a goal at the top. You say when you’re gonna accomplish the goal, and you write some steps. I could teach you that in five minutes. The question is how do you create the whole world around that? How do you give yourself resilience, the confidence, and the resources to make that happen? How do you get the support of a mastermind around you? How do you even know what really are the goals that you’re reaching for that are in alignment with who you are as a human being and where you meant to go? I can share with you my current outcome card goal.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
Let’s hear it.
CHANA MASON
And I realize now that the next time I do it, I’m gonna write it differently. I’ll tell you in a minute why. The top of my goal is that I intend to have 50 students enrolled in this coming course, and then under that I put the steps that I was going to do in order to accomplish that goal. I remembered, literally only yesterday, that my favorite outcome card that my husband has written–he wrote when he we first published our book The Cash Machine. He wrote this card that said that he intends to help at least 10,000 people transform their financial picture by the end of the year.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
How could he measure that because—
CHANA MASON
That’s a really good question. That’s a really good question. We’re partly going to measure it based on the feedback we get from readers and to a certain degree, understanding that a certain percentage of readers actually finished books, and follow through on them and us understanding the data following that.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
Even if somebody buys the book and didn’t read it but somebody buys the book and then gave it to the whole family, it evens out.
CHANA MASON
So, in any case why the two goals feel so different to me is that in one goal I was just focused on how many people enroll in a course. In the other goal, the focus is so much on impact and how you change the world. Just thinking about affecting 10,000 people’s financial picture gives me such a high. Picturing 50 people signing up for a course–it’s okay but it’s not the same. That’s the key that I think that when we have a clear vision of us having an impact on the world in a way that feels rich and meaningful, it’s so exciting. Then, we do know the baby on the other side.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
Okay, so now rewrite your card in a way that would make sense now with this understanding.
CHANA MASON
I intend to facilitate at least 50 people’s transformation through my course.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
That’s amazing. I like that.
CHANA MASON
Yeah, so that’s actually part of my identity card so we have these other kind of cards called identity cards, where we teach people how to really boost their identity by writing a card of qualities that you have or qualities you see in other people that you want to grow within yourself. So being about transformation is one of them so being a transfer. I think I put transformational diva so it’s but that’s so much of what my life is about–transforming myself and facilitating other people’s transformation so that’s so exciting.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
That is awesome. Okay, tell me about the transformation. What can I expect because I’ll tell you what happened a couple of days ago. A friend called me and said, “I know this is your specialty–helping women with their husbands and their marriages. I actually need your help, and I can’t pay you. Will you talk to me?” I was like, “Of course. I talk to anybody who calls me.” I always will make sure to at least give the free discovery call cause why not? I can help someone, and I know I can help someone even just in one sitting because I can give them tools to at least survive until they want to do something with it. I was very happy about it. I scheduled her in a week. We talked, she said all the wrong things with her husband with her marriage, how she shouldn’t have married him, she’s made such a mistake, she’s already married 15 years so there’s no hope, and it’s just finished. She was so stuck, and I felt so bad for her I’m like, “But do you realize that there’s hope? How would it look like if you were connected for real” She looks at me and says, “What does that even mean?” “Connected for real. When you’re a hundred percent there with your husband, with yourself, with Hashem. You’re not thinking of what should be and what other people are thinking or anything. You’re just so connected.” She’s like, “I don’t know. I don’t even think that’s possible,” and it was amazing how impossible it was in her mind. I spent half an hour just explaining to her what I mean, what I see that is possible, and she was like, “Uh-uh. I hear the words you’re saying. It’s just not computing there’s absolutely no way that in my situation, in this stage in my life, with this amount of kids, and with this husband that I’m stuck with that I will one day–he excitedly walks in and tell him how happy I am these broke my life all these things sounds so out of my—”
CHANA MASON
Realm of possibility.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
She couldn’t even dream it, so I gave her homework to journal on it and dream. Dream big. Be like, “This is what’s gonna happen if you transform,” but what do you do when you can’t dream big because you’re so stuck? I mean obviously then you get somebody like me. [Laughs]
CHANA MASON
