Transcript:

Welcome to the Connected For Real podcast. I’m Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman, a marriage coach for women in business. And my mission is to bring God’s presence into your life, into your marriage and into your business. Let’s get started.

And we are live, welcome everyone to the Connected For Real podcast. I’m Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman and today we are having a solo episode all about the subconscious versus the unconscious. The super conscious and I promised you I would do this episode because so many people are talking about this. So many people are asking about this and so many of my clients are bumping into this and I think it’s really important to talk about it and for you to become aware of what’s actually happening behind the scenes.

So we know that, you know, you’re conscious, you’re awake. You are conscious, you’re living your life, and sometimes if you, you know, you may have seen these images of an iceberg, and what’s above the sea level or whatever is above water is what you can see, and that’s your conscious. So you can see that there’s certain things that affect your habits and your behaviors and the whatevers, and you see that, you’re awake to it, and you are aware of it.

But most of the stuff and the underneath the surface is where everything really is stored and where the bulk of the control is actually happening behind the scenes. So that is called your subconscious. And let me just get a little bit into the subconscious and then we’ll go into the super conscious.

The subconscious is below awareness and it’s in charge of all the automatic things. Okay. So involuntary processes like breathing and walking, you know, you’ve already learned it, you know what to do, you just do it. And it’s there so that you don’t have to think about every single thing you’re doing. It’s wonderful because it serves a very important purpose.

And it’s almost like default, right? So last week we spoke about how you are creating beliefs, creating thoughts, creating, you know, putting together, solidifying something that feels like, Oh, this is how the world goes around. I understand now, and therefore this is what has to happen for me to stay safe.

Your subconscious is doing all of that work behind the scenes. Okay? So it collects all the evidence and then it solidifies. A route of action. Right? This is great. And it’s also a little bit frustrating because then this is what comes up when you’re trying to do something and you’re being frustrated.

You’re trying to succeed at something and then you feel like, why can’t I just get through this? That’s the subconscious protecting you. Okay? So as we continue talking about the subconscious we said it’s all the routines and all the habits and all of the things that you’re, you know, are just coming up from the bottom underneath the surface.

So emotions and dreams. You know, fears, shame, all that stuff is all coming from down there. And it can be accessed, right? So your subconscious can be accessed through things like meditation and self reflection and journaling and things like that, where you can just sort of, as we spoke last week in, how to bypass the overthinking brain, you can go down to your subconscious with meditation or guided imagery and find what is holding me back.

What’s holding me back? And I have a great story about this. To illustrate this, I was part of a coaching program. I told you about it in my 100th episode. And one of the things she did was a meditation to go into the elevator down to the subconscious. What is holding me back? And she did what’s holding me back from growing my business.

But I was pregnant and due to give birth like a couple of days ago like type of thing, right? Mine was a gigantic. I wanted to give birth. I wasn’t sure why I wasn’t giving birth and I decided to change the question to what’s holding me back from having this baby So we go into the elevator and she says now you come out and Notice where you are and just find out the details look around.

You don’t have to figure it out. You just have to Notice, so I’m walking around and I’m in this and it’s like White room filled with, you know, things on the walls. It looked like a museum of some sort, and there were pictures and videos on the walls with explanations to each thing. And I’m trying to figure out what each one of these means and what’s going on.

And the center there was this, like, gigantic hole in the ground type of thing. And there was a rail to it. And I’m trying to figure out like, what is this? Is this an art exhibit? Is it some sort of like weird thing? Like I just couldn’t figure it out. And so I’m walking around and I’m looking at the videos and the images that are on the walls with the little explanations.

And I’m realizing that, oh, these are all my biggest fears. And. I look down into this gigantic hole in the ground and I was like, I realized, oh my gosh, I’m so afraid. I’m so afraid of giving birth. I’m so afraid of going down there. I just want to stay here. It’s nice and safe. I know what’s happening when I’m pregnant.

I know what’s happening when I’m in this stage. I’m full of fears, and the fears on the walls were like, you know, all the fears that a normal person has, a normal woman has when she is pregnant. There was like, what if the baby isn’t, you know, well when it comes out, and that was something that I really worried about.

And, you know, I pray every time that nobody has to go through that because it’s just so painful and what if I don’t know, some complications or what if, what if, what if, what if, what if, like all the what ifs were all on the walls and I realized that me reading all the different explanations near the videos and images on the walls was just a good way to distract myself from actually going into the hole.

