47. How I Got Started Part 2

January 15, 2023

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Welcome to the Connected For Real podcast. I’m Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman, a marriage coach for women in business, and my mission is to bring God’s presence into your life, into your marriage, and into your business. Let’s get started.

Welcome. Thank you for your patience. I promised you I’d be back tomorrow, which turned into three days, which I’m really sorry about. But this is part two and I’m excited because we were talking about how I started, where I came from, what I did, and so in part one, I told you all about how

I started in Fifth Avenue in Manhattan working as a graphic designer. Then I came here to Israel and you heard a bit, a little bit about the transition between graphic design to marriage coaching. and I started telling you about the coaching that I got in order to help me get on the right track. So the first thing I did was six months with Debbie Sasson.

And I think it was one of the best things I did for myself because when you’re in that loop of I need this money in order to live, in order to have this money, in order to live and you know, we weren’t making enough. And so everything was a stretch. And then finally when I would. You know, get a new client and the money would come in, it would just go straight into family money.

And it felt like I was running in circles. And so one of the things that helped me get out of that was committing to at least find. The, the coach that I wanted to hire actually this is a really interesting part of the whole thing because I was doing all this free stuff, right? When you’re in the transition mode, you hear a lot of freebies, you listen to a lot of podcasts, you are consuming a ton of information, and it’s moving you forward.

And a lot of aha moments and a lot of adjustments and shifts and thinking differently, and that is all amazing, which is why is so great that there’s so many free resources out there. And then I heard one. One lady, I don’t know her name, I don’t remember. There was so many freebies, right? And one of the ladies had a freebie and she explained why you are stuck even though you’re moving.

And she says, because you don’t have one teacher, you don’t have one. Person who you follow. It’s like you’re doing this and then you hear this and you’re like, oh, that’s a good idea, and I’ll do that, and then I’ll do another thing and a million other things. And so you’re constantly being sidetracked by the next thing that you need to do without really having a clear vision of where you’re going and a clear guidance from someone who’s been there.

So that was a, that was one of the aha moments that I thought, oh, she’s right. If I just had one person telling me how to get on track and be on the right direction and you know, on the right lane to that goal, then it could save me so much scatteredness. And so I prayed for it and I prayed that first step is find the right guide because.

as much as everybody is trying to sell you something and at the end of every freebie there is a sale sale pitch,

I couldn’t afford it. And instead of getting all resentful and frustrated, I decided that now my goal is to find the right one, and that doesn’t cost any money, right? Just finding the right person doesn’t cost any money. And once I know who the right person is, then the money will. , and sure enough, that’s exactly how it happened.

I ran into a freebie that told me about a different freebie, and there was a podcast episode with a guest speaker on it or something like that, and Debbie Sasson was one of the speakers. And so I listened to her speak and I thought, oh, look at that. I think she would get where I’m at. I think she would understand my my conflicts, my value.

Scale and you know where I’m at and where I want to be. It sounded like this would work, but I obviously couldn’t afford it. So I reached out and I just said, I am, you know, I’m really glad I found you. You know, something about, do you have anything that you’re offering and. Sure enough, she was starting something called the 60 ways in 60 days, and that was a challenge.

That was by email. And you get 60 emails, like 60 days worth of emails, and each email is going to get you one step further to making money. So I decided that I was going to take this freebie so serious. and I was going to do it as if I was paying for it. And I have to tell you, we were traveling in the middle of that freebie for a month and we, you know, I had all my kids in the house and we had trips and we had like everything.

Everything was going crazy that 60. Mark, right? And still every morning I would check my email, read the email, and then, you know, quickly journal something or try to think of the question or process, whatever she was saying, you know, do the homework. I really, really tried doing the homework and being intentional about taking this freebie, and I think by day.

I don’t remember if it was 20 something or 30 something. I got a huge client and I was like, oh my gosh, this works. Like just her freebie worked and it was really awesome. It was really, really cool. And so I told my husband that when this money comes in from this client, I am using half of that money for myself to get out of the loop and my husband’s like, I don’t care.