It’s a good question. What I love to do–there’s an exercise I actually did yesterday and that I love that I called the obstacle course. The reason I did it yesterday was I was meeting with a client in Europe who is a student of mine in one of my courses, an absolutely beautiful soul and happens to have evolved so much as a human being that they really enjoy just being in the present moment. They could just be in the present moment and bask in it with no qualms or problems whatsoever. At the same time, there’s something about The Size of Your Dreams that was really compelling to this person, and they were trying to figure out how can you be fully in the present moment and yet at the same time strive for more? The best answer I was able to offer them was that there’s something about the desire for growth that is innate. It’s the same the blade of grass. It’s innate to the human condition. It’s innate to the whole world–is just searching to evolve, and in order to evolve that means you have to be going toward something In the present moment, you’re enjoying the process of going there. So, we did this exercise because they were still totally stuck, so I said, “I want you to picture–” and I knew this person really wanted to work on teaching and being a public speaker so I said, “I want you to picture your teaching a group of people and they were like, “Oh my gosh, I just feel so much joy. It’s so alive. The people are engaged. It’s beautiful, and I totally believed that I felt. I was there with him.” It’s just such a beautiful experience to share that and I said, “Okay, so now I want you to notice that you’re here, and the vision is in front of you. Is there something between you and the vision?” They said, “Yeah, there’s a glass wall. I said okay what does the glass wall have to say?” I was thinking that, and they sat for a moment. They said, “The people don’t need me. They can move forward without me–that I’m not enough. I’m not important. Who am I to do this? What do I think I’m special or something?” We used the tools of inquiry that I teach in my book hold that thought we use those tools the question is thinking.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
Are they based on Byron Katie‘s?
CHANA MASON
Yes, to a certain–so Byron Katie is a massive inspiration for that book but I take it a whole other level. I also use some Stephen Covey and some Barry Neil Kaufman in that book. So yeah, we use Byron Katie’s inquiry process to question his thinking, and we worked on this one belief that that they could move forward without him. He’s like, “Whatever. If it’s not me, they’ll find some other teacher.” He really questioned that, explored other ways of thinking around this thing, and realized that the fact that they’d shown up in that room was their way of saying that they couldn’t move forward without him, that he couldn’t move forward without them, that somehow their souls had kind of decided to show up at this time, at this place, and move forward through life together. I got an email hours later saying there’s so much vitality running through his body. He was like, “They feel so alive so excited, so engaged, so excited to engage with life.” It’s already affected his day, and his encounter with other people so that was really powerful. That was really cool.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
Those messages are the best cause two hours after I spoke to this girl, for free because I love her, I get this amazing voice message, “You don’t understand. My husband just walked in, and I told him what I really think that he can do it, he’s amazing, he’s gonna end up at the top of the company, and this and that. We are, and I’m, so appreciative that he works hard and he cares about me and—” I was like, “This is not what you were saying before we started,” but she’s like, “You opened my eyes and it made me feel so good because that’s all I had to do. The ability to just open someone’s eyes and not change anything in the reality–I don’t have to change anything. I just have to tell them to look at reality a different way. That’s what you were doing with this guy. You reminded me by the way I have a video coming out next week about me being scared of speaking in public and being on camera–
CHANA MASON
And look at you. You look so comfortable.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
I had to go through a real process because it was very similar. I have a teacher who is a friend, who’s a teacher and an artist. She did this art therapy thing on us just for fun and we had to draw ourselves in the biggest fear that we have and then after we drew it, we had to flip over the page and draw what it would look like without the fear. Then from that, pull out all the different things, the little fears of what are people gonna say, what are people gonna know, what am I gonna say, what’s gonna be whatever, and break it down. After that, I did my first video. That was over a year and a half ago. I was like, “You’re right. I don’t have to know what to say. I’m just gonna say what Hashem wants me to say. He’s putting words in my mouth anyway. I don’t have to plan it out. I usually don’t know what is going to resonate. I just go with whatever comes, and what are people are gonna say–what do I care? I’m not controlling them.
CHANA MASON
Yeah, yesterday I posted a video no makeup, no jewelry. I was literally–my face was still all groggy from having woken up in the morning, but I just had this thought and I shared it. It’s gotten shared by 10 different people, and it’s gotten over 500 views and I just posted it last night. I haven’t had a video get 500 views in a year.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
Wow.