Now at this point, the meditation was over and she said, okay, so now come back into the elevator and you know, we’re going to go back into the conscious. Until this point, all this is subconscious, right? All this is, I’m just going down there. And I’m noticing what’s happening. And then at this point, I don’t know if I 100 percent understood what was going on, but I was able to see what I was seeing and notice what, where I was and things like that.

I think it all came together when we. Became a little bit more conscious. And then I was like, oh, it’s all my fears and then This is where the super conscious comes in So let me first give you the super conscious and then i’ll continue the story because it really is fascinating the super conscious is what you Achieve when you have this like spiritual awakening awareness intuition Higher state of being higher level of consciousness all these things.

It’s It’s, it’s sort of like bringing God into the situation and allowing it to take over. Okay. So when we’re talking about awareness, if subconscious was automatic and default, so super conscious is intentional and almost guided, right? You’re intentionally deciding that you want to go a certain way.

Okay, you’ve taken over the wheel you are now in charge and it’s not just oh i’m in charge But more like the higher part of me my soul God’s guidance all of that working together is now going to take over and the way that it works is fascinating. And it’s very similar to the subconscious, right?

Because you are getting, you know, deep into this meditative state, but instead of just noticing what’s going on, now you get to decide what to do with it, which is really fascinating. And this is very spiritual and it’s very intuitive and it’s very high level. OK, so it’s. We’re talking big stuff, okay?

Like, really beautiful ability to intentionally choose. What you want to do with what’s going on subconsciously. Okay. So the subconscious is the default. It’s what happened until this point. And then the superconscious is basically what’s going to take it from here to where you want to go versus to just leaving it as a protective mechanism, which is subconscious reaction to whatever it collected. I hope that makes sense to you. Examples of super conscious are intuition, inspiration, profound insight, spiritual experiences. It’s those times where you’re like, aha, you know, like your eyes open up wide and you finally like clicked. That’s a really super conscious moment, right? It’s not subconscious, it’s super conscious.

And then the next level of that is actually intentionally. So, we’re going to talk more about that.

You can access superconscious again by meditation and guided imagery and also prayer. Prayer is a beautiful way to access superconscious because it connects you to God. The source of everything, and it allows you to be completely honest about what you really want and where you want to go. And then it opens the channel to also allow you to listen and to be guided to there.

So it’s an amazing tool, I guess we could call prayer. Okay.

So back to my example of my meditation. We get out of the elevator and now she’s like, try to figure out what you saw and what it means. And then at that point, this is when I realized. Oh, that was the room of my fears and that hole in the ground was the birthing canal. I’m afraid to give birth and it hit me and then I turned off the zoom like I closed the computer, turned off everything and decided to go back in, and I took a deep breath.

I closed my eyes and I went back in

and I said, Reading all these explanations on the walls, and trying to figure out what the fear came from, and why am I so afraid, and what’s this coming, blah blah blah, to teach me all that stuff, that is just distracting me from what needs to happen right now, which is Jumping in and I had jumped in to the hole in the ground and it was like a slide and I slid down And on the other side of the slide I arrived onto my arms and It was this like very close up picture of me holding a newborn baby And then I arrived from the slide, and I held myself, like little me, on the other side, so I was like, part of this picture, now, of, I birthed a baby, everything’s okay, but I also birthed the next Version of myself, like giving birth is now going to mean a new version of me as a mother, as a human, as a wife, as everything.

And I thought that was just fascinating. And I just stayed there and it felt so warm and so loving. And it was this just very close up picture, like that’s all I came into, right? I slid and it was like, and I realized. That room was so cold and so white and the walls are so like bare except for the examples of the fears and here there’s just warmth and closeness and Perfection like there was nothing to be afraid of And it felt so good and I just drank it all up.

I let it soak into every part of my being and That decision, that choice of not getting distracted with, why am I afraid? And where are these fears coming from? And just realizing that that’s all not serving me. What’s actually going to serve me is take action. It took so much pressure out of trying to figure it all out.

And I just jumped in. That was so amazing and at that moment. I just you know when I was ready I opened up my eyes, and I just took a deep breath, and I started journaling all of this I started writing what happened how I got here what I noticed and how I Intentionally decided to go back in. By the way.

I gave birth. I think the next day Or that night yeah, I think it was the next morning. Yeah I gave birth the next morning. That was my number seven. I’m now expecting number eight. It’s possibly why subconsciously that example came to me. But it was so profound and this is a perfect example to show the difference between the subconscious and the super conscious.

The subconscious is noticing what’s there and just being aware of what’s happening behind the scenes, knowing that You know, this is completely normal and there’s nothing wrong with me that I have fears. There’s nothing wrong with me that I have all these beliefs. It’s just part of life, no judgment.