It’s your money . Obviously it’s all of our money, right? Like we share money. But my husband’s very sweet about giving me the freedom I need. Especially since I had that talk with him about feeling pulled in each direction and, you know, being really honest and vulnerable. That was like maybe six years ago now.

That’s how you know that that was a real turnaround for me. Ever since then, I feel really supported and and I feel like I have what I need in order to do what I need to do, and I really thank my process and you know, what I had to go through for that. That’s also how my my call method was created.

And and the systems that I, that I. Put in place in order to teach other people how to do it is because I had to go through it myself. Okay. So I did Debbie SAS’s six month one-on-one, which was amazing and great, and I’m super grateful for her. One of the things that happened during that time, Whoop.

One of the things that happened during that time is that I niched even further, not just marriage, but marriage and business. I realized that as a graphic designer, I was the one telling people to niche down all the time. And then I had the same issues everybody else has. I’m like, wait, what? I don’t want a niche.

I wanna help everyone. And because I knew, like, you know, you know when you know, you have to sort of like, okay, fine. Face yourself and say, okay, what am I doing? And so that too was really helpful that I had Debbie to walk me through that process of facing myself and just coming to peace with having to pick and having to sharpen my message to be more specific and more aligned.

I think since then I’ve even sharpened more and more as I went along. But I think that was a real helpful pro you know, point in the process. At the end of working with Debbie Sassan, I did not make any money. Like I made money, but not significant money and I felt very, very frustrated. And our last session I remember was tapping through the disappointment of not making back my money, my investment.

And it was just, you know, trust the process. I’m on the right track, even though I didn’t see it yet, and I have what it takes. I’m doing the right things. You know, things will just take as long as they need to take. And I’m, I’m gonna tell you something. Within two months of working with her, I got my two clients, like not that much later, I got two clients and, or maybe three clients.

I got three clients I think within those two months after. And it totally paid for itself. You know, I, I. Got back, I think I made three times the investment on Debbie Sasson within six months of leaving her, so like within the year. So I was pretty happy with that. And then but then I told you I, I left Debbie Sasson and I felt a little bit in the air, like up in the air.

I needed to be part of something. And I also felt very isolated because it’s very lonely to do one-on-one. You think you’re the only one, you’re the one receiving help. So it feels very uncomfortable, , and you’re always like pushing past your limits and you have no one to complain to about it because nobody else gets it.

So I, I realized I needed to be a part of something. And just then out of the blue, Ozzy Jenko had, she’s amazing by the way. She is a coach and she had a networking event where she sold. Program of three months to be a part of a network and to you know, have, have a group experience of. Whatever she was offering.

And I think by the way, she’s offering it again, which I’m really excited about. Go and tell her I sent you because she’s really great. She’s one of the best facilitators for networking that I have had. So definitely highly recommended during those three months. So first thing is the first session she did, we had to go into a guided meditation and meet our future self in three months and get advice from her.

And the advice I got was, if you can’t be now, now you won’t be able to be now. and it cracked me up because I realized how I’m never gonna change. I’m always going to be funny with language because English is my third language and I am just funny at making up words and messing things up and you know, being silly and awkward about it.

And so that’s not gonna change in three months, . But another thing was that I got the most amazing advice, which was be present. , you know you have to be now. Now, you can’t be constantly running after later when it’s now, because when you get to later, you won’t be able to be now later either, right? You won’t be able to be present.

If you don’t use that muscle of becoming present, you will never be able to be present. It doesn’t matter what you achieve, and that was really great advice. . And another thing my future self told me is, by the way, we’re pregnant. And I was like, what? And so that was my baby boy who was born a year and a half ago.

So that just tells you it’s a year and a half plus nine months ago. That’s a long time ago. That I had this this experience with Ozzy. So those three. . By the way, I found out I was pregnant on the last session of those three months, so that was pretty crazy. I have no idea how my, how my soul knew or how I found out through a meditation.