CHANA MASON
It’s like all of the rules–I broke all the rules and it didn’t matter.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
But that’s exactly what I meant. We were talking about that. Because it came up that people really don’t believe that they can fix their part of marriage and I’m here to be like, “You can and you will.” If you want it hard enough and you can see that it’s possible, you’re gonna get it and it’s gonna be so much more amazing cause when you got married there was the sparks and all the excitement–
CHANA MASON
Then you have this vision but it’s just keeping that vision in check.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
But was very shallow. You didn’t know each other. There wasn’t life. It was like, “Yay there’re sparks!” but they’re external. There’re sparks but when you work hard, you go through life, and you’re like, “Something’s wrong. I’m not feeling it. I want to make it. I want to do this. I have this vision of having an amazing marriage, and I’m gonna make it work,” and then you actually reach it, it’s on a completely different level because you feel like we were talking about before you overcame and the party is rockin’ there.
CHANA MASON
We feel that a lot because we’ve gone through a lot in our marriage. It’s so cool to see how far we’ve come.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
The coolest thing we were talking–I was talking to a friend about the growth card because I was saying that one of the coolest things about the growth card–it’s almost like you break through the ceiling just to realize that’s the floor to the next level. The transitions just keep coming, and then you get excited about getting to the next level. The first level is hard. It’s scary, and then the next one’s like, “Okay, we can do this.” Tell me about the course more I want to get excited about it.
CHANA MASON
What’s interesting, cause we reviewed the curriculum earlier this week, and I was like, “Oh, this is so awesome,” because we put the curriculum together a year ago and actually, we filmed the whole course–we were in Ecuador, we filmed the whole thing back when my husband was scared of getting in front of the camera. Dave wouldn’t get in front of the camera so he’s like, “You need to do the whole thing,” so we filmed the whole thing with only me in front of the camera. Then that month, Dave started getting in front of the camera for the first time, and he really had to psych himself up every single time. He had the whole song and dance that he would do. Now he’s got in front of the camera every day for over a year and so he’s like, “Oh, of course. This is my stuff,” he came up with a lot of these tools. “I’m not gonna not be in front of the camera. It’s my class,” so is really great. So to review that–it’s not pre-recorded. We quite specifically decided to do it live because we want to really engage with everyone give everyone support, be there, creating a lot of feedback, and we also want to see how we can get better because we created the curriculum kind of in a vacuum, and we know the tools are really powerful but a lot of times, when you teach something you realize, “Oh I could tweak this. I could tweak that.”
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
That’s one of my things is when Corona hit and I started doing live classes on Zoom, people were asking me to record them, and first of all because there’s other people on the screen, I didn’t feel comfortable posting other people’s questions and their faces. So then re-recorded the class, and put it up on YouTube–it’s never the same. It’s really good–totally worth watching but there’s something so amazing about having to answer people’s questions, things coming up in the middle, or just saying these tangents that come up because you see someone’s face—
CHANA MASON
And also just feeding off of people’s energy which, I’ve been onstage and an educator for years but never would it have occurred to me that teaching on Zoom would I be feeding off people’s energy, and I am. It’s amazing. Certain people I see their face–they calm me down. I see other people, their face they get me all excited and engaged. It’s just so fascinating.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
There was one lady who was in one of my zoom classes and she says, “You break through my screen. How did you do that? I don’t understand. It feels like you’re right here, and there is no screen.”
CHANA MASON
It’s amazing, right? I mean that’s how I feel. I feel like I’m in your kitchen, so that’s great. So, the course is gonna be six weeks. We have a private Facebook group. We’re going to give each other support. Our big, big thing is people should join the course with a buddy so that they have so they have somebody to be held accountable to. You get held accountable to the entire mastermind, but there’s something about having a buddy–they can help you with your homework, they can help you with processing–that’s something we’re really excited about–
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
I got so excited about the buddy system then I created an entire buddy group. Anybody who wants to be a part of my buddies is welcome to come join. I was thinking I’m not gonna stick to it if I’m just doing it for myself because I know myself and I know how much I love helping other people. Even in school when we were learning math, I was teaching the math to the kids who needed help so that I’d learn it better. They thought I was doing them a favor and I kept explaining to them that actually this is the way I learn–is by teaching. So, I couldn’t–I had to do it. I’m very excited. I think I already have five people in my and my buddy system.