And then the next level work that happened was the super conscious where I was able to say, I am going back in there intentionally. to choose where this is going to go to actually take over, like become the driver of my own life and going back there and proving to myself subconsciously, right? Like behind the scenes, proving to myself with images, which by the way, remember last week we spoke about images, right?

So I saw. With my mind’s eye, I saw the result of what happens when you just take bold action and do the thing you need to do without the fear and with God’s help and just with so much trust, and it gave me the strength I needed to then. Start having contractions in the middle of the night and, you know, give birth that morning.

So thank God.

  Hey! Before we continue the episode, I want to ask you something. Are you ready to get answers from God directly? Feel more in love with your husband and more supported than ever? Run the business of your dreams without having to sacrifice any other part of your life? That is exactly what my one on one private coaching is for and I want to invite you, just you and me, for a free deep dive discovery call.

This is a 60 minute free call where I ask you lots of questions and we extract the three main things that are holding you back. I then put together a personalized plan for you where I create a roadmap of recommendations with practical steps. The call is free and so valuable in itself. So go book yours today.

Now back to the show.

 We use this a lot also for finding what happens behind the scenes. Recently there was a woman who said, I asked her, what’s holding you back? I said, tell me what it looks like. And this is not that difficult. Okay. You can do this with journaling. You can do this with just your own imagination.

Ask yourself, what’s holding me back? And try to see it, not so much explain it, right? This is what we talked about, you know, with overthinking and being in your brain too much. I want you to get into your body. So take a deep breath, really get into your own self and allow your shoulders to drop and allow your brain to just sort of put all the thoughts aside and clear out and be ready to just receive whatever is happening.

Go in there subconsciously. And listen up like what’s going on and for her it was her past. Even though it was Dysfunctional it was terrible. It was the worst thing that you don’t want to Imagine for anyone, but this was her life. That was this dark box That was dreary and icky and had things poking in and she just had to constantly be like Shrinking and shrinking and shrinking because the pokies were getting in her way And she just instead of growing and becoming she had to constantly be like adjusting to having all these traumas and She said, I’ve tried leaving the box.

I leave for a little bit, and as soon as I start succeeding, as soon as I start enjoying the weather, and the view, and the sun, and the air, and things start to work, somehow, I end up back in the box. And I don’t know why I don’t know what’s going on right and this is very normal This is what we’re talking about when we say go into the subconscious and find out what’s going on We’re just noticing that This is her comfort zone.

So as uncomfortable as it is this represents Everything she knows for her entire childhood plus young adult life This is all she knew and this is what makes her feel at home And this is where she could put up her feet and just be herself. Yeah, it’s not comfortable. Yeah, it’s keeping her small.

Yeah, it hurts, and it brings up terrible things. But it’s all she knows, and this is comfort zone. Like, this is what works. So, your brain isn’t thinking, you know, how do I get out of here? It’s more thinking, how do I make sure I’m safe? And this is the only safe place she knows. So, pushing out of that you need a lot of willpower, you need a lot of emotional resilience, and you’re like push through and then you go, go, go, go, go, and you’re like, wow, things are starting to work and I’m working hard and I’m getting there.

And the hard work is not sustainable because as soon as you hit something that’s a trigger and a trigger could be success. Right as soon as you start making money as soon as you start becoming you know successful as soon as people tell you wow You’ve really healed as soon as you Start to feel like you’re not as dependent on other people as you think you were or whatever The thing could be that triggers your brain to say whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa stop right there We are not safe The first thing it’s going to do is pull you back and it’s going to pull you back all the way to when it felt safe.

And as unsafe as that box is, that’s her safe place. So after she described all this and we were able to really solidify what’s going on, the next thing was the super conscious level. And this was fascinating, the most beautiful thing that happened because we went back in with my guidance and she approached the box and now she is her big self and her little self is squished in the box and She came to get her out And she came to talk to her and see what she needs in order to come out and the little version of herself was afraid and was scared and was uncomfortable and didn’t know what to do and felt like there’s no other choice and all the things which was totally legit.

And she said, you know what, can you just come out for just a minute so that I can go in and see what’s going on inside. So she said sure and Then I told her now you get to Redesign the place open up all the windows Tear down all the pokey things add light add air Add beauty like go shopping and get yourself a new couch and a new and new, new lighting and whatever makes you feel so good in there.

Like re design the box and you guys, when I do these things, I don’t know where we’re going with this. This is very much like a channel, right? So it was super guided. I was following. Almost like following orders, following my intuition to tell her to do this, but it just made so much sense. Like there was nothing else to do but to redesign the box because the box is not going anywhere.