I have no, no clue. It wasn’t something I was planning. But that was really cool. I guess it was a way of preparing me for it. So at the end of Ozzy’s program, there was 20 women. I made friends with so many of them. One of them became my first client in my program that I opened. My signature program, Flo, and she’s still with me till this day.

So I, I adore her. And I think that it was, you know, it was amazing. One of the things I realized was that the less I invested in myself, like this group program was less expensive than the Debbie one-on-one the less I made during the program, which was very strange. And that’s what pushed me to then sign up for my third program, like the thing that followed Ozzy when, when Ozzy Janko X’s group was done.

I had an opportunity to join something called Quantum Leap Entrepreneur with Eva pava, and I have so much gratitude to her because that was exactly what I needed. I was early pregnant. I, I must have been three months pregnant by then, and I, I heard her free. By day four, I was sold on it. I didn’t even hear day five, six, and seven.

I just paid and signed up because it was so good. And that was pretty impressive because I was so scared and the fear wasn’t, I’m scared to invest or I’m scared to fail, or I’m scared to, I don’t know what my biggest fear was. I, if I sign up, , I am going to become a leader. And that’s scary. And so I told it to my husband and he said, if that’s what you were made for, then put the fear aside and do it.

And I thought, isn’t that amazing that we got to a place where our marriage is so strong and seamless that I could talk to him about my fears and he could tell. an answer that exactly what I needed to hear as opposed to, but it costs so much money and it’s so expensive and whatever, right? Like what used to be in the past where it’s like all about just the money and the expense and you know, it has nice to do with what’s going on in the background or behind the scenes here.

There was so much emotional capacity for. Support and the understanding and the listening. It just felt really, really good and I felt very supported, and when I told Eva that, my husband said, so put the fear aside and do it because this is what you were made for. She said, you have to tell this story over and over again because as a marriage coach, to have a husband support you like that.

is crazy, is not normal. And I think to myself, this is normal. It’s just not the normal we’re used to yet, but this is what it’s supposed to be and this is how my clients end up having relationships with their husbands because this is what I teach. So that’s pretty exciting and amazing. That’s. Program.

Quantum Leap Entrepreneur was a year long program, but really I got most of the magic and most of what I needed to hear the first six months because I had the time, I was, you know, it was right before I gave birth, so the entire six months from being pregnant, three months to almost giving birth, I think I showed up to the class right before I gave.

Those six months were absolutely life changing, and I have so much gratitude to Eva. She is the one who pushed me to create a method out of my craziness, right? And she said, what needs to happen? And I was like, okay, you need to connect to yourself. You need to ask for abundance. You have to listen for the answer.

You have to master a higher level of consciousness. And she loved it, and she was so supportive and so, Such a good cheerleader, but also such a good adjuster. You know, I remember saying like, maintain a higher level of consciousness. She’s like, no master . So I’m really grateful to her, super grateful. And even till this day I, you know, I sent her messages of how much I appreciate her.

Too bad. Her program is, has evolved so much. So now when I want to refer people the program doesn’t exist. , but it was, it was really wonderful. Okay, so then after Q L E was finished, the Quantum Leap Entrepreneur, so I told you I had a baby. One of the things I really appreciate about the program also was that it taught me about value buyers versus price buyers.

And I realized what a price buyer I was, , and how I’m always looking for the discount and I’m always looking for how to save money and. . I didn’t wanna be like that anymore because I just wanted to get the value of what I needed. You know, instead of getting something that I don’t need, but it’s cheaper. I wanna get the thing I want and need and be willing to pay what it takes for it.

And that allowed me, that shift in me, allowed me to have a home birth, which I probably would not have done. And paid full price for if, if I didn’t have Quantum Leap entrepreneurs. So, besides my business, it also affected my life in a major way, and I’m, I’m grateful for that too. And of course, one of the things that she teaches is that it’s all one.