CHANA MASON
Very cool. So, we’re gonna take people through guided visualizations, processes in NLP, teaching people how to function in a mastermind–we’re gonna be facilitating the mastermind. We’re gonna be facilitating people’s cards. One of the things that’s really interesting to me is these note cards they’re so easy to write and yet when I taught them, people really struggle to write cards that are compelling and effective so that’s something we’re going to be working on. Teaching people what language compels you, what language drives you, how do you write steps that are attainable, how do you recruit the people around you to be a part of your process and help move you towards your goal–maybe they have steps that they can recommend, maybe they’re willing to hold you accountable to your steps, or they have resources that will just help you get one step ahead. So that’s exciting. I highly recommend is that people read the book ASAP so they get a taste of what this amazing story is about. It’s a really quick read. Super fun–
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
What happened after we spoke on the phone and I said, “I want to get the real book.” I posted to all my friends that I’m doing this buddy system. My friend who lives one block down shows me a picture of the two books, Hold That Thought, and The Size of Your Dreams, and says “You won’t believe it. I met her and bought her books in one of the fairs, and I forgot about it. Now that you reminded me, I’m gonna sit down and read them.”
CHANA MASON
Oh, no way!
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
“Wait, can I borrow it first?” [Laughs]
CHANA MASON
It would be cool if you want, we have certain people in different parts of the country who sell our books so if you want to be a local in your region of the country–if you want to be a local distributor, we can get a whole pile of books your way.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
You know how many books I have in my house right now that needs to be distributed? Eight hundred or something cause my husband wrote a Haggadah right before Pesach. We brought the store the Haggadah—Dabri Shir took 400 copies and was going to put it in all their stores, and then Coronavirus hit the day after he gave them the books. Right before Purim, we gave them books. Right after Purim, the whole place shut down. They hit the stores–the goal–my outcome goal, which I didn’t know was called that, was get the books on the bookshelves in stores. I made it, except nobody saw it because the bookstores were all closed. So, they gave us back all the books, and now they’re all in my house but the cool thing is that (a) we actually reached their goal, which was completely crazy. I made a video about it how insane writing a Haggadah is, and how we didn’t think it was doable, but the other cool thing is we got a sponsor to start working on the English. So, for next year, we’ll have Hebrew and English. It’s just so cool how I things move along even when you think it’s being stopped.
CHANA MASON
But also, that’s one of the things that were we’re really cautious about in people talking about the movie The Secret. So The Secret says it’s based on Napoleon Hill, but if you actually read Napoleon Hill, which is not easy to do because his writing is a bit dense and he pulls from a lot of anecdotes from his day, which was a hundred years ago–you’ve no idea who he’s talking about it. He assumes you know who all these people are, and it’s a little confusing but Napoleon Hill was so focused on–yes, you need to have a vision but you need to focus on the steps that you need to get there. The Secret is all about, “All I have to do is picture my Lamborghini and then I’m gonna have a Lamborghini in my life. I don’t need to think about what I need to do to get there, and I’m also not in a conversation with God. There’s no divine intervention in my life whatsoever.” So it’s not like, “Oh, I’d like to have a Lamborghini but I’m gonna be open to whatever the universe, God, the divine, or whatever you call it manifests itself into your life.” It’s just kind of a shutdown experience, which it’s really not.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
I love–one of the things I just read reminded me of is Kate Northrup has a book called Do Less. It’s a whole book about how to do less, and basically when you’re planning your week, one of the things is a–I call it Hashem but the universe’s to-do list where she gives things on her to-do list and she has no control over that she just wants Hashem to take care of I thought that was so brilliant. “Wait, take care of this for me, please. Thank you.” It’s called delegating. I think it’s just it’s just cute how’s she doesn’t see how it connects but it really is. It’s this open conversation, and realizing that you’re not in a vacuum. You’re here for something. So I always say if I’m here, Hashem wants me to be here. He put me here for a reason. If I’m connected to that reason, which I think is your identity card, the why of why am I here, what am I here to do, is that the identity card more like–
CHANA MASON
The identity card is much more about who I am. What are what are the qualities that I bring into the world?