It’s always going to be there, but you get to decide what the box looks like and how it feels inside. And so she went in as an adult version of herself. She cleaned out. Got all the garbage out, swept, washed, opened up the windows, got all the light in, you know, like, got all the paint off, and just repainted, and put in new whatevers, everything she wanted, and then it was the most beautiful place, most comfortable place, and now comfort zone wasn’t And I said, Great, now you can stay here for as long as you want.

You don’t have to run away from it anymore. And this, you know, by the way, when I say whole, I want you to be whole. What I’m saying is I don’t want you to feel like there’s a part of you that has to be disconnected, that has to be ran away from, that has to be put aside. This week we were talking about, people who become religious or become observant or find this inspiration to change their lifestyle and then the past self of themselves is almost like broken or not necessary anymore or oh that was the past me i don’t trust that anymore i can’t you know i can’t that’s not me anymore and they have a disconnect that disconnect that is created When you find your new self is very dangerous because it now means that if you can’t trust your old self, then you can’t trust all of the experiences you’ve had in the past and you can’t trust that you can make decisions and now you start having to be dependent on other people who quote unquote know better to tell you what to do with your life.

And this is something that happens a lot with people who have this complete reawakening or whatever, or awakening they suddenly become brand new. They have to learn everything. They consume a lot of information all at once. And because they don’t trust themselves, they’re leaning on their trustee advisors and people around and friends and guides and teachers and whatever to guide them and tell them what to do.

And I’ve seen this very much when it comes to dating because at a certain point you’re ready to date and now you’re going to go and find the girl or find the guy and You don’t trust yourself. So there’s a system, you have to follow the system, and this is what we do, and this is how many times we go out, and this is what happens when you’re ready, and this is how you know to do this, that, the other, and there’s all these quote unquote rules that the system throws at you and because you don’t trust yourself, you have to trust something.

So you trust everyone else’s opinions and it messes with you. And then I see it as a marriage coach when it comes many years later and says, Oh, I think, I think that I, I don’t know. I don’t think that I made the right decision or I think that this isn’t the right match or maybe I’m not as excited about my new lifestyle as I was and now I want to sort of find a balance but my wife or husband.

are on a different path. What happens when suddenly you readjust your path because you’re finally finding balance and you’re not on the same path anymore. So these are things that come to me a lot. And I think that it all stems from this disconnect. Okay. So when I’m talking, I want you to be whole.

I want you to invite all the parts of you to come and live with you and really. Be a part of your life and if they are too painful to handle having in the same room, you can super subconsciously help them adjust to the new reality. Okay? So we can do that in many ways. And in this specific example, what we did was.

Instead of cutting away from the box and trying to run away from the box, which is the past, we are bringing the box into our life and saying, this is always going to be comfort zone. Let’s just make it as comfortable as it can be for us when we need to go back in. Right? And when, when we came out of that meditation, she said, there’s no words, there’s no words.

You totally shocked me. You surprised me. I can’t believe it. You know, I thought you were gonna have me like talk the girl out of it and explain to her why it’s not good for her to be stuck there and blah blah blah. But then, you didn’t do any of that stuff. The girl can still stay in her subconscious comfort zone, but it doesn’t have to be painful anymore, and it doesn’t have to be squishy and, and suffocating anymore.

Now it could just be normal. So you can rewrite the narrative. You can reimagine what is possible for you. And it doesn’t mean that you’re changing the history. Yes, of course, you can’t change the past, but for your brain, you can definitely assist by adjusting the things that aren’t working for you right now.

Okay. And we do that with super conscious. So again, the examples. bring out the different parts. The subconscious is just what is, and it’s amazing to go in and see and notice and experience. Oh, this is what’s holding me back, or oh, this is what’s going on behind the scenes. I believe this about that, or I know this about the world that isn’t really true, or whatever is, right?

That’s the subconscious. But then you can intentionally go back And adjust, redesign, reprogram, rewrite the narrative to be supporting you along the journey. Okay? And that’s what I’m talking about when I say subconscious and super conscious. And now you understand better. So, let’s just pull it all together for you and then let you go on to your beautiful day or to go listen to more podcasts because there’s a lot to binge on.