Which is very aligned to what I teach because in our program, marriage is just a quarter of what we talk about . Most of the work is our connection with God, our connection with ourselves, and our connection, you know, with the world. So it’s, it’s really. It’s really exactly what it is. It’s all one, and it’s all whole, and you become a whole person when you are able to integrate all the parts of yourself.

Okay? So after I had the baby, I took it slow. I got more support. I hired a virtual assistant. I hired a personal assistant. Eventually I became a lot more intentional about. What freebies I listened to because I just didn’t have any time to waste. So I started really being picky about who it is that I hang out with, who it is that I listen to.

I unsubscribed for email lists that were just sending me, you know, things that weren’t in alignment. I found that I unfollowed a lot of people who I was following before, but realized. with time that their message is too rough for me. Like, I don’t know if this makes sense, but I am very careful about my speech.

I’m very careful about the words I use. I don’t curse and I try not to be rough with my language and when other people are. It affects me. It rubs me the wrong way. And I found that on Instagram, people are cursing on purpose, also on podcasts, but on Instagram it is really. Too much for me to handle.

And so I, I’ve been unfollowing people for a while now. Anytime anybody uses a bad word, I’m like, oh man, you just got yourself o off the list. And I pressed the unsubscribe or unfollow. I found that this is such a nice cleanse for me because it allows me to, Declutter the things that are just making noise and really listen to the things that are in alignment.

So I do have some people I still listen to, even though they’re not a hundred percent aligned, because I do feel like I am gaining so much from listening to them. But in general, if it’s not something that is valuable enough, I will just unsubscribe. So that’s what’s been going on. Oh, I love this. This is so fun.

Okay, so what is coming up next? You wanna know, and I’m excited to tell you. So you guys know I have my virtual retreats. So the next virtual retreat is February 6th. You could sign up@connectedforreal.com slash retreat and that’s where you’re going to be able to get all the emails and the details.

I send out a reminder and you can add it to your calendar. It’s gonna be really awesome. I’m also coming to New York, New Jersey, possibly Florida. Still working on the full schedule of the speaking engagement tour. But I am coming with my entire family to America, and we are very excited about this, first of all, because.

We get to be together as a family and also because we get to speak. So my husband’s going to be speaking. I’m going to be speaking. We still have one Shabbos left that is available for a scholar and resident Shabbos. So if you want to get both Rabbi and a Rebbetzin into your community, be in touch ASAP because there’s only one available and so you better catch it before someone else.

And that is, you know, that’s pretty much it. There is already a Roho party scheduled in Woodmere. There is something scheduled in Lakewood, New Jersey, and, and I’m excited. Okay, so those things are coming up. . Another thing that’s coming up is the in-person retreat but it’s a mini retreat. It’s called Realign.

And that’s exactly what we’re going to be doing, is taking all the parts of our lives and just realigning them, pulling them together, and making everything. Work together really nicely, sort of flow so that you don’t have that feeling of being pulled in all directions. It’s going to be very geared to women in business, so we’re gonna have lots of networking and you know, sharing information, sharing notes, helping each other.

We’re also going to be doing some art expression, because I always like that physical. Manifestation of something emotional or you know, a process that we went through. And of course guided meditation. I can’t do anything without that and my realign session, so that’s gonna be really, really powerful. Of course, I love food.

So there’s gonna be lunch and it’s here in Israel, so if you live in Israel, make sure to come and. Okay, this is it for now. I love you all. I’m going to come back next week with a, with a guest speaker and it’s gonna be really awesome and I will see you there. Bye.

And that’s it. Thank you for listening to the very end. I would love if you can leave a review and subscribe to the podcast. Those are things that tell the algorithm, this is a good podcast. And make sure to suggest it to others. Wouldn’t it be amazing if more people became more connected? For real? And now, take a moment and think of someone who might benefit from this episode.

Can you share it with them? I am Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman from Connected for real.com. Thank you so much for listening, and don’t forget, you can be connected for real.

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