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
Okay. I think that’s along the same lines of Hashem gave me all these qualities because He wants me to do something with them, and then your dream line up with that because, “Here I am. I need to be doing something so I might as well do what I need to be doing.” Then there’s this amazing thing where if I’m doing Hashem’s work, then Hashem wants to give me the tools to succeed. He’s showing me the way. It just feels like you’re working together and not in a conflict. You’re making it happen. What do you say about multiple cards? What if they have a lot of dreams and I want to just get it all? I just I am one of those people just–I wanted to do this and no one’s do that —
CHANA MASON
I think it really depends on the person. For me, I like to have one of each card at a time and not more because then I get overwhelmed cause I have a lot of the fear stuff that comes up for me. So just having cards at all is a challenge. For other people, the cards are really fun. It’s like play, so I don’t think–there’s no hard and fast rules. Sometimes my husband has five or six cards at a time, but I think if you want to be reading your cards multiple times a day, if you have a stack this big, then you’ve kind of set yourself up to fail on the actual note card process. There’s something about just focusing–what’s your one thing that you’re gonna do? So, I notice for myself in focusing on this course, I’ve taken a lot of other goals and just put them on the side burner.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
Do you write your cards and then put them on the side burner, or do you say I’m not even thinking about them?
CHANA MASON
That’s a good question. I don’t write them as cards, but I have them as goals. There’s something about the card process that’s very focusing for me it’s, “Okay this is center. This is center. This is center,” because I get really distracted into other things as we all do. I think a person’s really unique and different. That’s one of the things I’m excited to see in the group–is to see what different people choose to manifest and how they use their cards.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
That’s so cool. Will we be able to run our cards by you and get tweaks or things like that?
CHANA MASON
Yeah, so what I like–what I think is ideal is for someone to just post their card to the Facebook group. Obviously, if they’re not that type of person, and they don’t want to do that, then there’s a different way of going about it but you can post your card to the Facebook group and people can say, “Oh wow. That language really resonates with me,” or–I’ll give you an example. I’m in a mastermind group, and one of the women in my mastermind group presented her 12-week goal over the course of our three months together, and her 12-week goal was negative language. “I want to not feel X,” and so it was really easy for me to say, “Wow, there’s something about that the not that first of all, doesn’t resonate with the subconscious very well, and second of all, it just feels like a downer.”
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
You don’t know—
CHANA MASON
What you’re running towards. Exactly so that’s something that really anyone in the group could very quickly say, “Oh, wow. That didn’t really work for me,” and the thing is that as a collective, people can help come up with ideas for steps you can take to move forward that maybe one person isn’t going to come up with and that’s something you see in the book a lot–of all of the students having different perspectives and being able to offer ideas to whoever it is that’s dealing with their goal in the moment that that one person on their own couldn’t think of. Mind you, Dave and I thought of these things together. It’s just two of us but still, [Laughs] it feels these people are real.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
They are cause they’re in your book. So they’re real. My kids are reading books all the time, and sometimes it just cracks me up how they talk about these people. It’s as if–they’re having cool conversations. I have three reading girls who are all reading on high level, so they’re all having these conversations back and forth and it cracks me up and it’s amazing–
CHANA MASON
They totally have to read The Size of Your Dreams. They’ll like it.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
Yeah, well we’re gonna get it and we’re gonna take turns but it’s just amazing. It’s so fun to bring to life–that’s exactly what you’re doing. Just I think also just journaling or writing down your thoughts you’re bringing them to life.