So, the subconscious is here to protect you. It is default. It’s automatic. It is just doing its job, collecting information and storing it in a way that is going to make sure that you are safe and alive and well. Now, is that always going to keep you safe and alive and well? Technically, but it’s also going to keep you nice and

known like in the comfort area known, right? It’s not gonna let you go out too far into the wilderness It’s not going to let you grow too much it’s not going to let you expand because it’s afraid of the unknown and It just doesn’t have enough evidence that the unknown is a good place to go. With the help of the super conscious you can connect to something bigger than yourself, obviously God.

And once you have God on your side and you bring him into the situation, now you can calm your nerves and say, God is immovable. He’s a rock. He is the source of everything. He’s the creator. So he’s super creative and I’m leaning on him now and together we can do this, right? Now when I want to expand, I don’t just want to expand for my own sake.

I want to expand for God’s sake and my will was put there from God so that I want what God wants and I can act in this world outside of my comfort zone. I’m actually going to take action. That’s scary. and is going to make amazing impact on the world. But in order to do that, I need to be able to feel comfortable and safe doing it.

So you’re bringing all of that very grounded energy and with a lot of confidence allowing your subconscious to understand the evidence is here for you to be safely growing. And this is the best way that I found to get out of comfort zone and into a momentum where you are growing and moving forward and impacting and actually creating the life that you want to create Without having to work work work work work and run run run run run It’s exhausting now. I have one more example for you, and that is the two people running. I’ve used this metaphor before, and I think it’s just fantastic, so I’m going to use it again. You have two men running. One is running away from the bear, and one is running towards the finish line of a marathon.

They’re both running just as fast, and they’re both working at their highest speed. energy level except the guy running away from the bear is Scared for his life. His stress level is at a hundred and he’s running, running, running, running, running, running for his life away from the bear and just praying that he’s not eaten, right?

The guy running for the marathon, for the finish line in the marathon, he’s running just as fast, putting in just his all, all the same things like the other guy, except the stress level is. So low, he’s excited, he is focused, he is going to do it and he’s running to get to the finish line. Do you see the difference in energy between the two men?

That is the difference between two people trying to reach the exact same goal, like growing your business or making an impact or actually doing something that you love to do, except one person is running away from their past, away from their subconscious He’s holding backs and he’s working really hard and it’s exhausting and draining.

And the other person is running towards their goals, towards their dreams, towards this reality that they want to create. And they’re working just as hard, but they’re feeling amazing about it. And that’s what I want for you. I want you to stop feeling exhausted and drained and to start feeling Alive and excited and just so Happy that this is your life.

It’s just like I am putting in my all but I love it Okay, that’s that’s the difference when I say let it be easy I don’t mean just put your feet up and don’t do anything. I mean stop trying to Work against gravity. Stop trying to like make it harder than it needs to be. Okay?

I love you all. I am so grateful that you’re here. I can’t say that enough. I know that you could be in a million places and you could be listening to a million other shows and you can be

Not here at all, but you are and you got all the way to the end of this episode and it makes me so happy to know that. And if you’re on my email list, you know that I appreciate you and I love you. And if you’re not on my email list, go get there right now. Best way to do that is by going to connected for real.

com slash guide. And then you’ll also get the. Guide to unravel overwhelm, which is a perfect place to start and then you’ll get on my email list and you’ll get the welcome Sequence and you’ll get all the good stuff. It’s absolutely amazing, so I wish you the courage to take action and to know when you’re ready.

And when you are ready, I invite you to come and work with me. I have a three month process that I take people through, and this is exactly what we do in the process. Every time we meet, We go deep into it. We redesign it and adjust it and rewrite it so that it’s no longer holding you back. And you will start to see your life slowly shifting towards ease and flow and intentionality.

And it feels amazing to live from that place. So when you’re ready, go to connected for real. com slash coaching, and let’s talk. You’ll get a free 60 minute discovery call with me, which just that is totally worth it. It’s not even, it doesn’t cost you anything. You show up, you get me for 60 minutes getting to the bottom of what’s actually going on and then I also tell you the unique way for you to get there.

So it’s fascinating and I can’t wait to meet you. in quote unquote real life. I don’t know. Does Zoom count as real life? Well, it is live. Whatever. Getting too esoteric over here. But yes, I can’t wait to meet you. All the best. I love you all. And don’t forget to be connected for real.

 And that’s it! Thank you for listening to the very end. I would love if you can leave a review and subscribe to the podcast. Those are things that tell the algorithm this is a good podcast and make sure to suggest it to others. Wouldn’t it be amazing if more people became more connected for real? And now take a moment and think of someone who might benefit from this episode.

Can you share it with them? I am Robinson Bat chen Grossman from connectedforreal. com. Thank you so much for listening and don’t forget you can be connected for real.