CHANA MASON
What’s so fun is the opportunity that Dave and I have when we write books together, because we’ve both written books on our own independently, but to write books together–it’s so much fun because we come up with story ideas, particularly on walks and hikes. We’ll have a problem with a character, and we’re kind of chewing it over and trying to figure it out. One of my favorite family moments was when we were in Ecuador on a hike, and we didn’t realize but we went off the trail and by the time we caught on to the fact that we were off the trail, we were very, very, very far into the bush off the trail. I was getting a little bit scared, and the Sun was starting to set. It was a little freaky, but we got deep into the conversation about our latest book The Cash Machine, which teaches principles for building financial independence and we were really stuck on how to do the ending of this book. In the middle of this conversation, our son who at the time was 14–yeah 13, 14—said, “Hey why don’t you do a wedding hack?” which was a term that he made up in that moment, and we’re like tell us about it. He came up with this whole idea. I’m not gonna reveal it cause it’s the end of the book, and he came up with this whole idea. We were like that’s so good, and that’s literally the ending of the book. How cool is that right for your kid to come up with it? You talk about these characters as though they’re real. It’s like, “Oh, let’s do that,” and then my husband writes a scene I’m like, “Oh, she wouldn’t say that.” [Laughs]
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
I know because we know. So my kids really, really want me to make a kid’s version with illustrations, comics, stories and explanations about how the Seder is actually going to happen because the whole Haggadah premise is that there’s a Korban Pesach (Pascale Lamb) at the table. This is how the whole thing started. My husband did all this research for years and years and years, and found that we are gonna have Korban Pesach one daysay Amen, and then nobody’s gonna know what to do. Everybody’s just gonna be, “Who’s the oldest guy here who can make a decision?” and the oldest guy’s gonna be like, “I never thought about this. I don’t know,” and then they’re all gonna be like, “What do we do now? I don’t know.” Nobody’s gonna know because they never did this cause it’s been so long. We don’t even have a grandparent who remembers how things used to be done. So, all we have is just the Rambam and certain Halakhas that tell us what things have to be. Then from there, my husband just put it all together and tweaked the Seder to line up because there’s no more afikomen, for example because there’s no more matzah. Afikomen is actual meat and you only have to eat an olive size or whatever–
CHANA MASON
So he wrote it to be for when there’s a third temple?
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
Yes, you don’t need the temple you have to just give the Korban Pesach on the Mizbe’ach (altar) whatever but yes, for when there is a Korban Pesach and all of the Jews gather and you have to sleep over in Jerusalem within the walls. There’s so many cool things are going on, and it became so alive in our family that we were just talking about it for real. Absolutely not as a wish and dream about something that was gonna happen one day when you guys are old and maybe we’ll narrow it to see it too but this year this year. It became so real and now that Corona happened and it feels even closer. We’re like, “Hashem is putting us through this birth. It hurts. It’s not comfortable but we’re closer, we’re closer.” Then they’re like, “We have to do it for kids. We have to explain it with comics and with illustrations, and with the whole story and whatever,” and I was like, “Oh my gosh, this is so much work but I so want to do this.”
CHANA MASON
Why don’t they do it?
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
I will do it.
CHANA MASON
No, why don’t they do it?
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
Oh, my kids? Yeah, if I could have an eight-year-old in charge of this project, and see that it goes through–
CHANA MASON
No, but in all seriousness–the Heartland Institute published the Haggadah that has a lot of kids’ drawings in it.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
It’s a familial idea that’s building itself. I am totally in it. I think that it would be so cool. My husband’s working on the English now, and I want to take all of his English stuff once it’s ready, and lower the level to children’s and then also add all the explanations to it. That’s my goal and of course I have a ton of fears and reasons why it can’t be done. You’re just gonna have to help me through it in the course. It has to get done but I’m so scared, and I’m a graphic designer, a perfectionist, and I want it to be really, really good. I need to hire an illustrator, and where am I gonna find an illustrator?
CHANA MASON
I think your kids can draw it all. I’m serious.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
I think we can, yeah but it’s a little scary. It’s a little scary to even say that loud in a live.
CHANA MASON
Yes, now you have to do it. No choice.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
So, if you want to sponsor this, go ahead. Talk to me. No, for real. If you’re an illustrator, and you want to work it with us go ahead, do that too. It’s so cool how sometimes you say, and you think of all these things that can’t happen, but then they could totally happen. Before we close, what is the main thing that you want people to turn to now.
CHANA MASON
So I would love people who haven’t read the book to click on the free download link, get themselves a free copy of the book. If they want to explore more about this course, I highly recommend they click on that link also. The course is 99 US dollars, and if you sign up with a buddy, your buddy gets 50% off so we’ve really tried to make it a very affordable course. That’s literally what I charge for one hour of coaching with me. You’re getting not just 12 hours of coaching with me, in addition to the Facebook group, you’re getting also with my husband together, and we coach people all the time. It’s just our life’s mission and purpose.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
I’m super excited because once we’re all in it together. I like that. I like making friends. I like having that. It’s something I missed during for Corona. I’m all alone. So, that’s really cool. Is there any homework or things–is every class based on action steps?
CHANA MASON
There’s always homework because we’re big fans of homework. We want people to get as much juice out of course. It’s not like you sit there for two hours and then you’re done. Particularly when you’re talking about a course that’s teaching all about manifestation and goal-setting your homework really has a lot to do with manifesting the goals you set for yourself over the course.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
Do you think that if a person’s already overwhelmed and feels like they’re so much in their life but they really want to do the course–is it something they should worry about? Like, “I don’t think I could do so much homework, but I want to still come.” Is it worth it for them? Will they get a lot out of it?
CHANA MASON
Most of the homework that we give gives you space to decide how far you want to take it, and as with anything the more you invest the more, you’re gonna get out of it, but at the very least you’re gonna learn tools that you can take with you for the rest of your life. The more work you do to integrate those tools, the more they’re gonna stick. Otherwise, you go back and you review them again at some other point, but really trying as much as you can to infuse your day with these tools, infuse it in the way that you think the way that you see, the way you interact but one of the things we love about the note cards is—the note cards is five minutes a day.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
Because I’m thinking homework–carve out time in your day and be very focused on homework but really you’re saying it’s just a mindset thing, being present, or thinking about certain things while walking.
CHANA MASON
It’s still carving time in your day. It’s also carving time in your day. Sometimes it’s carving time to check in with your buddy. So, you could do that while you’re doing dishes. You could both be doing dishes and talking on the phone or something like that. I sometimes have meetings while I’m on the treadmill, going for a walk, doing yoga, doing dishes, or cooking. I try to use that time as double time for other goals that I have.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
Yeah, cool. I really like your guarantee. I think that was one of the coolest things that not only will you get your money back, but we believe it’s so much more worth it than what–the value is just incredible.
CHANA MASON
We’re big fans on value. We’re very big fans on not feeling you have to take all the risk and that the person providing you a service takes none.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
Yeah, it takes away a little bit of the fear of what if I pay all this money and I don’t get enough of whatever, what if I commit, and then I don’t actually feel it’s for me. It’s okay. Fine–doesn’t have to be for everyone. I think that understanding that you’re just open for people to find if this is good for them instead of having to worry is such a nice thing.
CHANA MASON
Another thing I want to share is that just in the past couple days, because of feedback that we got from people who really wanted more information about exactly what’s in the course, we really changed the website and have put a lot more information. We changed the video to give people a lot more info. So if people have been following you and they feel they already checked it out, I recommend you check it out again just so that you can get more information and more details of stuff.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
Awesome. This is so fun.
CHANA MASON
Thanks for having me.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
So psyched about—
CHANA MASON
Woo!
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
She is going to be awesome anywhere she ends up because it’s just the best. Who cares. Yeah, I’m going to have to do a video by the way about my process with finding high schools I feel I learned so much I can’t not share it but it’s scary.
CHANA MASON
Wishing you so much luck with that and excited to see you. Thank you so much for having me on. Thank you.
REBBETZIN BAT-CHEN GROSSMAN
Thank you for coming. Thank you, everyone. Bye. And that’s it! Thank you for listening to the very end. I would love if you can leave a review and subscribe to the podcast. Those are things that tell the algorithm, this is a good podcast and make sure to suggest it to others. Wouldn’t it be amazing if more people became more connected for real? And now, take a moment and think of someone who might benefit from this episode. Can you share it with them? I am Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman from connectedforreal.com. Thank you so much for listening, and don’t forget, you can be connected for real.